This song hits a lot different now that I’m the parent going through a divorce instead of the kid.

homelesscorpsebehindatrain:

glumshoe:

appreciation post for characters who can say “at your service” in a tone of voice that suggests they will gleefully do anything within their power to cause problems for you on purpose

every dwarf showing up at bilbo’s door

I am back! ✨✨✨✨

Starting to delve deeper into my spirituality, inspired by the love of my life.

A while back ago, my cousin made me a love candle. It’s purpose was to draw in the man that I needed right now. She’d told me he’d be here within a year (candle was done in Dec. 2020).

Now, they say love hits you like a ton of bricks completely out of nowhere and they’re absolutely right.

I met my boyfriend in November of 2021 and at first just thought he was going to be another male friend that I’d be in love with for the rest of my life and he’d never do anything about it. And, I was so wrong.

It took her a minute to work on himself and get his shit together but once he did, he opened his arms and his heart to me. We’ve been together for a month and some and there is no doubt in my mind that he is my absolute soulmate.

Everytime I look into his eyes, I feel a familiar safety blanketing me. He is indeed everything that I’ve ever wanted and everything I need. I’m so excited for the infinity that is to come with my special man.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, some people will never appreciate you the way you want them to and they will never see how much you’re worth. No matter how much you want them to, no matter how much you wish they did, no matter how much you do for them and how much you want them to love you, how much you want them to be good to you.. They just won’t. You can try everything but you can’t force someone to be the right person.

//helovedmebutnotenough

” Isn’t sad when you spend months and sometimes even years on loving someone who could never love you back the same? Isn’t it sad that even though you’re completly aware of it, you’ll still stay. You’ll stay and pretend that they love you as much as you love them because being with them without them loving you sounds a lot more better than being without them at all. ”

- they say love is blind guess they’re right

” The worst thing you can do to someone is to take advantage of their feelings for you. You will treat them like shit knowing damn well they will stay with you just because they love you. How can you be so heartless? ”

- that’s what he did to me

” It’s not your fault that he doesn’t know how to love you. It’s not your fault that he doesn’t know how to treat you or appreciate you. Never blame yourself because of a boy who is stupid enough not to see how much you’re worth. Keep in mind that you deserve someone who don’t need instructions, they just know how to love you perfectly without any excuses. Know your worth, always. ”

- helovedmebutnotenough

You know what? I was sick. I was sick of being treated like shit. I was sick of coming back to you and forgiving you every goddamned time and you took advantage of it every single time. I was sick of you ignoring me and only talking to me when it suited you. I was sick of your lies, your bullshit, your secrets. I was sick of crying. I was sick of waking up with tears rolling down my cheeks because of the terrible nightmare I had about losing you (little did I know that I was losing you more and more everyday) And I was sick of going to sleep barley being able to breathe and having to gasp for air every five minutes, all because I was feeling unwanted as hell and you couldn’t care less. I was sick of being mad. I was sick of being mad at myself and putting all the blame on me. I was fucking sick of myself for putting myself through so much shit all because I loved you and put you before me.

I was sick of being sick.

- But I’m ok now.

” I wish I could make you to understand how it felt to be in my shoes, how it felt to feel all that pain you made me feel. Maybe then you would respect me, maybe then you wouldn’t talk about me like I’m crazy. Maybe, just maybe, you’ve regret what you did. ”

- but you don’t want to understand

Ask you for space, you told me no.

I told you to leave, you said ” Fine, I’ll just go ”

I told you, ” Wait, why would you leave? You used to fight for me. And I just wanted all your attention ”

- every something fades

” You’re just making sure I’m never getting over you ”

- Charlie Puth

” I just don’t understand ”

” explain to me ” he said through the phone while hearing her cry

” you explain to me! I don’t understand how you can tell someone you love then go and act like they don’t matter do you? Explain to me how you managed to sleep at night knowing that I was crying because you made me feel worthless? How do you live with yourself after telling someone you love them but not prove a damn thing? ”

” I.. You know I love you ” he interrupted her

” Do I? ” She was gasping for air. ” if you loved me, how could you treat me like that? You didn’t. That’s the explanation, you just didn’t love me. ”

- the only logical explanation for us

”I’m stuck in a time that has already passed by”

- I still think you’re mine sometimes

”I have tried, tried to meet others but it always ends up the same. I compare them to you. I compare to the details of what we had. But you have probably met someone new. Are you like you and I were? Do you do the same things? Does she care about you? Is it possible that she can love you more than me?

I can’t stop thinking.

- she can never love you more than I did, never

”What am I supposed to do with all of the love I wanted to give to you but you didn’t want it? What do I do when I still hear your voice, your laugh, your touch on my skin? I still se our memories, I still see you everywhere I go.

Tell me, what the hell am I supposed to do?”

- excerpt from something I’ll never say to you

” Since you’ve been gone I’ve been lost. Lost in a place where I only feel and see you and nobody else. Yet, this is the only place where I have you, because in reality you’re not mine and to be true, I’d rather be lost than to live in a world where you and I don’t belong to each other ”

- I might as well be lost forever

” I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I can’t relax, think or do anything at all. Seriously, I can barely breathe. What is right and what is wrong? I’m so fucking confused. ”

excerpt from my diary (17/5-2017)

I want to say that I deserve better, that I am not getting the love and attention that I need. But what do I deserve? How am I supposed to know what I deserve? I don’t think love is supposed to be this way, but what the hell do I know? I want him to show me that he loves me, just like he did before. I am tired of words, it feels like I’m wasting my time.

I want to cry but I can’t. Why do I have do feel this way? How do I know when it’s time to let go? How am I supposed know what is best for me when he is all my heart knows about? This makes me so confused.

I think that I deserve more love than I am getting.

- excerpt from my diary (12/4-2017)

”Before you, I saw everything as poetry. I saw everything others just passed by, things they refused to see, things they were too blind to see.

But now the whole world is just so pale. Words are just words, boys are just boys, people are just people. Everything’s just, nothing.”

- nothing makes any sense