I have seen so many horrible stories by women who have been harassed by creepy men during transit. And I have been through so so many similar encounters while on the subway. You know what you do? Here are two concrete things you should do that will ensure your safety when you say no.
1) MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH A SPECIFIC PERSON. CALL THEM OUT. SAY “DO YOU SEE THIS MAN HARASSING ME? CAN I PLEASE USE YOU AS A WITNESS? I HAVE TOLD HIM I AM NOT INTERESTED AND HE WON’T LEAVE ME ALONE.”
Calling people out in a crowd of people makes them feel obligated. Everyone is waiting for someone else to take action and people rarely feel like they should make the first step and get involved. FORCE THEM to get involved. Point to them and address them specifically. Don’t give them a choice. Don’t give them the option of ignoring this situation.
2) BE. FUCKING. LOUD. USE THE WORDS “ASSAULTING”, “HARASSING”, and “VIOLATING”.
One time a man kept shoving his boner into my ass and I moved my bag so it would be between us and he shoved it back out of the way and shoved it back in. I turned and shouted “STOP PURPOSELY SHOVING YOUR PENIS INTO MY BUTT. YOU ARE SEXUALLY HARASSING ME.”
He turned beat red and two men forced him to get off at the next stop.
If someone asks for stupid shit like a rejection hug, DO THE SAME THING.
BE LOUD. SHOUT. Say, “I DO NOT LIKE BEING TOUCHED BY STRANGERS AND YOU ARE HARASSING ME AND INVADING MY PERSONAL SPACE. I HAVE ASKED YOU THREE TIMES TO LEAVE ME ALONE AND WILL CALL THE POLICE IF YOU DO NOT STOP.”
Follow your outburst by, again, demanding fellow passengers help you out.
You do not have to give in, and you are allowed to demand the support of people. Don’t wait for them to volunteer their help. DEMAND IT.
December 3rd 2014 was the day 12-year-old Ronin Shimizu,California,decided to end his life.
Why?
Because of the constant bullying he suffered from not adhering to current gender norms. Ronin Shimizu was a kind, polite boy who was passionate about fashion and cheerleading. He was the only male cheerleader with the Vista Junior Eagles Cheer Team and excelled at it. He sketched out his own designs and had an eye for fashion. But the other students at Folsom Middle School would not accept Ronin for who he was. They simply could not forget what they had been taught about how a boy should be. So they bullied and tormented him. They turned his life into a living hell. The constant harassment made him abandon cheerleading, which he loved. They made him leave school to be home-schooled. They made him not want to live anymore.
Gender norms are damaging, so please think critically and be kind!
A 20-year-old lesbian student was a victim of homophobia inside a nightclub in São Bernardo do Campo (SP) in the early hours of Sunday (30 January). First she was verbally abused and then she was the victim of physical violence. Gabriela Oliveira Guimarães was at the place called Blow Rudge accompanied by three cousins when she was verbally attacked by other regulars, who called her “dyke” and…
Outraged because two young girls publicly were affectionate on the bus, a seventy-year-old threatened them with a knife and repeatedly insulted them by shouting “ugly lesbians, either stop it or I’ll put a knife in your belly”.
The serious instance of homophobia occured the other evening on the Amt bus number 13 from Corso Saffi to the terminus of via Turati, in Caricamento. At…
Cameroon: Leaked sex tape puts lesbian soccer star at risk
Cameroon: Leaked sex tape puts lesbian soccer star at risk
Sexually explicit lesbian videos showing a former star of the national women’s soccer team and her partner spread widely in Cameroon last week. In response, social media sites were ablaze with people claiming to be outraged. Online and off, discrimination and insults against LGBTI people in Cameroon intensified, and police made arbitrary arrests of several gay and trans Cameroonians.
Italy: Woman attacked by parents because she’s lesbian
Italy: Woman attacked by parents because she’s lesbian
ROME, NOV 9 – A 20-year-old Tunisian-Italian woman was attacked by her father after telling her parents she was gay in the Marche seaside resort of Pesaro on Saturday, Il Resto del Carlino newspaper reported Tuesday.
