I gotta say this is all “ alleged ” because from what I heard he threatens any trans person that dares call him out….
Sooo let’s talk about this dude
{ also no my phone isn’t glitching out, his graphics are just that bad..}
He’s a cis I believe queer man that targets trans people and cis women { mostly cis wlw }
He has a lot of videos of him just harassing and making “ parody ” songs and posts invalidating lgbtq+ people mostly trans people and wlw.
He has “ talks ” with trans people acting as if he just wishes to have a “ friendly ” conversation then harasses them..
He takes photos of trans people and uses them for his “ educational ” aka harassment videos and “ parodies ” mocking their looks. I I believe he takes the photos without their permission..
He also invades trans spaces and women’s spaces to make mocking harassy videos…
He also has underlying hints that feminism is making kids trans???? He also comments and likes many comments claiming feminism and the trans community are
“ cults ”
He and his followers are a danger to trans youth and all lgbtq+ youth as a whole.
This post is a self reminder for me to post more information later, but today, every single woman in Mexico is grieving, we lost a sister
We lost another sister due to the patriarchal society
This goes for you, Debanhi Escobar, we all name you.
Rest in Power, Girl. ✨
40 minutes ago (19:40 CDMX), Nuevo Leon authorities confirmed the body they found is Debanhi Susana Escobar Bazaldúa, and they want to make us believe she just fell down ✨♀️
“teach her to reject likeability. her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her full self, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people.”
— dear ijeawele, or a feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions by chimamanda ngozi adichie.
It really is so insulting the way people act like survivors should be able to sever all emotional connection and empathy from their partner the second they behave abusively, because it’s not how human emotions/attachment works and it’s not how traumatic bonding works.
Instead of the “if a man ever did that to me I wouldn’t put up with that” ask yourself “what if someone I trusted completely, who was struggling with something serious in their life, who I lived with, harmed me and then apologized profusely and cried and promised they’d never do it again?” If you can picture immediately walking away from— not a hypothetical person— someone you trust right now if that situation happened, then you’re in the minority.
And also- when, after abuse, survivors DO walk away from friendships and relationships the first time there’s even the hint of harm, then people shame us for “black-and-white thinking” or “self-sabotage” and imply we’re damaged, but then if we don’t do that and get abused again then it’s our fault cause we should know better
Folks really need to have more empathy for how emotionally complex abuse is. It’s not the same kind of trauma as a stranger assaulting you on the street. It’s someone who will cry after they hurt you and it will take months or years to realize that wasn’t about actual remorse but was so you felt selfish if you ever complained about their treatment of you and so you would comfort them and swallow your own pain.
It is not survivors’ fault for being compassionate or not compassionate enough or too forgiving or not forgiving enough— it’s abusers’ fault for abusing. There is no “you should have___” because I guarantee somewhere a survivor tried that exact thing and it didn’t save them. There is no way to win in a dynamic where someone has control over you.
It doesn’t matter what you think you would do, because when you’re in it, it doesn’t feel like “I’m being abused” it feels like “I’m the only one who can help this extremely troubled but ultimately well-meaning person who wants to be better” and the latter feeling is much harder to just walk away from than you’d ever imagine
I wish I could have went into more detail for you all.
Thank you to the followers who have stuck with me through the years all 1,600 plus of you, I’ve lost some but the ones who have stayed I appreciate you.
On top of him doing all of this to me he also called me a “savage” due to my Native ancestory. And gaslighted me pretty badly.
This is what I’ve been dealing with while I’ve been gone, I am the woman in the article they forgot a few charges and left some details out I am breaking my silence.
I don’t understand why periods are still a “hush hush”, “open secret” topic. If we can tell the whole world about news of pregnancies, why can’t we be more proud of periods? It doesn’t make sense because you wouldn’t even have babies without periods. If you can shout, “I’m gonna be a mom”, how about this time, when you see a woman get their period for the first time, tell them to shout from the rooftops, “I got my period!I am a marvelous FORCE to be reckoned with! I can create human beings now!” That’s how proud you should be. Banish the stigma around periods. This isn’t 19th century anymore.
