it’s was unusually quiet in the dorms. based on most of the times you visited, it’s typically been a madhouse. this was true especially with the dreamies. they were ecstatic to finally have mark rejoin them, so many resumed game seshes and movie nights were held in their definition of ‘celebration’
jaemin loved having you around the other boys. he was comfortable knowing that you fit right in with the atmosphere of the group, constantly participating in their rowdy antics.
however, tonight was calmer than usual. despite all being crowded in the same room, the younger boys were busy existing in their own little bubble. renjun had his headphones in reading an audiobook, chensung were playing league on the ground next to the couch, jeno was watching the recording of this morning’s dance rehearsal, and mark was quietly strumming his guitar while humming an unfamiliar tune.
you were splayed across jaemin’s lap as he aimlessly scrolled through his phone. head nestled on top of his thighs, you began taking some selfies of yourself to send to jaemin, hoping to fluster him. jaemin’s eyes fluttered down to your face, where you were sticking your tongue out at yourself in the camera. he tapped at your thigh, smirk adoring his face and you hid your face with your phone, embarrassed to have been caught.
face hot in bashfulness, you turn the camera on jaemin, who is back looking at his phone. biting your lip, you seize the opportunity for revenge.
“jaems.”
he looks down at the sound of his name as your finger hits the capture button.
the silence in the room is quickly disturbed by the laughter that bubbles from your throat. you never once thought jaemin could have a bad angle, but boy did this picture prove you wrong.
“hey—“jaemin protests but you shove a hand on his face as you sit up to show jeno the horrid picture of your boyfriend.
jeno’s laughter prompts the two youngest boys to pause their game and scramble to look at the photo.
“hyung, you look so ugly,” chenle laughs without any regard to formality. jaemin pouts at his remark, and at you for enticing them to pick fun at him.
he gently pushes you off his lap and storms out of the room. you roll your eyes, knowing how childish jaemin can be when his ego is bruised.
“you’re such a baby,” you shout after him, hopping off of the couch and out of the room. you see jaemin sulking on the way to his room, and you run after him, slipping under his arm right before he can shut the door behind him.
your eyes crinkle in amusement at the pouty expression on jaemin’s face. giggling, you toss your arms around his neck, standing on your tiptoes to pepper small kisses all over his downturned face. he doesn’t push you away, but you giggle as you can feel jaemin physically and mentally try to fight off your loving attack.
“i’m sorryyyyy,” you whine, jutting out your bottom lip at him. his eyes dart to your lips for a quick second, and you almost miss the small quiver of the corner of his mouth. you sigh, giving into what you know he wants. “if we cuddle will you stop being mad at me?”
jaemin can’t help the wide grin that spreads across his face at the sound of your pleads. you feel his arms slowly encase you into his embrace and you squint and purse your lips at him, annoyed at the fact that he most had this scenario mapped out in his head from the beginning.
“of course, baby.” jaemin gives you a sweet kiss that practically coats your tongue in sugar.
“you just wanted to get me alone, didn’t you?” you question, raising an eyebrow. jaemin looks up at the ceiling, pretending to ponder at your question.
‘hmmm, maybe?”
“well it worked,” you say, gently tugging him towards the bed you two shared often. “happy?”
“very,”jaemin grins, plopping onto the covers, bringing you down with him.
hehe im back after not posting for a long ass time with a short fluff :)
pairing - gender neutral! reader x na jaemin
genre - fluff
requested - nah
____
- uwu so you guys are like okay laid ease its time for us to be grown and move tf out
- you guys spent the whole week before moving your stuff over to the apartment and unpacking
- jaemin is like “dont miss me too much guys i’ll just be down the street”
- hyuck is like “no ones gonna miss you but ok”
- anyways!
- so you guys move into the apartment down the street from the dorms together
- hes like lets have a special dinner to celebrate us living togther
- and its kind of cute :) and you uwu silently watching him cooking
- you guys are just excited to live together because you can kiss as much as you want without jisung yelling ew
- anyways you walk in to the kitchen getting ready to take advantage of this kissing but then you look at the fridge
- and you see pictures of you and jaemin together and you literally uwu out loud can you believe it
- “jaemin did you put all this up on the fridge?”
- “maybe why?” he mumbles back distracted but you notice the little pink tint to his cheek
- “you’re so freaking cute” and you launch yourself over to him bc ur dramatic
- so yeah remember when i said jaemin was gonna cook
- well he did more than just COOK
- he made a feast
- chef boyarde
- and you’re ready to dive in
- but hes like babe hold on
- and he clears his throat and give this long ass speech about how happy he is to have move in with the love of his life
- “i know i joke around a lot but seriously moving in with you has made me the happiest man ever you’re the love of my life and im so happy to grow and create a loving space to come home to with you”
- and then he just nonchalantly starts eating his food as if he doesnt have you on the verge of tears
- and you just grab his hand and tell you love him so much and is so excited to live with him before giving him a phat smooch on his cheek
- and hes so cute and ever 10 minutes or so he will lean over and feed you or clean your mouth for you
- and you just cant believe you get to live with and love this beautiful human
- so basically you’ve just been heart eyes all day
- and now its time to sleep
- and he’s laughing at you because you’ve been heart eyes all day and he’s definitely noticed
- so you’re just all snuggled up in his arms playing with his fingers because he has cute hands
- and he like kisses your neck and tells you how cute you are
- and you’ve had enough
- so you’re just like can you stop being fucking cute jesus christ
- and you know hes doing it on purpose
- but he cant help it bc he loves when he looks at you and sees the love you have for him in your eyes
- so he just keeps whispering sweet nothings in your ear and kissing your neck and shoulder ever so often till you fall asleep
- and then he eventually falls asleep with his head buried in the crook of your neck
- and thats the first day of you living with jaemin
- everyone always has a different way of finding their soulmate.
- one of your friends was stuck in a loop until they found their soulmate haechan and another one of your friends had their soulmate voice in their head.
- out of all of your mini friend group you have it just a little harder.
- you know what your soulmate looks like and their personality, the problem was just you didn’t know where your soulmate was.
- you only know his name starts with a j and that he was really adorable.
- you were able to communicate in your dreams, almost every night you guys would sit in some unrecognizable area and talk.
- today you were extra tired, you and your soulmate agreed to go to sleep around 10 pm every night so you would get to spend time together but you couldn’t help it.
- after two ap test and your friends being constantly lovey dovey with their soulmates at lunch you couldn’t help but want to take a i’m lowkey bitter about not knowing my soulmate nap.
- you were in dreamland for almost two hours when jaemin finally popped up.
- “baby, how long have you been waiting for me?” he smiled going to kiss your cheek.
- “i’m not sure, it’s been a while though. i couldn’t help it though my test and friends were stressing me out.” you whined slightly as he pulled you into his chest.
- you laugh when he tickles your sides trying to brighten your mood.
- “what did your friends do?”
- “oh it’s nothing they can help, i just get a little sad and jealous when i see them with their soulmates at lunch. it’s stupid” you murmur the last part looking down.
- he lifts your chin up smiling down at you, “it’s okay baby because soon we will meet. plus we must be the coolest couple who else gets to meet their soulmate in their dream every night?”
- you couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on your face. he always knew how to make everything better and make you smile even when you don’t want to.
- you guys just sit holding each other for a while and you can feel the sort of melancholic atmosphere.
- you knew both of you were thinking, what if dreams were all you were gonna have for a long time.
- you know its time to go when you can feel yourself slightly stirring in your sleep.
- he gives you a sad smile, a smile nonetheless, kissing your cheek before you wake up.
- you still feel kinda sad but with a more determination to find your soulmate, wanting to prove dreams would not be the only thing you have.
- you ask your friends if they or their soulmates know a boy with golden brown hair and name starts with a j.
- they all say they know nothing and you feel slightly defeated but you promised yourself you wouldn’t give up!
- you started to go later and later into your dreams (which was bad because you guys only had a limited amount of time starting) because you would spend most of your time after school exploring new areas in hopes of finding your love.
- one night your mom requested you come straight home and you took a nice loooongggggg nap and you saw jaemin waiting there for you with an expression that is a mixture of annoyance and worry.
- you wrapped your arms around him but he didn’t return the hug and you looked up at him confused.
- “what’s wrong, honey?”
- “why do you keep coming into your dreams later? you know our time is limited already. i haven’t even seen you properly for a month.”
- well you didn’t really wanna tell him you were looking for him because he told you before he thinks you will meet when the time is right and that spending time together in your dreams was worth the wait.
- “i’ve just been busy is all.” you said softly trying not to upset him. unfortunately that didn’t seem to work.
- “you must mistake me for a fool. i’m your soulmate, you think i don’t know that you’ve been wandering around everywhere trying to find me again?”
- you kinda gasped a little but you knew jaemin had always been very perceptive and you aren’t exactly an expert in hiding things.
- he could see the sad look on your face so he tried to calm down but he couldn’t help the clear annoyance in his voice.
- “baby, you were too busy worrying about me that you didn’t even stop to think about yourself. what if your wandering lead you into a bad area, did you even think about the possibility of us not being close to each other?“
- before you even got the chance to respond you woke up because your mom was calling you for dinner and told you the next day you would be visiting your cousins for the weekend.
- so the next day, you guys pull up to your cousins house and shes like “omg i’m sorry if i knew you were coming I wouldn’t have invited friends over.”
- and you tell her it’s okay you’ll just chill in the living room and catch up with the babies and everyone else.
- so an hour later your cousins friends are walking through the living room and you look up and your heart drops.
- it’s him.
- you look down because you start to get nervous because i mean your meeting the love of your life.
- but its too late because he’s already tackling you into a hug.
- “i’m so happy we finally met baby.”
- “honey, can you tell me your name.” you try to say with your normal voice but he’s hugging you too tight.
- “oh yeah i forgot we don’t know that about each other.” he laughs.
synopsis:you’ve been waiting for someone like jaemin.
genre:fluff(but like sappy fluff ¿)
word count: 975
a/n:happy bday to the boy with the heartiest heart :[ this was not proof read and was rushed bc i started school already so yeah… and this is quite personal since it’s literally just me projecting all my insecurities in my love life lmfao so enjoy !!
falling for a person like jaemin isn’t difficult. definitely not when he’s just so easy to love. it makes you wonder if it’s too easy, as if there’s a catch to it all. though, with the way his tired eyes light up instantly when he sees you walking toward him in the courtyard, anyone could recognize how in love he truly is. jaemin, the boy who wakes up early just so he can give you your morning coffee before your first class even though he doesn’t have class until noon.
the way your heart flutters when he immediately takes a seat next to you in the booth of your favorite diner just so he can hold your hand while eating, and the close proximity promises that he doesn’t miss a single (boring) word you say. still, jaemin makes it known that he’s listening by nodding his head, humming, and maintaining eye contact that is nearly impossible for you to hold.
the worries you once had of not being able to attain that undying love that lasts until you and your partner are wrinkly and weak, crumbles down when jaemin rests his chin on your head as he secures his embrace around you as you both lay on the bed. there are still nights where you assume that he’s just staying with you for pity. but you are proven wrong the next morning when you’re awoken alone in his bed as he got up extra early to make you breakfast, making sure to be quiet the entire time so he doesn’t disrupt your rest. throughout your time together, jaemin observes your expression when eating to see if the food satisfies you, then mentally takes note of the stuff you like and dislike.
all the bad experiences you’ve had with past lovers, moments that almost made you give up on trying to find “the one,” have all been replaced with the fondest memories made with jaemin. one of which is right this moment. the view of the sky from on top of jaemin’s rooftop beats any hill in this small town.
you lean against his chest, his knees act as arm rests for your comfort. jaemin’s toned arms have a strong hold around your waist while his chin is delicately placed on your shoulder.
no words are being exchanged, just deep breaths and the rhythmic beating of your hearts. fingers playing with one another. stepping on each other’s shoes teasingly like what middle schoolers do.
stars are scattered on its dark canvas. “that one is the prettiest,” he whispers, his warm breath hitting your neck. you can see a finger of his point from the corner of your eyes but you didn’t need to know which star he was referring to know which he thinks is the prettiest star of them all.
it’s the biggest one, twinkling in intervals of five seconds, you’ve been observing that one even before jaemin pointed it out. “i think so too.”
moments like these where comfortable silence and calm breathing with jaemin are so valuable. you aren’t sure where else you can find silence that lasts so long and still find it tolerable and enjoyable. jaemin is contradictory to your love life, or the love life that you used to have. the partners you used to date; the attention you used to attract; the treatment you used to deal with.
with jaemin, everything has been completely foreign to you, almost shocking as fiction you’ve read in your sappy romance books is becoming a reality for you. it boggles you. you’re guilty of wanting it to be too good to be true at times when things are suspiciously too calm. almost if calmness terrifies you as you expect it to be the “calm before the storm,” and you have no choice but to sit still and wait for that storm to hit.
“avoir elle est avoir les étoilés,” the voice behind you interrupts your thoughts. he pauses to place a kiss behind your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “to have her is to have the stars.”
heat spreads all through your face and neck. once again, your partner proves your worries false. as his ways of showing love continue and become more prevalent every passing day, those worries crumble down. when he cooks you dinner after a long day at school, that’s when you know it’s genuine. when he nags you to take care of yourself constantly, you know it’s because he cares for you. and when he maintains eye contact and nods while you ramble on about your boring day, you just know.
