Should be illegal: Sherlock in a velvet tux. They’re trying on suits for their wedding, and John pushed for trying the velvet in spite of Sherlock’s eye-rolling. The tux absorbs all light, making Sherlock’s skin glow the brighter. He fixes John with a challenging stare, all haughty disdain and thinly-veiled amusement.
“Hardly wedding-appropriate,” he drawls, turning slowly, and John feels hot, and reckless.
“We’re hardly wedding-appropriate,” he breathes, and Sherlock grins.
“True,” he agrees, turns to the salesman. “I’ll take it. But not for the wedding,” he adds, smile turning dark and sensuous as the velvet.
I have been blocked from all FB groups just now until Sunday - someone must have reported something I posted to FB. As I don’t post anything bad or against community guidelines, I’m thinking it was probably malicious. ALL my posts are gone - my fics and the lovely reader comments, my fic and podfic recs and links for other people, the artists I promote, my FTH posts to raise money for charity… It’s all gone, and I’m not going to lie - I’m gutted. Hours and hours of labor - gone. Are they pissed about my auction entries? Who knows, but now I can’t promote on FB until AFTER it is closed. There’s nothing I can do aside from ask for you to help - please reblog my links here on Tumblr so these nasty people don’t win
The most ironic lie ever told is that soldiers are prepared for battle knowing that they might die.
Nonsense. They may know, but they never truly bevieve in it. At least not completely, not in the depths of their souls, of their hearts. Even the most skeptical maintains that spark of faith, that animal instinct of survival as such as the human instinct of hope. The human being is, after all, a hopeless optimist. Everyone thinks they will be the exception, and it’s not until they feel the bullet piercing the skin, digging deep into the flesh and breaking the bones, or the bayonet digging into their lungs, that the penny drops.
With the blond medical officer it was different. He held out hope when the lead bullet had pierced his collarbone — even as he landed from the impact on a slashed rib from the chest of the soldier he was trying to mend; Even when the bone ruptured his femoral artery. The pain hadn’t been enough to knock him unconscious, and he’d been grateful for that. That way he could stake the blood until Murray arrived, he thought dizzily.
He knew he would make it through. He had to.
His ordinance arrived far too late.
They found the body leaning against a trench. It was already cold — they had to retreat, and were not able to return until days later. Flies surrounded it, attracted by the putrid smell of old blood, and the soldier hardly recognized him, so disfigured was his face, eternally anguished.
He had never seen him like this. The doctor had been always in a good mood, smiling or playing around. But that cerulean blue left no doubt.
They dug a shallow grave — Murray insisted he be buried alone, not roughly dumped in a communal grave, left to rot with dozens of other corpses. The commanders checked his credentials – an officer. They allowed it.
They wanted to break his fingers. His right hand was faithfully brandishing the scalpel with force. He had done his duty to the very end.
Murray did not allow it — let him be buried with it. The doctor in his element, he had said softly to the churned earth.
There were no honors, and the ordinance was the only one who prostrated beside the grave until he had finished the inscriptions on the makeshift wooden headstone. Then he got up, chased away the tears and left.
“Dr. John H. Watson
1851 - 1880
The kindest and bravest man I have ever known
Beloved comrade and illustrious doctor
May the Lord receive his soul”
——————————
Many miles away from that miserable place, an unremarkable consulting detective finishes a melancholy, pained tune. He was in his darkest mood, brooding and downcast. He had been like this for a few days, the housekeeper would tell his brother hours later, as a doctor carried a slender, unconscious, convulsing body into a hansom.
The young man gently lowers his violin into the comfortable armchair opposite to his — the one that had always been unoccupied. And, somehow he knew, would always remain that way.
He then picks up the syringe and draws the liquid up to the plunger.
———
Ways to die is a Sherlock Holmes fanfic of short — or not-so-short — one shots of some scenarios where either Mr. Sherlock Holmes or Dr. John Watson could have departed from this world.
Most fit in the canon context, but there will be exceptions. Each chapter will be a different scenario. Also on Ao3.
Summary:Holmes and Watson meet as young adults and develop a relationship. However, the day comes for Watson to leave for war, and a painful goodbye plays out as he and Holmes part ways at the train station.
