#so important right now

cinderlily:

hosiamoon:

catf8sh:

caitlintheawesome:

- when you get someone’s pronouns right, don’t pat yourself on the back. 

- when you get them wrong, don’t give a list of excuses. just say sorry, correct yourself, and move on! trust me, handling it this way is better for everyone.

- if someone gets your family member/friend’s pronouns wrong, only correct them if it’s a safe environment.

- people get frustrated when they are constantly misgendered. don’t blame trans people for being upset about this, especially if you’re the one who misgendered them.

- correcting people when they misgender you can be tiring. just because someone doesn’t correct you, doesn’t mean you’re right or that they don’t mind.

- people introduce their pronouns in different ways. sometimes it’s direct, like saying your name and pronouns. other times it’s through conversation, implying, or correcting. if you aren’t sure, ask when possible! 

- nobody cares if the person was being mean to you. that doesn’t mean you can misgender them. use peoples pronouns.

THESE ARE SO IMPORTANT

When you are corrected, don’t take it as an attack. It is a reminder, the person is helping you and leading you in the right direction gently. Be thankful and move on. 

helenathebabystripper:

ithotyouknew:

ithotyouknew:

It was a normal day and I was bored. My back hurt, my feet hurt, basically every body part hurt but I couldn’t leave, obviously, I needed the money.

This relatively unassuming man comes in, in a suit, the kind I see every single day. He opened with “you’re gorgeous,” I smiled and asked what I could do for him. He ignored that and told me he’d always loved Black women and if I wanted to hang out off the clock. Again, I smiled and asked what I could do for him. 

He leaned in, and put his hand on my arm. “Do you have a boyfriend?” I asked him why it mattered, he asked why I was being so mean. I told him “I’m just trying to work, dear, what can I do for you?” He said “you can go out with me.” I smiled and shook my head, wondering why he wouldn’t just tell me what he wanted and go. There was no one around and I knew if I said something to anyone, they wouldn’t do anything, anyway.

I finally got him what he wanted and he left, but not before letting me know he’d be back tomorrow. And he did come back. Every day for weeks. And every time, he made me feel uncomfortable, touching me when I said don’t, or otherwise looking at me in the most disgusting way. As I predicted, no one I told would do anything. No one cared. This guy was harassing me every single day and I had no recourse. In fact, some told me I should be grateful, since he was a good tipper. 

Anyway, that’s why I quit working at Starbucks.

The point of this post is to illustrate that women get harassed in every industry, not just sex work, by baiting you with what you think is a story about a client mistreating me, when really it was a customer at a coffee shop. This is super good writing here, I’m just saying.

This is so fucking important

wilwheaton:

ayellowbirds:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

shitpost-senpai:

prochoice-or-gtfo:

paintedspectres:

this-tragic-affair:

PETA: They’d rather spend their money on publicity campaigns than on the animals in their care. PETA killed 73.8% of the animals in their care in 2015 (x)

FCKH8: Is a for-profit company that exploits oppressed groups for money. They’re also wildly uninformed, and spread misogyny, cissexism and bi/panphobia, as well as stealing their posts/designs (x)

Autism Speaks: They spend most of their money on researching a way to eliminate autism, heighten the stigma against autism and don’t have a single autistic person on their board (x)

Please support other, better charities, and feel free to add any others you can think of to this.

Susan G. Komen for the Cure: CEO makes insane amounts of money, they deny a lot of requests for wigs/help with treatment/etc., and have attempted to sue other charities that use the color pink as part of their anti-breast cancer campaign. ( xxx )

The Salvation Army: They promote the hatred of LGBT+ people, work with fundamentalist Christian groups to support conservative politics and rip off and exploit workers. ( xxx )

Wounded Warrior: They take money that should be spent on veterans and blow it on huge opulent parties for the company bigwigs. 26 million in 2014 alone wasted! ( xxx)

^ Important reminder to NOT waste any money donating to these groups

Reblogging because of the added info about Wounded Warrior.