The woman told her 53-year-old Tunsiain father and 58-year-old Italian mother she was a lesbian and was going out with a woman, the north-central Italian daily said.
The NYPD is asking for help in its search for the man who attacked a young woman in the East Village because she was holding hands with her girlfriend.
On September 15, the 21-year-old woman was walking with her girlfriend near the corner of East 14th St. and 3rd avenue when the suspect began yelling anti-gay slurs at them, amNY reported.
The couple continued walking, but the suspect did not…
Back in May, when the streaming platform Twitch announced the release of more than 350 new “identity tags” that could be used to sort streams into distinctive categories, Jess Bolden was excited.
The 25-year-old FACEIT Games Esports analyst, who lives between France and Italy with her female partner, streams the game Rainbow Six Siege, a largely male-dominated pursuit. Bolden was once Samsung…
to be 100% clear: OTW volunteers are getting CSAM in their emails. as a protest against AO3’s content. I repeat: someone is sending actual literal child pornography to actual literal human people in order to protest fanfic they think is inappropriate.
(I am the front desk manager at a hotel. We have an ad online looking for a part-time front desk clerk and I’ve been getting a lot of applications. About four months ago we hired a new guy, let’s call him Jim, who is working out to be one of the best employees we’ve had in years, and I’m really hoping to get just as lucky with the next person. Everybody loves him and he has the potential to advance to a manager position in the future if things keep up. Just before three pm, a young lady walks in with a file folder and I can already tell she is here to apply for the job. I go to greet her.)
Girl: “Hi. May I speak with the manager, please?”
Me: “Is this regarding a job application?”
Girl:“Yes, it is.”
Me:“Wonderful! My name is [My Name] and I’m the front desk manager. Pleasure to meet you.”
Girl:“Likewise! My name is [Girl] and I would like to apply for the position you have available.” *she pulls a resume from her folder and hands it to me* “As you can see by my resume I am more than qualified and would be perfect for this job.” *her resume is average to say the least* “There is only one thing holding me back…”
Me: “All right, and what might that be?”
Girl:“Well, do you have an employee named Jim working here? Jim [Last Name]?”
Me:“Yes, I do. He is my best employee.”
Girl: *looks surprised* “Oh, well, I can’t be in the same building with him due to a restraining order I have against him. I can’t work here as long as he’s on your staff. So…”
Me:“Well, then, I guess I won’t be able to consider you. I’m very sorry. Have a lovely day.”
(I hand her back her resume and she looks at me with this devilish look that tells me this girl is a troublemaker. She kind of smiles.)
Girl:“Do you guys do criminal record checks?” *she has a huge smirk as she asks this*
Me: “Yes, ma’am, we do a criminal record check on every employee, including on Jim.”
Girl:“Well, he—”
Me:“We are fully aware of his past and the general manager and I have decided that we are comfortable enough with him to overlook it. We firmly believe that everybody deserves a second chance and Jim is no different. And as I said, he is my best employee, one of the best we’ve had in years, and I have no intentions of firing him as long as he’s doing his job and being honest with us. Is there anything else?”
(She goes red in the face and puckers her lips.)
Girl:“Well, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy to hear he’s doing such a wonderful job. That’s just great. Yeah. Well, can I leave you my resume anyway in case something comes up?”
Me:“Well, things do change so I suppose I could hold on to it but as I said, I have no intentions of firing him so unless he quits I have nothing available for you here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to wrap up and head home. Thank you.”
(I go back to my office, file the resume and think nothing more of it. The next morning the phone rings and a familiar voice asks to be put through to the general manager. I recognize her right away as the girl from the night before. I overhear my manager’s side of the conversation and it’s clear that she’s going over my head to get this guy fired. After about 15 minutes the general manager hangs up and calls me in to the office.)
General Manager: “You’re not going to believe this: a girl just called and tried to talk me into firing Jim so we could hire her. She said that she is perfect for the job and that we need her on staff but that you are discriminating against her by putting her in a situation where she can’t work here.”