Pairing:Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson (Granada versions/acd canon)
Warnings: angst, fluff,
I’d expected the day to come, but the happiness I’d been basking in for the past ten months had made me desire it to take longer and longer until it wouldn’t come at all. After meeting him, time went by too fast for me to leave now. Far too fast.
Holmes walked beside me as we reached the train station, other gentleman dressed in similar attire as myself beginning to climb aboard the smoking train after saying their goodbyes to their own loved ones. I felt Holmes’ eyes upon me as he waited for me to abandon him, rip the bandaid off and hopefully make this moment less excruciating. Although, I believe it was easy to say that we both were aware that it would be just as torturous regardless of how fast or slow this went, or how much longer I’d get to be with him until I left for lord knows how long and returned after what will feel like a lifetime, if I’m lucky enough to return at all, that is.
I closed my eyes before turning to face Holmes who was now observing the train, seemingly admiring it. I sighed to try and buy some time to think of the right words to voice, with no avail.
“It won’t be forever, you know.”
I said as gently as I could, to which Holmes turned back to face me, his eyes leaving their blissful thinking state and returning to the sombre appearance they’d held from the moment I’d told him about what today meant whilst at breakfast. Of course, it didn’t take much for him to fill in the silence before I even got a word out to say what was to happen later. He simply looked at me and said, “What time?” His voice slower and heavier than I’d ever heard it to be. And now the moment had finally come.
“There’s no guarantee that you will be back, Watson, and as much as I appreciate your attempts to conceal the fact, I’m afraid it’s something I’ve tried to come to terms with myself.”
I’d felt a sting in my chest that got harsher with every word that escaped his mouth.
“Well, have you?” Asked I as I fought to keep my voice steady, although I’ve learned rather quickly that hiding anything from Holmes was always a losing game.
His eyes stared into mine like daggers, and his lips formed a small, painful smile.
“Not in the least.”
And with that, I could hold my emotions back no more. I lunged at him and buried him into my arms in an embrace, feeling his arms tighten around me as if his life depended on it, his breathing unsteady in my ear as he ran his nose slightly on my neck.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered in his ear. It was all I could think to say.
He let out a quick and soft laugh before placing a kiss on my jaw.
“Please, you mustn’t be anything of the sort. You’re the most admirable man I’ve ever gotten the absolute privilege to meet, to hold, to kiss.”
“You speak of me as if I’ve died.” I joked.
Holmes failed to laugh.
“I’m afraid that in this moment, there’s not a trace of certainty to ease my mind and promise me you won’t do so.”
I breathed in sharply before pulling him away from my neck and placing both my hands on his cheeks to face me.
“I won’t. God as my witness. I’ve got far too many beautiful things to come back for. You, my dear, are the face of them all.”
I slid my left hand off his cheek and onto his shoulder and let my right hand’s thumb caress and trace his cheekbone as I rest my forehead upon his, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath in an attempt to keep my composure.
Holmes slid his hand upon my wrist and gripped it hard enough to where I felt my blood circulation on that arm slow.
“Do not make promises you cannot keep, John. Not now.”
“I won’t if you promise me something in return.”
“Anything.”
“Please, stay off those dreaded poisons.”
Holmes looked down away from my eyes and onto the cement ground underneath us. I’d been dreading the thought of him turning to his substances and abusing his body and miraculous mind whilst I’m away. Seconds passed and he continued to avoid my gaze, without an answer slipping his lips, only increasing the fear building up in my chest more and more.
“Sherlock…”
He continued to avoid my gaze with a sharp exhale, until under a whisper, I uttered the words,
“For me.”
I’ve learned with time that those words seemed to always touch a place within him that no other words of mine could ever reach. It always rose an immense feeling of adoration in my heart.
With that, he finally looked into me once more.
“I promise you.”
I rubbed my nose lightly on his and brought him closer, lacking care in what the people around us thought about it.
“I cannot afford to lose you. Swear to me, please.”
He smiled, his hand placing itself onto my neck.
“You never will. I swear it.”
