#silence
The thoughts are destroying me, the silence is deadly.
What was enough yesterday
seems no longer so.
I distract myself from what’s missing
with true and honest joy,
but the quiet moments are full
of so much silence
and longing.
“I love cemeteries… It’s a city of dead people that don’t talk back.”
.
~Anonymous
I sit in an empty room of my alma mater. Listening to the soft shuffling of tired feet. Parents late to see son or daughter. Some working after learnings complete. The town of education, a city in the day And slowly life ebbs off of its street Pert students itching to get away Curt to grab paper and stretch feet. I listen to the ghosts of my learning. Invisible hands, to answer deaf questions…
Morning tears on the green Bright with dawning sheen Calm was over the grove Thrashers hop from where they dove Picking feeding and pecking Chasing the tiny crawling Whirlwinds of life around Ignoring the peace for town. Spinning hums on the ‘phalt Fighting winter; polluting salt No rest in sleep No peace when we weep. Alone in the grove, toad sits. Holding simple, his wits Nibbling a long blade,…
Waiting…. A minute… two minutes. Three… maybe an hour. I haven’t really taken notice to how long I’ve been here. This place is like sitting in hot sludge. It’s warm and holds you tight. But there is a part of you that knows it’s toxic. That it is slowly draining the life out of your body. I could get out of here… but I feel as if I am being watched. Every once in a while I hear distant sounds…
There are days that I float in my head. Firmly planted on the ground I am astronaut and ground crew. I am the disconnection I lack the down protection. In my mind I soar wall to wall But my arm fails my call. I order a clench, a release. My fist balls, does not cease. The noises fade To make way for the visual parade. A gurgle, rumble Mind floats feet stumble. I hear voices soft on the air…
How did you come back in? Oldest and dreaded brother friend. I did not call, I did not invite, You washed over with solo-freight, To crush and drag me across the ground. Absent so, my guard was down. Now you’ve invaded my duo-peace I sit, breathe, calm; beg you to cease. Cold maniacal dragging along Slowing my trudging return The thick sheet from where I belong
Silence is a sound I’ve never heard. It’s a mystery in entirety. Alone in an empty room I hear A cacophony of sound A tirade of this and that That have nothing to do with the silence. Yet I still hear in that empty room, The music of the air The rolling of the dust And the drum rap ta tap Of the mice in the walls. To sit in solemn silence is a goal Out of reach for my own meditation. The band…
The thump of the heart A skip for some paint Flutter for the beat Pause, ative A Pause, ative B The types the flow Buh bum, buh bum, buh bum
Blindness falls on the children of the privileged. They come up and up and up and learn to replace themselves but not to better their surroundings. What care would they need put in anything that is not themselves? What effort should they really exude? How could they really make a difference? Their each only one person. Each only one. One made of each ignoring the problems around them. One made…
It will never hold you Like my pillow cuddles me Un-objectively, and full of nothingness. The void is welcoming like a lake It surrounds you, silences you Could drown you, or float you. Bliss of unknowing irresponsibility Surrounding the bright eyed coward. Boldly going where none ever could
hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak
- socks are quieter than bare feet on tile/wood and for the love of god don’t wear slippers/shoes if you can help it
- climbing ON the furniture will disrupt the pattern of your footsteps and make it harder to hear where you are in the house
- crawling will do the same and if you get caught crawling you can pretend you fell
- the floor near the wall can be really loud if the floorboards/carpet is old and not completely flush to the wall
- do NOT attempt to use a rolling chair to travel without footsteps. they are extremely loud and hard to steer
test around ur house to see what places make more noises than others when people are gone if you can
-stepping using the outside line of your foot as first contact minimizes the sound of ur step significantly,
-tippy toes are a thing for a reason, but putting all ur weight on one spot tends to get loud quickly. Using the above method in conjunction with keeping the majority of ur weight on the balls of ur feet (vs just ur toes) can make u silent on all but the creakiest of floors.
-test ur socks before hand. Some slide or make more noise than others, and falling could be catastrophic.
-wear close fitting, soft cotton clothing. Denim and silk like clothes will make noise whatever you do, and limiting excess folds limits the sounds they make
-note where the shadows fall naturally at night, and all the small places you can hide on short notice. Ambient light is inevitable in urban areas, and keeping still in a small dark space will decrease the risk of being seen. Remember, the eyes is attracted to motion. Stay still, and with appropriate camouflage (i.e. couch arm rest covers, throw pillows, blankets) their eyes will pass right over you
-use ambient sounds to cover any sounds you might make. The sounds of the fan, air conditioner, heater, or radiator will go a long way to cover any flubs
-if you need to escape more permanently, prep squeaky doors before hand by unlocking and opening them to the point the don’t squeak or with a can of wd40, and double check that no doors are latched before you try to escape. These sounds, more than anything else, will wake people up.
