Living in a heteronormative world is really odd to me. Like we as a society have grown up with predominantly straight couples in shows, movies, and on social media. But if a gay couple is in a movie or even an animation for any amount of time mums and dads alike are raising hell and screaming that “the lgbtq+ community is trying to corrupt their child and they’ll have none of it” so their gonna start a petition that does absolutely fuck all just to show that they are immature bigots. Like I grew up watching straight couples being plastered everywhere up until I was about 16 and look at me, alla that straight influence and I’m still gay as fuck. Like I dont understand this shit and the people that think that we as a community are trying to corrupt people while most of us spend all day shitposting and eat hot chips while avoiding social interaction of any kind.

Beproud of whoyouare

Some pride cats I did after pride month!!

I didn’t really know when to post them but I’m gay 24/7 365 so, now is the time.

Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram!

I’m a closeted bi. I wrote an op-ed for a Janelle Monáe fanzine which includes me discussing being queer. I want to tweet it to Janelle however my aunt (who follows me on twitter and thinks that I’m straight follows me) may see it. I don’t know what to do!

An Overview of LGBTQA+ Fashions Throughout History

Happy Pride Month, everyone!

In honor of pride month I wanted to research a very particular topic which, unfortunately, isn’t very widely studied. Being part of the LGBTQA+ community myself, I know that we have a very particular way of communicating through fashion, and I was wondering - in a world where homosexuality was punishable by death, how did LGBTQA+ people dress differently, or communicate their sexuality to other members of the community?

As I already mentioned, there is very little known about these things as nobody would openly document how they made others understand they were, for example, into the same sex, but we do know a little.

But first, we have to understand the circumstances in, let’s say, the 18th century.

Homosexuality didn’t really become “a thing” until the late 1800s, as in it didn’t have a label, and it really wasn’t “that big of a deal” in Rococo’s upper class. Not to say it was common, but it was generally common in the upper class to have several sexual partners, and it was not a rare occasion that a rich man's mistress actually turned out to be another man. Though it was technically, by law, punishable by death, the more common punishment for “indecency”, was public humiliation. The fact that it was especially common in the upper class really surprised me, as today’s upper class tends to be much more conservative than the middle or lower class. But I guess it was the wealth that made their sexual encounters be swept under the rug while the lower classes were punished for the exact same things.

A big part of 18th century LGBTQA+ culture were Molly Houses, aka an equivalent of today’s gay bars. Historians assume they first appeared in the middle of the 17th century, but very little is known about them for reasons already mentioned, but they were the place to go if you wanted to meet other LGBTQA+ people. However, if the wrong people found out about them, they would be raided by the police and… you can imagine the consequences.

But now, let’s get to the actual topic: the fashion.

What we know, and what we can even derive from today’s trends, is flamboyance. We know now that some LGBTQA+ people love extravagant fashion as a way to express themselves. I’m saying some because I don’t want to stereotype, and I think it’s awesome that we’re slowly starting to normalize dressing however you want. But flamboyance was key in the 18th century. But now we wonder, in an era where extravagance was everything, what was even more extravagant?  

Unfortunately, I only found explanations of how men dressed, but they used an exaggeration of aristocratic costumes and elements from female fashion to express themselves. There are multiple paintings and drawings out there, but I didn’t really want to include any in this post since the ones I found were bordering on (or straight up) caricatures and, if you put it nicely, works of their time. They do give us, however, an idea of what this extravagance could mean as they show people who were perceived as male at the time with high updos and sometimes even completely in traditionally feminine outfits. And in fact, there are mentions of people cross-dressing within the security of Molly Houses, but obviously they wouldn’t do it publicly in a time like this. The only reports are, unfortunately, from police raids and those who did cross dress were given a much harsher punishment than those who didn’t.

Let’s look at a picture of Lord John Harvey, a bisexual man who lived in the 18th century.

When I first saw this picture, I could immediately tell it was different from the rest, I just couldn’t pinpoint exactly what felt so off but then I realized - it was the way his left was just so casually propped on the… thing, and the silk draped over his arm. It’s something I’m used to seeing in female portraits, and it has a sort of sensuality to it that just isn’t common in male portraits. Sure, sometimes there can be a piece of silk draped around a man in a portrait, but I’ve never seen it done like this. I’m not gonna go into the fact that he’s quite literally pointing at his crotch, I don’t know enough about him to say why that is, but you’re free to interpret that however you’d like.