The bubble we’d felt surrounded us away from the world had popped with the sound of the train whistle and the conductor yelling for the final riders to aboard the train.
“I must go.” I whispered, forcing my voice to form the words as I felt it weaken with emotion. And to my surprise, and slight horror, I witnessed a small droplet escape Holmes’ left eye and leave a shiny trail down the smooth skin on his face. I’d never seen him show this kind of emotion in the entire time we’ve known each other up to this point in time.
I’ve seen Sherlock Holmes in many states in different circumstances. I’ve seen him lost in thought when at times he forgets my presence as I observe his mind begin to swallow him whole and allow him to wander elsewhere away from his surroundings as he observes something, I’ve seen him close his eyes and lean his head back in bliss and pleasure as his ears savor the melody of a violin, or as we finally get our time alone and he allows me to cherish his being without the obnoxious barriers of his clothing to stop me, I’ve seen him groan in pain and annoyance as he stumbles backward into the corner of a ring after an especially hard blow to his nose from his opponent in a boxing match. I’ve seen blood run down his face; but not tears.
I had hoped I would never get the chance to do so.
I wiped the stray tear away with my thumb and planted a kiss on his forehead, caring less and less about the eyes that were surly upon us.
“It might take months, perhaps years, but I promise I’ll come back for you. I plan on keeping that promise to the very end.”
Holmes smiled and let out another small, quiet laugh.
“Please do so. After all, I am lost without my Boswell.”
I let out a small laugh of my own and returned the gentle smile.
“And I without you.”
We stood in silence, savoring our time together for another moment, until the conductor caught Holmes’ ear.
“Go on. No matter how long it takes, I’ll be here expecting your return.”
“You better be.”
I made note to glance around us to see if eyes were observing us, and when I failed to find any, I pressed a deep kiss onto his soft lips, tasting a lick of tobacco and lavender tea from his breakfast this morning. A very poor one, at that. I made a mental note to send him letters ordering him to maintain a less than unsustainable diet.
Holmes returned the kiss and pulled me closer by the collar on my soldier’s uniform, gripping it tight enough to where I feared he might rip it. His lips abandoned mine allowing him to breathe.
“Damn you John Watson and those magical lips of yours.”
I laughed and grabbed my luggage before placing a quick but passionate kiss on his lips once more and holding his hand, feeling it slip away as I climbed aboard the train quickly before it departed, and opened the window beside my seat, allowing my head to pop out as the train whistled in announcement of its departure.
My eyes caught Holmes’ once more. The train had not yet began to move, thankfully, and I watched Holmes walk quickly to the window and reach out for my hand for a final time which I painfully took and tried my absolute best to memorize the way it felt, his lips catching my gaze as he mouthed:
“I love you.”
The train began to move slowly, but not before I managed to mouth back:
“And I you.”
And with that, my fingers felt down his palm until they could no longer as the train began its journey. Holmes waved me goodbye with a smile I’ve only ever seen when he stood in front of me and me alone, as he fell behind more and more.
Not wanting to stick my head back inside the train, I watched him until he completely left my sight and vanished behind the train’s smoke. And when he did, I laid my head back onto the seat, and let the sob I’d been desperately fighting back out into the palm of my hand to suppress it from the ears of others.
“I will return to him.” I swore to myself.
“I must.”
Author’s note: forgive my punctuation it’s never been my strongpoint.
Description: John has an issue. He loves being back at Baker Street now that his marriage is over. The only thing is, he doesn’t fancy going the rest of his life without ever having sex again…
Review: John proposes a friends with benefits situation once he realizes he doesn’t want to date anymore for fear of Sherlock worrying that he’ll leave him again, and that is not something John wants to risk. Doesn’t want to have one-stsnds for the rest of his life either. Sherlock accepts his offer and cue the pining John and Sherlock indulging in his new-found enjoyment of sex.
Description: Working a case involving a bomber in London, all Lestrade knows is that something big happened with Sherlock and John in the autumn leading up to John’s recent divorce, but so far no one has yet seen fit to fill him in…
Review: Told from Lestrade’s POV of Sherlock and John’s misunderstandings post Mary. I love outside POV fics cause they really highlight how couple-y they are, and when they fight everyone feels the rift in the universe. Three Garridebs moment!
