#actually delusional

psychosis ≠ schizophrenia

psychosis does not equal schizophrenia

psychosis ≠ schizophrenia

psychosis does not equal schizophrenia

Trying to sustain friendships with a certain Brand of men always proves impossible because my brain will at some point find something that clicks everything into place and then there’s nothing stopping me from assuming that damn, yet again, this man only got involved in my life because he is yet another host for the entity that claimed to be a fictional character to get near me only to severely traumatize me at the age of 12 so they could be able to use my empty husk of a body for their nefarious purposes. But I ran off to do my own thing and now they are still hounding me.

And then eventually I have to shut the whole friendship down before the weight of my instincts to do something about their supposed posession would crush it in a way more theatrical and hospitalization-inducing manner. I’ve been doing this over and over again for almost a decade. I have lost friends, the love of my life, business associates, etc, to this. It took me six years alone to realize what was going on. It will never fucking end.

As I’m writing this in a semi-self-aware state I still worry that They are watching me and are happy that I lulled myself into a false sense of security by thinking I’m “only mentally ill”. So usually I never talk about it. It’s a fucking trap either way.