I’m so fucking mad. I searched for #lesbians to see some nice art or cool memes and you know what I’ve got? Pictures that looks like scenes from porn and sexualized and/or objectified women
Raise your hand if you’re not at all surprised that courts are beginning to give women their ex’s money, even though they were never married and had no children together. ♂️
This one even declined to sign a marriage contract. Of course she declined to sign a marriage contract, she wanted his money and she knew that if it ever were to end, she’d take him to court and get every penny she could from him!
You can’t be a strong independent woman if you’re living off of your ex.
I have a deep and very personal need to defend every girl who has been attacked by millions of their s/o’s fans for literally doing nothing but being happy. These women are attacked, disrespected, and bullied by “fans”, some children, some whole ass adults, because they don’t fit the stans’ personal fantasy about their idol. It genuinely baffles me how much these people hate innocent women out of jealousy or because of some conspiracy. It is also jarring just how many girls have had to through this.
If you have done this, and/or continue to do this I would love to hear your justification because I am sure it boils down to thinking you know better than your idol whats good for them. The facts are you do not know them and they are an adult who can make their own decisions. You say you love them, but bullying someone they love is not supporting them. If you do this, you better not call yourself a feminist, ever. Feminist do not tear down other women over petty bs. Just be kind, please.
I am a straight, white, cis, male, or in other words a bug of a person. Please tell me how I oppress my sister, my mother, my best friend, my teacher, my aunt, etc, personally.. Please tell me. I dare you
Do you want me to start with the implied threat in your statement, the way you appear to have created an anonymous blog for the sole purpose of insulting and criticizing blogs that argue for equality, the way you asked a total stranger to provide you with specific personal examples because you want to shut me down rather than engage in an actual dialogue, or the fact that you already consider yourself to be a blight on humanity without my assistance based on your username?
Or the fact that he used all the women he knows as leverage in this conversation as if knowing 50% of the population is so difficult and as if he chose to have a mother, sister, aunt, and teacher. As if by having those people in your life we automatically know for certain that you don’t treat them like crap.
Or how he immediately made this post about himself when he isn’t a poc or a woman so this wasn’t addressed to him, but I guess he just clicked the first post he saw on your blog because any blog with feminism in the name is one he wants to harass regardless of the kind of feminism it is.
Like… dude, we don’t know you, we can’t really tell you how you oppress them besides by willfully ignoring the fact that they are systemically oppressed by forces other than you, by the government and media and a lot of men that you aren’t, but we can certainly tell you that there are plenty of people that have daughters and sisters and mothers, men in fact, that rape them, abuse them, murder them, that’s an indisputable fact regardless of your beliefs on feminism. So no, you don’t get to treat this like just because you have a woman in your life you’re immune to the accusations of sexism. Unless you’ve lived in a strict commune in Antarctica, you’ve men some women. All sexists have met women. How else did they oppress them?
This post is going to be a mess, because I’m just …untidily angry right now. It began with a series of tweets I made today about my ever-broken Datsun. The mechanic had told my husband that he was “working on that Datsun just as fast as I can because now that I’ve met her I can’t wait to get that little girl behind the wheel again.“
Little girl.
As I tweeted that I was 33 and had earned each of those years and thus preferred to be referred to as “Danger Smog-Dragon” or “Rage-Mistress” or “Ephemeral Time Lady” or “Maggie Stiefvater, #1 NYT Bestselling Author of the Raven Cycle,” a well-meaning fellow replied that perhaps I should “use [my] words, politely but firmly, to his face…” He further observed that he’d told his wife that “you know, Honey, unless you’re willing to SAY THAT to (those people), NOTHING is going to change”.
(note:pleasedo not go search for this fellow on twitter to rage at him; this is not about him. He is set dressing, made more appropriate to the conversation at hand by the fact that he probably is a perfectly nice guy who really didn’t mean disrespect).
