#friends with benefits

“Do you want to touch it?”

My best friend stands in front of me, his hard cock arc-ing above the waistband of his boxers. He takes a step towards me, and it bobs up and down.

I suppose this should feel weird. We know each other so well that we’re practically brother and sister. And although I had always hoped that my first time would be with someone I loved and trusted, I never thought it would be with him. But here he is, with his dick standing up hard for me, and I want him too.

I’ve only ever seen hard dicks on the Internet. They look massive and exaggerated. I stare at my best friend’s cock, and it’s not as intimidating as what I’ve seen online. Still, I find myself wondering how it’s ever going to fit.

“Go ahead. Touch it.”

I reach tentatively towards him and let my fingers travel along his skin. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but I am surprised at the silkiness of it.

I wrap my fingers around his shaft a little uncertainly. It feels warm and heavy in my hand. I slide my hand up and back down. My best friend shivers. I take a firmer grip and make the same motion again and he lets out an uneven throaty breath. I smile. I continue to stroke him. I like the feel of his cock in my hand.

“Your cock is nice,” I say shyly. “I like touching it.”

He smiles. He has had many lovers and his confidence is obvious.

I kneel in front of him and let my hand move down to his balls. I feel the weight of them. He lets out a moan and I jerk my hand away.

“No. That felt good,” my best friend whispers as he guides my hand back. I squeeze gently and he moans again.

His cock bobbles inches from my face. I take hold of it and stroke it a couple of times. I know guys like to have their dicks sucked and I wonder what his tastes like. I lean forward and cautiously lick the tip with my tongue. My best friend inhales sharply. I look up at him and he nods at me to continue. I flick my tongue out again and take a longer taste. He tastes salty.

Gathering confidence, I take the head into my mouth. I don’t know what to do, so at first I suck it tentatively, like a Tootsie Pop. Then I try sucking on his cock like a Popsicle, moving my mouth up and down. Finally, I try swirling my tongue around the top and down the shaft.

“Oh god,” my best friend shudders and makes a choking sound. “You’re going to make me come.”

Abruptly, he pulls me up and leads me by the hand towards the couch. He undoes the button at the waistband of my shorts, tugs them down over my hips, and tosses them to the floor.

I tremble as his hands slide under my t-shirt. His hands caress my skin, gliding over my ribs. He pulls the garment up and over my head. And all at once, I am overcome with shyness.

My best friend has never seen me without clothes. Suddenly I am worried that he won’t like what he sees. My body is more boy than girl. Years of track and field in high school and college have left me with a figure that is lean, toned, and athletic. But while my tummy is enviably flat, I have no real curves to speak of. I am a late bloomer and I feel like an ugly duckling.

I move to cover up, but my best friend takes my hand and makes me turn slowly in a circle in front of him. I can feel him appraising me as he looks at me from all angles. When I come back around to face him, he licks his lips.

“I like your lacy panties,” he says. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

I bite my lip and giggle nervously.

He draws me down onto the couch and lies beside me. I can feel the rigid heat of his hard cock pressing insistently against my thigh. He strokes my bare legs.

“You should never feel shy about your body,” he whispers. His voice is husky. “You look amazing.”

He strokes my belly and lets his hands drift lower. I trace the muscles on his back as he slides his hands under the elastic of my panties. I feel his fingers graze the growing wetness between my legs. He dips a finger into the moisture and lightly rubs the hard nub of my clit. The feeling is so intense, I try to push him away and pull him closer all at the same time.

He pushes my panties down now, and I gladly kick free of them. He spreads my legs wide and reaches between them once more. His fingers find my clit again and he teases and strokes it skillfully. I writhe beneath him. Slowly he presses a finger into my slick aching pussy. My body arcs towards him. When he carefully eases a second finger inside, I whimper and clutch at his shoulders. My best friend laughs softly and murmurs soothingly as he slides his fingers in and out.

“Please…” I whisper, not really knowing what I need.

My best friend sits up and pulls me onto his lap. I am straddling him and he positions his cock at my slippery opening. He maneuvers me onto him, letting me guide the speed of his entry. I feel my body contract around his hard cock. It feels enormous.

“My god. You’re so tight,” my best friend whispers hoarsely.

“No,” I gasp. “You’re too big.”

He eases me up almost off his cock and gently lowers me for a second time. He penetrates deeper. I let out a soft cry. My body stretches somewhat uncomfortably to accommodate him. My pussy relaxes and clenches around his cock. I am sure that he won’t fit. He guides me up and down again and enters me more deeply still. Once more, and I let out a groan that is half a sob as I feel him fill me completely.