Signal boost.

zakuro-san:

laboradorescence:

maritimegothic:

i think a big thing that disconcerts adults about learning new skills is that learning as an adult means you are very aware of how bad you are at the beginning in a way children aren’t.

i picked up the saxophone when i was 11 and played until i was about 17. by the end of it i was first chair in our highest ensemble, a district honor band player, etc. but at the beginning – and this is important – i was bad. for the first year or so, i had no rhythm, i couldn’t make my tongue line up with my fingers, i was consistently sharp, etc. etc. other kids actually made fun of me for my lack of skill.

but 11 year old me didn’t care. 11 year old me practiced, but she also thought that being able to play the pink panther made her incredible (i shudder in retrospect). i mean, i was aware i wasn’t a master, but my skill level didn’t deter me from wailing out those notes in a way that i’m sure had my band director questioning his career decisions.

right now, i’m trying to pick up the guitar. it’s a very different instrument from the saxophone, and i struggle a lot with things like strumming patterns and barre chords. and sometimes i don’t want to play, because i know i’m bad at guitar. and sometimes i beat myself up when stumbling through a poor acoustic rendition of Everybody Wants to Rule the World because it’s not how i want it to sound. and it’s made even more frustrating because i can navigate the saxophone so smoothly.

but then i remember that i have to think like a kid. i might not be the best at guitar by any stretch of the imagination, but every little bit of progress is still progress.humility is a big part of learning, but if you treat a practice session like your own private concert, it becomes so much more fun, even if you’re bad like i am.  when you’re first picking up a skill, whether it be an instrument, or a language, or a fine art, no one is expecting you to be the yo yo ma of that thing. forget about how little you know about the skill and think instead about how much you have to learn – that’s fun! do your best!!

i find that as you get older, people think that you have less of an excuse to be bad at things, no matter when you started learning them

but after you get good suddenly people start praising you for “being ahead of the curve”

the instant you can start divesting yourself from this horrid world of expectation, the easier it becomes to try any new thing

Guys this is so important!! Give yourselves some slack and just keep on trucking! Just focus on yourself and be proud of what you have achieved so far. Even if what you achieved is a little thing, little pieces pile up eventually to something big! You’re doing great, keep it up :D

atotesoriginalname:

ask-aph-detective-nyo-korea:

ask-farmer-america:

eponinejosette:

justapassingstranger:

slimerat5:

soulsoaker:

turing-tested:

hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

• socks are quieter than bare feet on tile/wood and for the love of god don’t wear slippers/shoes if you can help it
  
• climbing ON the furniture will disrupt the pattern of your footsteps and make it harder to hear where you are in the house
• crawling will do the same and if you get caught crawling you can pretend you fell 
• the floor near the wall can be really loud if the floorboards/carpet is old and not completely flush to the wall
• do NOT attempt to use a rolling chair to travel without footsteps. they are extremely loud and hard to steer

test around ur house to see what places make more noises than others when people are gone if you can

-stepping using the outside line of your foot as first contact minimizes the sound of ur step significantly,

-tippy toes are a thing for a reason, but putting all ur weight on one spot tends to get loud quickly. Using the above method in conjunction with keeping the majority of ur weight on the balls of ur feet (vs just ur toes) can make u silent on all but the creakiest of floors.

-test ur socks before hand. Some slide or make more noise than others, and falling could be catastrophic.

-wear close fitting, soft cotton clothing. Denim and silk like clothes will make noise whatever you do, and limiting excess folds limits the sounds they make

-note where the shadows fall naturally at night, and all the small places you can hide on short notice. Ambient light is inevitable in urban areas, and keeping still in a small dark space will decrease the risk of being seen. Remember, the eyes is attracted to motion. Stay still, and with appropriate camouflage (i.e. couch arm rest covers, throw pillows, blankets) their eyes will pass right over you

-use ambient sounds to cover any sounds you might make. The sounds of the fan, air conditioner, heater, or radiator will go a long way to cover any flubs

-if you need to escape more permanently, prep squeaky doors before hand by unlocking and opening them to the point the don’t squeak or with a can of wd40, and double check that no doors are latched before you try to escape. These sounds, more than anything else, will wake people up.

-make your escape path beforehand, and stash what you need to take as close to ur exit as possible. This way, you’ll make less sound and not be red handed if u end up being caught

I used a lot of these to get food from the kitchen when my mom rehoused to let me eat. This is so important. Share this, it could be the difference between whether someone eats today

Flashlights on your phone can be great. If your abuser isn’t around you and the kitchen is away from there, you can shine a light to make sure you aren’t stepping on an animal or something that will make noise at night.

If you really need to escape, plan from every room. For example- If my mom starts doing bad shit to me I have a plan to climb out one of my windows that faces the side of the house and scootch along the side of the house to the one roof ish area and from there I will lower myself down.

Don’t risk jumping out windows. This almost never ends good.

Learn which windows have screens. Learn how to take the screens off.

