#gen z funny
Me, continuing to dance: I think power would corrupt you.
I’m so fucking high right now, I really just went to make a PB&J sandwich and took a spoonful of peanut butter and slathered it all over my hand, and then said, “Which do you put first, the bowl or the milk?”
Forgive me Lord for I have taken the arms and legs off of my Barbie doll as a child and super glued them to the opposite sockets. I know the Bible doesn’t mention it but I just know that’s a sin.
You think I can catch feelings?? Jokes one you! Ha! I wear my ✨medical mask✨ you BITCH! Caught it, got it, got over it,, I’ve got the ANTIBODIES for FEELINGS MOTHERFUCKER!!!
Y’all ever just realize you’re highkey whore-curious? Like no I have not slept around but I definitely vibe with it and plan to try my very best
My therapist: “your style is always really cool! It’s nice that you don’t let your depression get in the way of you taking care of your appearance!”
Me: “There’s an old belief that when you die you come back as a ghost wearing the same thing you died in, and I really don’t wanna haunt the earth for a thousand years while wearing stained sweatpants and a stretched out tank top.”
My therapist: “Hahah that’s funny you should be a comedian!”
Me: “No Sharon I literally sleep in jeans. Sometimes I wear hats too. I refuse to be the mordern equivalent to a Victorian child in a night gown.”
millennials have gone too far man, they’re seriously trying to pull a “only 90’s kids will remember” on vine…
Thinking about today’s Math Class when the teacher asked us to choose a Random number and my STUPID DIRTY GEN Z ass brain literally said ‘69’
Bitches be like “My parents like him, he is the one” GIRLLL IF MY PARENTS LIKED HIM THAT’D BE THE REASON HE IS NOT THE ONE
I hope that all the daughters who are the yassification of their dads are doing good.
*sounds of the kid who decided wearing an inflatable dinosaur costume for mufty day getting beaten up grow louder*
“I’m a beautiful melon person.”
“I think you mean ‘American.’”
*as they go under a bar*
“yeah, I go over easily because I’m tall, you’re more of an under person”
“…Did you just call me a bottom?”
V: hi
R: where did you come from
V: hell
R: oh i didn’t see you there
A: it’s a big place
R: fair enough
things i’ve said
- i swear i don’t have a gun, i do, on the other hand, have a knife
- hey mom i just committed murder/arson
-and that’s on manipulative dad issues
-YEET MY BEETS
- …and then i just picked her up and threw her into the fucking sun.
“who are we to question the motives of aliens?”
“For the last time, he’s in his thirties, you’re sixteen.”
“But I love him…”
(It was about Harry Styles, apparently)
AP student just asked what 2/2 is