“you mean so much to me,” you whisper, it’s barely audible. “truly,” said with more power but still requires good hearing to comprehend what you said.
jaemin smiles, and his neck and the tip of his ears become hot. although he hasn’t said the three words in respect for your request to take things slowly, he knows the words you had just said hold the same weight. and to be real, jaemin will cherish anything you give and say to him despite how little it may seem to you — how effortless it looks to you — he will accept and love anything, because, well, he loves you and everything that deals with you.
you’re aware that there is no rush in your relationship, but sometimes, you want nothing more than these thoughts and second guesses to disappear suddenly so you can fully take in jaemin’s love. so you can dive into the ocean of his affection.
but for now, you’ll just remain in his tight hold, embracing the comfort and security he brings along with his endless love — reserved just for you. because a person like jaemin deserves to be reciprocated with the same amount of love he willingly gives to others with no hesitation.
hi honey! it’s your nana ~ how are you? have you been eating well? are you keeping cool? aahhh.. the weather is getting so hot now! i miss you so much. we all miss you! haechan won’t stop trying to get me to call you .. but i know you’re busy so i’ll wait till you’re ready! how’s london? is there anyone treating you badly .. tell them you have a big bad boyfriend that will knock them out!! although, don’t show them what i look like .. nana doesn’t look too intimidating. today, we got our 7th win! have you been listening to hot sauce? i’d hope so T__T i wish you were here.. it’s okay though! czennie is here :D
aah.. y/n, i miss you so much. nights have been so hard. i feel so lonely without you :C but, i know you are working hard for your dream! i will always support you, my love. i just miss you lots. a few more months, right? it’s okay, we will be reunited soon. as long as i see you someday, i will fight through these lonely nights! just for my y/n ~ i love you! i hope this letter gets delivered soon.
with all of the love in the world,
your nana <3
jaemin grabbed his phone, pulling out his favorite voicemail from you. he never deleted it, knowing he’d need it on these difficult days.
you and jaemin haven’t been separated for this long in your entire relationship, you were always able to see him monthly at least. jaemin being an idol already tested your relationship before, him being gone for weeks wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle anymore. jaemin was too busy to constantly think about you being gone, but being alone in his own silence - made him want to scream your name. just hoping that if he said your name loud enough, you’d come home sooner.
you and jaemin haven’t been separated for this long in your entire relationship, you were always able to see him monthly at least. jaemin being an idol already tested your relationship before, him being gone for weeks wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle anymore. jaemin was too busy to constantly think about you being gone, but being alone in his own silence - made him want to scream your name. just hoping that if he said your name loud enough, you’d come home sooner.
he couldn’t be mad at you for leaving. you were following your dream. becoming a surgeon was your biggest dream ever since you were a child. you worked too hard not to take up the internship in london. as much as he wanted to beg you not to go, he knew you also suffered when he had schedules for his job. he knew you suffered too, and barely complained. jaemin couldn’t find it in himself to be selfish - no matter how bad he wanted to be.
as he played your voicemail, he couldn’t contain the big smile when he heard your soft voice. he knew you were tired, he could hear it. yet you still took the time to leave a voice mail. he felt so cared for, even if you were thousands of miles away.
“hi jaem! sorry i didn’t answer your call.. the hospital made me stay for soooo long. your letter hasn’t came in the mail yet, i hope it’s not stuck! i know it’s super late there, but make sure you’re taking the time to take care of yourself. your schedule is probably so full.. so don’t forget to care about your health! ah, i have to go now. i wish i could talk to you longer, but i have this meeting in a few minutes. i’ll call you soon sweetheart! i love you so much, goodnight!”
no matter where you guys were, you were each other’s home.
“pretty.”jaemin mutters softly, his thumb running over your knuckles. you could hear the leaves rustling in the late summer wind as you lay sprawled out upon the pale yellow picnic blanket underneath you and jaemin. a mischievous smile plays on your lips as you quirked back at him.
“are you talking about me or the sky there, babe?” his eyes flicker towards you, a small smile playing on his lips as he shuffles closer to you. jaemin’s hair was slightly windblown, his hand suddenly enveloping yours in a warm embrace as he rests his head lazily into the crook of your neck. you could hear a deep sigh coming from jaemin as he placed a soft kiss onto your cheek. you smiled shyly to yourself, you could feel your cheeks starting to burn a rosy red from his kiss.
jaemin nestles closer to you as he murmurs. “both.” you hear him pause in his sentence. you turn towards him, an eyebrow arched before he continues. “though, in my eyes you’re prettier.”
“dance with me, y/n?”boyfriend!jaeminasks you, his chocolate eyes glimmering in the dim lighting of the apartment. slow yet charming music started to flood the empty apartment as he took a careful step closer towards you, his arm extended towards you with a small smirk playing upon his lips. you carefully slide a worn bookmark between the aged pages of your book as you turn to your boyfriend, his sweater hanging loose off his frame. you let out a deep sigh before taking his outreached hand, a mischevious grin gracing both of your faces as jaemin gracefully spins you into his embrace.
you feel your chest flushed against his as he wraps his warm hand around your waist, pulling you closer as you both sway to the melodic music across the hardwood floors. “so,” you mutter quietly. “mind me asking what spurred this sudden dance?” you let your gaze fall on jaeminas he looks back at you, a reddish hue starting to spread lightly across his cheeks as he answered back. “what? is it not allowed for a boyfriend like me to take the one i love for a romantic dance?” you giggle at his response, nuzzling yourself closer into the warm crook of his neck as you feel jaemin’sgrip around your waist tighten.
“fair point.” jaeminsmiles lopsidedly at your response as he watches you sway alongside him under the pale lighting of the apartment, creating an ethereal aura around the both of you. he lets outs a soft sight before he lets his temple rest lazily against yours. you hum contently as you place a chaste kiss upon jaemin’s lips, leaving you feeling fluttery from his touch. jaemin pauses for a second before turning his head towards your lips as they crash softly together, letting your feet move along accordingly to the slow rhythm of the music. you feel your shoulders droop as you both pull away, smiling coyly at each other before you return your chin to jaemin’sbroad shoulders and his to your temple. this goes on for a while. jaemin’seyes glazed over with pure adoration towards you and yours filled with a deep love for him.
the song in the background seems to never cease, playing the same sweet melody over and over again as you both slow-dance away into the airy night with hearts full of an evergrowing love.
“what are you so happy for?” you ask jaeminas you two lie tangled under a blanket, watching the stars twinkle from the comfort of your apartment window. you feel his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “nothing really,” he replies, placing a soft kiss to the side of your neck. “it’s just that i get to wake up to an angel every morning.”jaeminwhispers as his thumb rubs your exposed cheek. you mutter “go to sleep, you sappy dork.” as he giggles softly before placing another tender kiss upon your lips. jaeminfinds himself cuddling closer to him as you both fall asleep in each other’s arms.
synopsis: a misunderstanding drives jaemin away from the only person that he should’ve trusted. when reality slaps him in the face he feels miserable and tries to win his love back. or something of the sort lol
characters: Jaemin, Main Character, Jeno, and a bit of Haechan, Renjun, Chenle, Mark and Jisung.
pairing: boyfriend!jaemin x f.maincharacter
genre: angst angst angst and fluff
word count: 7k (fucking hell it’s THAT long?) sorry lmao
warnings: none
author’s note: this took way too long to finish jfvamejgf but i really couldn’t come up with a good enough ending. or more like i couldn’t write down what i wanted to write lol but i finally finished it heheh i hope you like it and it satisfies the wait i made you go through lol
the many things people told him echoed in his head. the dimmed lights of his studio room and the slow, low beat of the music not doing much to brighten up his mood.
she’s being too friendly with that one friend of yours, don’t you think?
he’s warming up too much to her.
watch out, you wouldn’t want someone to whisk her away from you, she is a bit naive, she could be affected too easily.
and it would all have fallen to deaf ears, because he was never one to let anyone talk about his personal life, only if one of his closest friends hadn’t said something.
“jaem,” jeno’s voice made jaemin turn to his friend. jeno looked around to their other friends before figuring out they wouldn’t let what he was going to say out of the circle.
“yeah,” jaemin smiled at jeno, remnants of his laugher from what renjun was saying. jeno cleared his throat still unsure how to approach the topic.
as soon as the news reached his ears he had searched for his friend. he was unsure of the news but he figured jaemin could always ask y/n and they would solve things if it were to be lies. what jeno didn’t know at the time was all the other stuff jaemin had heard.
“listen,” jeno started, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips, “i.. people are saying some stuff and i-,” he cleared his throat again, in nervousness, “i thought i should let you know. i don’t think they are true at all! but… one can never be too sure, right?” he asked, voice unsure as his eyes darted to meet jaemin’s. the latter’s brows furrowed in confusion, wondering what the hell jeno was talking about and he was just about to ask when he continued.
“in case it’s wrong then you guys can always just clear it out but i heard this from someone close and thought i would let you know either ways,” jeno’s hand scratched his neck in nervousness.
“just fucking say it, oh my god,” chenle huffed, impatient with the suspense the older was building up.
“i swear to god, if you say something like a joke,” haechan warned, mark snorting.
“i’m serious, just,” jeno groaned, wondering why he had to be the one to break the news.
“just tell me, jeno,” jaemin smiled and jeno felt the already heavy load on his shoulder get 20 kgs heavier. he took a deep breath. all in one go, he thought, just like a band aid.
“y/n is cheating on you.”
and jaemin’s world fell apart.
everyone could have been wrong but jeno? could jeno be wrong too?
silence. total silence followed as jaemin’s smile fell and his eyes stared ahead to jeno but not really.
he thought about y/n, thought if he could picture her doing anything like than and the answer came right away, even before he finished his thought. no. just no. she could never. but they always said it’s the people you least expect it from. but y/n? she could never… right?
“what the fuck are you talking about?” it was mark who had spoken, the defensive tone evident in voice as he did nothing to mask it and jeno looked away from jaemin’s eyes to the eldest.
“y/n could never, she’s not like that,” renjun chuckled drily, in disbelief.
“jeno, are you sure about this?” haechan raised a hand in front of him to assess the grave situation.
“that’s what i said. i heard this from someone who’s reliable, i can’t say who, though.”
jaemin cleared his throat catching everyone’s attention. he gulped the lump in his throat before he looked around the group.
“i’ll handle this, don’t worry.”
that was all he said but even if he sounded calm and collected, his eyes said a different story, and his clenched jaw showed a different side of the coin. and as much as they wanted to believe he would handle it with care with y/n, they saw the storm coming even before he did. because jaemin’s eyes were on fire, he was aflame. and that uncertainty he had before had just been consumed with jeno’s confirmation. jaemin’s tipping point was reached. as he turned to walk away a hand grasped his arm.
“jaemin,” it was jisung, jaemin waited for him to go on.
“she would never do that.” was all he said.
the ding of his phone’s notification brought him back from the memory. he reached out to his phone deciding this could no longer be avoided. he was determined enough. with these thoughts running in his head he dialed y/n’s number and pressed the phone to his ear.
“hello? jaem?” she answered, and he sighed because how could she sound so angelic, and how was he supposed to confront her when he felt his heart tighten just by her voice. he sucked up the weakness he felt for her when she called out his name again.
“hey, where are you?” he asked softly, but no matter how much he tried to conceal it, the coldness in his voice seeped through.
“i’m at the cafe near my apartment with kyunhae,” she giggled and at the mention of the name jaemin saw red. what the fuck was she doing with him?
“when will you be done? i need to talk to you,” he deadpanned, voice colder than y/n had ever heard and she felt at alert right away. why was he talking like that?
“jaem?” wonder laced her voice as she silently asked what was up but jaemin said nothing.
“it’s urgent,” he specified and y/n had asked him to pick her up right away, sensing something was wrong. and jaemin was left confused to stare at his phone again.
how long are you gonna pretend you care about me? why are you doing me this dirty? why are you faking caring about me?
with those thoughts he had gotten up, whisked his jacket from behind his bedroom door and out of the house he was.
as he drove through the streets he tried to think again, he tried to figure out again if she could really have cheated on him. he was desperate for it to be a lie but then again, jeno had confirmed it, hadn’t he?
could the girl that held him so tightly when they slept, cheat on him? could the girl he grew to love so much do this to him? how could she even think about it when she cried during children’s movies, had ice cream cravings out of nowhere, cried in his arms, clinging to him when he had almost fainted from low blood pressure, helped him stand back on his feet whenever he was sick, babying him through the whole process. how could she cheat on him when she kissed him so softly, as if he was the most precious thing she had, when she held him so close as he murmured sweet nothings in her ears, when she looked at him with so much love when he smiled, when right as he laughed he would look over at her and she would be staring at him. her excuse? she loved seeing him happy. how could the same person that confessed her love for him in between shallow breaths, gasps and whines as he made her feel good be the same person to cheat. how could she make him feel so loved and so important if it was all fake.
it took him a total of twenty minutes to reach the cafe. he parked the car outside as he texted y/n he was out front. he waited for her leaned against the side of his car.
the door to the entrance to the cafe opened and y/n walked out first, face turned behind her as she laughed with kyunhae. jaemin’s hands balled into fists as he watched the interaction, the anger swam in his veins as he watched y/n collide her fist against his in a fist bump before calling out a text me later.
y/n turned out front to jaemin and the way her eyes seemed to genuinely spark up in bright stars as soon she saw him had his heart clenching in pain. how long have you been mastering this act? how can you look this genuine?
“hi, handsome,” she gushed as she pressed her chest to his, arms wrapping around his neck as she pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. jaemin gulped, eyes trained to her relaxed expression, eyes closed and a soft smile on her lips as she hugged him standing on her tippy toes. his arms shoot out out of habit as they went to wrap around her waist before his hands hovered over her frame. he couldn’t do it. he couldn’t pretend everything was okay.
as y/n didn’t feel jaemin hug her back she pulled away slowly, her eyes looking up at him as her arms slowly fell away from him.
“jaem?” she softly called him and his eyes met hers, cold as ever. her hand raised to rest on his cheek in affection but before she could touch his skin, his fingers wrapped around her wrist and stopped her in her tracks. y/n’s brows furrowed in confusion.
“let’s go,” he simply said as he stepped away and opened the passenger seat door for her, y/n looked at him for a few seconds more as he looked to the side and waited for her to get in, so she did.
the silence was eating y/n alive as she fidgeted with her fingers, suspecting something was wrong. she raked her brain, wondering if she did or said anything wrong but it all came empty.
“jaem?” she tentatively called for him. jaemin waited for a few seconds before he hummed in acknowledgement, but even that small sound seemed cold, colder than he had ever been.
“is something wrong?” she softly asked, hand reaching out to grasp his and intertwining their fingers before resting it on her lap. but as soon as the back of his hand rested against her jeans clad thigh he shook off her hand to grasp the wheel again.
she sat frozen, eyes trained where their hands were, her hand still in her lap the same way he had shook it off. what did i do so bad? she wondered.
“i’m driving,” came his excuse but she knew something else was up. he had never rejected her touch like this.
“if something is wrong please tell me, i’ll help you,” she shook off the hurt before turning to him and sending a small smile, eyes pleading, but jaemin stared ahead, silent.
a few minutes later jaemin parked the car in his apartment building garage before swiftly getting out and waiting for y/n. it took her a few seconds before she was out too. they made their way to the elevators. the elevator came, they got in, and it went up to jaemin and his friend’s apartment floor. all in silence.
jaemin walked in first, leaving the door open for y/n. as she closed the door behind her she made eye contact with jisung. the boy smiled warmly at the girl and stepped towards her.