Description: John was Sherlock’s friend with benefits, but for John… Sherlock was everything. Only… Sherlock is a alpha and John is a beta. John always knew this arrangement between them couldn’t last. One day Sherlock would find an omega to mate with and then he’d have to let Sherlock go, no matter how it would destroy him. Omegas were the intended bond mates to alphas. Being a beta, John knew he held no place in Sherlock’s life, apart from being a second, and that would destroy him. That dreaded day came too soon. John was left with two choices… Become Sherlock’s second, or leave. John wasn’t a runner, but this… John couldn’t take this, so he accepted Mycroft’s offer and left Sherlock before the alpha could leave him.
Review: I’ve been wanting to read an omegaverse fic where they’re not “biologically compatible” so I was glad to find this fic! Sherlock has a secret upcoming arranged marriage and when John finds out he leaves, allowing Mycroft to hide him from Sherlock so he doesn’t get his feelings hurt all over again. Little does John know that Sherlock never actually married her.
Description: After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date…
Review: I enjoyed every second of this fic. I’m a sucker for fics about Sherlock with other men and John being supportive yet jealous. Can’t get enough of it, there needs to be more. I particularly enjoy with this one how long the fic is and John’s struggles with his himself between wanting everything for Sherlock and letting himself indulge during their “coachings.” I also surprisingly liked the OC male character, which is always nice! Can’t recommend this one enough.
Description: Sherlock has a complicated relationship with drugs, but John gives Sherlock an ultimatum. What John doesn’t realize is what lengths Sherlock might have to go to in order to replace them. What Sherlock doesn’t realize is that John is okay with that.
Review: This is a really interesting set of fics. The series is marked incomplete and was last updated in 2013 so I doubt it will continue, but I enjoyed what’s posted. Sherlock gives up drugs and replaces it with a BDSM relationship with John, but then a case comed along to drudge’s up both Sherlock’s and John’s pasts. I really hope that this series will update because we dont get to see the conclusion of the case, but I loved seeing the progress of John and Sherlock’s relationship. There are a lot of extensive descriptive scenes, and internal thoughts, so this is a good one for you if you like character studies.
Description: They’re sitting in the living room one night after finishing their curry takeaway when Sherlock looks up from his violin. “John,” he says, “would you come hug me, please?”
Review: This is so incredibly cute and sweet for such a short fic. I adore these two.
Description: Set toward the end of The Lying Detective. With Ella’s help, John decides to start actively pursuing what he wants in spite of the demons standing in his way.
Review: This series has two installments, one from John’s POV and the other from Sherlock’s. I love both of them, they add to each other and isn’t just a retelling of the same story. There’s a special place in my heart for fics that center around therapy, Sherlock and John trying to help themselves be better with each other. So this fic was such a joy to read and I probably will again.
Description: John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock…
Review: The reverse of fake relationship for a case with a friends to lovers trope. Instead of pretending to be in a relationship, they have to make doubly sure they don’t accidentally come across as one, even though they aren’t (yet). I love this author and am always excited whenever they post an update. I really enjoyed the 180 approach to fake-it-for-a-case because the angst is different and kind of refreshing in a way, especially since they aren’t in a relationship at the beginning.
Description: Ten years after sending John off to the army, Sherlock finds him again in the worst way.
Review: John and Sherlock drift apart after John goes off to the army, but Sherlock will wait forever for him. He finds out that John is homeless and had been for years after he’s been discharged, and is hurt that he was never told of John’s return. He tried to convince him to move back in with him. I haven’t read any homeless John fics before so this was a nice change! I liked how both John and Sherlock’s feelings and motivations were talking about and acknowledged.
Description: As Sherlock and John renovate Baker Street with Rosie underfoot, Sherlock can’t help but wondering how he could possibly convince John to just stay indefinitely…
Review: So sweet and adorable. Pining Sherlock has a taste for domestic bliss, and John tries to figure out what’s best for Rosie while navigating what he wants. I love everything by this author, this fic included. Fluffy with a hint of emotional angst!
