Mc:Belphie hasn’t stopped staring through the window since the storm started

Mc: I suppose i should let him in

Mc:[pointing at a bruise]Who did this to you?

Belphie: Aw you care about me?

Mc: No, I wanna thank them

Belphie: I’m gonna be honest, I feel like you don’t like me.

Mc:I’ve told you multiple times that I don’t.

Diavolo: If we put Mc and Belphegor in a room, who would come out crying first?

Lucifer: The room.

Belphie:I made a mistake. Are you going to help me fix it or are you going to continue to berate me?

Mc:I am perfectly capable of doing both at the same time.

Attic Club Sandwich x GN!Mc

When you wanna have some fun with Beel after his shower, but you have to invite your sleepy boy as well

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Easter Eggs & Adoption

☆

Hey! So Easter is coming up and I wanted to write something special!

Child MC has been in a lot of my asks lately, so I decided that that would be the right way to go!

**note~

So I made this a while back, but I finished writing it today.

Hoping it’s still Easter somewhere…

Anyways, I think this was my favourite fic to write yet! Check the bottom notes, as I clarify the relationships I was trying to convey there.

☆

All throughout the room there were sounds of eggs popping open and candy wrappers, and, not surprisingly, Lucifer’s complaints.

“I really don’t see why we’re doing this.”

“For the kid, dingus!”

Mammon has to bow his head to miss it colliding with Lucifer’s flailing arm. He doesn’t, however, miss Lucifer’s deathly glare.

“MC mentioned Easter to Luke, and they’ve been raving about it for weeks, Luci.” Simeon shakes his head with a fond smile.

Solomon speaks up, mouth full of chocolate. “Where are we gonna hide the eggs, anyways?”

Solomon glaces over his shoulder to Diavolo, whom is sitting on the floor surrounded by bags of candy and colourful eggs, Barbatos to his left. He then turns to the brothers.

There are only three armchairs in the room, taken up by Lucifer, Solomon and Simeon. Lucifer is surrounded by Asmo, Beel, Mammon, and Satan at his feet, all dutifully filling up eggs with little chatter. Levi and Belphie are off to the sides. They had originally planned to race—Levi was still trying to do so—but Belphie fell asleep in an oddly painful looking position on the stone floor.

Solomon is more so on an automan than an armchair, he must admit, facing towards the majority of the brothers and the fireplace, legs in a criss-crossed position and eggs around him.

Barbatos and Diavolo are, as said, behind the white-haired wizard on the rug. Diavolo seems completely content where he is, while Barbatos seems a little tense in that my-face-is-blank-so-you-totally-can’t-tell-what-I’m-feeling way. Which, Solomon totally can. He’s been around Barbatos enough to know his little anxious tics. Did it take nearly eight months to figure out? Yes. But still.

It seemed that the brothers and Diavolo—Diavolo especially—had been trying to get Barbatos to loosen up for nearly years. Telling him that he was more family than butler, asking for his opinion, offering him breaks. It seems that MC truly did the trick, getting Barbatos to speak up about the brother’s unfitting behavior of a child’s caretaker. Solomon is happy to see the guy protect someone so fiercely and actually speak up. The butler’s usual arrogant silence annoys the shit out of him.

“I was thinking my garden, perhaps?” Diavolo.

Solomon turns with a nod, shoving some more candy in a cheap plastic egg.

Diavolo goes to speak up again, at the same time as Barbatos, who grimaces as their voices collide. Diavolo tells the blue haired man to carry on with what he was saying.

“Ah, perhaps I could hide the eggs? I’m sure you would all like to relax and—”

“Darling, really.” It’s Asmo who speaks up this time, turning and setting his elbow on his knee. “You don’t have— y'know what? No. You’re not fucking doing this on your own. We’re hiding them too!”

Lucifer let’s out a warning, “Asmo, calm yourself.” As Barb turns to Diavolo, gouging his reaction. Diavolo smiles and nods.

Thats when they hear the scream, and turn to see you running in slamming the door behind you, putting your back to it.

“MC?” You turn to the speaker, Simeon, with a flushed face a wide smile.

“Mhmm?” You cock your head to the side, panting heavily.

That’s when Luke bursts in the door, almost slamming you into the wall. Though, Barbatos appears (as he does) to pull you out of the way of the door, holding you steady by your shoulders.

Luke is just as breathless as you, face an alarming shade of red, hair glued to his forehead with sweat.

He lunges forward, hand colliding with your shoulder almost violently, screaming joyfully, “you’re it, MC!”

At the declaration everyone breathes out a sigh of relief, for it was not a shove, but a game of tag.