-make your escape path beforehand, and stash what you need to take as close to ur exit as possible. This way, you’ll make less sound and not be red handed if u end up being caught
I used a lot of these to get food from the kitchen when my mom rehoused to let me eat. This is so important. Share this, it could be the difference between whether someone eats today
Flashlights on your phone can be great. If your abuser isn’t around you and the kitchen is away from there, you can shine a light to make sure you aren’t stepping on an animal or something that will make noise at night.
If you really need to escape, plan from every room. For example- If my mom starts doing bad shit to me I have a plan to climb out one of my windows that faces the side of the house and scootch along the side of the house to the one roof ish area and from there I will lower myself down.
Don’t risk jumping out windows. This almost never ends good.
Learn which windows have screens. Learn how to take the screens off.
If you really need a place to hide, hide in a big old pile of stuffed animals all the way at the bottom. I have done this in the past while playing hide and seek, and multiple times my siblings only walked past as they called for me.
establish a common word with your friends, not text wise because your abuser may read your messages, so if you text them like “ Hey, did you see that rainbow today while you walked home?” So they know to call the police, or you can set it up where it’s an alert that you’re on your way to their house.
If you’re afraid of an attack in your room, keep a blunt object near your bed. May it be something not to obvious like a waterbottle full of water or maybe you have a dining table leg like my parents have downstairs next to the door. Just remember any weapon you can use against them, they can use against you.
•Regarding apartment settings and apartment complexes and other tips if running away from abusers•
•Walls tend to be extremely thin and sounds will pass easily through them so be careful if you are passing by them.•
•If your parents/guardians start abusing you in the hallways, parking lots, near the entrance of your apartment, be LOUD. Sound echoes in areas like that because of how close the structures are and someone will alert to police or come to assist you.•
•Ground floor victims, see if you have a basement. Chances are, if you go down, there will be a small escape on a wall which leads to a small sewer-like tunnel leading to level ground. This is typically used for fires but you can use it if you need to escape. Make sure to watch out for squeaky windows because these exits rarely get used.•
•Locate your “safe areas” once you’re out. Safe areas are public places where you are guaranteed to have care. Many single moms leave their unwanted/unable to care children in places because officials must take them. Safe places are police stations and fire houses. CHURCHES ARE NOT SAFE AREAS. They may seem like a cozy area but they are not safe areas.•
•If you are in an emergency situation where you need to cause panic to escape inside your home, see if you can locate sprinklers inside your home. Sprinklers will spray water if they detect smoke and high temperatures so if you can trigger them, they’ll start spraying water, giving you a perfect chance to escape through the chaos.•
•If you are planning on running away, prepare a crap ton of water if you plan to be moving by foot. You can last a month living on nothing but water but once you run out of water, you will not survive a week.•
•Be wary if you plan to run away to relatives. If you suddenly disappear, your abusers may suspect a kidnapping and the first place police check are relatives.•
•Scissors are a great weapon if you can’t fight. Scissors are pretty useless weapons, but the human mind sees the blades and recognizes as a sharp and dangerous object, even if it can’t cut anything. It might get your abuser to stop and listen to what you say if you’re wielding scissors. And they’re not suspicious objects to be carrying around at home or outside, if put inside a pencil case.•
•DO NOT EVER DROP ANY HINTS OR NOTES IF YOU ARE RUNNING AWAY.•
•Put your phone on airplane mode once you are out and moving. People can easily track your phone down if your wi-fi and other uses are on. It’s much difficult to locate you and your phone if airplane mode is on.•
•If you are trapped in a building and your abusers have hidden food from you, use nature. Do you have ants in your house? Follow them. Mice? Listen to where they seem to frolic the most at night. Cockroaches and fruit flies? Likewise.•
•Use nature as well to find out times and such if you are stranded once you have run away. Certain birds mean certain times. Dandelions are useful as fuck. The flowers shrivel up when sunlight starts to disappear so you have an idea of when night fall is.•
•When nightfall hits, find WARM GROUND. You are much more likely to catch hypothermia and such from sleeping on cold ground than cold air.•
•If you play an instrument regularly inside an apartment complex, it might play to your advantage. If neighbors realize that they can’t hear you practice for several days- or weeks- on end, they might become suspicious and report it. Especially if they have been suspecting abuse beforehand.•
•I typically don’t post things like this, but this can save a life.•
This is SO IMPORTANT
Silence Makeup Tutorial by Pinkstylist
Have a look at the Tutorials tab for all the tutorials we’ve come across. Join the…
THE OLD COUNTRY WAS NEVER PURE
#dirtyoldcountry
#oldcountry
#oldcountrynarratives
#originstories
#mythology
#demonictransference
#possesion
#demonicposession
#demonicposessionweek
#oldcountrydemonicorigins
#sulpher
#acid
#failedreligons
#faileddichotomies
#agitpropforromantics
#scaledtooutsize
#screaming
#silence
#forbidden
#lostblackriver
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