Conflict doesn’t scare me as much as peace does

It is a glass angel waiting to fall from grace

-n.a.

Up.

Then down.

Then up.

Conclusion -

1. So mostly up.

Good night // thethinkinggirl ☄️

“I seek love, yet I hide from it when it reaches out.

I seek the warmth of a lover but cower when it surrounds me.

I seek the words laced with honey but accept those filled with poison.

I seek eyes filled with adoration but find an empty space in front of me.

I seek someone in my sheets, my hands roaming to find someone, but only stumble upon blankets and cold sheets.

I seek a smile but find myself drowning in tears.

I seek a life filled with love but find myself running away when it finds me.

I wish upon the stars to find what I am seeking to find me before I yield and cower again.

I pray there comes a day where I’ll stumble upon all the things I yearn for and that the warmth, the smile will grab me with so much strength that I will have no choice but to accept it with everything in me.

Because for once, I’ll allow the love I run away from to fill me up with everything I wished upon the stars, and for once, I’ll smile without any fear.

It’ll look me in the eyes and tell me that what I had been seeking was just waiting for me to accept myself and be free of the chains.

The smile and the crinkle beside their eyes will tell me that I was everything they too were seeking for, and they were glad we found each other in a place that had no place of running away.

I seek for you, and I pray you also seek for me.

I wish upon the stars that when we find each other, it will all be enough.

Because baby, you’re all my wishes upon the stars.”

- g.d. (the stars)

“You’re always allowed to heal, always.”

- g.d.

“Sometimes you don’t realize there is underlying trauma until it surfaces to the top, and you wonder where it’s been all along and why it resurfaced when you were getting better. But that’s when you realize that it’s a test that must be passed, a wave that must be surfed and a scar that must be filled. And once it’s all passed, you can begin to heal again. And you realize the beauty that you can always, always heal again, and again.”

- g.d (limitless)

“And I hope that the love you’re searching for feels like the first ray of sun hitting your face.”

- g.d (the sun)

“Why should I settle for mediocre when I know I’m worthy of exceptional.”

- g.d. (settling)

“And she looked at the moon and asked if this was how life was supposed to be. If it was supposed to be hard and tiring. The moon smiled at the young girl wistfully and sighed. She knew that everything was wrong and she couldn’t fix it except listen to her woes and show up for her almost everyday. She was let down by everyone and would be let down by her as well. But at least she’d see the little stars she’d leave behind to be there for her constantly. It wasn’t enough but she hoped she’d realize that those who cared would always stay or leave things about themselves behind to be remembered by. And that they were never truly gone. And for that moment she shone a little brighter and stayed a little longer to listen to her woes before she disappeared for another day.”

-g.d. (moon and stars)

“If you drown, allow yourself to feel the depth of the ocean. And then resurface when you know that’s the deepest you can ever go. And promise to never to go beyond that.”

- g.d (but it’s okay if you do)

“I want to love you between my sheets, baby. Shower you with kisses and leave marks where nobody can see them. I want to be the one that makes you see the stars and the moon. Be the one who knows what you like and how you like it. The one who knows what makes you smile like that.Be the one you seek out at night for more than just a hug. I want to be more and be forever. I want to be yours baby, forever and ever. I want to be the one you love between the sheets.”

- g.d (sheets)

“I hope to love with the same abundance I choose to read. Endlessly and wildly.”

- g.d

“and moments like today remind me that the monsters continue to live inside my head, even if they’ve been silent for too long.”

- g.d (it’s never ending)

“I told him I was too me to be a part of his world. He smiled and caressed my cheek, his lips hovering over mine as he whispered, “and that’s why I love you so much baby, you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of.””

- g.d (love me for me)

“And this is to my mom. Ma, you deserve the world that you dreamed of giving me. You deserve the love you’ve showered me with and times infinity. You deserve everything you were robbed off, you deserve the stars and moons that you were told that you were not worthy of. Ma, you deserve everything the world did not give you. You deserve the world and I am sorry if I or the world ever made you that you deserved less than that. Everything that I am right now and everything I will be is because you were there every step of the way. And today I want to say you are worthy of so much and I am sorry if you ever thought you weren’t. You deserve everything and I will try my best to make sure you know that. And all the ‘I love you’ will fall short in comparison to everything you’ve done but I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

g.d. (ma) 

You know what it all comes down to?

The day you finally see that everything you are outweighs everything you aren’t.

The world has shifted when we decided to do that one thing, step out and be courageous.

To the past life lover

I don’t remember you but I have not forgotten you . ♥️

Oh, how wonderful it is to be changed by something, or someone. And oh, how more wonderful for that change to be acknowledged. Just remember to change not for something, or for someone, but for yourself.

I think it’s one thing to be born a pessimist and have heartbreaking experiences that confirm your doubts.

I think it’s a second thing to be born a realist and have heartbreaking experiences that hurt, but not in ways that aren’t foreseen.

I think the it’s a much different thing to be born an optimist and to have heartbreaking experiences that tear down your hope and alter your expectations.

I think the pessimist comes out, not much different, but with better understanding of the world and its cruel sentences.

I think the realist comes out a little different, with cosmic changes in strength and compassion.

I think the optimist, most of the time, is broken into an entirely new human being.

I am free, And god damn it feels good.

-whatisitgoodforabsolutelynothing