Before a single being blinks, both children are scurrying out of the room at a rapid pace, giggling with joy. Simeon just shakes his head with a fond grin.

“MC is an orphan.” The whole of the room turns to Diavolo, confused at the sudden outburst with no context.

“Pardon?”

“If they perhaps… wanted to stay? I wouldn’t be against it.”

The topic weighs heavily on the room. There had been jokes, occasionally someone would make a comment. It was only now that it was brought upon them. Lucifer couldn’t help but think about it as if it were a bomb, waiting to blow.

“I’m all for it.” Belphie slurs sleepily from the corner. This pulls a giggle from Asmo’s chest.

Satan speaks up for the first time since the group had entered the library. “Perhaps… it is not the brightest idea.”

“Why the hell not?!” Comes Mammon’s voice, thick with anger.

“We really must think about this. If they were to stay in Purgatory Hall, or perhaps the Palace, I would not be against it. However… between Lucifer and I’s tempers, Beel’s… consumption rate, the incident with Belphie, Levi’s apathy, not to mention the fact that we are literal demons…. well, I simply do not think this would be the right… environment for them to grow old in.” Satan came out with this all slowly, his face sympathetic as to try and tamper down any offense he must have caused. As expected, the room is completely devoid of any noise.

Except Lucifer’s voice.

“You… hold in your temper well, Satan. We will all have to make adjustments, but… I do believe you would be an… adequate guardian, at the least.” It is the kindest thing that Lucifer has ever said to Satan. Or maybe the only kind thing that has been shared between the two (not counting the time you broke down crying over an argument they were having, which was quickly wrapped up in favor of awkwardly hugging one another and assuring you all was well).

The room is silent, but of course, Asmo has to point out everything remotely cute or sweet, and in silence Diavolo is about as awkward as an elongated goose trying to step inside a mouse hole.

“Aweee!!”

“You really do have to work on your temper, darling.” Diavolo laughs at the glare he receives from his boyfriend.

“Wait! Are we not going to talk about how cute that was? Now hug! Makeup—or makeout I don’t care—!”

“I could cut down on eating a bit! I don’t want MC to be hungry…”

Simeon just laughs, shooting Beel a comforting smile before gliding over to Asmo and setting a hand on the effeminate man’s shoulder, giving it a pat, and looking back to his larger red-head brother. “No one will begrudge you your food, Beel. We know it hurts.”

“Yeah, and there is plenty of food!”

“There really is! You’re OK, Beel!”

Soon enough Asmo is seated by Barbatos, leaning on his shoulder, whilst Simeon chats softly with Lucifer and Satan. Beel has moved to prop Belphie’s head in his lap, filling the eggs that Belphie had collected in a race to appease Levi. Mammon is leaning back against Lucifer’s legs, quiet for once, just listening, seemingly a peace. Though, he occasionally stuffs a chocolate in his mouth or pocket.

Solomon is still on the automan, filling eggs. He pauses every few moments to glance around the room. He never thought he would see this peace, this happiness, and yet here it is.

He cannot help it. He’s curious, and he turns to Diavolo, seeing the prince staring lovingly at his lifelong friend and butler. Solomon gazes at the uptight, fidgety man to find him, too, at peace, with Asmo at his side.

His gaze travels back to Diavolo, and they share a knowing look. Then, the Prince is stealing the little room left on the automan, and they’re filling eggs together. Diavolo does most of the talking, filling the space with warm noise that makes Solomon feel fuzzy and lightheaded.

Maybe, he dares to think, maybeI'll have a family.Maybe I already do.

But, one thing he knows for sure, is that you will.

Because it lays unsaid, but ultimately known. And in the air he can almost smell the warm (and slightly plastic-y) scent of Easter eggs and adoption.

☆

I feel like I need to clarify!

The only official relationship I show in here is DiaLuci, but there are hints of Barb x Asmo!

I have had trouble deciding how I wanted to write these characters for awhile now. It’s like I had the whole puzzle finished except I was missing on piece.

The was I was writing characters, mainly the Undateables, felt very OOC.

It was really fun to experiment with all the characters in one room and really develop their personalities in my eyes.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Brothers + Undateables: Christmas Activities

☆

Christmas Special

Oop, well here’s this.

Dunno what to refer to the previous Undateables now,,,,, uh

Enjoy!!