Me:“What?!”
General Manager: “Yeah, according to little miss law school here, it’s illegal to hire people who have restraining orders against them because it prevents their victims from being able to work at those same places.”
Me: “Seriously? She’s crazy. That girl is nothing but a troublemaker and even if Jim wasn’t here I wouldn’t want her on staff. I don’t need that kind of childishness around here.”
General Manager: “Yeah, she also told me we were breaking the law by having her resume here and told me that I have to destroy it because it might be in an area where Jim could see it.”
Me:“She insisted on leaving it. I gave it back to her!”
General Manager: “Oh, I know. I know her type and what they do. This ain’t my first rodeo. Not my first experience with a restraining order either. You should have hear how quickly she changed her tune when I told her that by coming here and calling me she was actually violating her own restraining order thereby making it null and void. I told her I would be giving this information and the security tapes to Jim and his probation officer. She just went silent, then told me happily to never mind and to tell Jim to have a lovely day and to enjoy his job. Unbelievable, some people.”
Me: “Wow. Did she really void her own restraining order?”
General Manager: “Probably. Depends on the terms and conditions, I guess. Anyway, do me a favor and pull up the security footage from last night when she came in and prepare an incident report, please. Let’s wrap this up right now and be done with it.”
(It turned out she had done the exact same thing at Jim’s second job where he worked as a bouncer at a bar. The girl didn’t even need work; she had a full time job and was going to school but was determined to make his life difficult. I don’t know what is going to come of it all but it still amazes me how hateful and vindictive some people can be.)
I have to say, I believe it.
Oh, I don’t mean the boring, misogynist tale by whiny men that “women make false accusations and ruin men’s lives just out of spite and are always taken way too seriously” bit (their favorite version of this tale is, of course, the false rape accusation).
I mean the part where men are being dismissive and acting as if Jim being enough of a danger to a woman that a restraining order against him was necessary is no big deal.
I mean the part where the GM talks about restraining orders like he’s been slapped with a few himself.
I mean the part where OP acts as if wanting some consequences for Jim’s predatory behavior is being a “troublemaker.”
I mean the part where they bring up Jim being good at his job and well-liked as if any of that precludes him from being a misogynist and a predator.
I mean the part where men will respond to this with “not all men”, while failing to actually condemn (and sometimes even while defending) the attitudes and behaviors here that they want to be dissociated from.
All of that is totally realistic. But the chances of this story having actually happened are slim to none.
This moment when you have the police on every speed dial button and buy yourself a pocket knife so that you can walk your dog in the evening and feel safe.
Sick sick sick of possibility of being fucking recorded every waking second by tiktok obsessed quasi celebs. Video titled something like “Caught him thinking he’s the main character” but it was just a kid wearing headphones, looking out the bus window. Of course it was posted without his knowledge. Stop recording strangers and everything you see, nobody gives a shit and not everyone is happy to be on tiktok or youtube because of a moron with no braincells and an account. What could be a forgettable awkward moment is now permanently there for the victim of lackabrainis infested idiot to get anxious about forever.
Okay, this seems like a relevant thing to share today: I’ve been in this position. Back in college while on that student lifestyle, I somehow ended up with a pretty bad iron deficiency. How bad? I was not only sleeping too much, I was falling asleep everywhere – in class, in the library, in cafes five minutes after drinking coffee. It was terrible. Anyway, during a class I enjoyed, I was sat at a table with a few classmates, and I started falling asleep while taking notes; nodding off, dropping my pen, startling awake and falling asleep again, until my head was on the table. No one seemed to mind, we were all going through it I guess, and my lecturer was nice enough not to make a big deal out of it.
Cut to the next day and I was in the Students Union, when a friend came up to me and told me how funny that video was of me falling asleep in class was. What? I asked her about it, what did she mean, who made the video, and she realised I literally had no clue about it. Kindly, she told me who to talk to and I thanked her. I was already upset, but I knew it wasn’t the messenger’s fault. So, I took to Facebook and messaged the girl who made the video – a girl on my table in the class from before. I asked her about it, and she admitted it right away – she took the video on her phone during class and posted it to her snapchat. That’s how the other girl saw it, not to mention countless others.