Another interesting 18th century personality I found through my research is Ulrika Eleonora Stålhammar who became a Swedish corporal and married a woman. Long story short, she posed as a man and enlisted in the army, then went on to marry a maid named Maria Löhnman. Löhnman eventually found out about her wife’s gender, but it didn’t matter to her and they stayed together. They were put on trial but claimed they had lived in a marriage without sex and were subsequently acquitted from the charge of homosexuality, but Ulrika still got a sentence for posing as a man and her wife for not revealing the truth. After serving their short sentences (a month and fourteen days, respectively), they lived a quiet life at their family’s estate. Unfortunately, there seems to be no picture of her out there!

I apologize for this short anecdote, I just thought that was really cool and wasn’t expecting not to find a picture, but now let’s get back to the fashion. Another great info I read was that in 18th century Paris, gay men wore shoelaces instead of buckles! Interesting!

Let’s jump forward into the next century. Here’s where flowers become important! The language of flowers was a huge deal in Victorian times, and who would’ve guessed - certain flowers could communicate your sexuality to others. For instance, in 19th century England, the color green indicated homosexuality. Irish author Oscar Wilde, a homosexual man, popularized pinning a green carnation to the lapel.

I’ve seen this picture colorized with the carnation being red but no, it is green so don’t let google fool you!

For women, the color violet and violets became the symbol of same-sex attraction.

These women are wearing 18th century clothing but from what I could find, this is actually an engraving from 1838.

In early 20th century New York, LGBTQA+ men wore red neck ties or bow ties as a subtle signal.

Speaking of early 20th century - I just thought I’d add these adorable pictures of actresses Lily Elsie and Adrienne Augarde. They’re from a show called The New Aladdin, and while neither of them are LGBTQA+ (as far as we know), they’re still worth a mention.

Nowadays, we are more fortunate to be able to be ourselves than these people ever were, and we can be thankful for that without forgetting about the fact that we still have a long way to go. Some countries, unfortunately, haven’t seen any improvements at all. But I also know that being LGBTQA+ even in today’s society can be scary, and sometimes signalizing it through fashion is a lot easier than going up to someone of the same sex and just ask them out. There is this slim line between stereotyping and genuine signals we send, and most of the time we do it so subconsciously that we’re not even aware of it at all times. What I want to say with that is, take my research with a grain of salt. A lot of this information stems from a time when the LGBTQA+ community wasn’t exactly respected and a lot has been interpreted from caricatures. But the most important thing to take from this is that no, LGBTQA+ isn’t just a “modern trend”, we’ve always been there and we always will be. And it’s also important to mention that the reason for me starting my post with the 18th century is that before that, it really wasn’t that big of a deal. In fact, the further back you go, the less of a big deal it was. And while today’s society is still healing from the cruelty that came after, we can thank everyone who came before us for the rights that we do have now. Without them being their brave selves, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

So here are some important historical figures who were part of the LGBTQA+ community.

• Benvenuto Cellini (1500 - 1571), Italian sculptor and goldsmith, homosexual or bisexual 
• Pope Julius III (1487-1555), homosexual  
• Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519), Italian painter, homosexual 
• William Shakespeare (1564-1616), playwright, probably bisexual 
• Thomas Cannon (18th century) author, wrote the first defense of homosexuality 
• Johann Joachim Winckelmann (1717-1768), German art historian, homosexual 
• Anne Lister (1791-1840), diarist, “first modern lesbian" 
• Walter Whitman (1819-1892), poet, homosexual or bisexual 
• Oscar Wilde (1854-1900), poet and playwright, homosexual 
• Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890), painter, bisexual
• Josephine Baker (1906-1975), entertainer, bisexual 
• Virginia Woolf (1882-1941), writer, bisexual 
• Bayard Rustin (1912-1987), African American leader in civil rights, socialism, nonviolence and gay righs, homosexual 
• Frida Kahlo (1907-1954), painter, bisexual 

Frozen 3 looks amazing

For Asexuality Awareness Week, model Yasmin Benoit answers the question ‘what is asexuality’, and busts some common myths about what it means to be asexual.