“oh! didn’t know you were coming over, want some?” he raised the hot pot of ramen, seemingly on the way to his room, and y/n smiled shaking her head as she took her shoes off.
“i ate, but thank you,” she smiled warmly and jisung threw her a thumbs up before walking to his room and closing the door.
y/n walked into the apartment looking around for which way jaemin went before her eyes fell on his seated figure in the living room. everyone seemed to be in their own rooms apart from mark, who stood in the kitchen.
“hey,” he waved, a warm smile on his lips before his eyes shifted jaemin and his smile dimmed a bit, y/n waved back.
she shuffled towards jaemin, still confused as to what happened.
“jaemin?” she called for him, his head snapped her way before he slowly stood up.
“do you have anything to tell me?” he asked and y/n thought hard and careful if she had forgotten anything but came up with nothing so she timidly shook her head, hands picking at the border of her tshirt. the one that belonged to jaemin.
“did i forget anything?” she murmured, head low as she felt guilty for forgetting something that affected him so much.
“you have nothing to tell me?” he repeated, a scoff following and y/n looked back up at him, her brows furrowed.
“okay, let me ask you this,” he said, hands resting on his hips as he looked up at the ceiling. mark watched, debating whether he should leave or not, but then choosing against it, someone had to try and do damage control.
“what is kyunhae to you?” at the new question y/n’s brows furrowed even more.
“jaem what are you reaching at?” she asked, confusion eating her alive. jaemin’s eyes sent daggers her way and she realized that she never wanted to have that gaze on her ever again.
“answer my question; what. is. kyunhae. to. you?” he asked again, emphasizing his words. the agitation clear in his voice as he ran a hand through his hair. mark stepped into the living room area.
“jaemin, chill,” he tried to calm the younger and prevent him from saying anything he would regret later. this wasn’t how he thought jaemin would handle things.
“why can’t she just answer?!” jaemin exclaimed. the more she delayed her answer the more anger rose in him. her lips quivered seeing a jaemin she had never seen. he had never talked to her like that, with so much hartred.
“he’s just a friend! that’s all! why are you asking me that!” she answered, her voice a notch higher as she felt attacked. the way he talked to her made her feel defensive. she had never felt attacked by him and she was scared, she didn’t know what happened, why he was acting like that. but no matter how naive she was she wasn’t stupid.
she heard what people said about her, she knew things reached jaemin’s ears in the past and she had done everything in her power to show him he was the only person she loved, only person she cared about. that he was her everything, her all. she had gifted him with a matching promise ring, to reassure him that she was his, always will be. she had told him not to listen to anyone, only her. she loved him, she really did. that’s why she always told him when she would be out with kyunhae, she wanted him to know that whenever he needed it she will drop him and come running to jaemin. because jaemin was her priority. she had told him about meeting him today too but jaemin had forgotten it seems.
“then why the fuck do i hear different things?” he all but screamed and y/n stood frozen on her spot, scared. he had never raised his voice at her, much less in the process of accusing her of anything.
“i swear jaem,” her voice came out in a trembled whisper as jaemin breathed heavily, “none of it is true, i swear,” she pleaded, her eyes stinging in desperation. she needed him to believe her.
“you’re lying,” he shook his head, an empty chuckle leaving his lips as he threw his head back in disbelief and anger, “you’ve been lying for who knows how long,” he muttered and y/n’s brows furrowed, offended.
“i have never lied to you,” she breathed out, before she remembered mark standing nearby. she took two quick steps towards him, taking a hold of his hand softly, “jaem, let’s talk about it in your room, okay? let’s solve this,” she pleaded as she softly pulled his hand but jaemin snatched his arm away from her.
“no,” he shook his head, “we’re gonna do it here, so you can’t lie to me anymore,” his voice rose as he pointed around him and y/n’s eyes blurred in frustration and hurt. how could he be like this.
“jaem what has gotten into you?” she asked, voice a tremble as the first tears threatened to spill, “please, i don’t want to lose you, let’s calm down and talk about this,” she pleaded again.
“if you didn’t want to lose me you should’ve thought about it before you cheated on me!”
y/n felt her heart break at his words, she felt like he had pushed her off of a building, she felt like the ground was snatched from under her feet and she was left falling into the void. the emotion swam in her expression.
“what’s going on?”
mark’s head snapped towards renjun and haechan’s figures as they stepped out of their rooms and into the living room, eyes widened in alarm shifting from y/n to jaemin and then to mark.
mark shook his head. the three looked at y/n, her emotions set on her face and they knew right away they had the whole situation wrong. jaemin had it wrong.
she didn’t look alarmed, caught in the act or guilty, she looked down right betrayed, hurt, and deceived.
“i did nothing of the sort, jaemin,” her voice came out offended, disbelief swimming in her tone.
“jaem,” haechan walked in front of his friend, partially blocking y/n’s view, “that’s enough, calm down,” he muttered lowly, only jaemin hearing him. jaemin shook his head as he pushed haechan away softly.
“no, i need to know why,” he insisted, “why would you do that to me? why not just tell me?” he asked again.
“i didn’t do anything! i understand you heard it somewhere but hell, jaemin, at least ask me before you assume the worst!” she exclaimed her arms raising and dropping by her sides.
“and you’re still fucking lying to me!” he raised his voice again in exasperation.
“i have no reason to lie to you! why are you saying all this to me? how could i ever do that to you, jaem?” her voice grew quiet at the end, just the thought of his implications finally sending the tears tumbling down her cheeks. jaemin scoffed.
“exactly, how could you do that to me?! all i ever did was treat you with care, i always put you first!” he countered again, the vein in his neck popping.
“jaem, you’re not listening to me, please, just listen to me,” she pleaded a sob escaping her lips as she stepped closer t him, her hands grasping his cheeks in desperation for him to look at her eyes, to believe her, “i love you, i would never ever do anything like that, please trust me, let them all be, just trust me.”
but jaemin took a hold of her hands and let them fall in between them.
“what if it’s someone close to me that told me,” he scoffed stepping away.
“jaemin don’t,” renjun interfered, standing in front of y/n, blocking her completely from jaemin’s eyes.
“just go home y/n,” jaemin shook his head as his fingers ran trough his hair and he turned away.
“yah, you’re exaggerating,” mark called him out and jaemin threw him a glance.
“then why bring me here? why do this in front of everyone when you could’ve done that when you met me, why this whole thing?” she asked quietly. she didn’t know what she felt, she didn’t know who this person in front of her even was.
she understood jaemin, she really did. hearing so many things from so many people must’ve played with his head, she understood it. but fucking hell she wished he had talked to her about it, about all of it. she wished he didn’t lash out on her, she wished he had just remembered who she was and how much she loved him. she was a person too, wasn’t she? she could get hurt too, right?
when jaemin didn’t answer she hurriedly turned around, making her way to the door. she fleetingly saw the youngest two silently standing in front of their door at the commotion but she paid no mind to that. all she wanted was to go away. y/n felt so lost, so betrayed; why didn’t he believe her? why didn’t he just askher?
“y/n wait-” haechan tried to call back the girl but she was already out of the door, quickly walking to the elevator and pressing repeatedly on the button.
“fucking hell jaem, is this how you planned to handle it? really?” renjun scolded the black haired guy. jaemin sat on the couch, head in his hands and eyes brimming with tears. suspiciously all their phones dinged one after the other. chenle and jisung looking at each other in confusion as they were the only ones to notice.
mark ran out of the apartment slowly coming to a stop in beside of y/n. she kept her head down, tears dripping on the floor from the tip of her nose as she sniffled.
“y/n,” mark took a hold of her elbow, “wait for a second, you can’t leave alone. it’s late, I’ll take you home, hmm?” he tried to persuade her softly, careful not to be too loud. but she shook her head.
“thank you, but i need to be alone,” she whispered, her shoulder shaking as she took in a harsh breath. mark’s eyes softened.
“let me call you an uber, at least?” he offered again, hand caressing her hair in affection but she shook her head again.
“I’ll be okay,” she muttered as the doors to the elevator dinged and opened. y/n took a step forward before coming to a stop when another pair of shoes came into her view, she stepped aside muttering a sorry.
“oh, y/n..?” jeno’s voice was surprised, his phone held on his hand and his eyes wide. he looked at mark, who held the most disappointed look on his face, brows furrowed. jeno looked back at y/n in confusion.
she looked up at his voice and the sight of her wet cheeks, red nose and swollen eyes sent an alarm to jeno. his eyes widened as he stammered.
“fuck, y/n, I’m so sorry- i didn’t know-” jeno was at a loss of words as realization dawned on y/n and she smiled bitterly.
“it’s okay,” she simply said as she walked into the elevator and waited for the doors to close.
-
jaemin looked up as mark and jeno walked into the apartment, just at the same time as jisung and chenle stumbled out of their rooms, phone grasping in their hands.
“hyung, you gotta see this,” chenle shoved his phone into jaemin’s face. the latter took in a deep breath, taking the phone from the younger.
“jaem,” jeno muttered, eyes remorseful, “i’m so sorry,” he solemnly muttered out, and jaemin furrowed his brows in confusion before looking at the screen of chenle’s phone.
under the instagram picture, written in bold letters, the words “SHE SAID YES” and the small line underneath “thank you y/n for helping me make it even more memorable” were mocking him. and as jaemin ran his fingers through his hair for the nth time that evening and gripped his roots in a vice like grip, his eyes scanned the picture. the picture of kyunhee and who he assumed was his fiancé now. jaemin felt like the biggest idiot in the planet.
-
so as y/n helped kyunhee with the preparations of his engagement party with the biggest smile she could muster up, the happiness she painted on didn’t quite reach her eyes. jaemin had tried again and again to contact her but y/n made it a point to ignore all his texts and all his calls, only using her phone when extremely needed.
she helped her dear friend through the whole process, never missing a beat to tell him and the lucky girl how proud she was of them both.
kyunhee felt guilty taking her help, so much so that y/n had screamed at him to not give her the pity look. she had explained that she needed the distraction and after much thought he let her handle whatever she wanted.
he told himself if he ever came face to face with jaemin he would’ve made him taste his fist, but he knew they would resolve their misunderstanding. of course they would, they loved each other infinitly after all.
y/n was surprised when two days after the break up her mother came knocking on her door. at first she had thought jaemin had called her and as soon as she was about to send her mother away, the older woman had told, “i knew something wasn’t right, i could feel it.” and so y/n had her dearest mother at her apartment, making sure she got the energy she needed and she ate well.
jaemin on the other hand was lost. completely lost. he beat himself up for how he had talked to y/n, he scolded himself for not having talked it out. he regretted not listening to her when she was asking for him to listen.
he tried calling her a thousand times. he tried texting her from the boys’ phones and every time he would let a dry laugh out when she would reply “tell jaem i don’t want to speak.” he knew his girl knew him too well and he felt worse every time because how did he let go of her? what an idiot.
so it was with a heavy heart and jaw clenched in embarrassment that jaemin was standing in front of a building, waiting for the one he misunderstood. truth be told, he was nervous, for what he still didn’t know but he had a hunch.
“jaemin,” a voice pulled him out of his thoughts and jaemin turned to his right to come face to face with a poker face kyunhee. he cleared his voice, holding out his hand for a handshake.
“hey, i hope i didn’t mess up your schedule, i can only imagine how busy you are,” jaemin smiled a tight lipped smile. kyunhee stared at him for a second before deciding to be cooperative for y/n’s sake. he grasped jaemin’s hand and gave it a firm shake before letting go.
“you technically did,” he sighed, jaemin’s brows furrowed, a confused sound leaving his lips, “mess up my schedule. i had an appointment i had to cancel,” kyunhee said, arms crossing over his chest. jaemin blinked for a few seconds before muttering a soft sorry in embarrassment. silence fell upon the two guys. kyunhee’s eyes stayed put on jaemin’s wavering ones. he could practically see the wheels turning in the black haired guy.
“what the hell are you guys doing?” kyunhee sighed then. jaemin’s eyes snapped on him, eyes wide in alarm.
“i-i’m very sorry for misunderstanding your intentions. i really am,” jaemin blabbed, kyunhee rolled his eyes.
“why are you apologizing to me when the person you should apologize to is somewhere else?” kyunhee asked as a matter of fact.
“she doesn’t want to talk to me,” jaemin whispered, eyes looking away and jaw clenching. kyunhee scoffed catching jaemin’s attention again.
“yeah no shit she doesn’t,” the newly engaged one spat out and jaemin let out a humorless snicker, head nodding.
“you acted like a total dick to her, i don’t even know how she hasn’t blocked you yet,” kyunhee shot again and jaemin listened, for he knew he deserved it. the former’s eyes softened for a second at jaemin’s obvious miserable eyes, before hardening again.
“oi, dickhead,” he called jaemin, foot kicking at his shin, jaemin ducked to hold his shin out of instinct, eyes snapping up in despair.
“oi! what was that for?” he called.
“i won’t tell you to go to her place and beg for forgiveness, because quite frankly, that’s not going to work,” kyunhee deadpanned and jaemin nodded, hanging to his every word.
“give her time, jaemin, she’s hurt,” he continued.
jaemin stared at the floor at his feet as he thought. guilt enveloping him in its arms as usual these days. he took a deep breath again and looked up at his girlfriend’s friend, he offered a small smile.
“thank you, really,” jaemin muttered, genuine gratefulness in his voice, “for holding her up, i know it should’ve been me but i’m glad she has a friend like you, i’m really sorry again.”
“it’s okay, don’t worry about it. just think about what kind of pose you need to hold when you’re begging on your knees for her forgiveness,” kyunhee bit back in a lighter tone, feeling weird about all the formality. jaemin snorted the real smile in a while, grateful kyunhee got rid of the heavy serious air around them.
“congratulations on your engagement, by the way,” jaemin clapped the side of kyunhee’s arm and the latter thanked him, before a thought hit him and his eyes squinted as he looked at jaemin.
“uhhh why are you looking at me like that?” the black haired one asked, an unsure tone to his voice.
“you know what? why don’t you…”
-
“the place looks so pretty!” y/n turned to her mother with a proud smile as the older woman looked around the engagement party venue with sparkling eyes, “you did a great job, love,” she turned to y/n and lovingly caressed her face.
“thank you, mom,” y/n giggled, her hand grasping her mom’s as they made their way through the crowd.
the venue was decorated in hues of white and lilacs, the stage at the front of it was decorated with fresh flowers and thin branches giving it a very fresh look.
her eyes lit up when she saw her dear friend and his fiancé in the distance.