Sorting this out was an absolute toil. I felt betrayed and violated that someone would do that while I was obviously not in a position to have any say about it. I lost friendships with the people who took the girl’s side, as if it was no big deal or “funny”. I had to tell the lecturer about it, because let’s face it, that’s a shit thing to allow to happen during class itself, the department moved to be more alert and proactive about restricting phone use in class, and all that girl had to do was give a half-hearted apology. The next semester, she was still openly using her phone in another class we had.
For a long time, I couldn’t trust anyone who held their phone up around me, as if to take photos or video. It would make me so anxious and put me on edge. I never did speak to the people who cosigned her behaviour, who acted like it wasn’t their problem that their bff video-recorded a person in class over their health condition without their consent.
I did eventually grow out of my anxiety around phones, and I resisted the urge to break that girl’s phone, but, I will absolutely bring back that energy if I see someone record a stranger in public without their consent. Take it from someone who’s been that target – if you think it’s okay, you deserve to get your shit wrecked.
I just want to add, in case anyone reads this and isn’t sure – yes, it is absolutely fine to reblog this, and in fact I encourage you to. If testimony from a former target of this behaviour is the one thing that makes it click for anyone thinking of doing it, if it makes them reconsider before potentially ruining a stranger’s life, then my experience will be worth it for me.
Don’t record strangers and put that shit on the Internet or social media without their consent.
I will also add: you have no idea who will see the person you just recorded without their knowledge. You have no idea if you’ve just put them in danger from a stalker or abuser, if someone will recognize where you took the video and try to go find that person, if someone from their workplace will see it and have it impact their job. Your actions can have serious consequences for someone who was just trying to live their life and had the misfortune of being around you while they did.
Someone made me aware of a gross little community on tumblr dedicated to peeping on women without their knowledge or consent. And it’s been around for a while, too, one blog I saw for it had been around since 2018. There are multiple blogs that post this stuff and reblog it, and the fact that it’s been going strong for this long is a massive failure on tumblr’s part. This stuff isn’t legal, it shouldn’t be here. And yet there it is. And I’m pretty sure by now people must have reported these kinds of blogs already, but it doesn’t look like anything has been done about it.
The blog I was shown as an example is as follows:
Warning: The content on this blog is really disgusting, you have been warned
I know it’s a long shot the way tumblr is ran right now, but if people could report blogs like this and spread the word that they exist and are unacceptable, it would be really appreciated
This is actually a ginormous “fandom” that exists on Tumblr. I’m guessing the reason it’s been able to thrive like this is because they don’t tag their posts, meaning that they exist outside the search algorithm. I took the liberty of copying a shitload of URLs to report, but I eventually had to stop because it’s endless. If anyone wants to report these and look for others, that would be very much appreciated:
“Founded in 2013, Know Your IX is a national survivor-run, student-driven campaign to end campus sexual violence. Running on grassroots energy, we educate students across the country about their civil right to education free from sexual violence and harassment while also pushing policy and legislative change on the national level for better federal enforcement of that same right. Know Your IX fills the gap between the law on the books and survivors on the ground: we work to educate our fellow students about their rights and empower them to take action for safety and equality on campus; and bring students’ voices, experiences, and concerns to policymakers writing the next chapter in Title IX’s history.”
GREAT organization and a great resource for students - check out their website here
Reblog this if you’re an autistic person who blogs about autism and being autistic.
Yup.
“You’re too high-functioning to speak for REAL People With Autism, so shut up.”
Look, I don’t know what you ableist neurotypicals think is “real autism,” but you aren’t even autistic. So we are certainly closer to it than you are.
Not to mention that a lot of so-called “low-functioning” autistic people are perfectly capable of writing and speaking up. And you want to silence them too? Good job, A+ job trying to understand autistic people.
