#selfcare

Your “unhealthy” coping mechanisms ARE helping you cope with something. You don’t have to get rid of them all at once, but it can help to get curious about the ways you cope.

3 Questions to ask yourself:

what situations or feelings am I trying to avoid or soothe?

what do I get out of this coping mechanism?

can I add in any healthy supports to address my feelings?

When you have a little time and money, please buy yourself the toy you wanted that you didn’t get as a child, or that your family couldn’t afford.

When people treat you badly or you get rejected, it hurts. But just because it hurts, doesn’t make it true. Remind your pain that you have value, and that no one else can define your success but you

What does it feel like in your body when something is “right for you” ?

Finish this sentence, “My younger self deserved to feel _______”

Our love is powerful, even when we are feeling hurt

Instead of feeling like you need to get “everything done”, just focus on moving towards your goal:

If dishes are feeling impossible, move one dish from your room back to the kitchen. If showering feels challenging, start by moving your body towards the bathroom and maybe wash your hands with a nice soap.

Little steps towards your goal count as progress, and each steps gets you closer to where you want to be. Encourage yourself by saying, “I am moving toward my goals”

Do something special for your inner child. Childhood can be very unfair. Now that you’ve grown up, you can take time to confront your past self and show compassion. Imagine that your inner child can be many ages, from a toddler to a teen. How can you show up for past self in a positive way?

remanence-of-love:

It’s okay if all you did today was exist. You are a survivor

Boundaries vs Requests

When you center your own wants /needs you can clearly say what you will tolerate, and you define when you’ll remove yourself from situations that don’t fit those wants /needs.

Instead of saying “I want you to stop speaking to me like that”

Try “I am only going to have these conversations with folks who can maintain a calm tone of voice”

When you can step back and look at yourself from a different perspective, you can see what a hero you are for surviving all of that

The Selfcare Tea~

i push you away when i need you the most

Be the person who stops the cycle of hate by not passing it on to someone else..Don’t become the person who wrecked you…Don’t be that person to either yourself or to someone else…Be the beautiful result of the ugly process..