“let’s go say hi to kyunhee,” she told her mother as they made their way towards the couple.
-
it was thirty minutes later, when y/n was enjoying her time with a few friends and their families that the murmurs started.
at first y/n didn’t pay any attention to it because who cares if a handsome guy was at the party, she was already taken. well. not anymore, but that didn’t change the fact that her heart lay where jaemin was.
so imagine her surprise when she turned around to look around the place and her eyes fell on none other than the handsome guy everyone was talking about. na jaemin.
as soon as their eyes met y/n’s head snapped towards kyunhee a few meters away, talking to another guest, and the piece of shit had the audacity to smile at her and throw a wink before returning his eyes to the guest.
jaemin slowly came to a stop beside her, back as straight as a wooden plank, shoulders tense. he threw a tight lipped smile around the few people surrounding him as he greeted them.
“jaemin dear?” y/n’s mother’s eyes sparked up in adoration and y/n smiled softly at the scene as her mom engulfed a chuckling jaemin in her arms, hands grasping his face softly as she gushed over him.
“how long it has been, love, how are you?” she asked and jaemin chuckled before patting her back and stood back up straight to look at her.
“too long, sorry i couldn’t come to say hi sooner, i was stuck with all the assignments i pushed back,” he apologized, ever the gentleman and y/n’s eyes stung a bit as she blinked.
“ahh you study so well, but don’t neglect your health,” she smiled again as she hugged him tighter and jaemin nodded hugging her back. what he didn’t expect was the words the older woman whispered in his ear as she pulled away.
“make things right, love, fight for each other,” and she gave him the most loving smile as she said something about enjoying the evening and walked to a group of ladies.
jaemin’s eyes fell on y/n and she looked away as jaemin stepped up beside her as she pulled away from the small group, saying something about getting a glass of prosecco.
she threw him a side glance as she stopped at the table.
“why are you following me,” at the sound of her voice jaemin let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. his hand twitched to hold hers.
“i wanted some prosecco,” he muttered and a small smile pulled at his lips when she blushed in embarrassment before nodding and moving away with the glass in her hand, jaemin doing the same. the two stood at the side in silence.
“y/n,” jaemin called after a while and y/n hummed, her eyes trained to the live band, “i’m very sorry,” he whispered. y/n stopped in the middle of taking a sip before detaching the glass from her lips.
“i don’t want to talk about it, jaem,” she muttered before taking the sip, finishing the content in the flute all in one go. jaemin’s hand rested against the back of her waist in reflex.
“slow, you’re gonna get dizzy,” he muttered and y/n could hear the worry in his tone, and she hated it because how could he sound like that after all he had said.
there were a few things that put jaemin’s worry at rest. that assured him that y/n was still is girl. he felt a small smile tug at his lips when she called him by his nickname, when she didn’t push away his hand on her waist, his chest puffed out, and when she nodded at his words of worry he felt himself relax a bit.
“you’re beautiful,” he muttered loud enough for only y/n to hear as he took a sip of his prosecco, eyes set on her as she turned around with narrowed eyes, only to blush like crazy when her eyes met his. jaemin’s eyes held an intimacy she couldn’t hold right now. he let out a deep chuckle when her chest and neck set up in flames.
they stood there side by side as they watched the many couples dancing. jaemin’s eyes would settle on her every few seconds, so much so that she could feel it every time.
“what are you two doing?” y/n’s mother’s voice made the couple’s head snap to the side. y/n made sure a soft smile settled on her lips as her mother’s friends followed her.
“who’s this, y/n?” one of them asked, curious eyes settled onto jaemin, the latter giving a polite smile and a bow as he muttered his hellos. before y/n could answer, her mother chimed in.
“oh! this is jaemin, i told you about him! he’s my daughter’s boyfriend, such a gem, let me tell you. sweetest boy i ever met,” she gushed, and y/n’s panic stricken eyes met jaemin’s smiling ones. her eyes narrowed at his pleased look.
“oh my, he’s so gorgeous! you’re absolutely stunning, dear!” one of the women smiled as she caressed his cheek and jaemin chuckled, muttering a thank you.
“well, what are you two doing here? go for a dance!” y/n’s mother ushered as she pushed them to the clearing, where other couples were dancing.
y/n made to protest and push back but her words got swallowed up by the encouraging giggling of the older women as they stumbled upon the floor.
y/n looked at jaemin as he settled his prosecco flute on the tray of a passing waiter.
a few minutes later the two found themselves slowly swaying to the music. one of y/n’s hands in jaemin’s as his other hand rested against the middle of her back. his thumb brushed slowly in a comforting manner, so much so that y/n found herself stopping from leaning her head on his shoulder out of instict.
jaemin’s eyes stayed on her features as hers looked anywhere but him. his heart hurt that she didn’t want to even look at him, but he also understood. he had hurt her deeply, after all.
“y/n,” he called, voice loud enough only for her to hear. she hummed in acknowledgment, “look at me,” he tapped his thumb against her back and she reluctantly looked up at him.
“i’m sorry,” he squeezed her hand, and she remained silent. she didn’t know what to say. what do you say to sorry when you can’t say it’s okay? do you ignore it? do you say i heard you? do you just nod? what do you do?
people say sorry and expect everything to be fine, they say sorry when they know the answer is going to be it’s okay. but, to y/n it wasn’t okay, it couldn’t be okay. she didn’t know if it would be anytime soon or anything. all she knew was that she was hurt, extremely hurt. so she couldn’t say it’s okay.
she loved jaemin tremendously. so much so it was scary. she loved him so much her chest hurt sometimes, her lungs felt like giving out and her heart felt like squeezing the life out of it. it was painful how much she actually loved him. she felt like crying if she didn’t ignore how much she actually loved him.
not because it was unhealthy, but because she knew she would give it all up for him. she couldn’t dwell too much on the love she harbored for him, she just had to live with the knowledge that she loved him a lot. she knew if she tried to think about how much she loved him she would cry so much it would worry him. and she didn’t know how she could ever explain that.
because how do you explain to someone you love them so much you want to cry because your heart hurts, it hurts so much because even your heart is too small to contain that much love. because you love everything about them, all of it. and you know how cheesy it is when people list out all the reasons why they love someone but your love is different; you can’t pin point what exactly you love, you can’t pin point what makes you happy about them, and you can’t bring yourself to just find one physical attribute you love about them because that would be a lie, because that’s not why you love them, and you can’t say personality because as much as that’s the closest thing as to why you love them, it’s not quite there yet.
you just love them. the essence of what and who they are, with all their flaws and imperfections and all things perfect, it’s just them entirely. it’s their ability to smile when they’re hurting, it’s the way they make mistakes and they learn, the way they just are. and you can’t explain it so you just accept it that when someone asks why you love them you’ll just have to say a measly i love everything about them, and as cute as that sounds it’s so basic and so underwhelming to what you actually feel but that’s all that you’re able to say.
so y/n stared at jaemin’s eyes and her eyes stung and moistened up because she could feel her heart hurting, because she let herself actually feel how much she loved him. yes, he hurt her. yes, she was in pain. but the pain she felt from loving him was so much greater and so much more overwhelming.
jaemin was quick to softly push his hand on her back and encourage her to rest her head on his shoulder, knowing how much she hated crying in public. she gladly took the support, resting her forehead on his shoulder. he hushed her as his lips pressed against her hair.
“you hurt me,” she said, and jaemin rested her hand clasped in his on his other shoulder, fingers squeezing hers, arm tightening around her back.
“i know, i’m so sorry, really, i’m so sorry, princess,” he muttered, lips pressed to her hair.
“i felt like i lost everything,” she started, voice trembling as she forced herself to not cry, “everything we build up, everything we went through, i felt like i lost all of it. i tried to care so much for you, i tried to show you how much i loved so hard, but i-” her voice choked, “-i felt like i lost it all, and you wouldn’t even listen to me. i was so alone, i felt so alone,” she continued, and jaemin’s eyes stung as he listened to her, because that was all she needed; for him to listen to her.
he brought her hands behind his neck as he grasped her face in his hands and pulled her back to look her in the eyes. he sent her a soft smile as his thumbs caressed her cheeks.
“i’m so sorry i made you feel like that. i’m an absolute asshole,-” “yes you are,” he chuckled as she interrupted him, “i will make it up to you. i swear, i will, please accept my apologies.”
his lips downturned as she shook her head before his brows furrowed in confusion when she rested her head back on his shoulder and crossed her fingers at the back of his neck.
“make it up to me and maybe i will,” she spoke softly and jaemin smiled fondly as he rest one arm around her waist and the other rose up to caress her head lovingly, and y/n’s eyes closed at the action, a smile pulling at her lips.
“deal,” he chuckled, before he smiled teasingly, “i’m surprised you didn’t cry, you crybaby,” he teased and she mutter a fuck you.
“why would i cry,” she scoffed and jaemin laughed at her words.
after a beat of silence, “i read somewhere if you clench your butthole right when you’re about to cry it stops the waterworks, guess it works.”
and jaemin laughed loudly as she shook in his arms from her own laughter.
; dysfunctional families, angst, comfort, strangers, mention of donghyuck and johnny.
; jaemin x gender neutral reader
; 3.4k wc
The shouting is the loudest you’ve ever heard it, the sound of your father’s resentful voice pushing against the thin walls of your old home to pound in the chambers of your heart, later drowned out by your mother’s shrill screams and the crash of her favourite flower vase being thrown to the ground. You can see the blue porcelain shattered on the floor, water puddling around the shards to help the pink carnations survive only a little longer, a mirror image of the last time she had done just the same.
You stare at the smashed open earphones that lay by your feet, a product of your mother’s previous rage from when she had had enough of you ignoring her yells, now unable to block your ears from the noise just outside your room. Not even blasting the loudest songs could distract from the way you flinch as they raise their voices, battling to be the loudest, most controlling.
You curl up and throw your hands to your ears, staring into the pitch black of your room and mumbling assurances to yourself, desperate to tune out your parent’s screams. It’s a second later that your mother lets out her true frustrations, making the guilt build up in your chest like bile after overeating.
“It’s your fault I’m stuck here. I didn’t want a family. You made me unhappy.”
A choked sob leaves your lips and your ears ring, more piercing than the words of regret you overheard just a moment ago. Your father responds just as passionately, just as fired up, roaring back about how it was not his idea nor his wish to start a family. You aren’t his fault.
You need to get out.
Throwing a coat over your shoulders, not bothering to change out of your two-day-old pyjamas, you put a hand on your bedroom door knob and hesitate, listening to their curses and shouts, before forcing your room door open. The volume increases the moment you pull on the door, your heart constricting painfully tight as you will your way into the main area of your home. You can feel the headache coming on and you rush to leave as soon as you can, scurrying to the front door where your parents are too busy trying to prove each other wrong to notice their child throwing on a pair of old sneakers. A small spark lights itself up in your heart as your father glances your way. He does nothing to acknowledge or assure you but the small motion is enough.
So, you decide to make the effort.
Your lips tug up into a timid smile, hand raising up into a half-hearted wave, and you keep in the fear when your mother shoots you an angry look. “I’m going to go out for a bit.”
You inwardly scowl at the shakiness in your voice but it seems it doesn’t matter, neither of them spare you another second of their time. Your mother waves you off with a flick of her wrist and you can’t help the disappointment that overcomes you with the dismissive reaction. You hate yourself for even caring - for taking notice of how they don’t think twice about letting you out so late at night or worry about exposing you to their broken relationship - for wanting to be nurtured when even they’re at their lowest.
Ignorance seems bliss right about now.
The evening is apparent, the air still and freezing cold. The yellow street lamps are the only things providing a sense of life in the empty suburban street. The front door doesn’t fully muffle their yells and you wince at the thought of neighbours unwillingly witnessing your weak home.
Glancing to the left, you see Donghyuck’s house just a few blocks down and contemplate seeking his comfort. Not even two steps later, you backtrack immediately and begin to walk in the exact opposite direction, imagining his mother’s offer of dinner and his older brother Johnny’s invitation to join them for a game of Monopoly, it has your lungs tightening up in embarrassment. On the way to whatever’s on this side of the street, you continually argue with yourself, bouncing between feeling like a burden and knowing that Donghyuck would be nothing but happier to give you a sense of home. Though, none of your best friend’s comfort could help to drown away the shame that comes with running away, the envy of not being part of his loving family or the guilt of throwing all your problems onto someone who deserves nothing but good. Your arrival would only shatter the stable home.
You end up at a park, away from Donghyuck’s warm hugs and blissful smiles.
You’ve seen this playset in passing the few times your mother wants to invite you shopping. There are no children being pushed on the swing set so late at night, the slides and seesaw unoccupied and wet. Strange, you hadn’t noticed that it rained today. Despite the droplets that threaten to soak through your sleep pants, you step forward and make to sit in the small cubby house by the monkey bars, cramped because the space wasn’t made for anyone over the age of ten in mind.
Apparently that was the wrong move. The crunch of playground bark under your foot alerts someone already here and in turn, their movement startles you. A hooded person, tall and nimble that you hadn’t noticed before, stands up and calls out, glancing around before landing on your frozen figure.
“Hello?” His voice is deep and firm, not shaky like you know your own would be. You stare as he slowly comes closer and you feel your fingers loosen from the fists they were tightened into, fear lessening when you notice he isn’t much older than you, maybe the same age or slightly younger. Yet that air in your throat doesn’t loosen up in the slightest and you force out your next words.
“I promise,” you hiccup, sniffling, “I’m not trouble, just wanted to- uh- hang out.”
He glares.
“Alone,” you reaffirm, “I wanted to be alone.”
He loses the tension in his shoulders when he hears the tremble of your words and steps forward. You move back protectively and feel your breath catch in your throat, regretting your decision to come here rather than Donghyuck’s house. The embarrassment seems so much nicer than this threat.
“Are you… okay?” he asks.
Somehow, you feel safe instantly, his voice just as deep but holding a softness in it that you hadn’t heard anyone use when speaking in so long. Maybe it’s the desperation or the loneliness but you feel all your worries melt away immediately, wanting nothing more than to let in the stranger. It’s pathetic and you think back to all those safety videos and those ugly statistics that come up on the news often. Yet you can’t help but let yourself trust.
You swallow harshly. “I’m not.”