I sit motionless for a moment, feeling my best friend’s cock snug inside me. The muscles of my pussy constrict and flutter around him. His hands firmly grip my waist. He begins to guide me with his hands and I begin to rock and move in his lap. I slide up and down on my best friends cock, feeling him fill me again and again. I find a rhythm and rock back and forth while his hands rove all over my body. He cups my small firm breasts and strokes my back. And he hugs me to him as I grind against him.

I wriggle faster and faster in his lap until he gasps that he won’t be able to hold on any more. My breath is coming in tiny gulps and I stammer that I won’t be able to either.

With that, my best friend pushes me onto my back and kneels between my legs. He grips my hips and plunges into me again and again. It feels as though the room is whirling. He drives himself deep into me and when we come, it feels like a wave is breaking over me. My body arches as I gasp and shudder. I wrap my legs around my best friend’s waist and pull him deeper inside me. My pussy contracts and pulses around his cock as I buck against him. He jerks and goes rigid and I feel him explode inside me, thrusting deep.

My best friend collapses onto me and we lie there catching our breaths. When he rolls off me, I feel his cum spill out of me. He strokes my hair and asks if I’m okay. I smile and nod.

I tell him that I hope things won’t get weird between us and he laughs and assures me that it doesn’t have to. Then he tells me I have a lot of potential, and I let out a naughty giggle.

I fall asleep happy, knowing that we will be able to share more times like this and I realize that I might never be able to get enough of my best friend’s cock.

inthetags:

reblog and put a trope you hate in the tags

omegaversehellscape:

Omegaverse friends with benefits ideas

- omega/omega hooking up under the guise of getting experienced before finding alphas but they realize they are way too into other omegas from this experience

- omega best friend as a rut partner because the alpha is afraid of hurting people during it but they’re know their best friend will happily put them in their place

- general crazy shenanigans of trying to hide the scent of them hooking up from their other friends. Like yes I smell like that alpha but it’s actually because I stole their cologne and not because we’re hooking up

- associating each other’s scents with sex so much that they get flustered when they smell the other person on one of their mutual friends

- accidentally sending their heat/rut schedule to the group chat with all their friends instead of just the other person and having to lie their way out of that

- showing up places together at the same time because they took the same car so they could hook up afterwards

- trying to convince your other friends that yes they are still looking for a partner and have started online dating but no they don’t need someone for their next heat that’s already covered no they won’t say who it is

The very first sex study that I ever published appeared in the Journal of Sex Research in 2011, and it explored similarities and differences in how men and women approach friends with benefits (FWBs). In the decade since, I’ve co-authored a total of four journal articles on the subject plus one book chapter and 10 conference presentations. Along the way, I’ve learned a lot! In this post, I’ll share some of the key things I discovered through this work. 

On Average, Men and Women Want Different Things in FWBs

In the 2011 study mentioned above, we surveyed 411 adults, all of whom said they currently had at least one FWB [1]. Participants ranged in age from 18 to 65 and most (86%) were heterosexual. Everyone was asked what they hoped would come of their FWB arrangement in the future, which could mean staying FWBs long-term, becoming romantic partners, becoming friends only, or having no relationship of any kind.  

It turned out that men and women provided very different answers to this question. While the vast majority of women (69%) wanted their relationship to change in some way, the majority of men (60%) wanted to keep things the same. In other words, women were more likely to see their FWBs as a temporary state, whereas men were more likely to see their FWBs as an end state. 

In what way(s) did women want their FWB to change? Women (compared to men) were more likely to hope that they would become a romantic couple (43% vs. 24%, respectively). Women were also more likely than men to hope that they would eventually go back to being just friends (20% vs. 10%, respectively). 

The Sexual Behaviors of FWBs and Romantic Partners Differ in Several Ways

In a conference presentation I gave at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, I discussed results from a survey of approximately 1,100 adults who either had a current friend with benefits (26%) or romantic partner (74%) [2]. Participants were 29 years old on average and most identified as heterosexual (74%). 

Everyone was asked to indicate whether they had engaged in a variety of specific sexual practices with their partner, from vanilla to kink.

When comparing across relationship type, one of the differences that emerged was that romantic partners were more likely to kiss one another than FWBs, although this difference was quite small. However, larger differences were observed for kink and multi-partner activities. 

FWBs were about twice as likely to have had a threesome, while romantic partners were 50% more likely to have tried bondage. Why is that? It may be because BDSM desires are more likely to be shared and acted upon in relationships characterized by high levels of sexual communication, like romances (and, indeed, in some of my other studies, I’ve found that romantic partners report an easier time communicating about their sexual desires in general than FWBs). That said, desires for multi-partner sex specifically are probably more likely to be acted upon in relationships where there isn’t a lot of pressure to maintain sexual exclusivity, like FWBs (which I have consistently found to be mostly non-monogamous).

