#vent art

I’m not a believer but I met an angel once and she was shaped like a cat.

svnddlsnts:

Day 9 - A Hidden Face

You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

“Reconciliation.”

A continuation of a vent(?)/group of pieces I wanted to make for awhile.

I was considering making this my first entry for Mindtober? run by @susite.art on instagram

i live in futility

“Nothing Unseen”

I’ve been experimenting with my artstyle lately, and I really liked how this turned out :)

“Tell me… Where am I supposed to go?”

i can’t go on living this way

Chronic illness sure is great, my fibromyalgia been kicking up again and I might end up back on full time sickleave if this continues. 

Back at scratch with my rehab training cuz of it which makes drawing a bit harder cuz of the fatigue and pain, which really sucks when all you wanna do is draw. So a lil quick vent art for that. 

Enjoy

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mood:  learning something you didn’t want to know

I’ve had periods of feeling like I’m not good enough. Being rejected by jobs, the possibility of being rejected from a school I want to go to, feeling like my best is not enough, and what hurts the most is feeling like your friends likes each other more than they like me, being the second choice of the person that is my first, and not being my parent’s favorite child. I should be doing better by the time this is posted though. Just before drawing this, I was so upset I cracked my phone screen in a rage because my favorite person had someone else as their favorite. It’s been a while since I drew this piece of vent art, this was actually my first digital drawing of this year.

Ever since I moved back to my college dorm back in august, I have barely had a whole night’s sleep without seeing a window in my dreams. More often than not, the window is broken by a person or an animal that tries to climb through it. Sometimes I try to peek through a window that is covered and sometimes I see someone else through a window. I don’t know for sure what these dreams are tying to tell me, but I have a slight idea. I thought that maybe I would solve this by drawing my dreams, but I still keep having them. One funny thing that should be a coincidence, but also could be related to this is that the same day as these dreams started, I had my first meeting with one of my closest friends when he climbed through my window to help because I forgot my keys.

I was visiting family the day after my birthday and it really bummed me out. They spoke to me as if they were speaking to her and when they gave me gifts, those gifts weren’t for me. They were meant for her. It’s not really their faulth because I never told them that she’s gone, but if they only paid attention to me, they would’ve noticed that I’m me. Maybe they did notice and decided to ignore it? I think i would have hated my old self less if people would just let her go and get to know me instead.


I got inspired by a friend who’s really good at drawing how they feel at the moment and I wanted to try it out. I’ve also been kinda tired of doing pretty much only fanart for many years and on top of that, I haven’t really drawn much lately. Partly because my computer is acting up and partly because I’ve been spending more time going out and being social on my free time outside of pottery classes lately. I used to spend almost all of my freetime alone in my room watching anime while drawing characters from said anime. That was the only time I was being my true self, I lived wearing a mask in front of everyone to the point that I didn’t know who I was. I did that for over 4 years until one day someone at the dorm at my school asked to hang out after I got back early from visiting home and that was the day I dropped the mask. I only put it back on during that summer when I was temporarily back in front of two computer screens next to each other, alone. After summer was over, I no longer felt the need of spending hours upon hours drawing in front of a screen. I still love art, but now that I have a group of friends that are basically found family at this point, I don’t feel the need to use it as a way to kill time. I’m now starting to find the me that was absent during all this time that I spent alone. Despite that, I still kinda miss being able to spend hours on my art. After a whole month of not making a single digital drawing, I finally whipped up this in a couple hours while charging my social battery. However, this piece is more about my current mental state surrounding my identity and social life than this little backstory. It’s been a lot lately with new friends, my artblock, a new fp and my dysphoria. I can’t really explain this with words, but I hope things will get better. It probably will, because I did what I thought would never happen; I dropped the mask.
this probably won’t get as much recognition as my fanart would, but I decided to do this anyways. This mental state might even be outdated by the time my queue reaches this post. I’m at least making this post in october, might probably not post until spring because my queue is still packed from the couple months of summer that I spent only drawing.