Send me your spiciest house confessions

For me, slytherin confession: sometimes not feeling very ambitious about something makes me question me sense of ambition at all.

Just wash your hands

Gryffindor, unironically: A scrunchie a day keeps the Corona away

Ravenclaw: I cannot begin to describe the millions of ways that is so not correct

Left On Read

Gryffindor: I think you like to tease me~

Slytherin to a Ravenclaw: Bro I’m not even fucking responding.

In a pinch

Slytherin: Like I was saying….

Gryffindor: Enough! The time for talking is over.

Slytherin: I really don’t know if that’s ever true.

CAUTION

Gryffindor: Rock slide? I didnt know rocks could slide.

Slytherin, sarcastically: No it’s a slide made of rock.

Gryffindor: Really!?

Slytherin: … no.

Vibin

Slytherin: *does anything*

Ravenclaw: omg do you HAVE to be so extra?

Slytherin: bro relax I’m litterally just vibing

Head empty

Slytherin: You have the IQ of a cockroach

Gryffindor: Take off the “roach” and it’ll be more accurate.

Adult content

Gryffindor: Why don’t they make spells for adults?

Hufflepuff: What?

Gryffindor: I mean like for… you know…

Ravenclaw, covering the hufflepuff’s ears: Because that is disgusting. Why would you say something like that?

Slytherin: I mean, he’s right. What’s the point of being a wizard if you can’t make attunable sex toys?