He nods and gives a little snicker, amused at your honesty, and comes closer. With the street lamps now able to reach him, you can finally put a face to the voice. “Are you crying?”
You nod.
He chuckles again but this time, you can see the small smirk that forms on his mouth and the sliver of straight, white teeth that shines through the slight part of his lips. Your heart pinches but you find yourself enjoying the feeling this time. He runs his fingers through his hair, knocking off the protective hood of his jumper and revealing the washed-out blue colour of his locks. Without the shade of his hoodie, his eyes are considerably more visible. They’re dark brown, almost black, but have a glimmer that’s able to shine through the hair that falls past his brows and into the empty night. His nose is tall and slim, lips thin and chapped.
You gulp and fail to hear what he said, distracted with only the movement on his lips to show he was speaking at all. You mumble an apology and ask if he can repeat himself, unknowingly wandering closer to the attractive stranger.
He sighs impatiently but looks at you with just as much kindness as before, looking to have dropped any fear as well. “If you’re here to hang out, want to hang out with me?”
It’s weird and very suspicious of an invitation but the slight purse of his lips and expectant raise of his brows are terribly convincing. You give in to the offer and nod again, not feeling the need to speak and watching him drop on the ground right there.
“Well?” he murmurs, looking up at you from where he sits criss-cross applesauce, “are you going to join me?”
“Right,” you cough, rubbing your eyes red and shaking off the strange feeling of security that comes with settling by his side.
“I’m Jaemin,” he introduces, raspy and slow.
“I’m Y/n,” you give back.
“Y/n,” he lilts your name, dragging out the last letter with an ending hum, “pretty.”
“Thanks.” You hope it’s dark enough to hide the shy smile that works itself on to your lips.
His hands, veiny and strong, pick up a piece of bark and toss it away, toward the footpath behind you. Not looking away from where he picks for another piece worthy enough to be thrown, Jaemin regards you in a hushed, thoughtful tone, “what are you wandering into a park late at night for?”
You stare down at the empty patch he’s created and offer a tight laugh, “I could ask you the same.”
“Yes,” he nods slowly, calm, and looks up at you with a teasing smile, not breaking his strong gaze even when you turn away, “but I asked you first. Shoot.”
“Oddly demanding of you.”
Jaemin flings another bit of damp wood over your shoulder, dangerously close to scratching your cheek, and falls back on his hands, scoffing. The bark is sure to be digging into his palms painfully. “It’s good to get it out.”
You glare, challenging, before scowling at his know it all attitude and dropping your head to face the ground. “How do you even know it’s something I’d need to vent?”
He laughs with a humoured shake of his head, loud and genuine. “You were crying just a second ago.”
“True.” It isn’t like you know Jaemin properly, you won’t see him every day after this and be able to feel shame or regret – like a diary page you’ll chuck out the next day, tangible evidence gone.
You tuck your knees into your chest, circling your arms around your legs to lace your fingers together at the front, holding your own hands tight. You bite your bottom lip harshly, not worried about your skin potentially splitting under your teeth, and feel your eyes dart from his own patient gaze to the swing set to the empty road.
“Whenever you want,” he whispers, knowing you’ve given up on arguing.
Dropping your forehead on the steadiness of your knees, effectively balling up, you try not to worry about whether or not Jaemin’s judging you and begin speaking. “Parents don’t want to be with each other. They regret having me- forced to stay together for a child they didn’t want. They love screaming about it every chance they get.”
“Yikes,” he hisses, unsure how to respond, “sorry you have to go through that.”
You dismiss him with a shrug, so used to being nonchalant about the topic with Donghyuck or worried friends who catch sight of your parents arguing in the car. Jaemin’s response is nothing different from the default that you’ve always been met with, a fake pinch of pity in their eyebrows. “It’s whatever.”
He pouts, clearly not agreeing, but doesn’t bother to scold you on your act of apathy. “For what it’s worth,” he begins, stopping all motion of his hand to show a careful grin, “I like having you around.”
“Thanks,” you smile playfully, not taking the comment to heart but enjoying the good hearted change of pace, rocking back and forth as he laughs along. “Just sucks to know I’m here out of necessity rather than love. Doesn’t really feel like my existence has worth.”
“Right,” he agrees, breathless. You don’t think he really understands but the way he goes along with it, listening without argument or a rush to correct your dejected feelings, it’s nice. It’s more polite than anything else you’ve ever been told and you can’t find yourself appreciating it more. “Some people just aren’t ready to be parents and don’t know it until it’s too late.”
“Correct,” you applaud quietly, “but that’s not what I mean.”
Jaemin tilts his head in confusion and goes to apologise but you cut him off, not wanting him to feel bad for not understanding, “it’s more so that being parents- my parents- is what’s keeping them from happiness. I’m holding them back or whatever.”
His head bobs up and down slowly, fully processing your words before settling into an understanding frown. “That sucks,” he mumbles, looking at you with sorrowful eyes. You refrain from balling yourself up anymore, his gaze reminding you of Donghyuck’s pitying smile and hesitant looks. Though, you feel yourself lighten up a little with his next words, “I’m proud of you… for enduring that every day and still having a sense of worth- no matter how much it may have weakened. You’ll be able to get out of that situation one day, the future is your oyster.”
It sounds genuine and your brain racks at the sentiment of being listened to properly.
You smile, small and flattered, in place of verbal gratitude and turn away, tired of his twinkling eyes. “I don’t think that’s the saying.“
“It works, doesn’t it?” Jaemin grumbles, kicking at your foot.
“I suppose so.” You click your tongue and kick at the little heart he’s drawn into the now exposed soil. He glowers and slaps at your shoe, mumbling about how ungrateful and mean you are before sighing, giving up on drawing any more. “Now,” you begin, tilting your head to rest your cheek on your knee, “why are you here?”
Jaemin huffs, upset it was already his turn to share his sob story. “Would you believe me if I told you that I’m just here for some fresh air?”
“Not a chance,” you grumble, giving a half smile before sighing yourself, “I know a miserable loser when I see one. You’re one of me.”
“Miserable loser?” he repeats with wide eyes, offended and disbelieving.
“Alright,” you loosen up, apologising with a simper, “that was an exaggeration.”
“I’m…” he stutters, hesitating a little. He meets your eyes and you offer a wide grin, cheesy and light hearted, and laughs. “I’m here for the same reason as you.”
"Tomato pasta?” you cut him off, joking. Hopeful that it’ll ease the tension in his shoulders.
It seems to work, his brows furrowed in confusion and lips parting in slight amusement, pupils darting around to study your face for some kind of explanation. “What?”
"That’s why they fought,” you giggle, finding it stupid now that you’re finally out of the situation itself, “dad asked for fried rice today but mum said she’s been craving pasta.”
“That…” he spaces off yet again, completely lost. The thoughtful pout of his lips is adorable and you find yourself inwardly cooing, feeling light. “That’s a weird thing to have a such a big fight about.”
"I agree,” you nod, toes dancing in a fiddle, “crazy how angry you can get when you hate someone.” You decide against explaining the escalation of the argument, letting Jaemin create his own story in his own head. “Anyway, you were saying?”
“Right,” he clears his throat, “here for the same reason as you. Can’t stand my parents.” There’s slight hesitation to his words, the way he rubs at the back of his neck and the guilt that shows in the way he smiles but won’t look you in the eye. He glances in your direction once before darting away the moment he meets your analysing eyes, wondering. It’s wimpish when he mutters, “hate how in love they are.”
The words leave his lips and you freeze, frowning ever so slightly and allowing your eyes to drift away from his apologetic stare, self conscious. “Way to rub it in,” you mumble. You feel your body lean away from his, suddenly insecure and regretful about what you’d just shared.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, licking his lips with a harsh breath, pushing out an open hand to rest on yours before pulling back when you flinch, reminded you had only just met. “It’s more than that, I swear.”
“What?” you scoff, hurt, “you can hear them having sex at night?” You let out a laugh but Jaemin finds it isn’t at all pleasurable to listen to this time.
“No,” he sighs, head falling in his hands. He looks up and sees you observing the empty road, unable to look at him but too tense to get up and leave. He gives up and gets it out, hoping you’ll understand if he gives you the context all at once, even if you’ve already decided you hate his privilege. “My stepdad. I hate him.”
A second father. Your eyes drift down to your feet and you ask him a question, it’s only to reassure yourself but he doesn’t mind, understands the curiosity. “Is he a jerk?”
“No,” Jaemin chuckles painfully, watching your frown reappear, distasteful, “he’s an alright guy if I let him be.”
“Then why-” you choke, punching at the ground and feeling the bark dig into your knuckles, the pain distracting you from your outburst for a small moment.
He doesn’t let you finish, desperate to clear the air and have you see the full picture. Wanting your approval and not for his sob story to be pitied but for you to be on the same page, he values your perspective of him already. “My stepdad’s a homewrecker,” Jaemin blurts, holding his breath and watching as you let your guard down, angry scowl fading into a look of realisation. You dart your head up, wide-eyed and rushing to apologise, but he sighs in relief, waving you off with an understanding smile.
You don’t look any less regretful as he continues to explain himself but Jaemin finds it sweet, not at all offended by your previous attitude. “I don’t like seeing my parents happy together. My mum doesn’t deserve it,” he hisses at the blunt words and laughs at himself, digging a hand in his hair, “I wouldn’t mind her moving on and finding love but she found him when she was still with my dad- pursued that relationship behind our backs.”
“Jaemin,” you struggle to find the words, “that sounds like such a hard situation.” He nods in confirmation and you purse your lips at the pained smile that comes with it.
He stares down at the ground, unsure why he can’t look you in the eye but loving the feeling of a weight being lifted off of his shoulders, his feelings finally being let out into the open. “I don’t know whether or not to hate my mum for breaking up our family. I think she already hates herself for it- she’s never talked to me about it… I don’t even know if she knows I know- but she has to settle or else she’s alone.”
“Whatever you feel,” you say slowly, carefully, “is complicated but valid. It’s understandable.” It’s a shit response, sounds like a script but it’s the best you can do with how unprepared you are. Jaemin a lot better at this than you seem to be.
“Thanks,” he whispers back, finally looking up at you.
You meet eyes, lips parted and breathing steady, neither of you making a sound but giving the other words of thanks with your steady gazes. Both of you are grateful. The way he stares, silent and caring, makes you wonder if you’d prefer to see him more after this, if having him in your tomorrow would be good for you, if he’s thinking the same. But for now you just sigh, delighted you can look at him in this moment and feel some sense of normalcy, feel understood, lost.
“You’ll be out of there soon,” you chuckle, blinking slowly. With a hushed tone, you reach for Jaemin’s hand and remind him, “the future is your oyster.”
becausejaemin is selfish and too aware for his own good - he takes and takes and drowns you in kisses so full of a love he knows he’ll never be able to reciprocate. he smiles back like your heart isn’t begging for an ounce of genuine love in return. a love he knows you deserve.
jaemin wonders if he does love you. perhaps not in the way you need, with open arms and a vulnerability he’s never had, but with gratefulness. he appreciates that with the inevitability of hurt on the horizon, you still give and give and give and allow him to take with everything you have because it’s all you feel like you need.
“just kiss me,” you plead. jaemin allows it to happen, lets you blind yourself with the touch of his lips.
pairing : fratboy!jaemin x sororitygirl!reader warnings : drinking, mentions of drugs, a bit suggestive (but pls note that this isn’t smut), cursing, mentions of divorce genre : fluff, angst, college!au word count : 2.5k
summary : inspired by chloe x halle - busy boy. basically playing around with the local campus playboy, na jaemin for months is not the best thing, not the worst thing either.
—————————————————————————————————— You face yourself in the bathroom mirror, hands gripping the white sink. You saw him, right there. Dancing in the middle of the frat house’s living room with a girl in his arms. Na Jaemin, the boy you’ve been talking with for 3 months now, who recently just texted you “are you up?” on 9.15, and when you replied to him that you’re actually at his frat house, attending the party that Jaehyun hosts, he just texted you back one hour later by saying he’s with his family.
You’re malfunctioning right now, still dazed, don’t know whether it’s because of the alcohol, the weed Lucas gave you, or it’s just you- believing his cheap lies. Cause when you think about it, who the fuck leaves the campus, go home and spend time with family in finals month? Yeah, you’re the one who’s dumb here, actually believing his lies. But who blames you for believing in the first place, anyway? You and your sorority sisters have arrived here since 8.30 anyway, an hour and half is long enough to get you lightheaded from the shots you take.
You glanced at your watch, it’s only 11.28 pm. About an hour since you read his text, and practically 34 minutes after you literally saw him. Facepalming yourself, you close the toilet seat and sit above it. It’s not even right in the middle of the night, but it has been a wild ride for you. It’s kinda frustrating when you are the one who actually started this game, you knew Jaemin is hell of a playboy on campus, yet you decided to get some taste of it just because he’s being a real gentleman with sweet words to you. Yeri was actually furious when she saw Jaemin dropped you off at the sorority house a few weeks ago, she warned you that you should dump him before you’re too attached, but you won’t listen. There it is, the fruit of not listening to Yeri’s 40 minutes lecture of how you should avoid men like Jaemin, Lucas, Yuta, Ten, Johnny and Jaehyun in your love life, big disappointment.
Finally catching your breath, you decided that it is time you get back outside, and actually do something about it, rather than being all somber and gloomy. Jaehyun threw a goddamn frat party in the middle of finals month to relax the fellow students’ mind, not for you to dwell on your sadness, in the bathroom. It’s embarrassing. And a disgrace for your sorority.
You head out, spotting Lucas who’s leaning by the counter with Hendery and Jungwoo. They’re probably hitting more blunt and having some existential crisis over a potato chip wrapping. You continue to scan across the house, only to catch a sight of Joy busy making out with Sungjae on the couch. Or Yeri, who’s currently twerking to Doja Cat’s song, totally shitfaced. You sighed, your friends are either high, shitfaced, or sucking a boy’s face out. You really wanna continue your search for your other sisters, but then suddenly a light brown haired boy appears in front of you.
“Hey, y/n, you alright? You look like you’ve been through 4 divorces.” he asks as he stares at you, raising his eyebrows.
“Yeah, I just went through a fucking divorce. With your homeboy.” you answer him absentmindedly, pointing to the black haired boy who is wearing a black-white patterned wool sweater and a red shirt underneath, along with his slate-grey suit pants and a silver necklace. The boy in the topic is currently talking with the girl you saw earlier, being all smiley and shit.