☆

Lucifer

• Celebrating… really anything has never been Lucifer’s forte. He doesn’t like crowds, loud noises, and his music taste is not matching that of who made the playlist for most, if not all of Diavolo’s balls.
• Though he put up with it, for one of maybe his only two friends.
• And then you came, and he started putting up with it gor you too.
• But standing here, in one of the lounging rooms in the palace with everyone… everyone important, at least, he finds that he’s enjoying himself.
• And if he suddenly seems a bit more interested in the cheery music coming from Mammon’s D.D.D. in the corner only because you start tapping your foot to the beat..? Well, no one will notice.
• Perhaps the awestruck low-level demons won’t the only good things about a party.
• Maybe you and his family— Barbatos, Diavolo and maybe even Simeon and his little pipsqueak included—were good too.
• Though the cheeky sorcerer was not included in the family. He’d pissed Lucifer off more times then necessary.
• You had too, but on well.
• Lucifer wasn’t much on PDA, but now, happy and not as anxious as he was before, he leans back into the cushions and slides his arm on top of the couch behind your head. He smiles as you lean back.
• You had forcefully pulled him out of bed this morning and thrown a, quite frankly, absolutely horrendous sweater at him. It was scary how fast he gave in.
• He was sorta glad he wore it though. Everyone else had a ugly sweater.
• He pulled you to the side, placing a chaste kiss against your forehead.
• He was enjoying him, strangely enough.

Mammon

• Shenanigans never end with Mammon.
• He tried, though. Saying that he would give his brothers a grace period on the prank for a bit.
• But, walking into the store to see all the Christmas decorations, and even better, loads of glitter… oh, the ideas were starting to well up in his head.
• He made stupid mistakes, no doubt. Mammon was emotional and clumsy, but not dumb. When he wanted to annoy his brothers, he would.
• So soon, a few cases of glitter were thrown in the basket, and you smirked at eachother.
• Soon you also had a few noise makers and cheap instruments you could fill with glitter and blow on.
• And of course, you could get a leaf blower from The House of Lamentation’s garden shed.
• Diavolo would be coming over Christmas eve, as he would be too busy on Christmas, so that’s when you planned to do it.
• You had turned the air conditioning off that night, standing on latter’s to shove as much glitter in the vents as you could.
• “What… are you doing”
• Mammon jumped, and you went to steady him on the latter.
• “What the fuck? Were ya tryin’ ta kill me?!”
• The blond brother just shook his head with a sigh. “Just tell me when you plan to… do whatever you’re planning to do. I want to be out by then.”
• You smiled and chirped out a quick, “alrighty! Night Satan! Get some sleep!” As he walked off.
• And soon it was Christmas eve.
• Everyone was there. The brothers, Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Solomon, and Luke.
• Mammon was late, and only you knew why. Satan had already been given the signal to leave.
• Finally, after a few complaints about how hot it was, the AC kicked in, glitter tumbling out of the vents in clouds.
• Lucifer just stared up at the vents, eyes wide and mouth open. You threw your arms around the suddenly speechless man, letting out a rather loud and quite mischievous; “Merry Christmas!”
• Mammon snapped a photo.
• If Diavolo wasn’t there, you’d both be dead on the spot.

Levi

• He just wanted to sit inside and play videos games, read manga, and do all the things you do on a daily basis.
• Though, at one mention of the possibility of newvideo games, he was up-an-at'em.
• And soon, you were both at a store.
• While there were a lot of things he pointed out were things he wanted, occasionally he would stop and brush his fingers against a makeup palette. Tell you about how Asmo had hated it and how little pigment there was in it. About how Satan had wanted this specific book terribly, but he had it now, so there was no need to get it for him.
• He was rather good at picking out presents that would suit each of his brothers perfectly. Things that you would see but your eyes would travel over in your gift buying panic.
• A peacock feather quill and royal blue ink for Lucifer. Levi also threw in some chamomile tea, knowing of Lucifer’s sleep troubles.
• A simple gold stretchy bracelet that had a single little gem in one of the segments. Something comfortable, easy to match, and stylish. For mammon.
• A pack of clips and hair ties of multiple different colours with tiny charms on them for some extra flair. For the avatar of lust, of course.
• For Satan, a nonfiction book on cars, that, on the outside looked boring, but if you opened it, you would see it was riddled with information and puns.
• For Beel, not food, but a badminton set. Something he had apparently not played before, that Levi hoped he might like.
• And lastly, for his brother Belphie, a sherpa blanket and sherpa socks. Something warm and soft.
• Levi actually ended up enjoying Christmas, spending it with you, telling you stories about stupid things his brothers have done.
• And everyone enjoyed their gifts. Lucifer even cracked a smile, bringing Levi in for a— well it wouldn’t really be called a hug. More of pulling Levi a little too roughly into his chest and patting his back.
• Levi got tons of presents himself, but for once, he seemed a little more focused on the smiles on everyone’s faces then the gifts piled near him.