I told TwitterMan that I was tired of have to use my words.It’s been 33 years of using my words. Why is it my job to continuously ask to be treated equivalent to a male customer? Why is that when I arrive at a shop, I’m reminded that I have to push the clutch in if I want to start my own car? It’s 2015. Why is it still all sexism all the time?
I discovered that I was actually furious. I thought I was over being furious, but it turns out, the rage was merely dormant. I’m furious that it’s been over a decade and nothing has changed. I’m furious that sexism was everywhere in the world of college-Maggie and it remains thus, even if I out-learn, out-earn, out-drive, and out-perform my male counterparts. At the end of the day, I’m still “little girl.”
Possibly this is the point where some people are asking why this tiny gesture of all gestures should be the one to break me.
Here is the anatomy of my rage.
Step one: It is 1999 or 2000. I am 16. I go to college. A professor tells me I’m pretty. A married man in the bagpipe band I’m in tells me he just can’t control himself around me: he stays up nights thinking of my skin. Another man tells me he can’t believe that ‘a little bitch’ like me got into the competition group after a year of playing when he’s been at it for twenty years. After becoming friends with a professor’s daughter, I’m at her house sleeping on the couch, and I wake up to find the professor running his hand from my ankle bone to my thigh. I pretend I’m still asleep. I’m 17. “If something happened to my wife,” he tells me later, “I could be with you.” At my next visit to her house, I see the wife’s left a book on the kitchen table: how to rekindle your husband’s love.
Step two: It’s 2008. I finally buy the car of my dreams, a 1973 Camaro, and make it my official business vehicle. The first time I take it to put gas in it, a man tells me, “if I were your husband, I wouldn’t want you out driving my car.” I tell him, “if you were my husband, I’d be a widow.” The car requires a lot of gas. I get cat-called every other time I’m at a gas station. Once, I go into the gas station to get a drink, and when I come out, a bunch of guys have parked me in. They want, they say, to have a word with me, little lady. We play automotive chicken which I win because I would rather smash the back of my ’73 Camaro into their IROC than have to stab one of them with the knife on my keychain.
Step three: It’s 2011. I’m on tour in a European country, on my own, escorted only by my foreign publisher. I am at a business dinner, and say I’m going to my room. My female editor embraces me; my male publicist embraces me and then puts his tongue in my ear, covering it with his hand so that the crowd of twenty professionals does not see. My choices are to say nothing to avoid making a scene in front of my publisher’s people, or to say FUCK YOU. I apparently was never offered the choice of not having a tongue in my ear.
Step four: It’s 2012. I buy a race car. Well, a rally car. Someone asks my male co-driver if I’m good in bed. Someone asks me if I got sponsorship because someone was ‘trying to check the woman box.’ People ask me if I drive like a girl. Yeah, I do, actually. Let’s play a game called: who’s faster off the start?
Step five: It’s 2014. I’m driving my Camaro cross-country on book tour. It breaks down a lot. I’m under the hood and a pick up truck stops beside me. “Hey baby,” asks the driver, “do you need any help?” “Yeah,” I reply, “do you have a 5/8 wrench?” He did not.
Step six: It’s 2015. It’s sixteen years after I learned that I was a thing to be touched and kissed and hooted at unless I took it upon myself to say no, and no again, and no some more, and no no no. My friend Tessa Gratton points out that a male author used casually sexist language in a brief interview. She is dragged through the muck for pointing out how deeply-rooted our systemic sexism is. The publishing industry rises to the defense of the male author as if he has been deeply wronged. I tweet that the language was indeed sexist, though I didn’t think it was useful to condemn said male author. A male editor emails me privately to ask me if maybe I wasn’t being a little problematic by engaging in the discussion?
Step seven. Still 2015. Someone very close to me confesses that her college boyfriend keeps trying to push her past kissing, and she doesn’t want to. I tell her to set boundaries, and leave him if he doesn’t. A month passes. This week I find out she just had sex for the first time after he urged her to have several glasses of wine. She doesn’t drink. She was crying. She says, “I didn’t say no, though.”