~~~
And to everyone who worries about being “too high-functioning to understand:”
Do you read from other autistic people? Do you listen to voices all over the spectrum?
You understand autistic people’s wants and needs 1000% more than those ableist neurotypicals do. Because you actually listen to other autistic people. Your perspective is informed partially by personal experience, and partially by analyzing community perspectives.
Neurotypicals like to pretend that an autism diagnosis means that you can never ever understand autism, therefore you must shut up at all times and let the NTs do the talking.
You have a brain. You can use it. And you’re certainly doing a better job and trying a lot harder than these whiny bullies are. You have entered and sought to understand a community. You have listened to all autistics, not just the ones who are convenient to you, or who are similar to you. And you have personal experiences that are real and valid.
No autistic person deservesto be bullied. No autistic person brings bullying upon themselves by being too “weak”, “socially inept”, “awkward”, “weird”, “stupid”; etc ad infini blah blah yadda. Neurotypicals/allistics who use that as an excuse to harass and make fun of us are the weak ones. You have a piece of cooked spaghetti for a backbone if you think it’s appropriate to set upon someone who, for whatever reason, isn’t, or may not be, equipped to fight back.
Noticing how the idol had messaged him the directions, Mondo —– immediatelychargedforward,hoping that this BASTARDhasANY LAST wish, before he getsPONDED on ground, and beaten the HELL out of his soul. Oh, how the biker DESPISEDthoseDICKS, who just kept harassing- girls, and later LEAVINGthemtraumatized( he witnessed some situations where a girl was left NAKED). If he ever sawTHAT, might as well leave- themALL in a pool of their BLOOD, and even RIPtheirheads off.HeNEVER feltANY regret of MURDER, due to also killing LOTS of people, but allowing such dick heads to do what they WANT with chicks? No thanks.
Turning around the corner, following carefully the directionstheIDOL had told him, Mondo started cracking his knuckles, teeth snarling at each other, as the violet hues flickered angrily. If theyDARE messing with him, then he has to ADMIT, theyDOhavesome pair. Walking towards the surface of the main street, the - corner of his eye had SEENMaizonorunning towards him, calling his name in sher PANIC. SuchALWAYS ached his heart. The man immediately went to her.
❝ Calm yerself, Maizono…. I'mma beat that guy out Ya’ go do your job, kay? Ya’ need me to come – along? ❞ <
“D-Don’t beat him up while I’m around!” Sayaka held onto his jacket, her hands shaking from how nervous she felt. Usually she was quite opposed to violence…but now? She really wanted that guy to feel as terrified as she feels.
“If…If you beat him up while people around around then they’ll know it was because of me!” She tugged on his jacket to emphasize her point, trying her damn best not to cry in front of him. “I-If you walk me home he might still follow me s-so you can do it there! My…My neighborhood is pretty quiet Just–” A tear managed to escape her control and roll down her cheek.
Hey, hot tip-off here. If you send sexual anons to a muse and the muse says ‘no’, /that’s when you stop/. Unless you have an OOC agreement with the other mun that says continuing is okay, /you STOP/. You don’t keep sending the anons claiming you’re forcing their muse into sex. Yes it’s just a muse, but there’s a real person behind that muse and you are harassing them. Take no for an answer.
Being proship means that you don’t harass others over fiction. That’s it. The End.
I will accepting taking no arguments or debates. If your definition of ‘proship’ doesn’t include being anti-harassment, I don’t want to know what it is, and I don’t want to be associated with you. If you disagree with me, or are upset by this, then feel free to block me.
Anyone who harasses other people over fiction is NOT proship, no matter what they say. Really, if you’re proship, you shouldn’t be harassing others in general, which includes antis. Harassment isn’t cool. Block antis and move on when you see them, do not engage. They don’t deserve your time and energy, and you don’t deserve the stress that comes with dealing with them.
Western media downplays anti-Asian racism and manipulates narratives about it in order to reinforce the Model Minority Myth, the Asian gender divide, and geopolitical tensions in Asia.
