#love story
(no, not the movie - though it is very funny, and we did watch it together)
But this is OUR proposal. Or should I say, Joe’s? Either way, here’s the story, the full version, written mostly by Joe with a couple of comments by me (denoted by *’s).
JOE’S PREFACE: We have spent hours and hours of time in the Dartmouth Prayer Room, many more stargazing, and dozens on various physical or electronic puzzle games. With these in mind, please continue reading…
Where to begin… birth of the universe would be classic, birth of Wei and I would be another great place to start… but perhaps it is best to begin with my foolishness. I recently said to a close friend “I don’t expect you to be married soon… you need to be particularly foolish to make it through a long relationship, since Paul effectively says in Corinthians, ‘Don’t do it unless you have to - it will waste your time.’ You’re too smart/wise to get married soon.” So let’s begin with the 'brilliant Ivy-League student’ being dumb, to prove that I’m ready for this marriage thing. ;-)
*** Whenever Joe tells this story in person, he likes to start with, “Every good proposal starts with the guy being stupid, and ends with the two of them engaged.” ***
It was around March 25th, and I knew May 5th - Wei’s birthday - was just around the corner (those who know their months should now be confused). My grandmother was proposed to on her birthday, and I thought it would be a fun tradition to continue, so I began thinking through the specifics of the proposal I mistakenly thought was scheduled a week and a half later… On March 30th while studying with Wei, my calendar happened to show the next month…
*** The exact wording of our dialogues aren’t entirely accurate, but since this is Joe’s side of the story, I figure I’ll let him tell it how he would like to. ***
Joe: Wei! NEXT MONTH ISN’T MAY!!!
Wei: No kidding…
Joe: !!! What significant dates are there in the next few weeks?
Wei: Umm… let’s think about it…
As it turned out, her Chinese lunar birthday converted into the Gregorian/Western/Christian calendar is April 4th, and there were two other significant dates that we discussed. Wei and I set aside time for an evening out on each day, to prevent it being obvious when I would propose.
Friday April 4th rolled around, and I knew Wei would remember we had a date, so I said nothing that morning and went to class dressed nicely, then prepared a few things in downtown Hanover. Fortunately, my smokescreen worked; at around 2pm Wei texted me:
Wei: Are we doing that date tonight? Should I dress up?
Joe: I dunno… I have a meeting for Engs 41… and I’d need to go back and shower if we were going to dress up… :-/
Wei: Well we don't have to…? We could skip it? (pauses)
Joe: No we’ve had this planned for a while - I guess we can dress up. I’ll try to rush and pick you up at 5pm.
Meanwhile I’m in Hanover prepping… (hit me up: we can discuss the morality of lying during your proposal sometime. ;-)
PUZZLE no.1 : TIME : 5 minutes.
*** Since from our communications, Joe didn’t seem particularly enthused about our date, I wasn’t particularly ecstatic to get ready. I delayed until about 4pm before I decided I should probably put on something nice. Joe texted me at the same time to say he’d be late… ***
A little past 5pm I went over to her dorm room and informed her that 'since all perfect things come in threes,’ this evening’s activities would be similar. Our evening would consist of 3 sections, each starting after she completed a small logic puzzle I had presumably picked up from Thayer (all lies!). She solved it in about five minutes, then we went to Molly’s (a local restaurant) for our favorite tasty fare of spinach and artichoke dip and chicken carbonara.
*** When Joe first pulled out the puzzles, I noticed that there was a price tag from College Supplies, a store in town, but Joe smoothly covered it by saying that the Thayer School of Engineering’s Deans frequently bought stuff from there for their mini-events for Thayer students. It wasn’t until a couple days later that I found out that I was right, he had gotten them from College Supplies, and that he’d been basically lying to me the entire day. >_< ***
PUZZLE no.2 : TIME : 10 minutes. (+ 1 week)
*** Though I took the puzzle apart in 10 minutes, it took me a full week before I figured out how to put it back together. ***
Post-dinner I gave Wei the second more challenging puzzle, which she spent about ten minutes solving, before we left for dessert. We walked towards the college Green, but then she dashed into the Dartmouth bookstore to avoid the rain and complaining of the cold, unaware that I’d already planned for us to go inside.
*** I sat down, expecting Joe to purchase dessert from the store, or that we would go to Morano Gelato or someplace, but he unexpectedly pulled a box of chocolates from his backpack!
Now, I should be clear: I don’t like most chocolate. I am very picky when it comes to most sweets, actually. Other than perhaps ice cream. The fact that Joe took the trouble to find hand-made chocolates that I would appreciate made me suspicious: this was no usual date.
He even picked up white chocolate (my favorite) from Lake Winnipesaukee to reference our much beloved and often referenced comedy, “What About Bob?” I didn’t get the reference at the time, unfortunately, because I don’t do geography (those of you who know me know this is an understatement), but it served to enforce my sense that tonight was a big night. ***
This is the part where Wei picks up the story…
PUZZLE no.2 : TIME : 2 weeks. (+ 3 weeks)
While Joe read jokes from a book, I worked on the last puzzle.
Then I read, and Joe worked on the puzzle.
We traded again.
And again.