I realized I was asexual around the same time my peers seemed to realize that they were not. Once the hormones kicked in, so did a nearly universal interest in sex for those around me. I thought sex was intriguing, but never so much that I wanted to express my sexuality with someone else. I had no sexual desire towards other people, I did not experience sexual attraction, and that hasn’t changed.

I didn’t learn that there was a word for my sexuality until I was 15, after being interrogated for the millionth time at school about my orientation, or lack of it. After doing some Googling as soon as I got home, I realized for the first time in my life that I might not be broken, that I wasn’t alone in my experience, and that it wasn’t a defect I had somehow brought on myself. I had spent the entirety of my adolescent life trying to answer people’s invasive questions without having the language to explain that I was just an asexual girl.

But even after I found the language, I had only solved half of the problem. We are taught in grade school that we’ll become sexually interested in others, but never that not being sexually attracted to anyone is an option. Because we’re not taught about it, no one else knew what I was talking about when I tried to come out to them as asexual.

Many don’t believe asexuality is real,  and that makes the experience of navigating our heteronormative, hyper-sexualized society as an asexual person even harder. I’ve spent my life battling misconceptions about it and so have many other asexual people. Now, I try to use my work as a model and activist to raise awareness and change the way our society perceives asexuality and asexual people. This Asexual Awareness Week, I’m busting some of those myths about my orientation.

Now, let’s separate fact from fiction:

Myth: Asexual people have no sexuality ✘

Truth: Asexuality is considered a sexuality, just like bisexuality, heterosexuality, and homosexuality. I often phrase it as being a sexual orientation where your sexuality isn’t oriented anywhere—because it isn’t actually the same as having no sexuality or sexual feelings. Asexual people have hormones like everyone else. It isn’t uncommon for asexual people to masturbate and there are asexual people who still have sex for various reasons and gain enjoyment from it. Some asexual people are romantically attracted to others, but not sexually attracted. Since asexuality is a spectrum, the ways in which asexuality is experienced can vary in different ways.

Myth: Asexuality is a lifestyle choice ✘

Truth: This misconception stems from the idea that asexuality is a choice and not a legitimate sexual orientation. Asexuality is often confused with celibacy or abstinence, probably because they can manifest in similar ways. In contemporary society, celibacy is often defined as being sexually abstinent, often for religious reasons. Sure, for many asexual people, their asexuality means that they aren’t interested in having sex with other people, but that’s a result of their orientation—not their beliefs about sexual behavior. Celibacy is a lifestyle choice, asexuality is not. Asexuality also shouldn’t be confused with being an incel. People don’t decide to become asexual because they can’t find sexual partners or because of any other circumstances. It isn’t a state of being when you’re going through a “dry spell,” nor is it a choice any more than being gay or straight is a choice. It’s just the way we are.\

Myth: Asexuality is an illness ✘

Truth: The assertion that asexuality is a mental or physical disorder is incredibly harmful to asexual people and has led to false diagnoses, unnecessary medication, and attempts at converting asexual people. For example, Female Sexual Interest/Arousal Disorder and Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder — which are characterized by low or absent sex drive — are in the DSM-5 and have been thought of as a medical diagnosis for asexuality. But the difference is that people who have HSDD are bothered by their lack of sexual drive, while asexual people are not. But even the inclusion of HSDD as a diagnosis is controversial — some argue that people who are asexual might feel distress at their lack of sexual desire because of lack of acceptance in society. Asexuality is not the result of a hormone deficiency, or a syndrome, or a physical or psychological ailment. Research has said as much. We don’t need to be treated or fixed.

Myth: Asexual people have anti-sex attitudes ✘

Truth: There are asexual people who are repulsed by the thought of sex, or by the thought of having sex themselves. I fall into the latter category. However, that feeling does not necessarily extend to what other people are doing. The misconception that asexual people are against other people expressing their sexuality, and that all asexual people can’t stomach conversations about sex, is quite an alienating one. It leads to asexual people being left out of important discussions about sexuality. It is entirely possible and incredibly common to have sex-positive attitudes and be asexual.

