Stop perpetuating the idea that avoiding eye contact = lying. Some of us are just autistic and shouldn’t have to force ourselves to make eye contact just to avoid being called liars.
Same goes for fidgeting. It doesn’t necessarily mean someone’s lying or nervous. It could just be the result of neurodivergence.
Many, many neurotypical people who are not from English-speaking Western culture will also not look you in the eye if you are an authority, because in their culture, that’s how you show respect.
And people with albinism and other low vision conditions often have something called rhythmatic nystagmus, where their eyes move back and forth uncontrollably.
It’s ableist against more groups than just the neurodivergent and it’s ethnocentric, bordering on outright racist, to perceive “not looking you in the eye” as dishonest or disrespectful.
Oh no it IS outright racist. That many Indigenous people don’t make eye contact ESPECIALLY with strangers was widely used against them because: SEE THEY ARE LIARS. DECEITFUL. HIDING THINGS.
I didn’t know that. This is a very important addition to my post.
Stop perpetuating the idea that avoiding eye contact = lying. Some of us are just autistic and shouldn’t have to force ourselves to make eye contact just to avoid being called liars.
Same goes for fidgeting. It doesn’t necessarily mean someone’s lying or nervous. It could just be the result of neurodivergence.
I saw this tweet about how things don’t always “occur” to adhd people and I thought I could relate to it as well, although I’m autistic and not adhd.
For example - if I have a headache, it simply won’t occur to me to take pain meds. I know I have a headache. I want the pain to stop. I am aware of the existence of pain meds. But the idea never occurs to me to take them until someone else suggests it.
The example they gave in the tweet was that if someone says hello to them, it may not occur to them to say hello back and yep… I do that as well.
I just never realized that other people may not do these things.
This is called executive dysfunction and it’s very common for both adhd and autistic people! <3
I was under the impression that executive dysfunction was being unable to transition between tasks. Like that feeling when you’re trying to get up and make some food, but your brain won’t let you no matter how hard you try. Is that something different?
They are both forms of executive dysfunction! Executive dysfunction simply means one of your executive functions isn’t working. The executive functions are:
Emotional control
Task initiation
Working memory
Self-monitoring (interoception, something a lot of autistics struggle with)
Flexibility
Organization
Planning & time management
Self control
What you’re experiencing and what you already considered executive dysfunction are both issues with task initiation, and I think what you’re experiencing is also an issue with planning.
The reason ADHD and autism are so similar is that the executive functions are impacted; among other symptoms and traits, they are both executive functioning disorders. Which is why you experience this thing that a lot of ADHDers experience, and why ADHD and autism have such a high comorbidity rate.
I saw this tweet about how things don’t always “occur” to adhd people and I thought I could relate to it as well, although I’m autistic and not adhd.
For example - if I have a headache, it simply won’t occur to me to take pain meds. I know I have a headache. I want the pain to stop. I am aware of the existence of pain meds. But the idea never occurs to me to take them until someone else suggests it.
The example they gave in the tweet was that if someone says hello to them, it may not occur to them to say hello back and yep… I do that as well.
I just never realized that other people may not do these things.
This is called executive dysfunction and it’s very common for both adhd and autistic people! <3
I was under the impression that executive dysfunction was being unable to transition between tasks. Like that feeling when you’re trying to get up and make some food, but your brain won’t let you no matter how hard you try. Is that something different?
Since I have both Tourette’s and autism, I decided to make this venn diagram to explain the differences and similarities between tics and stims. This is based on my experiences and my understanding of other people’s experiences. I may be wrong in some parts, but I’m pretty sure this general idea is correct. I find this much more helpful than the yawn/sneeze metaphor, personally.
I saw this tweet about how things don’t always “occur” to adhd people and I thought I could relate to it as well, although I’m autistic and not adhd.
For example - if I have a headache, it simply won’t occur to me to take pain meds. I know I have a headache. I want the pain to stop. I am aware of the existence of pain meds. But the idea never occurs to me to take them until someone else suggests it.
