I remember when our friends were so happy for us when we got together and our first meeting in person. We just drew each other in, two broken hearts becoming one that healed together. Until we had to part.
Now everything feels weird. Everything feels so out of place. Everything feels so incomplete and empty. I feel incomplete and empty. I no longer feel at home. I no longer feel such peace. I no longer feel safe. Everything just made sense when we were together.
But you no longer wanted to meet me in the middle. You no longer wanted to hold us up. You no longer wanted to keep our promises.
And yet here I stand, hoping one day you’ll come back around, because I was the only one who kept every word you couldn’t. I won the I love you more argument.
He once told me that stories can make someone immortal as long as someone else is willing to listen.
Too bad life doesn’t allow us to turn it’s gears, like a clock, when we need more time.
“We should get walking then. I don’t know how much life we have left but I don’t want to miss it.”
I kiss the guy who brought me to life on the day we’re going to die.
“My last message would be to find your people. And to treat each day like a lifetime.”
“I know I spent my life hiding there, but I did my best to live, too, and I want to share this place with you.” Rufus squeezes my hand. “Take me home, Mateo.”
“But if for some reason this plan doesn’t work, we need to promise to find each other in the afterlife. There has to be an afterlife, Roof, because it’s the only thing that makes dying this young fair.” Rufus nods. “I will make it so easy for you to find me. Neon signs. Marching bands.”
“I would’ve loved you if we had more time.” I spit it out because it’s what I’m feeling in this moment and was feeling the many moments, minutes, and hours before. “Maybe I already do. I hope you don’t hate me for saying that, but I know I’m happy.” “People have their time stamps on how long you should know someone before earning the right to say it, but I wouldn’t lie to you no matter how little time we have. People waste time and wait for the right moment and we don’t have that luxury. If we had our entire lives ahead of us I bet you’d get tired of me telling you how much I love you because I’m positive that’s the path we were heading on. But because we’re about to die, I want to say it as many times as i want- I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.”
“Did finding each other kill us?” “We were going to die before we knew each other.” Mateo says. “I know. But maybe this is how it was always written in the stone or the stars or whatever: Two dudes meet. They fall for each other. They die.” If this really is our truth, I get to punch whatever wall I want. Don’t try and stop me. “Thats not our story,” Mateo squeezes my hands. “We’re not dying because of love. We were going to die today, no matter what. You didn’t just keep me alive, you made me live.” He climbs into my lap, bringing us closer. He hugs me so hard his heart is beating against my chest. I bet he feels mine.
“Two dudes met. They fell in love. They lived. Thats our story.”