Forty-five minutes later we were no closer to a solution, and I think Joe decided not to push the issue, so we left and he took me to the Prayer Room where we’ve spent a lot of time together - particularly early in our relationship. In many ways, I’d say this is where our relationship really started.
*** JOE: We opened the door to a private, meaningful space, and I was ready… but not for the sound of Tim Toh’s voice and guitar belting out from inside along with several friends. Always the pragmatic one of the pair (that’s a joke), Wei suggested we go to Rollins to pray instead, or perhaps down by the river, thinking that one significant location was as good as another, but I insisted that we use the Prayer Room. ***
I even recommended that we go in and pray with everyone, which Joe also adamantly refused. I thought he was nervous, or anxious, or something. But to complicate things, because I’d known that Joe would be busy later, and I figured 4 hours was long enough for a date, I was actually scheduled to work that night and needed to go set up at 8:30pm. We arrived at the Prayer Room at 8pm, and they did not look like they would be done anytime in the near future.
We decided to just ask if I could take some time off from the set-up, so he dropped me off at Collis, where I spoke with my supervisor, and promised to pick me up once the prayer room became free. An hour later, I got a text, and - after running through the rain-drizzle - we were back in the entryway.
At this point, my hyper-analytical mind kicked in. I saw a small box on the bookshelf, and felt very snug, like, “yup, I totally saw this coming” (well, at least after the chocolate). But then I became confused: Why would Joe leave the ring outside the room? Was he going to pretend to not propose, and then suddenly do it upon leaving?
Then he asked me to close my eyes, which I did. Oh, there was something set up! As we walked into the prayer room Joe distinctly said “SHOOT!” followed by “Don’t worry about it…” to which I responded, “What? Did I break something? What did I do? You have to tell me, I can’t see anything…” After assuring me it was fine, he turned off the lights, and my theater instincts kicked in. Intimacy vocal exercises in the dark!
It was the first thing that came to mind. I had no idea what else you would do in the dark that could possibly be related to a proposal…
However, he then asked me to walk over some cushions and then lay down on them, in the dark, and I was a bit weirded out. I thought I was supposed to be standing, and he would be kneeling… Who proposes with the girl on her back? What on earth is he doing? Don’t judge, Wei… it’s his proposal…
Then Joe lay down next to me and asked me to open my eyes.
The ceiling was covered in glow-in-the-dark stars… including constellations that he’d set up using star charts. “I know it’s cold and rainy, but you always wanted to be proposed to under the stars…” (I’d told my sister that my ideal proposal was under the stars, and she’d passed on the hint.)
At this point, I started crying… It was truly one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for me. After some time finding the constellations and star gazing together, Joe turned on a low light so I could see a bouquet of lilies - my favorite genus of flowers - at the foot of the wooden cross on the wall. I started crying again… “Go look at the box under the flowers, Wei. Or look in the box, rather.”
Through a rather teary haze I looked…
And found nothing. An empty box. Crying and confused, I turned around to see Joe on his knees with the ring. “Will you marry me?” I was sobbing like crazy that this point, and couldn’t find the words, so we hugged, and he continually reminds me that I never technically said yes… I did nod though. =P
Either way, two weeks later, after enlisting the help of several brilliant Dartmouth minds to no avail, I solved the last puzzle, and a week after that, I put it back together, and Joe proposed again, and I said yes, properly.
*** JOE: And here we are, several months later! =D ***
One of my all time favorite movies. I’ve watched it so many times I can recite every line in every scene. I love that the character of Danielle is shown to be vulnerable and struggle internally with her place in the world, yet she can find strength all on her own and fight her own battles. The prince doesn’t fix her problems, but he does add to her life in a positive way and she his. That is what makes this a believable fairy tale.
I also love this scene, because sometimes we need to ask others for help. The world can be a cruel place and having a great support system is a wonderful thing. Danielle can fight her own battles, but she’s also willing to ask for help and embrace her support system.
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Sir Michael Caine & Giovanna Ralli during the filming of “Deadfall” (1968)
Marcello Mastroianni & Nastassja Kinski (1978)
Clark Gable & Vivien Leigh in
“Gone with the wind” (1939)
Clark Gable & Grace Kelly in
“Mogambo” (1953)
I will never do something like that ever.
I promise
“I don’t have a favourite place,
Wherever my favourite person is, that’s my favourite place.”
Pic CTTO
You can never control people and their actions.
What they do is who they are.
You love and love a person until you are an empty shell,
But even when they are full, they would still never be the person they promised you the first.
Finished another one of my many WIP’s! And believe it or not, this one has absolutely nothing to do with Wenzhou!
Dark Room
why is it that she felt
deeply connected to a room,
where she could neither see
nor hear
and feel lost in the world outside
where she felt, she had less control
about her life
than in a space
where she was restricted
not knowing but feeling
at home
a place, where they both could be
themselves
and not be held back by anyone’s standards
especially their own
but this wasn’t life
it was the easy way out
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Thinking about how every love song or love prose or love poem is only ever written for just one person to read.
Even if it’s published in a book or printed in a magazine or posted on a blog. Even if it generates income or has a fanbase. Even if it’s carved on a pedestal, sung in concerts.
An open letter, free for all to read, addressed to just one. Only ever truly meant for one.