Asmo

• Asmo is always stressed this time of year. He loves his brothers, and takes on the responsibility of trying to get them the absolute best presents.
• This can land you with a very frazzled Asmo refusing to take a second to breathe as he does that angry mom walk across the store, leaning on the buggie.
• He honestly doesn’t know how he’s managed all the holiday celebrations before this one without you.
• After he full on breaks down after forgetting where a certain section in his favorite store is, you decide on a plan.
• Get bags and wrapping, then one brother at a time. If you don’t something that you think suits them, they go on a list to online shop for, or make something for.
• Levi was the easiest to buy for, so you started with him.
• You both slowly went down the list, walking around the store, hands intertwined.
• At one point you picked him up, letting his sit on your shoulders so see over the crowd, enjoying his giggles.
• Everyone did in fact enjoy their presents from the both of you.
• You received a present from Asmo, a baby pink heart locket with the date you both started dating engraved inside.
• He received a penguin onesie from you, of which he put on immediately.
• Everyone was happy, and to say Asmo was happy you were there was an understatement.
• Finally someone understood him.

Satan

• He just wanted to read.
• Or at least, that’s what he said, until you brought out the cat Christmas sweater. You could see the childish gleam in his eyes.
• He never really had grown up.
• Christmas shopping with Satan was… interesting, to say the least.
• He was constantly pointing out things and telling you about a part of a book he read, all while bouncing around with a smile on his face. Truly adorable.
• It was nice, though, his letting loose. Ranting about things and actually fucking relaxing.
• The childish energy seemed to stay, though. Him chattering through dinner about something.
• Asmo shot you odd looks, mouthing, “how?!” all throughout dinner.
• It was entertaining to say the least.
• Lucifer even asked you if you gave him alcohol.
• He seemed to calm down as time went on, just more smiley. Until Christmas day.
• You all sat around the tree, Diavolo actually managed to get some time to spend with you all.
• Satan was beside you, hiding his large smile in a scarf you had given him a while back.
• He truly seemed proud at the smiles that lit up on everyone’s faces when they opened the presents you both picked out. He held you hand and squeezed a couple times.
• He enjoyed his gifts, of course, but he seemed to like the happy vibe of the room. The smiles on people’s faces that totally turned the energy of the usually depressed and tense house around. He seemed to like the praise at the well thought out presents.
• He seemed really, truly happy.

Beel

• Beel had, surprisingly, thought out everyone’s presents extremely thoroughly. So thoroughly, in fact, that it was almost scary.
• He had actual fucking LISTS. Long lists. Naughty list long lists.
• Though, it seemed he knew exactly what he was doing.
• You had mentioned Christmas shopping to him around the first of December.
• His reply?
• “Oh yeah. I think I got that done in… November? Maybe October. I do need wrapping materials though.”
• This man.
• This hunk of an amazing hungry man.
• Had made lists miles long of what to get each person for Christmas and gotten all his Christmas shopping done almost two months early.
• So you found yourself in a store, getting wrapping paper and gift bags for Beel and getting presents for the boys.
• Why Neel being the only somewhat mentally stable brother and the only organized one surprised you, you had no idea. He also seemed like the only one that actually took care of himself, thank devildom for that.
• Christmas with him was fun.
• He reminded you of that centaur from Gravity Falls that kept flexing through his sweaters, though he didn’t get the reference.
• He enjoyed his gift from you, but enjoyed spending time with you most of all.

Belphie

• “What? Christmas?” He sits up and rubs the sleep from his eyes, brows furrowed. “Christma— OH FUCK.”
• The usually less than active Belphie is soon dragging you through the doors of some store and grabbing a basket.
• He explains to you—avoiding hitting into people to the best of his abilities—that he had forgotten about Christmas. Apparently the decorations were no good hints.
• Though he cared about his brothers, no matter how much they could suck, and he was determined to get them presents.
• Though that ended up with his sleepily pointing out things while being pushed around in the basket.
• Soon you had the presents, and rushed home to wrap them.
• He actually chose some nice things for his brothers, even in the rush.
• And, he throughly enjoys the heat from the fireplace as he sleeps on your lap and ignores the company on Christmas day.