It’s been sixteen damn years. I’m tired of having to say no. I’m tired of the media telling me that it’s mouth breathing bros and rednecks perpetuating the sexism. No: I can tell you that the most insidious form is the nice guy. Who isa nice guy, don’t get me wrong. I carry my own prejudices that I work through, and I don’t believe in demonizing people who aren’t perfect yet — none of us are. But the nice guy who says something sexist gets away with it. The nice guy who says something sexist sounds right and reasonable. The nice guy’s not helping, though. It’s been sixteen years, and the nice guys are nice, but we’re still things to be acquired. We are still creatures to be asked on dates. We are still saying no, still shouting NO, still having to always again and again say “no, please treat me with respect.”
I was just invited to a car show; the well-meaning guy who asked wanted me to bring my souped up Mitsubishi. I clicked on the event page. It’s catered by Hooters. I’m not going. Yeah, it’s a little thing, but I have a lifetime of them. I’m taking my toys and going home.
“I can’t wait to get that little girl behind the wheel again.“
At 11 o’clock at night, you moved across the train car to sit far too close to two girls about half your age so you could interrupt our conversation to tell us how pretty we are. We said thank you, have a good night, and went back to our conversation.
You interrupted us a second time to say that you didn’t want to bother us, but we needed to hear it, how pretty we are. We said cool, thanks, have a good night, and went back to our conversation.
You interrupted us a third time to say you wouldn’t say anything else, you didn’t want to bother us, you just had to let us know. We said have a good night, and went back to our conversation.
This seemed to perplex you. You came all that way across a train car to bestow upon us this life altering knowledge - the fact we were pretty - and all you got was a polite thank you? You grumbled about gratitude, about how you better not end up on facebook, were we putting you on facebook? Why was my friend looking at her phone? Was she putting you on facebook? All you’d done was tell us we were pretty.
At this point, my friend says, “Sir, we’re trying to have a conversation. Please don’t be disrespectful.”
This was when you got angry. Disrespectful? YOU? For taking the time out of your day to tell us we were pretty? Did we know we were pretty?
“Yes, we knew,” says my friend.
Well, that was the last straw. How dare we know we were pretty! Sure, you were allowed to tell us we were pretty, but we weren’t allowed to think it independently, without your permission! And if we had somehow already known - perhaps some other strange man had informed us earlier in the day - we certainly weren’t allowed to SAY it! Where did we get off, having confidence in ourselves? You wanted us to know we were pretty, sure, but only as a reward for good behavior. We were pretty when you gifted it upon us with your words, and not a moment before! You raged for a minute about how horrible we were for saying we thought we were pretty, how awful we turned out to be.
I took a page out of your book and interrupted you. “Sir, you said you wouldn’t say anything else, and then you kept talking,” I said. “You complimented us, we said thank you, and we don’t owe you anything else. It’s late, you’re a stranger, and I don’t want to talk to you. We’ve tried to disengage multiple times but you keep bothering us.”
At this point, our train pulled into the next stop. My friend suggested we leave, so we got up and went to the door.
Seeing your last chance, you lashed out with the killing blow. “I was wrong!” you shouted at us as we left, “You’re ugly! You’re both REALLY UGLY!”
Fortunately, since our worth as human beings is in no way dependent upon how physically attractive you find us, my friend and I were unharmed and continued on with our night. She walked home; I switched to the next train car and sat down.
So, strange man, I know you’re confused. I don’t know if you’ll think about anything I said to you, but I hope you do learn this: when you give someone something - a gift, a compliment, whatever - with stringent stipulations about how they respond to it, you are not giving anything. You are setting a trap. It is not as nice as you think it is.
But you’ll be happy to know that when I sat down in the next car, a strange man several seats over called, “Hey, pretty girl. Nice guitar. How was your concert?”
“Thanks. Good,” I said, then looked away and put on my headphones, the universal sign for ‘I’d like to be left alone.’
“Wow. Fine. Whatever. Fucking bitch,” he said.
Fucking creepers. May I ask how feminism or anything similar would actually have prevented this from happening? This ya already socially unacceptable.