Mark just laughs lightly as he sips his beer, “Oh him? Yeah he’s quite a busy boy. Probably went through countless divorces with half of the campus.” you chuckle at him, he knows what you’re talking about. All these girls never even had a proper official relationship with Jaemin, including you, but always ended up getting a nasty ass divorce without any reason. You know that, but you did not expect that you’d hang on up until now.
“You wanna do something about it?” Mark asks, nudging your elbow. He’s in a helpful mood now, probably because he is still not completely shitfaced or high. You glance at him, giving him a questioned look.
“Well.. I mean I would do it, but what? Kissing you in front of him so that he’ll get jealous? No, Mark. You know that his head is made out of a fucking rock, right?” You answer him, seizing his beer and take a big ass gulp.
“Hey, that’s my beer- What? Kiss you? Gross, dude. If you are looking for that guy, might as well run to Lucas or Jungwoo.” he lifts his eyebrows, slightly engrossed. You laugh at him, he’s a funny guy when he reacts to your silly jokes.
“Do I look like I wanna give you a kiss, Mark? No offense, but I don’t like crackly lipped boys.” you tease him, now he’s pouting and starts touching his lips, “Is it too crackly though? You have a lipbalm or something?” he asks
You continue to laugh while fishing the watermelon lipbalm out from your black leather jacket and pass it to him. He muttered a small thanks. You set the beer aside to the table then face him once more.
“Anyways, what should I do?” you eye him, who is now done applying the lipbalm.
“Drop your drink to the girl or something? Make sure he notices you dude.” he suggests, shrugging his shoulder.
“You’re dumb, Mark. It’ll cause a fucking catfight in the middle of party.” you deadpanned.
“Oh yeah, you have a point.” he swept his hair to the side, glancing at the whole party situation. That’s when you get the idea. Scratch kissing other boys in front of him, it’s probably the right time to call him the fuck out, you already have alcohol running in your system anyways, might as well go all out tonight, since everybody else also seems like already intoxicated by the liquors.
You lightly brush your hair, stretching your neck and praying to god that he’ll forgive you for what you are about to do. “Toodles, Mark. I’ll think a way when I get drunk, soon enough.” you wave him a goodbye, heading to the dining table to get a bottle of vodka, it’s half empty though, considering you’re being pessimistic tonight.
You chug the bottle with no mercy, wishing it’ll bring you straight to intoxication. You start to feel it kicking in, when you finish the last drop of the vodka. Banging the bottle to the nearby table, you make your way to Jaemin, who is currently sitting on the staircase by himself, checking his phone.
“Ooh, busy boy, aren’t you?” you ask him, not giving anymore fucks. He looks up to you, who is currently squinting at him, face reddening from the alcohol heat. He stares at you, biting his lip.
“Y/n. You’re drunk.” he says lightly as he stands up, tucking strands of your hair to the back of your ear. You squirm from his action. As much as you want to punch him in the face for playing with your emotions, you really miss his touch.
“I am not! Jaemiiiiin, why did you lie to meeeee?” you whine loudly to him on purpose, placing his hand on your face, pouting. Your plan worked, a few people turned their heads to you and Jaemin. He just sighs and snorts, smelling the strong liquor scent that slipped out of your lips. You can feel Yeri is probably trying to kill you with her glare, you know how much she hates Jaemin.
“Listen, baby, what are you trying to pull?” Jaemin whispers close to your ear. You’re not that sure whether it’s because of the loud music blasting in the whole house, or it’s just Jaemin’s voice. Whatever it is, your ears are tingling, sending funny sensations down to your spine.
Jaemin is pissed, you know it damn well from his tone, stern and strong. Oh yes, you love it so much, pissing him off, probably you’ll start humiliating him more and more in his own frat home, because that’s what he deserves for playing with you, and some other random girls.
“Don’t baby me, Jaemin! You said you were with your family, and then I saw you with some random girl!” you shout. At this point, you don’t really care about what others think of you, because they can clearly see you’re being drunk and probably will shrug it off. If that’s what it takes to call Jaemin out in a huge crowd, then you’ll take it. You have nothing to lose, anyway, they’ll agree with you, they all know Jaemin is a big flirt.
And there it is, the anger and humiliation fills Jaemin up. He pulls your wrists, practically dragging you upstairs. You liked it, don’t know why, it’s just fun, making him mad when it’s actually you, who should’ve been mad in the first place. He rushes you to get into his shared bedroom with Jeno and Renjun. Amused, you quickly sit on his bed, acting like you’re dumb.
He shuts the door behind him, crossing his arms. “What’s this all about, baby?”
You snort, “I think you know, Jaemin. You’ve been messing around me for 2 months- or what, I actually lost count because you’re such a busy boy.”
He widen his eyes, “I don’t-”
“Oh shut up, are you surprised that I actually last longer than all your pretty girls?” you stand up, you can’t contain the anger anymore.
“Listen, baby, I-”
“I said, don’t baby me when you do that to probably other 7 girls!” you shout, glaring at him, who is currently freezing on his space.
He sighs and sweeps his hair in frustration, licking his lips. “Will you listen to me first, at least?”
You roll your eyes, crossing your arms while glancing at his study desk. Nicely decorated, and you can see his family photograph neatly placed in a small frame. You noticed that he’s quite a reader too, judging from his book collection compared to Jeno and Renjun.
“First, I gotta admit, you last longer than other girls, yes. And second, it’s because I want to keep you-” he starts, taking a seat next to you,
You scoffed, “Keep me? You think I’m some kind of puppy that follows you around, Jaemin? You’re being such a dick right now! Do you think that I’m just some kind of wh-”
“Can you not interrupt me, baby? I’m talking.” he growls, placing his hand to your thigh. You can feel your cheeks heat up from his actions. Jaemin, being Jaemin, can sense that you’re actually flustered, he lightly squeeze your thigh, just to see your cheeks redden even more. God, he’s such a flirt.
“But first, I got to be honest with you, I was torn between ghosting you or continuing. That explains the lie a lot.” he clears his throat, looking into your eyes. You’re not giving him a reaction (except the fact that you’re already as red as a fucking cooked lobster from his hand placement), just like he said, don’t interrupt him.
“I mean- after all those messing around, I grow tired of it. I-I don’t even want to flirt anymore, I want to be comforted.. Those girls, those people.. They know I’m not serious and they do the same, y/n. We just kinda.. Have a good time and dipped.”
You’re still sitting in silence, eyes fixed on Jaemin, who now looks flustered. This is not Jaemin at all, he’s usually cocky, cheeky, and flirty, just exactly like a few seconds ago. He usually throws wink here and there, but now he actually looks… vulnerable.
“I was surprised you’re still holding on for like 3 months.. Those girls won’t even last for 2 days, y/n. It’ll end up me ghosting them or vice versa, no one ever had a second date with me. But you, you can’t seem to give up when I’m not replying, don’t you?” he chuckles as he looks at you softly,
You giggle at him a little, “Yes. I’m THAT dumb, Jaemin.” you admit to him. In reality, you know it, you know when he’s not replying, he’s probably with some other girls. But you are being deadass, you just don’t know what possessed you, you just keep on texting him like it’s nothing.
He rubs the back of his neck, “I was actually scared that you’ll dump me when I develop actual feelings to you.. Or worse, what if I break your heart after we have something? I mean, if I have to, I’d break it now, so the pain is not too harsh. That’s why I keep on lying to you, and maybe, not replying to your messages.”
At first, you feel bad from hearing him speak truthfully. But after he opened his mouth again, you can feel the anger slowly rising again through your veins. He is very very selfish and self-centered. Is this how he show his true color? A man with a big ego? That’s it?
You tilted your head, “Fuck you. Really. Then why did you start the conversation, Jaemin? You could’ve told me how you felt and we’re set. But I can see-”
He shakes his head, interrupting your words, “I-I told you, y/n. I’m very torn between wanting to pursue you, or letting you go. That’s why I often not replying right after I texted you. I’m sorry, I really do.”
You’re angry. You’re sad. But you’re confused that you’re a little happy too, hearing him speak from the bottom of his heart. But that’s very selfish of him, doing those acts to you. He could’ve told you what he actually feels way earlier than this, so you can make sure what are you two doing, instead of playing pointless games of ghosting and chasing around again.
“I see. You’re so fucking selfish, Jaemin. We talked for months and this is all I got? Am I not worth of your explanation from the start? I know you wouldn’t do anything if I hadn’t drag your ass in the middle of the fucking party!” you stand up, you can no longer hide your disappointment to him, tears start rolling down your face.
His heart breaks a little, watching bundle of tears fall from your eyes. He is the heartbreaker, but those girls were never crying when he ghosted them after they had fun, those girls would catch another boys and forget about Jaemin right away. This is Jaemin’s first ever experience, seeing a girl crying because of what he did.
He knows that he’s an asshole for playing fire, but now he feels like he is THE asshole. He broke your heart right on, and it breaks his heart right back.
You sigh deeply, trying to catch a breath after a few sobs. “Don’t fucking find me. Have fun with your girls.” you look at his eyes with full of anger and hate. With heavy steps, you walk to the door, thinking about things you’re about to do once you get downstairs, probably joining Lucas and the gang, stoning yourself out, so you don’t have to think about Jaemin and his stupid beautiful face.
Just when you try to reach the door knob, you can feel Jaemin is grabbing onto your hand.
“Y/n, I am truly sorry.. After what you did earlier, I realized that I’m a big fucking loser. I can’t even admit my feelings. When you call me out earlier, I just wanna dissolve into thin air. I can’t handle the shame of being such a dick, I should’ve told you what I feel instead of making uncertain decisions.”
You turn to him, seeing his eyes glimmering, probably because of the tears pooling up. You’re hurt, you want to push him away as far as possible, you want to see him suffer. Hell, you just want him to extinct. But seeing him like this, you can’t lie to your own feelings, you like him. You really do. But just like your sorority sisters taught you, yourself comes first, not those stupid silly boys who just fuck around.
“Goodbye, Jaemin.” you say to him, holding back more tears coming in.
Just when you’re getting ready to reach the doorknob for the second time, he pulls you into his arms. You want to let go of him, but he’s strong, and you- actually wanting this for so long. You hate him, but you have feelings for him. You can’t help but stay on his embrace.
And then… There it is, the feels. It comes back, the way you hide yourself from Yeri whenever you pick up his calls, or maybe the late night drive to nearby McDonalds, or maybe flirting through the notes you pass during class, or maybe the first kiss you shared with him in front of your sorority house, and ended up being scolded by Yeri and Joy.
You realized that it was a stupid crush with the stupid playboy Na Jaemin, but you enjoyed your time with him. You remembered how he likes to send you goodnight selfies, or maybe the way he pouts a lot when driving. Those 3 months of on-and-off-unofficial-relationships with him, is actually making you feel things.
“Y/n, I know I don’t deserve you, but really.. This time, I mean it. I promise, I won’t mess around. Please, I know I’ve been such a dick, but if you just give me one more chance, y/n.. But I completely understand, if you hate me, and you probably want to slam me to death, and I will allow you-”
You look up to him and grabbed his face, crashing his lips into yours. He tastes like cherry soda, with a hint of cigarettes. He seems like enjoying the kiss, he cupped your cheeks as he deepened the kiss. You can feel his hands travel around your body, only to land in your hips.
You want to trust him this time. He promised you. He meant it. He will take care of you. And you trust him, this time.
“Alright, busy boy. I do want to slam you, though… But remember, just because you’re so damn fine, I won’t even think twice to dump your ass if you act up.” you warn him.
The tears you shed just bloomed into giggles and smiles. The inconsistency between the 3 months before finally disappeared, and reborn again into a new promise.
He nods. “Believe me baby, you’re the one who wants to be slammed right now.” he teases you, glancing to his bed. You can feel your cheeks reddening again, you lightly hit him, and he laughs. He’s a cheeky boy.
“Busy boy, huh?” he giggles, “Your busy boy.”
The anger within you is released now. No more chasing around like a fool, no more getting late replies from Jaemin, no more nights of hoping that he’d reply, because he’s only busy for you now.
☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au jaemin i am once again late for his birthday but, happy birthday prince na! find others here: johnny|haechan|taeil|taeyong|mark
there’s a bright pink post-it note on your mailbox on the first day of summer. it says there’s a letter inside
you don’t understand who put it there and why
and of course there’s a letter inside, it’s your mailbox - what else should there be?
you open the letter as you’re sitting criss-cross on the edge of the lake, right in the patch of grass that’s tall enough to hide your figure when you lay down
it’s short and it isn’t signed by anyone
it just asks you to meet ‘him’ at the movie theater in town next week for the eight pm showing of some b-rate comedy film
you pop one of the strawberries you brought with you in your mouth as you try and figure out who ‘he’ is
he must know you somehow, if he doesn’t - that’s just creepy
you look at the handwriting
it’s neat, so you roll over on your stomach and make a little list to yourself
renjun? no, he’s spending this summer in paris
haechan? no, he’d never write a letter and not put his name on it
jeno? no, he’d never write a letter in the first place
jaemin? your hand hovers over the next strawberry and you rest your cheek against your palm
na jaemin? why would na jaemin ask you out to a movie date?
you only know each other through mutual friends
you’ve hung out with him once or twice
each time, barely sharing two or more words due to his popularity with just about everyone else in the room
and the fact that you weren’t much of a talker
and he wasn’t much of a listener
you shake your head, no - it’s definitely not na jaemin either.
when the day of the movie comes around, you pace around your room wondering if you should go or not
a part of your mind, logical and sound says of course not. this isn’t the 1940s who is writing letters to ask people on dates that is normal
why can’t they just send you a facebook message or a text
but the other part of your mind, curious says you have to - at least to see who this secret admirer is
you decide, at 7:45pm to throw caution to the wind - it is summer, and the movie theater will be crowded, if you need to make your escape you’ll be able to
there’s nothing to lose
you get there five minutes late and look around for anyone familiar, anyone at all
when you feel someone tap your shoulder
you turn and blink
“jaemin?”