Diavolo

• You bet this bitch already has the presents for everyone ordered.
• Actually no, he doesn’t.
• “So, uh, what if we make them?”
• This clearly annoys Barbatos. You’re around him enough to see the slight tinge of his brow that shows that he’d rather Diavolo just do his damn work.
• Though, you don’t have to be around Barbatos often to see the surprise when Diavolo asks Barbtos to join the two of you.
• Soon you’re all sitting at a table. Barbtos is in more casual clothing as per Diavolo’s request.
• Diavolo has a large smile on his face, and Barbatos’s lips are quicker at the edges as he watches his young master.
• You all handwrite the letters and make little trinkets for each brother and the other guests.
• You have a lot of fun, and everyone seems rather pleased about the hand-made gifts.
• Either way, it was a Christmas to remember.
• And soon Diavolo is back to work, but not before bringing you somewhere private, placing a kiss against your forehead, pulling you into a hug and saying, “I finally feel like I have a family again.”

Barbatos

• Oh boy.
• Barbatos doesn’t want to wear the Christmas sweater, afraid it’s not formal enough.
• Doesn’t want to mess around, go Christmas shopping, relax.
• He’s running himself ragged for no reason except feeling the need to do something.
• Christmas in devildom can be quite calm, besides the crowds in stores and the heightening crime rate that brings in a little extra paperwork for Diavolo.
• But all important members of society’s visits that Barbatos is usually preparing for are postponed. Not happening.
• These import people are at home with their families.
• Barbatos has nothing to do, and he’s afraid he’s forgotten something.
• So he is now on break, sitting on your bed in The House of Lamentation, being waited on for the first time in years.
• “Kitten, I assure you, I can get i—”
• “Sit your old fucking ass down, I swear.”
• Barbatos slowly sits back down, eyes widening.
• “Listen. We are going to go downstairs and bake Christmas cookies. And if they’re not perfect, that’s fine. If they burn while we make out, that’s fine. But goshdarnit, dude, chill!”
• Barbatos reddens at that, and laughs a little too.
• “Alright, dear.” He replies, all too amused. He pulls you into a hug.
• When Diavolo and all of Purgatory hall come over, you and Barbatos’s badly decorated cookies are gone with minutes.
• And Barbatos was happy to find that the Christmas presents you helped him pick out for everybody were greatly appreciated.
• “Perhaps I should take breaks more often.”
• “Yeah, dumbass, your other boyfriend and I have been telling you that for months.”
• Cue the eyebrow raise.

Simeon

• Knows what everybody whats before they even write it down on their Christmas list.
• And already has it before then too.
• He is cheeky though, sneaking a little glitter into Lucifer’s gift bag, something sure to annoy the avatar of pride.
• You both spend Christmas mostly hanging out. Watching Christmas movies and talking about childhood memories.
• His are strange compared to yours, but he is an angel, so he grew up… rather different.
• You spend a lot of time with Luke as well, letting him sit on your lap as you tell him stories.
• You both have a lot of fun.
• And, of course, opening the presents are just as fun.
• Watching Lucifer open his, the man’s eyes darting to Mammoth before settling on Simeon.
• Simeon’s sheepish smile back, blinking innocently at the prideful demon across the room.
• Simeon had you at least half in his lap the entire time you were all together, setting his head on your shoulder.
• You all had a lot of fun, laughing and singing.
• Simeon loved this time of year.

Solomon

• This bastard didn’t take a single present seriously.
• He came in with that smirk and hands full of wrapping paper and you knew you were in trouble.
• And then you saw the dozen or so dick-in-a-box that you were sure came from Spencer’s. Did they have a Spencer’s in devildom?
• Of course you had to balance out his chaoticness, and got everyone actual presents.
• Your only worry was Luke, so you were sure to tell Simeon about what Solomon was doing, making up a signal so you could get Simeon to cover Luke’s eyes.
• Simeon just shook his head with a sigh.
• It was funny to watch everyone open the little gag gifts.
• Lucifer looked disgusted. Mammon turned red. Levi just scoffed. Almost wiggled his eyebrows at Solomon. Satan just raised an eyebrow. Beel gave him a hesitant thanks. Belphie just went back to sleep. Diavolo was scarily delighted with the present. Barbatos got so red he could have won a competition against the Christmas lights. And Simeon, Simeon didn’t even open it.
• And of course, Solomon was smirking the whole time.

Deserted Island

Mc told Divaolo about how humans live the concept of living off the grid (like come one everyone played in the woods as a kid) so he set up a week long competition!

Teams:

Older bros:

- Lucifer

-Mammon

-Levi

Younger Bros:

- Satan

- Asmo

- Beel

- Belphie

Angels:

-Simeon

- Luke

Royals:

-Barb

- Diavolo

Humans:

- Solomon

- Mc

The rules are simple no magic! So how does everyone do?