Even in so-called progressive outlets, U.S. media invokes Orientalism and even gendered depictions of Asian countries to create a contrast: Evil Misogynist Asia vs. Benevolent White Male West. The goal is to dehumanize Asians, deify whiteness, and justify warmongering against Asia.
Whenever diasporic Asians are harmed by racist violence, U.S. media takes one of three approaches: 1) ignoring the incident, 2) reporting on the incident but erasing the Asianness of victims, or 3) reporting on the incident but questioning whether it’s really racism to blame.
To ensure AsAms don’t work together to push back against this, U.S. policies and propaganda create a gender divide. The 1942-1943 Mixed Marriage Policy ranks Asians, with monoracial Asian men the least valuable and most threatening. This ranking still exists.
Four years ago, I made a sincere effort to help heal this gender divide by pointing out how all AsAms were hurting and at risk of falling into a cycle of retribution. Instead of taking accountability, AsAms in power targeted, harassed and blacklisted me.
I—along with anyone else who dared to speak up—was repeatedly scolded with the refrain that the harm Asian men experience is not meaningful. Yet looking at the recent data and media narratives about anti-Asian hate crimes, we now have damning evidence of how untrue that is.
In my previous post, I did an in-depth analysis of anti-Asian hate crimes and the role of Stop AAPI Hate as a primary source of data collection. Now I want to talk about how journalists—especially AsAms—have skewed this data into a violently racist narrative.
After the Atlanta shootings, the Asian American Journalists Association (AAJA) shaped the media narrative about Atlanta and anti-Asian hate crimes in general. The problem is that they relied on Stop AAPI Hate data—which over-prioritizes East Asian women over other AAPI victims.
There’s more than sufficient evidence from trustworthy sources like AAPI Data to show Asian men are as likely to be victims of hate crimes as Asian women and also more likely to experience physical assault. So why isn’t AAJA promoting this narrative?
One look at the governing boards of AAJA says a lot. For an organization that is supposed to promote inclusivity of Asian voices in media, there aren’t many Asian men represented. Not only that, but there are more white men than actual Asian men seated in the Asia division.
This erasure of Asian men in anti-Asian hate crime narratives is eerily similar to what happened with my comic Reconciliasian and how Asians in power erased Asian men back then too. Seeing AAJA’s guidance on the Atlanta shootings provides new insight.
What I thought was a fringe mindset among a handful of AsAm journalists was actually a product of top-down marching orders sent out to all AsAm journalists, which then gets disseminated as the mainstream narrative. This intentional erasure of Asian men is racist and violent.
It’s ironic that AsAm leaders push for restorative justice for anti-Asian hate crimes—which emphasizes communication between the perpetrator and victim—yet none of them has owned up to how much harm they’ve caused with their bias. Whenever they’re caught, they just go quiet.
That’s the part of the betrayal that hurts the most. Violent perpetrators of anti-Asian hate crimes get more sensitivity than actual Asian male victims of hate crimes. I can’t even put into words how heartbroken and angry I am to see this racist abuse play out again and again.
The lack of empathy towards Asian men is so normalized in media narratives that it’s not even questioned. Here’s a person who lost his mom to a violent hate crime, yet an AsAm journalist felt the need to imply he should feel shame—which is so inappropriate to ask of anyone.
The point of these posts isn’t to say East Asian women or AAPI women in general shouldn’t get attention and resources. It’s to correct the harm of AsAm leaders erasing Asian men, and to make sure all AAPI can get meaningful victim support, resources, and media attention.
But I’m not holding my breath. This requires big changes—including giving Asian men like me a voice—and so far, Asian American leaders have demonstrated strong resistance to holding themselves and their friends accountable. They profit off the harm, and want to continue doing so.
So I anticipate they’ll do what they’ll usually do. Quietly lurk on my posts, steal the content, & then speak over me and other people they’ve harmed in order to portray themselves as the heroes who came in to save the day. With fellow AsAms like these, who needs enemies?