The example they gave in the tweet was that if someone says hello to them, it may not occur to them to say hello back and yep… I do that as well.
I just never realized that other people may not do these things.
Or if I’m cold, it won’t occur to me to get a jacket. I’m just like “oh well, guess I’ll just be cold.”
I saw this tweet about how things don’t always “occur” to adhd people and I thought I could relate to it as well, although I’m autistic and not adhd.
For example - if I have a headache, it simply won’t occur to me to take pain meds. I know I have a headache. I want the pain to stop. I am aware of the existence of pain meds. But the idea never occurs to me to take them until someone else suggests it.
The example they gave in the tweet was that if someone says hello to them, it may not occur to them to say hello back and yep… I do that as well.
I just never realized that other people may not do these things.
I looked up “how to manage autistic meltdowns” and all the sites were like “how to deal with your CHILD’S meltdowns” “tips for dealing with your SON, your non-adult child who is DEFINITELY MALE” like just tell me how to deal with my own meltdowns as an adult, please
I always underestimate my hyposensitivities. I can be faint from heat and still not feel hot. My tourettes can cause me to slap myself so hard my ears ring and I’ll hardly feel the pain. I cannot imagine how these things must feel to neurotypicals, nevermind for autistics who are HYPERSENSITIVE to those things. It’s just so crazy to me that I have such a different perception. To hypersensitive autistics, you have my respect.
Like, I can be hypersensitive to some things. For example, if something burns my tongue, I feel it for hours, or even until the next day. And being hyposensitive has its drawbacks. I cannot be trusted to manage my own body during the summer because I can’t tell when I’m hot or thirsty. But being hypersensitive to those things? In June? Respect.
I always underestimate my hyposensitivities. I can be faint from heat and still not feel hot. My tourettes can cause me to slap myself so hard my ears ring and I’ll hardly feel the pain. I cannot imagine how these things must feel to neurotypicals, nevermind for autistics who are HYPERSENSITIVE to those things. It’s just so crazy to me that I have such a different perception. To hypersensitive autistics, you have my respect.
Some people just don’t understand how validating a diagnosis can be. Like with my parents, they worried that getting a diagnosis would be “letting it define me,” and that “there’s no point in confirming what we already know.” But having a professional sit down and tell you you’re not faking or overreacting is so relieving. Of course, there are downsides and not everybody feels the need for one, but if someone wants a diagnosis, listen to them.
I thought someone stole my phone at an amusement park today and I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t figure out why I was so upset but then I realized that my phone at some point became my comfort object. The unparalleled relief when my mom pulled it out of her bag. That experience was a rollercoaster in and of itself.
anyone else’s brain ever reach that point where it’s like ‘okay that is enough decisions for today. if you behave and say nite nite now, we will consider allowing you to make some decisions tomorrow. as a treat. but right now the quota has been filled. you have maxed out on decisions. hush hush child, go brush your teeth it is beddy-bye time chop chop, no more decisions for u sleepy bitch.’
Between executive disfunction and anxiety on top of ADHD, I’ve had days where I’ve overthought and second guessed my way to this point within a few hours of waking!
I FOUND THE SECRET TO BECOMING NEUROTYPICAL! i got my swivel chair, my youtube music videos, and then i just spin around watching music videos until my ass hurts and i do it every day. i also try to go to the store everyday whilst not buying stuff. it really works.
i just came to the realization that i am not the totally empathetic person that i thought i was. i just snooped around some tags where quote, unquote, “neurodivergent” people vent about their problems, and just kind of have this big community. i was really pissed at the people talking about their problems and expecting others to care, but then i realized: the reason why i’m annoyed is because i can’t relate. i only have my mind, so the “slap you in the face with reality” advice that i give may not work for everyone. i haven’t faced what i would call depression in a year when i ripped out my hair and cut myself (smooth move, me. smooth move). so, yep. i’m emotionally enlightened. i’m an angel. call me your neurotypical senpai. i will save you from your dark pits of hair pulling and cutting. or something. am i being offensive? hehe, i wanna brag about this. i am now a self-diagnosed neurotypical.