Older bros:

- Did well at first Bc of Lucifer

- Their first objective was building a shelter

- They built a little stick and leaves hut but it could only fit two of them

- They made Mammon sleep outside

- When they were trying to go after a wild boar Levi tripped and scared all of them away so he got to eat the left over berries they found

- By the end Lucifer was tired, Mammon got a cold, and Levi got food poisoning from those berries

Rating: 5/10

Younger Bros:

- They did great the whole time

- The first objective was food

- The had plenty the entire time but their shelter was not much of one

- It was a fire on the beach with “beds” made of leaves and twigs

- It rained

- Beel had to be watched so he wouldn’t eat the food supply so satan did that thing you do with bears and tie it up in a tree

- It went fine until Asmo found something that resembled a mud bath and decided he needed a spa day

- It was quick sand

- Satan had to pull Asmo out but in the process Asmo lost his pants and he wasn’t wearing underwear

- So for the rest of the time Asmo had to kinda streak

Rating: 8/10

Angels:

- They made a shelter first

-Simeon and Luke found vines and wove them into makeshift hammocks and used twigs to keep it rain proof

- They played it pacifist route so they ate vegetarian for their time

- The adventures of Simeon and Luke were rather uninteresting until they ran into Asmo

- Simeon sat with his head in his hands for a solid hour

- Luke started collecting shells he found on the beach to take home

Rating: 10/10

Royals:

- Barb did most of it and Diavolo well…

- Barb found a natural spring and decided to build a small shelter around it and then went to look for- where’s Diavolo?

- Diavolo wandered off by the time Barb found him he had a boa constrictor wrapped around his waist

-“ Look barbatos the human ecosystem is truly wonderful *tightens* even if it is slightly painful”

- Barbatos: *he made this place and put snakes on it?*

- Barbatos got the snake off Diavolo (no snakes were harmed dw) and dragged him back to the shelter

- Then in the middle of the night he heard it. The unmistakable noise of his greatest foe…..a rat

- Barbatos got up and left

- He sat in the ocean for a awhile till Diavolo came and found him

- He refused to go back so for the rest of the time they had a beach shelter

Rating: 3/10

Humans:

- How do you think it went?

- Well surprisingly it was ok at first

- They climbed to the top of the island and made a shelter up there and found some local flora right for consumption

- They were mushrooms.

- Solomon and mc got a really bad trip and when they came to they were covered in blood and naked

- Not sure where their clothes went they found some leaves and made it “work”

- They we’re out looking for their clothes one day and found an abandoned camp

- Free stuff? Hell yeah!

- They stole it and brought it up to their camp out

- They had a little feast to celebrate

- Then things just went even more downhill

- They thought they were being watched ever since those mushrooms man

- Went full on Lord of the Flies

- Solomon and Mc even turned on each other

- By the time it was over Solomon and Mc were wrestling (still naked) in the mud yelling about moon soldiers

Rating: -10/10

Oh Baby…

(Fem Mc )

“How? How the frickty fuck did this happen?”

“Well”……

It all started with Satan wanting to prank Lucifer which is nothing new. He wanted a sure fire way to get back at his older brother for? Well for allowing “that hell hound mutt around the house but refusing one cat!” As anyone could tell you getting between Satan and his cats was lethal. He had already been fuming all week when he had student council business at the palace. He figured while he was there he would check out the restricted section of the library while everyone was busy.

They broke for a short 30 minutes to get up before the next meeting. His biggest worry was Barbatos but he seemed to have his hands full with Amso flirting with him so he took his chance. Saying he simply wanted to take a walk he causally made his way to the library. Since he was a Lord no one payed much mind to it was a cake walk. Once inside he found the perfect book “How to turn a demon into a Baby”. No

His plan was simple wait for Lucifer to walk in and catch him off guard with the spell. It was fool proof or almost that is because Satan underestimated one thing. That being Lord Diavolo who happened to come over that day. It was to late by the time Satan realized it was Lord Diavolo and not Lucifer who he directed the spell towards and well that’s why he’s holding a baby Diavolo in Mc’s room.

“You are going to get killed Satan!! Wait now you’ve dragged me into this so I’m an accomplice?!”

“Mc cal-“

“Oh don’t tell me to calm down when you turned Diavolo into a baby! We are so screwed man!”

“Mc be quiet only you and I know about this and if you keep yelling he’s going to start crying.”

“Fine…” (whispering) “What do we do? It’s not like Diavolo just vanishes on a daily basis”

“Let me think mc!”

“Think faster”

*Knock knock*

“You gotta be shitting me”

Pushing Satan and Diavolo into her closet and the knocking only grew more rapid as mc rushed to put her things in a somewhat normal looking manner.

“Coming”

Swinging open the door mc was met with an irritated glance from the Avatar of Pride him self. [shit]

“Uh hey Lucifer what’s happening?”

