#psychiatrist
09.03.20 / A long visit day in the Brain Hospital✨
Meeting with a new psychiatrist like
“Your problem is, you need to get more fun out of life.”
-Dr. Hannibal Lecter, “The Silence of the Lambs”
Diagnosis
Diagnosis - In which I am quite sarcastic about Oppositional Defiance Disorder amongst other things.
I’ve been thinking a lot about diagnoses recently. I’m not ready to talk about all of mine yet but since I just had my last psychiatrist appointment I do want to talk about that.
In one sense my psychiatric treatment has been very successful. I’ve been prescribed a medication that seems to be working. I’ve been able to make decisions about my creative path and stick to them. I’ve been much more…
So I saw a really interesting post about figuring out who you were before your depression and how to be that person again after you start to gain some control over your depression. Reading that explained a lot about how I’m feeling right now. I’ve been on 40mg Lexapro for about 2 weeks now and I’m definitely seeing a difference in myself, however I’m having a hard time getting comfortable with myself. Like this person that I am now; clearer, quieter, mind, much more care free, over all happier person, is someone I am VERY unfamiliar with. This person is someone I haven’t seen since I was about 9 years old. So I’m really unsure how I should feel about this, whether it’s the real me or just the medication. Either way this person is a stranger.
I never thought that my mental illness defined me as a person but it’s all I’ve known for nearly 90% of my life. Moving into these uncharted waters is extremely unnerving.
The Golden Girls
Season 2
Episode 1 End of the Curse
NOTE: I completely support mental and emotional support from licensed psychiatrists/therapists/etc. Her 1986 reaction just makes me laugh every time!
She asks me questions
As the afternoon light
Stripes up the wall
She gradually unlocks my psyche
Tapping keys onto
A screen turned carefully away from me.
I wonder why
I’m not allowed to see my answers
Did they gain new meaning
Transcribed on her display?
She asks
I answer
And a verbal piece of a mental puzzle
Is typed into place
But the goal isn’t a perfect picture this time
It’s finding where the table top
Peeks through the gaps
So I sit here
Rereading her degrees
And waiting
For her to find the cracks
That I can feel
Spreading