#gen z shit
Why is the latest generation called gen alpha?? They’d grow up to be wolves?? All of them??
Thinking about today’s Math Class when the teacher asked us to choose a Random number and my STUPID DIRTY GEN Z ass brain literally said ‘69’
Bitches be like “My parents like him, he is the one” GIRLLL IF MY PARENTS LIKED HIM THAT’D BE THE REASON HE IS NOT THE ONE
I hope that all the daughters who are the yassification of their dads are doing good.
“you need to write something you would change about your performance, it’s called self reflection -”
“WELL I’M LOOKING AT MYSELF AND I LOOK GREAT”
this isnt an exact conversation but.
one time i (jokingly!!) told my friend she would die of scurvy if she didn’t eat more vegetables and she believed me and got really scared and ate wayyy too many vegetables,
but then she got a cold or something and googled her symptoms and went “oh my god i think i have scurvy” and i thought she was joking and i was like “yea ur gonna die” BUT SHE BELIEVED ME and actually thought she was gonna die of scurvy
“My cat stole my balls”
“Fake balls??”
“No, my tennis balls”
teacher:pleasedonot pee on your wounds
well, you know, i like to eat my eyeballs how i like to eat my sushi: with soy sauce and chopsticks
*sounds of the kid who decided wearing an inflatable dinosaur costume for mufty day getting beaten up grow louder*
(me. it was me.)
“I’m a beautiful melon person.”
“I think you mean ‘American.’”
Kid 1: “judge Judy!”
Kid 2: “no no no we’re going for dead people remember?”
Kid 3: “I dunno I think we can make that happen…”
Teacher: “are you guys talking about assassinating judge judy?!?!?!”
*as they go under a bar*
“yeah, I go over easily because I’m tall, you’re more of an under person”
“…Did you just call me a bottom?”
I didn’t catch the rest of the rest of the sentence, but I overheard “…that was before Kmart was a thing, and before I knew gravity falls even existed.”
“Simply become a prostitute until you have enough money to hire a hitman to kill all of your clients”
*softly* “No.”
V: hi
R: where did you come from
V: hell
R: oh i didn’t see you there
A: it’s a big place
R: fair enough
me: “sloths could kill you if they were fast enough. they aren’t predators right?”
my sister: “no they don’t eat meat”
me: “oh they eat plants. they’re plant predators. pledators”
my sister: “….you are so weird”
things i’ve said
- i swear i don’t have a gun, i do, on the other hand, have a knife
- hey mom i just committed murder/arson
-and that’s on manipulative dad issues
-YEET MY BEETS
- …and then i just picked her up and threw her into the fucking sun.
“Why are you dressed up as Captain America at nine am on a Friday!?”