Mc said loudly so Satan could hear in her closet. She was also haphazardly blocking the door as to keep Lucifer from walking in.

“Mc why are you blocking the door?”

“I uh… why didn’t you answer my question?” Mc shot back

Sighing Lucifer easily pushed past and took a seat at her desk chair waving her over. Mc closed the door silently hoping Diavolo wouldn’t wake up and cause her room to be destroyed again.

“Mc why are you hiding Satan in your closet?”

“I uh what Satan’s not in my closet-“

“Mc I heard you talking outside the door”

“Shit”

Satan walked out of Mc’s closet holding baby Diavolo but at least he only looked like a regular baby.

“Satan why do you have a baby?”

“Well I-“

“We stole it!”

Demon hunters:

Damn I haven’t posted in a month my bad shawty

I’m so sorry I haven’t seen this before yesterday it’s not that I have a lot of requests I’ve just been busy. But onto the request

Until very recently most humans had not believed in demons or angels believing it to be no more than fiction. This rapidly changed once Divaolo opened up the devildom in hopes of peace between the three realms. This led to many becoming fearful and the church growing in size. Due to fear some humans who were backed by the church devoted their lives to destroying demons. Mc knew of the changes but was still shocked when visiting the human world.

Walking with one of the demon brothers past shops and stopping to look here and there. They wanted to take you somewhere they knew the others couldn’t tag along and ruin it for once however it seems the perfect day wouldn’t last. You both were stopped by a younger looking man with a crucifix in his hand. He started spewing prayers and whatnot and you could see your date wince some. You tired talking the random person down but they wouldn’t listen. Eventually seeing their prayers were not working the man walked closer and threw a rosary at the brother which seemed to burn the area it made contact with. Fueled by anger this stranger had hurt your boyfriend you used magic and hurtled them backwards. By now a scene had been created so you grabbed the brother and began walking away.

However the man determined to finish what he started pulled you backwards by your hair before you could realize what was happening. He pushed you to the ground where you hit your head among falling. Due to the stinging sensation and the blinding light of your s/o transforming it was a blur. One second a man stood in front of you and the next he was nothing but a pile of ash. The people around you screamed and ran in different directions some stepping on you. The brother simply picked you up and teleported the both of you to his room.

(Sorry if it’s short I’m kinda out of practice)

Obey me Tweets:

(Depending on how they do I might make more)

Dilfs

Mc(waking up Levi at like 3am) : so I just realized would Lucifer be a dilf?

Levi: mc what-

Mc: because Satan is his son technically…

Levi: I- I’m going back to sleep mc

*at breakfast*

Mc: *thinking*

Amso: Mc are you alright you look stressed?

Mc: I am just have an existential crisis nothing to worry about

Mammon: Mc?! Whaddya mean nothing to worry about

Mc: I am just coming to the conclusion that Lucifer is a dilf and I’m not sure how to feel about it

The brothers: …..

Mc: See it’s confusing wait-

Mc: would that make Solomon a gilf

Lucifer: Do I even want to know what you are talking about?

Levi: Probably not

First time posting in forever and it’s dumb shit anyway have a cat

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

My personal Obey Me Rabbit hole of theories

(Spoiler Warning for Lesson 36)

(So I haven’t updated in forever but finals are done and I’m on break so hopefully I should have more frequent posts now)

I like learning about things so go on a journey with me to learn about demonology and whatnot. So remember that post I made about the circles of hell? And how obey me has the circles according to Lucifer referencing them? Well I’ve found some more stuff.

So based on what the story and other characters have told us Solomon has made 73 pacts so far (I believe before coming to devildom) Going off this we can assume that our Solomon is based of the biblical character King Solomon. (I believe it’s said he’s king Solomon in one lesson but I honestly can’t remember which)

Why I bring this up is because in the mid 17th Century a book was published titled “The Lesser Key of Solomon”. It was an anonymously published series of grimoires about demonology. It’s where we get a lot of information about demonic rituals and practices. This book claims to have been written by King Solomon but considering it takes a lot of information from the 16th century it’s speculated if that’s entirely true. It tells us how Solomon got his powers and how we could do it as well.

The book is divided into five sections:

1.Ars Goetia- it contains descriptions of 72 demons King Solomon supposedly had control over

2.Ars Theurgia Goetia- The second part explains names, powers , and characteristics of 31 aerial spirts Solomon had summoned and controlled.

3.Ars Paulina- It was apparently discovered by the apostle Paul and has two chapters. Both chapters deal with angels and how you deal with them as well as their powers.

