#pick up lines

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[ID: A one-panel comic showing a young halfling man with pale skin, brown hair, and slightly pointed

[ID: A one-panel comic showing a young halfling man with pale skin, brown hair, and slightly pointed ears leaning in towards a goblin woman with blue-green skin and a deep pink mohawk. She is wearing armor, while the man is wearing a blue jacket with much of his chest exposed. The goblin woman is drinking something in a martini glass with a pink umbrella in it. The man is saying, “Damn, girl. Did it hurt? When you…” The goblin woman cuts him off with an overlapping word balloon, saying, “Buddy, if you don’t stop talking right now, I swear to all the gods I will kick you in the balls.” End ID]


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Your brand new episode of Sir Approves is live and waiting for you, Kitten. This episode : What’s wrong with men??!! It’s not often you’ll find me angry, so jump on in to this one. Boys, have a listen. You might learn something.

#sirapproves    #rex reginae    #domination    #pick up lines    #fuckboy    #idiots    #lessons    #mad daddy    #education    

miles-to-go2:

mbtipartyblog:

Hey I must be an INFJ because I’m suuuuper intoYOUative haha ;)

Hey baby, r u an INFP? cuz you’re lookin’ FiNe ;) ;) ;)

I’m an FP, I just can’t FiTe these feelings…

Most call me an ENTP but you can call me Ne-time. ;) 

Are you an ISTJ? because I have you in my SiTe ;) 

Hey are you an ISXP because I’m SENSING a conNection betwen us ;)

niall: okay go over there and say your best pickup line

harry: okay *walks over to louis* i like my partners like my intrusive thoughts

louis: what the fuck

harry: fucking me over in the middle of the night

niall: oh my god *leaves*

Marlene: Your eyes look like dark black holes, but that’s alright, because I like astronomy.

Dorcas: If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand

Marlene: Your eyes look like dark black holes, but that’s alright, because I like astronomy.

Dorcas: If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand

When you face a moment where it would help to dish out a compliment, say to a male partner or a friend or a friend’s son, China Simplified wants you to be armed and ready!

The current trendy expressions – 小鲜肉 xiǎo xiān ròu a hot guy (lit. little fresh meat), 男神 nán shén male god, and 高富帅 gāofù shuài tall, rich and handsome – are great among friends to show you know the latest pop culture sayings. In other settings, however, you may want to reach for a more sophisticated compliment, one able to communicate a degree of respect and intellectual substance.

Styles of expression come and go. Check out this translation from one of China’s greatest novels in description of Baoyu, its popular male protagonist:

“His face resembles the mid-autumn moon. His features hover like a flower on a spring morning. Sideburns trimmed sharp, as if cut by a knife. Eyebrows as if painted in ink. His cheeks are like peach blossoms, eyes like autumn ripples. When angry he seems to smile, and when he frowns, he still endears.”


— from Dream of Red Mansions by Cao Xueqin (1715-1763)

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When you face a moment where it would help to dish out a compliment, say to a male partner or a friend or a friend’s son, China Simplified wants you to be armed and ready!

The current trendy expressions – 小鲜肉 xiǎo xiān ròu a hot guy (lit. little fresh meat), 男神 nán shén male god, and 高富帅 gāofù shuài tall, rich and handsome – are great among friends to show you know the latest pop culture sayings. In other settings, however, you may want to reach for a more sophisticated compliment, one able to communicate a degree of respect and intellectual substance.

Continue reading


Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Let us help you make a good impression with the ladies with these timeless Chinese phrases.

astraltwelve:

Aries: “I have an extra ticket for a fire dancing workshop next weekend. Wanna come?”

Taurus : “I own a winery/cookie shop. I’d love for you to come by for a tour and some free samples.”

Gemini: “I feel like I could talk with you nonstop for days.”

Cancer: “This might sound crazy, but I can already feel myself falling in love with you.”

Leo: “I couldn’t help but notice that you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Virgo: “I really want to get to know you, but first let me reorganize these party napkins by size and color.”

Libra: “I love your shoes. And your dress. And your necklace. And your hair. And your eyes.”

Scorpio: “You are the most intriguing, mysterious, captivating person I’ve ever met. Wanna have sex?”

Sagittarius: “Your opinions are so brilliant and original–tell me more!”

Capricorn: “I’m the top executive managing president of international sales at the #1 marketing company in the greater Northern hemisphere.”

Aquarius: “ I’ve traveled all 50 states and 27 countries and I’ve never met anyone like you.”

Pisces: “Your eyes are like glimmering oceans of emotion. Suddenly I want to get lost at sea.”

pick up lines

ultimatebottom69:

zeychen:

Find someone who will learn a language for you just to say the shittiest pick up line with it.

aries - i was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on
taurus - damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged
gemini - is your dad a terrorist? because you are the bomb
cancer - do you have a map? i’m getting lost in your eyes
leo - are you netflix? because I could watch you for hours
virgo - are you a bank loan? because you’ve got my interest
libra - do you work at starbucks? because I like you a latte
scorpio - i’m not staring at your boobs, i’m staring at your heart
sagittarius - do you smoke pot? because weed be cute together
capricorn - are you a parking ticket? ‘cause you’ve got fine written all over you
aquarius - if you were a booger i’d pick you first
pisces - are you a camera? because every time I look at you, I smile

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