#anxiety
5 Books to Close Out Mental Health Awareness Month
5 Books to Close Out Mental Health Awareness Month
#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #books #bookrec #amreading
Hey everyone! Happy Memorial Day weekend to my US friends, and for everyone else, happy end of May!
Today is the post I’ve been putting together for Mental Health Awareness month, and as I was reviewing the books on my list, I realized two things: 1) I have shared many of these books multiple times before, and 2) I need to read some new ones! So if you have new favorites you’d like to share with…
I’m just saying….
make me a mover, mama.
not a spinner
not a shaker
not uncharted,
unfounded
Believe me into something wider
Deeper
Stronger
Faster
Meanderer
taker of time and
time’s long taken
Open-mouthed
flooding pastures lie ‘neath azure skies
in fields, fields let fallow
see me setting roots of stubborn shoots
emerald gold and
New
with my washing
and my waiting
tides losing ground
seasons clocked: wound, wounded boundaries: mudded, blurred
over iron, copper, broken jade smoothed under.
please, God, make me a River.
You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down (never)
You, you enchant me even when you’re not around (never)
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down (never)
I’m latching on, babe, now I know what I have found (never)
I feel we’re close enough
I wanna lock in your love
I think we’re close enough
Could I lock in your love, baby?
Now I got you in my space
I won’t let go of you (never)
Got you shackled in my embrace
I’m latching on to you (never)
: :
These are just a few lines of a new song recently dropped by Disclosure featuring Sam Smith. I personally believe it is perfectly suited for rush hour driving- the beat and electronic edge will keep you alert while Sam Smith’s full vocals are soothing enough to ease even the toughest traffic-jammed commute. When this came on my car radio I shazaamed the crap out of that thing in about 14.5 seconds. But aside from the sound- have you listened to those lyrics? This song reads like the theme song for a Law and Order SVU stalker special, and if it doesn’t make you feel a little sick it probably should. Here are a few lines and a couple of my own thoughts they inspired:
“If there are boundaries // I will try to knock them down”
So it turns out, boundaries are a Thing. They matter.
Without boundaries, you will soon be without relationship.
I picture trying to use a molten key- when it fuses to the lock, the key and the lock both stop working. *And you’re in big trouble, because that locked door was supposed to be your grand escape from that freaking HUGE dragon chasing you!
Healthy boundaries aren’t barriers to relationship- they actually provide the context for relationship where each party is respected by the other and free to be[come] themselves! They establish lines where trust can be cultivated and vulnerabilities can be shared, making way for authentic community.
“Now I got you in my space
I won’t let go of you (never) //
Got you shackled in my embrace
I’m latching on to you (never)”
Unfortunately, vulnerability can be used to manipulate others- whenever we offer a piece of ourselves to someone with the goal of keeping them close, we’re trying to use another person to meet our own needs. When our legitimate desires for intimacy and love become demands, we’re turning the relationship into a business deal- a case of supply and demand. Who wants their friend or loved one to turn into their dealer? One thing I’m learning to do is reevaluate my decision to invite someone into “my space”- if it’s so my own anxieties can be temporarily silenced or I can feel back in control, then I have a problem.
“I’m latching on, babe // now I know what I have found”
But that’s easier said than done. I mean, when someone offers you a taste of those things you crave- to be known and loved for who you are- what do you do? Some people run away and go into avoidance/emotional numbness mode. (If that’s you, I may not have anything to offer you,at least not that you’re likely to connect with right now: in fact I’m not going to lie- I’m a little jealous of your ability to go into full-on hermit-ninja mode.) If you’re anything like me, this is a “just add water” recipe for CRAZY- the kind that involves the worst (and let’s be honest, incredibly obvious?) forms of deception and manipulation, both of the self and the other person- all in the name of “love.” Ugh.
Henri Nouwen talks about the tendency within each of us to latch onto the things we think will bring us life- especially other people. He uses the analogy of two hands clenched together as in fervent prayer. In the long term, this isn’t sustainable, and when one or both hands try to withdraw, there’s inevitable pain and strife. Instead he encourages people to approach each other with mutual respect and care- using the image of hands again, only this time with fingers straightened, palms pressed against each other. There is power in presence. Especially when that presence fosters freedom.
In the tradition of “Things My Baby/Toddler/Small Child is Crying About.”
I got a subscription to a master class website I very much wanted. Unfortunately, that means creating a new account, getting started/navigating the new interface, and using it to select the classes I want to see.
And then someone else, who likes the opposite screen brightness and cannot get close enough that we can both the screen at the same time, asked to see the screen and help. Yeah, that wasn’t going to work, and it was too much.
I now want to hide somewhere by myself and do something calming, repetitive, and mostly mindless.
tl;dr: even when it’s a gift and people are being nice to me, starting new accounts at new websites freaks me out. Whatever you do, PLEASE don’t give me a subscription to anything, no matter cool it sounds.
It’s okay to not be okay. Take some time to freak out, and then move on. You can always try again tomorrow. Falling apart does NOT mean you’re any less strong.
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You did your best today, and that’s fantastic! Situations aren’t always very easy to get through, and sometimes we disappoint ourselves because we don’t live up to our own expectations. Throw those expectations out a window, and just be you. Do the best you can, and be patient with yourself. We’re always our own worst critic.
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You’re no less of a person just because you didn’t have a good day. Good days do not define worth. Stay alive, take care of you, stay hydrated, eat if you can, wear comfy clothes, watch something funny on TV. And tomorrow is a new day. Could be a day. Could be a good day. We won’t know until its here. And if it’s not a good day tomorrow… Well, have a day
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Social anxiety is weird. I know I’m not bothering people by liking and reblogging from them, but at the same time, I can’t stop feeling like I’m definitely bothering them.
anxiety.
Or, you know, you could just stop saying sorry.
I take it you don’t have anxiety.
You can’t “just stop saying sorry”. You do something, something so little, like accidentally bump into someone. You feel horrible about it. Your brain starts panicking and you have trouble trying to breathe. You stutter an apology. They say it’s okay, but you accidentally do it again, and you apologize again. They just say “Aha, you can stop saying sorry.” And you feel horrible that you’ve probably made them angry or upset, so you mutter out an apology for the third stupid time, and they just say to stop saying sorry. Stop saying sorry.
You can’t just tell someone to stop saying you’re sorry.
I want that comment on flyers so I can hang them in my school
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I’m proud of you for beating all your worst days, you’re doing great! My inbox is always open
I think its sweet me and my dog both have anxiety, we help eachother out. For example if he gets anxious I can sit with him and calm him down, and when I’m having a panic attack he will throw up on the floor so I have to get my shit together so I can scRUB NEON ORANGE STAINS OUT OF THE CARPET. THE LITTLE BASTARD.
Not going to lie, the immense ammount of pressure I have put on myself through school and college was horrible and a big distraction to the point that now I have time to relax I’m constantly anxious.
military brat culture is having mental health issues that you’re 90% sure stem from having a military brat childhood but not being able to talk about it without being called ungrateful
all the neurotypical people i know seem to just need one breakthrough to figure their problems out and get out of a bad thought cycle. i feel like i’d need a major breakthrough everyday just to be on the same level as they are