4.Ars Almadel- This part is basically telling us how to make Almadel, which is a wax tablet with protective symbols drawn on it. It tells us about seals and rituals if you want to summon demons and which angels to summon if you fuck it up.

5.Ars Notoria- Mainly comprised of prayers to attain knowledge for example. It also details the rituals you would need to practice.

Fuck now I forgot what I was thinking about

Uh let me know if you want more stuff like this I guess

Resident Evil: Village

(Bros)

*Spoilers*

Lucifer:

- He doesn’t get the big deal about some silly mortal game until mc dragsasks him to play it with them

- He spent ten minutes going through every tiny detail in the Winter’s home

- He did not like our wife Mia but he also didn’t know what happened in Resident Evil 7 so he’s really confused or the majority of the game

- Oh you know he loves the castle because like who wouldn’t

- He isn’t horrible at the game but he takes it agonizingly slow at times

- it took him ten minutes to leave the village once the gate unlocked

- Lady Dimitrescu is relatable to him honestly

- Does he find her hot? Well he doesn’t strike me as a milf connoisseur but I could be wrong

- He had fun playing the game but mc he has better things to do he just was sad about what happened to lady d

- Oh he hated the doll house area with the babies

- He really didn’t care that much about what happened after Lady Dimitrescu died same tho

- like I said before when we learn Ethan I like infected and died at the bakers house he doesn’t get it

- He would have preferred a different out come but hey he didn’t make the game

Mammon:

- Oh he hates this but gave him puppy dog eyes and he’s weak to that

- “Oh this is nice…fucking shit she got shot”

- Mammon wasn’t ready and since he wanted to get this game done with he didn’t do much investigating

- Dead crow… mc why… why must you do this to him

- Looks like he might actually cry

- No! More dead crows!

- He got up and left totally not to cry

- You promised him not more dead crows so he reluctantly agreed to play again

- That was a mistake

- He wasted all his bullets on the monsters for that cutscene

- Got attached to every npc we meet

- When he saw the castle his skills came in handy

- He was actually pretty good at running and hiding from enemies

- Did not like Lady Dimitrescu mainly because she scared him

- Oh a nice shack….

- Yeah after the baby monster thing he won’t pick the game back up

Levi:

- He’s played all the resident evil so he was the most competent at playing

- He may or may not have speed run it without you so he knows the story already

- Both of you want to be steped on by Lady Dimitrescu

- He doesn’t die once

- Doesn’t want to leave the castle

- You guys kinda just play around with mods for the game

Babysitting

Lucifer : Levi, keep an eye on Mammon today. He’s going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.


Levi: Sure, I’d love to see Mammon get punched.


Lucifer : Try again.


Levi, sighing: I will stop Mammon from getting punched.

Man ‍♀️

Mc: Yes I am a bitch just not yours

Solomon: Oohh yes get them mc

Mc: I’m talking to you dumbass

The Commercial

Solomon: Are you to short for respect to come to you naturally?

(Camera Pans over to Luke and Mc looking unimpressed)

Solomon: Well have I got the product for you now patten pending “Knife Hat”

Mc: I don’t know about this Solomon-

Solomon: Shhhh! Of course you do!

Luke: No Solomon you never told us what we came here for.

Solomon: (ignoring them) Knife hat solves all your problems! With just three payments of $19.99 it can be yours!

Divaolo, Simeon, and Lucifer watching from the corner: …….

Shower thought

So like remember how in um lesson 9 I think or whichever lesson it was here mc, mammon, satan, and Lucifer had to go to the human world? Well in that Lucifer said they could go through like the 9 circles but he doubts mc would handle it mentally. That’s a jab at Dante’s inferno (Actually it’s just “Inferno” by Dante Alighieri) right?

For those of you that don’t know it’s basically this dude, Dante, being lead through the “layers” or “circles” of hell. They get progressively worse the further you go down. The circles also are split up kinda between sins but not exactly because the first circle is just for those who were good people but didn’t believe in god or whatever. The last circle is for the traitors of history Lucifer/Satan is waist deep in a frozen lake of fire I believe (yeah it’s kinda confusing).

Here’s a good diagram of it I found on google

Anyway moving on from my explanation…. does that mean the “circles” exist in the obey me universe or was it a clever reference? I mean to be fair I’m lazy and I’ve been trying to get my cards leveled high so I haven’t progressed much in the story but I found it interesting. Plus learning can be fun right?

Obey me characters with where they stand

(Smau)Master list •what I write for • leave a request

That’s all K bye pls leave a request because I’m stumped on what to do

Naptime with Belphie~ and my strawberry plushie that needs to be in my drawings! ♡