“you got my letter!”
the movie isn’t good, you aren’t paying attention during most of it, just eating the popcorn jaemin bought and pretending you’re not sneaking peeks at him every five minutes mulling over the same thought
why did he ask me to go to the movies? does he want to be my friend? is this a date?
he turns, when the credits roll, and ask if you have to be home by a certain time
you shake your head, so he asks if you’ll come with him to the lake
you walk through the grassy patch where you’d read that letter he sent - there are some teenagers out and about, a family bbq somewhere nearby
so you two stroll till you’re at the edge of the quietest part of the lake and jaemin pulls something from his back pocket that he hands to you
it’s another letter
you start to open it and he makes a sound
in the dark summer night you don’t see his face go red
“don’t read it now-”
“why not? i want to.”
you state bluntly, pulling the folded paper from the envelope and fishing your phone out to use the flashlight
as you start to mouth the words outloud
jaemin shakes his head, turns and runs straight toward the lake
“jaemin!?”
you chase after him, stopping short of the water as he wades in till he’s hip deep
“jaemin?!?”
“it’s embarrassing, i said don’t read it now!”
“fine, fine i won’t - come out of the water!”
you and him walk down the road, his jeans sopping wet and a big smile on his face as you roll your eyes
“that was a dumb thing to do.”
“you were going to read my own letter out loud to me, what did you think i would do?”
you stop a street down from your house and suddenly, even with his wet jeans and that dumb grin on his face
you can’t help but be honest with yourself about jaemin - he’s handsome and he’s sweet
and this wasn’t weird at all
which makes it weird………..if that makes sense
“can i read it now?”
you ask and wave the letter with one hand, he says ok - in three seconds
when you want to ask what happens in three seconds, he’s already running down the block and away from you counting, 3, 2, 1 -
you sit on your bed, open the letter and read it outloud
i like you, i hope you’ll spend this summer with me. if you don’t believe that i like you, i can prove it. remember right after the fifth football game of the season, in haechan’s dorm, when he was tipsy and we had to hid when the ra came to check on us? you hide with me, under the bed. it was maybe two minutes. just us, alone, listening to haechan lie, trying not to laugh. you smelled like honey and strawberries. i wanted to kiss you under that bed, but i was scared you’d slap me and the ra would catch us. i mean actually that might not prove anything to you. but i like you. if you have nothing else to do, do you want to spend this summer with me?
you set the letter down and get up to grab your phone
you want to text jeno for jaemin’s number but you stop yourself
instead, the next morning you show up on your bike in front of his house
he’s in the yard doing some kind of chore and when he sees you he almost trips over the hose in his hand as he runs over
he’s going to say something, but you drop a letter in his hands and ride off before he can make a sound
when jaemin opens it
all it reads is
yes, i want to spend this summer with you.
and you do spend everyday of it together. sitting at the lake, trying to fish or listening to music or just watching the clouds go by
jaemin can talk for hours and usually chatty people rub you the wrong way, but his voice can almost lull you to sleep
and when it does, he pulls you into his chest and runs his fingers through your hair even though when you wake up he pretends he’s just counting passing butterflies
you visit him at his part-time job at the main street florist, where he does a lot of bouquet wrapping and flower decorating
he brings some of the unused flowers over to your room and teaches you how to weave them together or press them between the pages of your books
you see more shitty movies, you ride your bikes together, you ignore the jealous glares at the mall from other people who wish they were dating jaemin
and jaemin distracts you with silly jokes and general goofiness that you wouldn’t expect from someone so handsome
the first time he tries to kiss you, in your backyard while your parents are away
you mumble for him to stop because you’ve never done it before and he smiles and says ok
if you want him to stop, he’ll stop. he’ll wait forever if he has to.
you shake your head and explain no, it’s not that you want him to wait forever it’s that you don’t want him to be disappointed when you kiss back and sparks don’t fly or whatever it is that happens in love stories
he laughs, he says
don’t worry, the sparks fly for me when you’re just standing next to me. im sure kissing you will feel like the whole parade.
the line is corny and you push him a little, only to curl your hands around the fabric of his shirt and pull him in
his lips are soft and he mumbles again, that you smell and taste like strawberries
as the summer dwindles down you start to panic a little, because his letter had said
do you want to spend your summer with me
but now that it’s ending you are scared to ask if this will continue - or if jaemin will act like it never happened
on the last day of august, you are walking hand in hand with him from the mall and you stop and look up and jaemin waits
“are you going to leave me when fall comes?”
his smile falls a bit and his features grow serious
“no, are you going to leave me?”
“your letter just said you wanted me to spend this summer with you-”
“i meant this summer, the next, and the next, and the next - every summer. from now until forever.”
you try to hide your smile and you try again to tell him to stop being so romantic
but this time, you are the one who brought it up
you lean up and press your lips to his and jaemin whispers
“i mean it - forever.”
now, so many summers after that one - you come home and there’s a pink post it note on your mailbox
just like there is every first day of summer for the last decade
you open it and there’s a letter inside
meet me at the movies at 8pm?
you tuck the letter into your bag and trot up the stairs to your apartment, the doors open and you push through
jaemin is sitting at the tv and waves without looking when he hears the sound of the lock
you sit down beside him, his arm coming around you
“so what movie are we gonna see this year?”
“oh you know the usual, some bad comedy - but hey.”
he turns to you with the same gleaming smile he’s had since he was a young boy
[3.04 pm] you were sitting next to badboy!jaeminon the way back from school, when he suddenly took your hand in his, interlocking your fingers with his own. you took a look at him in surprise only to see him facing forward with the tiniest bit of smile framing his beautiful face and you swore you could see the softest tint of red painting his cheeks
summary:you have a crush on jaemin in your class who happens to have a part time job as a barista. based on thisprompt.
pairing:na jaemin x reader
genre:high school! au, barista! au, fluff
“So he showed up last night at my house and we did the project until 11 at night! Honestly, can you even believe we were only given a week to do our lab project and- are you even listening to me, (Y/N)?”
“Hmm, what? Yeah, yeah, of course I am,” you straightened your back to face your best friend, who had been rambling nonstop about her project partner. She had her hands on her hips and was looking at you with an accusatory face, huffing out an annoyed breath. You sent a sheepish smile to her.
“Were you staring at,” her voice dropped to a whisper, a devilish expression accompanying it, “Na Jaemin?”
“What? No – I aren’t – wasn’t. I wasn’t staring at him!” Your cheeks blushed beet red, embarrassed to be caught, your own voice dropping to a hiss, “And don’t say his name so loud, (B/F/N)!”
She laughed, lacing her fingers behind her head as her voice took a teasing tone, “You totally were!”
Na Jaemin was the student body president, star student, and most importantly, your classmate. He worked part time as a barista in a nearby café with his friends, and every girl in school practically swooned over him and his group of friends. He was sitting across the classroom, laughing at something another one of your classmates said. He was surrounded by people, and he glanced your way for a split second. The moment you made eye contact with him, you blushed fiery red and looked away, trying to look as if you weren’t staring at him.
Truth be told, you didn’t even remember when your massive crush on him started. It was just there for as long as you could remember. You both had started out at the same primary group and elementary school, with there being a limited option in your town. As you entered middle school, students started to move to different schools and other cities. By the time high school rolled in, you were the only two people left who had stuck to the same school.
He climbed up the ranks high, owing to the fact that he had heavenly good looks and intelligence. The fact that he was very social and involved helped, too. The two of you weren’t close, but he definitely knew you were there. There were times when you passed each other in the halls or when you made eye contact did he greet you, but you would always be too shy to even wave back and end up running away.
“You know, I can help you get closer to him, if you want,” your best friend poked your side. You cried out and sent her a small glare, but she clearly could see the interest that sparked in your eyes, “Oh, you’re interested~”
You snorted softly to yourself, “You’re not even close with him.”
“I may not be, but I know someone who certainly is.”
At that moment, the school bell rung. The rest of your classmates scrambled for their seats and you ruffled through your bags to pull up your textbooks. You indicated for her to turn around and face the chalkboard, seeing as her seat was right in front of yours. She rolled her eyes and did as told as the teacher walked in. You could only hope after school was going to be as eventful as promised.
“Where are you dragging me off to?” You complained to (B/F/N) as she held your hand in a death grip. She smiled that devilish grin of hers.
“I’m helping you,” she replied after a moment before coming to an abrupt stop. You bumped into her, letting out a squeak as you cradled your poor nose with your hand, “We’re here.”
The moment you looked at where you stopped in front of, your knees felt like jelly, “Oh – no, no, no. Absolutely not. I’m going home.”
“Wait!” She grappled for your hand, a whining tone to her voice, “I’m just trying to help you! Besides, I already told Jeno you would be coming!”
“Youwhat!” Your eyes widened, “You know Lee Jeno?”
She pouted, “See, if you listened to me this morning, I told you he was my lab project partner! Besides, he’s a nice guy. He’ll help you out.”
Before you could get another word in, she had opened the café doors and entered, dragging you inside. You bumped into her a second time and cradled your (most likely bruised) nose, letting out a small ‘oof’. She whirled around to face you, putting her hands on your shoulders and looking straight into your eyes.
“(Y/N), repeat after me-“ she started slowly, as if she were talking with a child, “Hi, I’d like two large frappes with whipped cream and mocha chips.”
“Huh?”
“Go!” She pushed you toward the counter. You stumbled a little, eyes landing on the figure in front of you once you regained your balance. You felt all thought leave your head, nervously gulping to soothe your suddenly dry throat.
Na Jaemin looked up from writing on an empty cup, eyes widening a little in surprise as he spotted you. A grin bloomed on his face, his hands putting the cup down. You could feel the redness creeping up your neck and cheeks while your brain packed it’s bags and left. You forced your legs to take a shaky step forward and another, hands fiddling nervously with the hem of your skirt.
“Hey, (Y/N). I didn’t expect to see you here,” Jaemin mentioned. He was already in his uniform, something that made him look five times more attractive. You nodded mutely, a squeaky sound escaping your throat, “What do you want to order?”
“U-Uh…” you stuttered, wishing the ground would swallow you whole, “I-I’d like…”
He didn’t seem at all bothered by your attitude, instead having an encouraging smile on his face, “I recommend the caramel macchiatos. They’re my personal favorite.”
You managed a weak nod, not trusting yourself to say another word without embarrassing yourself.
“How many?” You held up two shaky fingers, “Alright. Two caramel macchiatos for (Y/N).”
He took two empty cups and wrote your name on it, and you looked behind him to see Jeno working on the coffee machines while chatting amiably with your best friend. She tapped his shoulder and pointed to you, and the boy sent you an enthusiastic thumbs up.
“That’ll be nine thousand won,” he said.
You rifled through your school bag to find your wallet, pulling out a 10,000 won bill and sliding it to him. When he handed you the change, you dropped it in the tip box and left with a barely audible thank you.
You hurriedly made your way to your best friend and Jeno. You didn’t personally know the guy, but a gut feeling told you that would change soon.
“So, how did it go?” She questioned. You groaned, rubbing a hand over your face.
“Absolutely horrible. I couldn’t say a single word and ended up ordering two caramel macchiatos,” you turned to face Jeno, “You’re Jeno, right?”
“The one and only. You’re the girl (B/F/N) wouldn’t shut up about, right?” He sent you a friendly smile, “I also heard you have a little crush on my friend over there by the cashier. I can help you out if you want?”
Your cheeks flamed, “Am I that obvious?”
“To everyone else but him, I’m pretty sure you are,” your best friend offhandedly mentioned.
“Yeah, Jaemin can be too much of a blockhead at times,” Jeno sent you two a wave, “I better get started on making your caramel macchiatos. Catch you later.”
Your best friend grabbed your elbow and dragged you to an empty seat, plopping down in front of you, “It’s okay, (Y/N) - don’t look so glum. You’ll practice with Jeno and I. Besides, isn’t he a total cutie?”
You rolled your eyes, “So your whole purpose is not to help me but to get closer to your lab partner.”
“Iamhelping you! There are just some benefits along the way that I can’t deny,” she fluttered her lashes. You let out a light laugh, “We’ll start practicing as soon as our coffee’s done.”
“(Y/N), two caramel macchiatos!” Jeno called out. Your best friend sent you a wink and stood up to grab the drinks. You could only hope accepting your best friend’s help wasn’t going to turn out to be as disastrous as you think.
For the next week, your best friend had dragged you to the coffee shop every day after school. Jeno and her practically drilled the words in your mind – “Hi, I’d like two large frappes with whipped cream and mocha chips.” It was just a simple sentence, but every time they made you order, you would just clam up and end up ordering whatever Jaemin recommended that day. The boy didn’t seem at all bothered or annoyed by your odd behavior, instead sending you encouraging smiles. You could be a playful person if you wanted, but every time you even remotely looked his way, it was as if any sane thought flew out the window.
You were half-asleep by your desk, not wanting to do anything other than go back home and snuggle into your blankets. It was still relatively early in the morning, and it was only the both of you in class at the moment as the rest of your classmates hadn’t arrived yet. Your best friend, however, had other plans.
“Okay, repeat after me,“ she started, “Hi, I’d like-“
“Two large frappes with whipped cream and mocha chips,” you half-mumbled, plopping your head to your arms, “I know, I know. It’s just that I can’t say it in front of him no matter how many times I try, (B/F/N). It’s useless.”
“Come on, think of him as a normal person. Picture him as Jeno or me. I’m sure you can do it. Now I’ll pretend to be him and you’ll practice,” she cleared her throat dramatically, and you looked up to her under half-lidded eyes, cracking an amused smile at her attempt, “Hi, (Y/N)!”
“Hi, I’d like two large frappes with whipped cream and mocha chips!” You used the same enthusiastic tone Jeno and her always told you to use- to seem friendlier, they said. You were pretty sure you just sounded stupid.
“See, that’s great!” She clapped her hands in delight. Her cell phone beeped once to indicate a text, and a sneaky glance at her screen revealed the name Jenowith an excessive amount of heart and poop emojis. You raised a brow, but she snatched it before you could read the preview and stood up, sending a nervous smile your way, “I’m gonna go to the restroom. Be back in a few minutes.”
She walked out hurriedly, and you dismissed her odd behavior and rested your head on your arms for another moment in hopes of catching a few extra minutes of sleep. Not even a minute passed before the doors to the classroom swung halfway open. You straightened your back and looked to the doors, expecting to see your best friend, but widening your eyes to see Jaemin strolling in. He made eye contact with you and sent you a wave, a friendly smile on his face.
“Hi, (Y/N)!”
The words tumbled out of your lips before you could stop them, “Hi, I’d like two large frappes with whipped cream and mocha chips!”
Your jaw dropped to the floor as you slapped a hand over your mouth, a tsunami of embarrassment washing over you. You had even used that stupid enthusiastic tone. You squeezed your eyes shut, wishing so desperately you would turn invisible.
