Next Gen

Graduated slytherin student: She’s on that Disclosure or whatever…

7th year slytherin: Do you mean Discord?

Left On Read

Gryffindor: I think you like to tease me~

Slytherin to a Ravenclaw: Bro I’m not even fucking responding.

Dude that’s dark

Hufflepuff: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Slytherin, quietly: hopefully in your bed…

Hufflepuff: What was that?

Slytherin: I SAID HOPEFULLY DEAD

Labels and titles

Slytherin: I like to do things subtly.

Ravenclaw: So you’re passive aggressive…

Slytherin: One time in 3rd year, I punched someone because they were making fun of my friend.

Ravenclaw: That’s not passive aggressive.

Hufflepuff: That’s aggressive aggressive.

In a pinch

Slytherin: Like I was saying….

Gryffindor: Enough! The time for talking is over.

Slytherin: I really don’t know if that’s ever true.

Quidditch practice

Slytherin: *whacks a practice ball agaisnt the goal post harshly*

Slytherin captain: Hey! Be careful with my balls, please.

Vibin

Slytherin: *does anything*

Ravenclaw: omg do you HAVE to be so extra?

Slytherin: bro relax I’m litterally just vibing

Bollocks

Slytherin: *throwing a coin at their friend instead of in the swear jar*

Other slytherin, laughing: look I know I’m hot but can yall stop throwing money at me?

Hex Girls

Slytherin: let’s go hex someone. *unbuttons robe to reveal a Quidditch bat*

Other slytherin: You are a delight and I would let you murder me.

Study hall

Abbey (slytherin): Bro if you want to help someone write an essay go write mine and go away.

Jo (slytherin): How about you write your own and I’ll fix it when you’re done?

Abbey: damn ok.