spongebob-autisticquestions:

I looked up “how to manage autistic meltdowns” and all the sites were like “how to deal with your CHILD’S meltdowns” “tips for dealing with your SON, your non-adult child who is DEFINITELY MALE” like just tell me how to deal with my own meltdowns as an adult, please

Merry Christmas!

Funky flapping cause a bug flew too close

April 27, 2020

Today was fine until I had two meltdowns and a seizure all because I can’t find a top that I really like and want to take to Scotland with me

The melt and craccckkkkkback

Top tier vocaloid songs.

There’s something almost funny about taking a stand to talk about your autism, the issues it might cause in terms of communication, and to be interrupted by a colleague who proceeds to talk over you and badmouth you without naming you directly.

I literally just said that I was aware that I could make mistakes and that I was available to talk through it openlyanddirectly. I also just said that I have troubles speaking when I’m being interrupted.

Geez, I’m the autistic one here, and this NT can’t be bothered to show the bare minimum of respect, nor is she willing to think about her communication at all.

I was literally suppressing an incoming meltdown while talking, and I had to pull the words out of my mouth. And I was still more respectful and decent than she ever was…

Honestly, sometimes, I can’t. I just can’t. I’m gonna roll myself into a ball and cry a little into my pillow as soon as I manage to walk myself back home.

Geez…

Related to the “loss of speech” event, it happened while I was with a NT friend. I was so overwhelmed, I gradually stopped being able to talk out loud at all. I knew I needed to warn my friend somehow, because it was her birthday and her daughter’s as well, and I didn’t want to ruin that for her.

I typed a few words on my phone to explain the situation, and you know what she did? She just said “Alright, I get it.” and she didn’t make a big deal out of it. She went out of her way for the restaurant folks to be mindful and turn down the sound of the (very loud) music, without ever specifying that I was disabled. 

She was mindful to ask me “yes or no” questions, and when she had to ask open questions, she waited for me to type it out on my phone.

She also explained the situation quickly to her children, and asked them to be mindful and not talk to me too much (which I was grateful for, because those children can be so chatty and loud sometimes, even if they’re nice x) ). All in all, she was nothing, but understanding. And the situation didn’t worsen, thanks to that.

If you’re NT or allistic and you want to be a good ally, take notes. Whether your autistic friend/folk/whatever they are to you is fully nonverbal or only experiencing episodes of speech loss, respect their needs, and accept that spoken language isn’t the only viable way to communicate. 

If you’re in a position to do something to help them and make the situation easier on them, don’t hesitate. If you’re not, be understanding and allow them an out. Don’t force them to stay and suffer, and, more than that, don’t complain afterward if the person is then having a meltdown.

It’s been a little while since I wrote about autism on my blog. I hope you’re all doing okay.

I’ve been going through a lot of changes. I moved out, and I started a new job at the beginning of the month. I’m still adjusting to some stuff, but I’m mostly in a better situation than I used to. I don’t get daily meltdowns like I used to, and I don’t hurt myself too much as well. Things get progressively better.

In this new workplace that I’m working in, I realized that I’m a lot better at my job than I thought I was, and being in an environment where people actually tell you that you’re doing a good job is so valuable. I don’t even have to push myself that hard to get to that point, unlike in my previous job. 

I’ve also been very open about my disability, and while there are colleagues I probably never totally get along with, it has nothing to do with the constant tension I was feeling before, draining my entire energy before the day ended. People are mostly understanding, and they’re happy about my work and my motivation, so there’s that.

I’ve got a meltdown twice this month, which is an incredible progress compared to the daily stuff I used to go through. The first was because there were construction works right next to our building, and we kept the window open because it was too hot. It got too much for me and I needed to go to the bathroom to cry and rock. 

I was very intimidated to talk about my difficulties, because I know how some people can react when I ask them to do stuff regarding my disability, but they’ve been understanding. They closed the windows, used the AC and told me I could use my headphones if the window is open (it covers most of the sound) and nobody will bat an eye.

The second time had nothing to do with work, it happened yesterday and there was an issue with the subway line I’m usually using to go home. So I had to take another one, and it was incredibly crowded, and it took me like more than a hour to come back home, when it usually takes me 35 to 40 minutes. 

I didn’t explode on the way home, but I was very close to it, and I just crashed once I was in my flat. It’s the kind of meltdown I can’t really avoid, but if it’s something that happens only occasionnally, then it’s a lot more bearable than before.

Anyway, I’m back, and I’ll try to write more regularly. Don’t hesitate to send asks!

Take care of yourself, and have a nice day.

Just had a full panic attack at the idea of going back to work in a few hours.

It’s 3 a.m and I still can’t sleep. I had to turn on my PS4 and put some video on Youtube to calm myself down. If I turn it off, I start thinking and panicking again, and I can’t handle that right now.

I was on holidays, but I had to socialize for four days straight in a place I never went to before, and I barely had any moment for myself (and no internet, so no special interest for this long).

What was left of my holidays wasn’t enough and I don’t feel rested at all.

Worse, I know that my boss is gonna have a private meeting with me at some point, but I don’t know when or how.

I only know that it’s probably gonna last hours, because that’s how it is with my boss, and I can’t handle it.

Last time he tried to make me go through that, without warning me properly beforehand, I had a full meltdown and had to run away before I hurt myself in front of him.

It’s so fucking exhausting. I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to go through the day, I feel so unequipped to deal with all of that…