Another area where the sexual behaviors of FWBs and romantic partners differ is in practicing safe-sex. In a 2014 paper we published involving a sample of 376 people who currently had either a FWB or a romantic partner, we found that FWBs reported using condoms more frequently than did romantic partners [3].

The Long-Term Outcomes of FWBs are Mixed; Most Seem To Dissolve Within 1 Year

In my most recent study of FWBs, we conducted a one-year longitudinal study of 192 people who reported having a FWB [4]. We surveyed them at two different points in time, spaced apart by about one year. The sample was predominately heterosexual (72%) with an average age of 30. 

In the first survey, participants were asked what they hoped would happen with their FWB in the future. They were also asked how satisfied they were with their relationship and how much they communicated about relationship rules and boundaries. In the second survey, we asked whether the nature of their relationship was the same or if it had changed—and, if so, why.

We found that some relationship outcomes were more likely than others. After one year, 26% were still FWBs, 15% had become romantic partners, 28% had gone back to being just friends, and 31% reported having no relationship of any kind with their former FWB. Put another way, the vast majority of FWBs dissolved over the course of the year. However, most participants still maintained at least some type of relationship with the other person, with about 1 in 3 cutting off all contact.

Whether an FWB Works Out Depends On Your Expectations And Communication Level

In that longitudinal study I mentioned, we found that some relationship goals seemed more attainable than others. Specifically, those who wanted to go back to being just friends appeared to be the most successful: 59% of those who desired that outcome at Time 1 attained it at Time 2. 

Those who wanted to remain FWBs long-term were somewhat less successful, with 40% of those desiring it at Time 1 reporting that they were still FWBs at Time 2. By contrast, those who wanted to transition into romantic partners were the least successful, with just 15% of those who initially wanted that outcome getting it after one year.

Also, among those participants who reported maintaining at least some kind of relationship with their partner over time—whether it was sexual or non-sexual—they reported more communication about setting ground rules at Time 1. Those who were less communicative were more likely to report having no relationship whatsoever at Time 2.

We found a similar pattern of results for friendship satisfaction: those who were happier with their friendship at the outset were more likely to maintain some sort of relationship over time.

These findings suggest that the real key to making FWBs work seems to have a lot to do with matching expectations, excellent communication, and a solid friendship to start. 

Takeaways

There’s a LOT I could say about FWBs based on the number of studies I’ve conducted and I don’t have time to get into all of them in this post, but I hope this gives you a flavor for some of the key things that I learned through all of this work.

I started this line of research initially because I had a lot of students taking my human sexuality classes asking how to make a FWB work. I didn’t have a great answer then because I didn’t have any data to go off of—but now I do!

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click herefor more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and PsychologyonFacebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTubeandInstagram.

[1] Lehmiller, J. J., VanderDrift, L. E., & Kelly J. R. (2011). Sex differences in approaching friends with benefits relationships. The Journal of Sex Research, 48, 275-284.

[2] Lehmiller, J.J. (2017, November). Experiences with kink and group sex among friends with benefits and romantic partners. Paper presented at the Annual Meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, Atlanta, GA.

[3] Lehmiller, J. J., VanderDrift, L. E., & Kelly, J. R. (2014). Sexual communication, satisfaction, and condom use behavior in friends with benefits and romantic partners. Journal of Sex Research, 51(1), 74-85. 

[4] Machia, L. V., Proulx, M. L., Ioerger, M., & Lehmiller, J. J. (2020). A longitudinal study of friends with benefits relationships. Personal Relationships, 27(1), 47-60.

Image Source: 123RF

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• Are There Different Types of “Friends With Benefits?”

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So, is having this kind of relationship too much to ask for?

.ೃ࿐ few night stands ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

heyyyyy!! I’m working on a new story called (for now lol) “few night stands” and I’d like you guys to help me out with it!!

Just to set up the plot lol, it’s about a girl who owns a flowershop and the guy that owns the tattoo shop right in front of it.

It’s mostly gonna be set while she’s pregnant but i don’t know if HE should be the one to have gotten her pregnant and them getting closer because of it, or if she got pregnant a little bit before meeting him.

What do you think? Comment or send an ask!! Or any vibe you get from the story, anything you wish would happen, I’d love for this to be collaborative <3

I said I wanted my HAIR played with not my FEELINGS but ok

will you please say something?

you should know if you come any closer, i’m not letting you go.

no strings attached(2011)

,,You just want what you can‘t have.“

wetogetherdarling