If you really need a place to hide, hide in a big old pile of stuffed animals all the way at the bottom. I have done this in the past while playing hide and seek, and multiple times my siblings only walked past as they called for me.

establish a common word with your friends, not text wise because your abuser may read your messages, so if you text them like “ Hey, did you see that rainbow today while you walked home?” So they know to call the police, or you can set it up where it’s an alert that you’re on your way to their house.

If you’re afraid of an attack in your room, keep a blunt object near your bed. May it be something not to obvious like a waterbottle full of water or maybe you have a dining table leg like my parents have downstairs next to the door. Just remember any weapon you can use against them, they can use against you.

•Regarding apartment settings and apartment complexes and other tips if running away from abusers•

•Walls tend to be extremely thin and sounds will pass easily through them so be careful if you are passing by them.•

•If your parents/guardians start abusing you in the hallways, parking lots, near the entrance of your apartment, be LOUD. Sound echoes in areas like that because of how close the structures are and someone will alert to police or come to assist you.•

•Ground floor victims, see if you have a basement. Chances are, if you go down, there will be a small escape on a wall which leads to a small sewer-like tunnel leading to level ground. This is typically used for fires but you can use it if you need to escape. Make sure to watch out for squeaky windows because these exits rarely get used.•

•Locate your “safe areas” once you’re out. Safe areas are public places where you are guaranteed to have care. Many single moms leave their unwanted/unable to care children in places because officials must take them. Safe places are police stations and fire houses. CHURCHES ARE NOT SAFE AREAS. They may seem like a cozy area but they are not safe areas.•

•If you are in an emergency situation where you need to cause panic to escape inside your home, see if you can locate sprinklers inside your home. Sprinklers will spray water if they detect smoke and high temperatures so if you can trigger them, they’ll start spraying water, giving you a perfect chance to escape through the chaos.•

•If you are planning on running away, prepare a crap ton of water if you plan to be moving by foot. You can last a month living on nothing but water but once you run out of water, you will not survive a week.•

•Be wary if you plan to run away to relatives. If you suddenly disappear, your abusers may suspect a kidnapping and the first place police check are relatives.•

•Scissors are a great weapon if you can’t fight. Scissors are pretty useless weapons, but the human mind sees the blades and recognizes as a sharp and dangerous object, even if it can’t cut anything. It might get your abuser to stop and listen to what you say if you’re wielding scissors. And they’re not suspicious objects to be carrying around at home or outside, if put inside a pencil case.•

•DO NOT EVER DROP ANY HINTS OR NOTES IF YOU ARE RUNNING AWAY.•

•Put your phone on airplane mode once you are out and moving. People can easily track your phone down if your wi-fi and other uses are on. It’s much difficult to locate you and your phone if airplane mode is on.•

•If you are trapped in a building and your abusers have hidden food from you, use nature. Do you have ants in your house? Follow them. Mice? Listen to where they seem to frolic the most at night. Cockroaches and fruit flies? Likewise.•

•Use nature as well to find out times and such if you are stranded once you have run away. Certain birds mean certain times. Dandelions are useful as fuck. The flowers shrivel up when sunlight starts to disappear so you have an idea of when night fall is.•

•When nightfall hits, find WARM GROUND. You are much more likely to catch hypothermia and such from sleeping on cold ground than cold air.•

•If you play an instrument regularly inside an apartment complex, it might play to your advantage. If neighbors realize that they can’t hear you practice for several days- or weeks- on end, they might become suspicious and report it. Especially if they have been suspecting abuse beforehand.•

•I typically don’t post things like this, but this can save a life.•

This is SO IMPORTANT

skytheservicedog:

servicek9s:

1. ASK THE HANDLER

2. IF SAY NO THEN WALK AWAY 

3. IF SAY YES LET DOG SNIFF

4. IF DOG SAY YES, PROCEED WITH PETTING

5. IF DOGGO HAS A VEST ON JUST DONT ASK

IMPORTANT

talkabout-s:

- boys being the little spoon am i RIGHT, ladies and gents

fr3ight-train:

acutelesbian:

fat-thin-skinny:

acutelesbian:

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life.
Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

this fucks me up every single time

I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds I’ve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.

After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, “is love a feeling? Or is it a choice?” We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, we’d never have a lasting relationship of any sort.

She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.

Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the “feeling of love” had vanished or faded and they weren’t happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.

The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.

The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.

Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. I’ve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. I’ve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.

I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.

This is so fucking important and I think it’s something I needed right now