Myth: There are barely any asexual people ✘

Truth: Don’t let our lack of visibility and representation fool you. There are a lot of asexual people out there, but many of us aren’t entirely out, and some haven’t realized that there’s a word for what they’re experiencing due to that lack of visibility. While research into the asexual population is lacking, its estimated that around 1% of the population is asexual—but that’s based on a studies where the participants have likely known what asexuality was and been out enough to identify that way. It’s likely there are more asexual people than we know of, but even if we did only comprise 1% of the population, that’s still tens of millions of asexual people.

Myth: Asexual people just haven’t found the right person yet ✘

Truth: The idea that asexual people just need to meet the ‘right person’ who will unlock their sexual desire and ‘fix’ their asexuality is one I’ve always found quite perplexing. It’s an argument that seems to be applied to asexuality more than other orientations. You wouldn’t tell a straight guy that they just “hadn’t met the right man yet" as an explanation of why he’s attracted to women. I’d like to think that most wouldn’t tell a gay man that they “hadn’t met the right woman yet” either. It suggests that our sexuality is reflective of our company, that no one we have ever seen or encountered has met our standards, and thus we haven’t experienced sexual attraction to the extent that the term ‘asexual’ could be applied.

This assumption ignores and invalidates all of the asexual people who have found the ‘right’ person—the asexual people in happy, fulfilling, loving relationships or who have had them in the past. Because, yes, asexual people can still have romantic relationships, or any other kind of relationship. The validity of a relationship is not and should not be based on how sexually attracted you are to that person. This statement also plays into the notion that asexual people are “missing out” on something and haven’t truly discovered our entire selves, that we are incomplete because of our innate characteristics or our life experiences. This isn’t true either.\

Myth: There’s an asexual demographic ✘

Truth: Even though most people don’t know much about asexuality, they still have quite a specific idea about what asexual people are like. I’ve often heard that, as a black woman and a model, I don’t look or seem asexual. We’re stereotyped as being awkward white kids who spend too much time on social media and probably aren’t attractive enough to find a sexual partner if we wanted to. And if we are attractive enough, then we should tone that down as not to ‘give mixed signals.’ But there is no asexual way to look or dress. Asexual people have varying ages, backgrounds, interests, appearances, and experiences, just like those belonging to any other sexual orientation. So please don’t use the term “asexual” as an adjective to describe someone you think is sexually unappealing or as an insult, because that’s only perpetuating this harmful stereotype.

Makeup: Margherita Lascala

Photography: Becky Gannon

Hair: Kayla Idowu

Styling: Diesel, Cheimsee, Sixth June, Northskull, Lamoda

Meet Yasmin Benoit, the activist vocal on the visibility of asexuality, aromanticism, and of LGBTQ+ people of colour.Can you tell us about who you are and what you do?

I’m a model and aromantic-asexuality activist from Reading, England. I entered the fashion industry with the goal of providing more diversity, then I decided to use the platform I had gained from modelling to raise awareness for asexuality and aromanticism. Since finishing my Master’s degree, that’s been my main focus.

You started the #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike which has broadened people’s understanding of asexuality, why was this something you felt inspired to do and how have things changed since you started the campaign?

I was inspired to do it because I felt like more people needed to be doing it. The outcome of the asexual community’s invisibility was staring me in the face my entire life. I was often told that I don’t “look asexual,” because I’m not what people picture when their understanding of asexual people comes from stereotypes. #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLikecame as a direct response to that unfortunately common idea.

I wanted to dispel the misconception that there’s an asexual way to look or dress, that there’s an asexual type or demographic. “Asexual” looks like me, or anyone else in our diverse community. I think the campaign introduced quite a lot of people to my work and played a part in people seeing me as an asexual representative of sorts. Every time I see asexual people using the hashtag and feeling empowered by it, it warms my heart.

A lot of the discussions about sexuality often leave out asexual identities, why do you think this is?

I’ve been trying to work that out for a while. There’s no clear, good or justifiable reason for it at this point in time. It seems like such an obvious thing to include. I’d say that it’s because it isn’t included in mainstream culture in general, but that’s a ‘chicken or the egg’ situation. At present, I think some people don’t want to go there just yet. They think that if they’re talking about anything that involves the L, the G, the B, or the T then they’ve done their part and don’t need to go further than that. They don’t think we need visibility because they haven’t heard about asexual people being discriminated against. That doesn’t mean it isn’t happening, though.