“Sure thing, but I don’t think I’m in position of taking any orders right now, (Y/N),” you peeked one eye open to see Jaemin grinning widely at you, “Besides, I know hate me, but since you ordered so early in advance, I’d even make it free.”
“Wh-who said I hated you?” You managed to squeak out, confused.
“Well, I kinda took the hint,” he said silently, “You always look away when I say hi to you in the halls, you look like you’d rather be anywhere else than in front of me when ordering your coffee, and you act so differently in front of Jeno and others than with me,” there was a tone of bitterness accompanying his last sentence.
“I-I don’t hate you,” you mumbled. You didn’t know he thought your flustered and embarrassed self in front of him was you hating him, “It’s just…”
“Just what?”
You’ve done it now. How the hell were you going to dig yourself out of this hole now? You bit your bottom lip worriedly, “I-It’s complicated.”
“Try me,” he looked at you, “We have time, right?”
“I- It’s just that, uh, maybe, I think, you’re,” you weren’t making any sense at this point, “Okay, um, here’s the deal- I don’t really know when this, um, started, but Ithinkyou’rereallykindandcuteandutterlyperfectandImayhavedevelopedamassivecrushonyou?”
You squeezed shut your eyes in horror, too afraid to see his reaction. It was silence for a moment, and you already knew his answer. You had just poured your heart out for him and he had rejected it. You stood up, already feeling the buildup of tears behind your eyes.
“I’m gonna-“ your voice cracked, and you cleared your throat, “I’ll go now.”
“No, wait, (Y/N)-“
“I understand,” you mumbled, and you hurriedly walked to the classroom doors while trying to keep your tears at bay. However, when you tried to open it, it wouldn’t budge, “What the-?”
“Here. let me try,” Jaemin reached out from behind you and tried to push the door open, only to receive the same result. You tried not to notice the fact that his frame was engulfing you or that his arms were encircling you, “Did someone lock us in?”
You let out a sigh of frustration, head drooping down to look at your shoes. You had just been rejected by your longtime crush and now you were stuck with him. Great.
“Hey, hey, (Y/N), look at me,” you felt a pair of warm hands go to your shoulders, turning you around so you faced him. One of his hands tilted your chin up so you looked directly to Jaemin’s concerned face. You didn’t realize how close he was until your foreheads were almost touching, “I haven’t even given you my part of the story yet.”
“It’s okay, I already know the answer to that,” you muttered.
“But listen to me first, okay?” His voice took a softer tone, “What if I told you that I also think you’re really kind, cute and utterly perfect and I may have developed a massive crush on you too?”
Your eyes widened. There was a small, almost playful grin on his face. Maybe you were just too caught up in trying not to embarrass yourself that you didn’t notice the ever-present smile on his face when you were around, the dusting of red across his cheeks that didn’t seem to go away if you were there and the nervous habit of licking his lips before saying something.
“Y-You like me back?” You squeaked, surprised.
“How can I not?” He let out a light laugh that made your heart warm, “You’re completely adorable, (Y/N).”
“I thought you were going to reject me,” you murmured, “Don’t you always do to the other girls who confess to you?”
“Why else do you think I reject them? I already like you, silly,” he looked into your eyes, “Can I ask you a question?”
You nodded meekly. He licked his lips nervously, “Can I kiss you?”
“I don’t think you need to ask, Na Jaemin,” you admitted. With that, he leant down and connected his lips to yours.
“Oh, are we interrupting something?” Jeno called out from the door. With a gasp, you broke the kiss and looked at him and your best friend by the now open door, toying with the classroom key in her hand.
“It seems like we were,” your best friend sent you a wink, and you rolled your eyes at her.
“Jeno, you’re in on this, too?” Jaemin asked, surprised. Jeno shrugged innocently.
“Now that we’ve established this,” she made a motion between you and Jaemin, “I just spotted this supercute guy who recently transferred here.”
“Oh come on, (B/F/N), I thought there was something between us!” Jeno whined, and your best friend stuck her tongue out at him playfully.
“That’s too bad, because there would be if only you were brave enough to ask me out.”
You felt someone’s hand entwine with yours, and you looked up to see Jaemin give an assuring smile at you.
“So how about I take you out after my shift today at the café? Consider it our first date as boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“That’d be great,” you said, and you knew your future would him would just be as amazing.
enemy!jaemin has a singular question banging around the walls of his brain, and it’s giving him a throbbing headache in the middle of class.
and the question is: what happened?
your sudden disappearance from yesterday’s basketball game is still unexplained, and his whole body is twitching to interrogate you as you sit next to him, innocently twirling your pencil in your hand. the curiosity was hurling endless possibilities at the back of his head, making him unable to focus on whatever the teacher was saying about Shakespeare.
maybe what was more mysterious was the fact that today you seem so unbothered. you had walked into class without a single mention of the game, insulted him on his outfit today per usual, and have been paying close attention to the lesson even until now.
he wants to shake your shoulders and demand you tell him what happened that afternoon, to bribe ryujin to give him some hints, to get first-hand knowledge by being there as you walked into the gymnasium. but you don’t even consider him as a friend as far as he knows, and you two aren’t close enough for him to just point out that he was paying close attention to you… as a concerned friend, of course.
maybe it’s a relief that whatever happened wasn’t devastating enough for it to bother you over the span of 24 hours. he’s happy that you seem happy, but not because he’s like obsessed or anything, but because he’s a good person who wants to see everybody in a positive mood. yeah. that’s why.
just when his mind is about to further convince himself of this reason, he feels something poking his back.
“what do you want?” he monotonously asks without turning around.
“i’m bored,” jeno complains while incessantly jabbing his best friend.
“you win one game and you’re already restless,” jaemin sighs, while subtly eyeing for any sort of reaction from you at the mention of the basketball game, but to no avail. are you really okay?
the poking finally stops as jeno rescinds his hand so he can cockily lean on it instead. “that’s right. yesterday’s game was so easy that the boredom has carried on to today.”
jaemin chuckles at the captain’s exaggeration and turns in his chair to dap him up. at this point, you would normally scoff at their ridiculousness from the side. but this time, you maintained your silence. weird. this causes jaemin’s smile to slightly falter, because for some reason he can’t explain, he actually WANTS you to tease him and make fun of him.
the cocky boy continues the conversation, “aren’t you bored from that game too?”
“why would i be?” jaemin incredulously denies. “are you implying that i wasn’t enjoying watching my boyfriend win?” but he knows jeno was right, as he really wasn’t able to focus after you had left the game. he didn’t think that jeno would be able to catch on.
“i don’t know, you just seemed a little spaced out,” jeno admits with genuine concern. “i’m sorry the game was so easy… i didn’t expect it at all. i thought they were one of the best teams in our district? i guess the good ones graduated already.”
now jaemin is feeling guilty. he should’ve been more supportive, and now his best friend was feeling sorry because of it. but before he can apologize, jeno pipes up again.
“hey,” he lightly punches jaemin’s shoulder. “how can you even be bored when you were with that cute ass girl?”
from the corner of his eye, jaemin notices how your pencil immediately stops twirling at this question.
“boys, eyes up front!” the teacher loudly calls out, causing jaemin’s body to take a swift 180 to face the board.
the class is completely silent after this, which makes jaemin cringe at the realization of how loud he was probably being. after a few more minutes of pretending to pay attention, he gets bored and decides to see if he can get anything out of you.
“how was the game?” he tries to ask casually.
you give him an annoyed glance. “eyes up front, remember?”
the sneaky boy shifts his gaze from your face to the teacher and repeats himself, “how was the game?”
you sigh and pause for several seconds, which makes jaemin wonder why you have to be so careful about answering the question. “i didn’t even go,” you confessed. “i had to leave because…”
“JAEMIN, IF I CATCH YOU TALKING ONE MORE TIME-”
both of you flinch at the teacher’s loud scolding and instantly get back to “work.” in his head, jaemin is thrashing around in frustration. he was so close, but so far. if he has to wait any longer to know just what the hell happened yesterday, he’s going to stroll into a mental institution and sign his name up.
if i ask tomorrow it’ll be too suspicious, he realizes. this is the only chance i have.
jaemin waits several more minutes (although it feels like an eternity) while closely eyeing the teacher. finally, the teacher wraps up the lesson and announces that everybody quietly work on their own.
almost immediately, he turns his head to you and asks, “so what was it you were saying?”
you stifle a laugh at how quick he was to jump on the conversation again, which makes him beam inside.
“i had to leave because something came up.”
he’s thinking about calling the nearest mental institution and seeing if they have room for him.
“oh,” he says in an intrigued tone as if this was new information. “that’s a shame.”
you nod your head without elaborating.
he wonders if there are any mental institutions within 20 miles of his house so his mom won’t miss him too much.
“did you realize you had a test tomorrow or something?” he tries to scoop an explanation from you.
“yeah, something like that.”
he wonders how many friends he can make at the psychiatric ward.
“JAEMIN, what did i say about not talking?” the teacher abruptly stands up from his desk with daggers shooting from his eyes. jaemin’s head perks up in alarm and quickly defends himself, “i wasn’t-”
“(y/n)…” the scary man continues.
(this was your turn to perk your head up)
“…don’t you dare think you’re off the hook either,” he points a threatening finger at you. you’re about to open your mouth to also defend yourself, but before you can even let out a noise, he says the d-word.
“detention both of you!”
the classroom silently watches this unfold as you sit there in absolute horror. on the flip side, jaemin barely gives a shit, as he’s almost always in the principal’s custody due to his mischievousness. if anything, he’s more worried about you—you’ve NEVER gotten disciplined by the school before.
when the teacher sits back down and the atmosphere calms down, you rub your temples in frustration. “this is all your fault,” you breathe.
“you shouldn’t have responded to me then,” jaemin bites back in a hushed tone, although he genuinely feels bad for dragging you into this.
you slump onto your desk in frustration. “i can’t believe i have to be in the same room as you for an hour.”
“look forward to it sweetie,” the annoying boy sings… although for some reason… he feels like he’s the one who’s excited for it.
Welcome to GLITCH MODE; an rpg starring none other than the nct dream members! In each mission, you will take on the role of a new character and play through the story quest to reach the end!
[MAIN MENU]: from controllers and professional gaming pc’s, to head sets and twitch subs— the boys have it all. competitive, smart and ever ready to win, they begin to realize that there’s another prize lying out in the real world for them, the prize of your heart.
[SETTINGS]: fluff, angst, gamer! au, streamer! au, various trope pairings, fluff, angst, comedy, romance, suggestive, food, profanity, etc. warnings and themes will be added with every individual fic.
[DURATION]: speedrun: 3k | playthrough: 9k
[NEW GAME]:START(latest release)
▸ | na jaemin
version:streamer! jaemin, gamer! jaemin, friends with benefits au, profanity, fluff, slight comedy, angst duration:tba closed beta test: Na Jaemin has always been player 1, the one at the top of the player chart with all the wins and everything he could possibly want. Being the best sometimes got to his head and unfortunately for you, you were the girl who was hopelessly in love with him, eager to please. It’s sad really, the fact he only ever saw you as player 2.
CLICK TO PLAY!
▸ | lee donghyuck
version: streamer! hyuck, gamer! hyuck, established relationship au, profanity, comedy, fluff, slight angst duration:tba closed beta test: Your boyfriend is sweet and considerate, always looking out for you and making sure to be there for you. You had met him in one of your college classes and although you had been with him for over two years, sometimes you wonder if he loved his PlayStation 5 more than he loved you.
CLICK TO PLAY!
▸ | lee jeno
version:gamer! jeno, streamer! jeno, enemies to lovers but also friends to lovers, profanity, fluff, comedy, angst duration:tba closed beta test: Lee Jeno is the epitome of everything you could ever hate, and the feeling is mutual. You’ve competed in almost everything against each other, determined to gain the upper hand. On a totally unrelated note, that fun streamer you’re pretty good friends with is thinking about doing a face reveal.
CLICK TO PLAY!
▸ | zhong chenle
version: gamer! chenle, streamer! chenle, friends to lovers, profanity, fluff, comedy, mutual pining, angst duration:tba closed beta test: Zhong Chenle wasn’t the type of guy to get nervous easily. He had known his worth ever since he was a little kid, so it wasn’t often that he found his palms sweating and words stumbling over each other. The only time that happened was when you were involved.
CLICK TO PLAY!
▸ | mark lee
version: gamer! mark, streamer! mark, strangers to lovers, profanity, fluff, comedy, angst duration:tba closed beta test: Mark Lee was popular, there was no doubt about that. Being one of the most relevant twitch streamers tended to do that to you in the online world as well as the offline one. That popularity led to a plethora of people falling for his sweet demeanor and pretty smile, so you knew that winning his heart would be a challenging game it itself.
CLICK TO PLAY!
▸ | huang renjun
version:gamer! renjun, streamer! renjun, exes to lovers, profanity, fluff, comedy, angst duration:tba closed beta test: You’re heard of crying in the club, now get ready for crying on your DS! There was only one person in the world who managed to get you doing that and it was none other than your darling ex-boyfriend; Huang Renjun. The world hates you though, because you end up having to compete against him in a gaming competition. Using a DS.
CLICK TO PLAY!
▸ , | park jisung
version:gamer! jisung, streamer! jisung, best friends to lovers, profanity, fluff, comedy, angst, duration:tba closed beta test: Jisung was the complete opposite of you, he liked peaceful games like animal crossing and you liked league. He liked story based games and you liked horror. Too bad that he was head over heels for you, because if there was one this both his viewers and you liked to do, it was to make him suffer.
MARK.always notices everything about you no matter how small the change is, of course he’s going to notice. “new sweater?” he realizes it looks familiar, but he can’t quite place where he’s seen it before. “mark, this is yours.” immediately just stops and looks at you in confusion; he’s sure he would’ve recognized it if it were his. “oh!” he almost yells, his face brightening up. “it’s jungwoo’s, he probably forgot it in my room.” your eyes widen, “i’ll take it off then,” but mark’s hands stop you. “i’m sure he won’t mind.” yet there’s a weird, lingering feeling in his chest
RENJUN. “renjun,” despite only having called his name, said boy is already rolling his eyes. “you’re cold, aren’t you?” you nod your head, a sheepish smile on your face. “im not giving you my sweater, i told you it was going to be cold.” “whatever, ill just ask hyuck. his hoodie looks comfortable.” grabs at your hand and pulls you back, a scowl present on his face. “you dummy! i knew you’d get cold so i brought an extra one.”