Men - because to be clear, I called them ‘strange men’ because they were strangers to me, not because there was anything abnormal about them - act this way because they are raised in a culture that lets them believe their time and opinions are more important than the time and opinions of women, and that as a consequence, they are owed women’s attention. They are socialized to believe women should be grateful to them for their attention, and that they are being denied something rightfully theirs when women are not.
Raising someone with feminism, the idea that all sexes/genders are equals and thus no party is beholden to or more important than another, would have prevented this by not allowing men to grow up expecting ‘rights’ that are not actually theirs. You say this is socially unacceptable, but there were 20+ people on that train who actively watched us being harassed and did not say a word. It is socially unacceptable, but this kind of thing happens to me and many other women multiple times a week, with often more traumatic results.
So, yes, I believe more feminism would prevent sexist moments like this. Also, water is wet, the atmosphere is 78% nitrogen, and cheese is addictive.
REBLOGGING FOR THE FUCKING COMMENTARY
Glad these girls stood up for themselves, but I don’t think feminism would fix this. There will always be assholes in the world, you can’t fix assholes.
Except you absolutely can.
People act out or misbehave when they think they can get away with it. It’s why people say things anonymously online that they would never dare say to someone’s face. It’s why crime is more common at night or dimly lit places. It’s why people feel emboldened to act when they have a crowd supporting them, or are in a group of their friends. It’s why men tend to harass women who are either alone or with other women, but not women who are with other men.
You can never 100% curb a behavior, it’s true; there are too many humans and we all vary in too many ways for one thing to be effective on everybody. But kids who grow up watching TV/reading books/playing games that tell them it’s acceptable to treat women (or really anyone who isn’t an able-bodied, cisgendered straight white male) badly, as lessors, as people who have equal rights in only a winkwinknudgenudge manner are going to grow up emulating the things they’ve learned through the media they’ve absorbed. Kids who see their parents, or other adults, or other kids their age treating people poorly and not being corrected or admonished grow up thinking that they too can act that way without getting in trouble.
Kids who grow up seeing people of all types being treated equally, seeing people who are openly intolerant being shut down by those around them rather than quietly allowed to continue, grow up emulating better behavior. Social acceptance is a powerful motivator. Think about how terrified you were as a teen of saying or doing the wrong thing and having people ridicule you or think you were lame. Imagine being that terrified of someone thinking you were a misogynist.
If a society taught these men to act this way, the same society can teach young, impressionable boys to act a better way. Sure, it’ll take awhile, but you have to let the ball start rolling first. Claiming something is unfixable isn’t helping anyone
Heart attacks symptoms are different for women. I recently learned this.
Everyone should know these things.
thanks to mainstream media and being unable to show breasts on TV, way too few people know about female signs of cardiac distress, and impending heart attacks. they only know about the “pain in the left arm” male symptom.
i had all these symptoms once and they sent me right to hospital
it was scary bc i didnt know these were the symptoms for female heart issues
Please, please, PLEASE, reblog this. i don’t know if I did save or called false alarm, with my boss’ life tonight. I felt I was being a bit paranoid, overreacting, but I told Mirage my thoughts and he, after reading over the article I showed him, immediately sprung into action and then shooed her off to the hospital. I don’t know if I did or not, but I knew she’d been super stressed. She’d off-handedly commented on her arm tingling and I asked her if she felt queasy on a hunch. I went to look at the symptoms and we went from there.
Holy shit, I didn’t even think the symptoms would be different between men and women. This is so hugely important and I don’t understand why we aren’t taught this.
One of the other symptoms that doesn’t get talked about , especially in women, is a “feeling of impending doom”. I am not even kidding, that is a legitimate diagnostic criteria.
Please - if you are feeling any of these symptoms and a sudden onset of “Holy shit the world is ending” do not let anyone tell you it’s “just nerves” or “just heartburn” or something.
Keep these in mind ESPECIALLY IF YOU’VE GOT HEART DISEASE IN YOUR FAMILY! So many more women die from heart attacks than because they don’t recognize the symptoms when they’re so different. Please stay safe and stay informed.