What do you think some of the misconceptions about asexuality are and why do they exist?

I’ve heard a ridiculous amount of misconceptions about asexuality. There’s the belief that we’re just incels, that we’re asexual because no one would want us anyway, that is a mental disorder, a physical disorder, a side-effect of trauma, a cover for another sexuality, or a cover for some kind of hidden perversion. People get it confused with celibacy, not wanting to have sex or not being able to have sex. There’s the misconception that it’s an attitude, like being anti-sex and thinking other people shouldn’t be having sex, or that we just haven’t found the “right person” yet.

I’ve had multiple people tell me that it’s the side effect of veganism, which is particularly bizarre. They come from a lack of education and miseducation. People aren’t taught about asexuality. It isn’t part of mainstream consciousness. Our society places so much emphasis on the importance of sexual attraction and romantic relationships that it breeds the belief that asexual people and aromantic people just need to develop past their “issue.” People need to realise that it isn’t an issue and what we’re taught about sexuality is just a small part of the picture.

How can we foster a sense of community while in isolation?

Keep creating, keep sharing, keep talking, keep reading, keep watching, keep filming. I know it feels like the world is at a standstill, but we need to keep going. I just encourage everyone to keep expressing themselves and supporting each other.

The fact that people still think that the A stands for Allies, and they’re more accepting of that than aspec people (people on the asexual/aromantic spectrum) is frustrating. Almost everyone who falls under the + needs more representation, especially intersex people.

If there is one thing you could say to oppressors of queer people, what would you say?

Oppression isn’t just a hot topic for morning breakfast shows, or isn’t just something to comment on under a Facebook post. It really impacts people’s lives. It affects their sense of self, their relationships, their future prospects, their safety. That isn’t a reflection of who they are, but of the world around them. If you want to leave something positive behind, make the world a better place for everyone.

Who inspires you?

My first choice is my mum, of course, for being a hard worker, a leader, and an amazing parent and friend who raised me single-handedly while having a successful career. I’m inspired by people who take risks and sacrifice something to help others. I’ve always cited Munroe Bergdorf as being my activist inspiration, especially as we work in similar industries. She got an unnecessary amount of slack for drawing attention to racism and transphobia, but it didn’t stop her.

What parts of the queer community do you feel needs more representation?

The asexual and aromantic community for sure. The fact that people still think that the A stands for Allies, and they’re more accepting of that than aspec people (people on the asexual/aromantic spectrum) is frustrating. Almost everyone who falls under the + needs more representation, especially intersex people.

Do you feel it is crucial as visible queer people to set boundaries so you don’t give too much of yourself?

I do, but I’d be lying if I said I’d worked out exactly how to do that. As an introvert in an ironically visible position, I’m still getting the hang of this whole thing. It’s hard to know when you’re off-duty, if you’re ever off duty. Or what to keep private and what to make public when who you are is being used as an example, and your story is being used to help others. It can also be draining having to explain everything to everyone all the time, or people feeling entitled to your life story at every opportunity. Sometimes, I just want to be like, “Google it. I’ve written articles, done interviews, there are whole web pages about it.”

Are you optimistic about the future for queer people?

It’s a hard question because I feel like we’re all on different trajectories at the moment. Trans rights are going backwards in some places, gay rights are going forwards, biphobia is evident even inside the LGBTQIA+ community, asexual and aromantic people have been gaining more visibility and representation, but we’re decades behind everyone else. Intersex issues are only just being bought into the conversation. I’d like to think that things will get better for everyone, though.

https://bricksmagazine.co.uk/2020/05/29/yasmin-benoit-on-aromantic-asexuality-education/

Daddy camila

Baby C

You are what you eat

Christmas…

Love

Old good times

Really old ones

Smile!

Cute one

Is it just me or do Queer people gravitate to eachother. When I met my group of friends we all identify as straight and now years later most of us are Queer.

I really want some queer friends. People who I can gossip about cute girl or talk about the struggles of being gay.

Can some girl please lay down on her stomach with her head pressed against my chest, showing me memes while I read and stroke her hair? Is it to much to ask for??