#klaus hargreeves
Klaus: So how are you liking Twitter so far?
Five: The Wendy’s Twitter account just told me to go fuck myself
Klaus: I bet you haven’t done a single good deed today.
Five: That’s not true at all; in fact, I prevented a murder just earlier this morning.
Klaus: Oh?! Wow, Five, that’s wonderful. How did you manage that?
Five:Self Control.
Diego: We need money.
Klaus: I have an idea!
Ben: We’re not selling your bath water.
Klaus: I have no ideas.
Klaus: Hey, can you tuck me in?
Five: This,, this is a shovel-
Klaus: Just spread the dirt over me as evenly as possible thanks.
Klaus, talking to a dog: you’re soft. are you even aware of your mortality? of course ur not. u pure, wholesome and sentient unselfish being. do u feel that? that’s my heart. i love you. look at those ears. here take my wallet
Klaus: I like when you’re in the grocery store and you see people buying eggs because they always pick up the carton and then open it like it’s a metal briefcase full of cash involved in a drug deal and they’re confirming it’s money. “Don’t bother counting it, it’s all there. 12.” Then they always pick one up and inspect it like, “Yeah, it’s Grade A alright…The real deal.”
Ben: People are checking to see if any of the eggs are cracked, you walnut
—
Klaus:Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we’re landing immediately. The bad news? We’re crash-landing.
Klaus: Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?
All of the Hargreeves are Aromantic! You don’t agree! Okay! Too bad! They told me themselves!!
2/2
All of the Hargreeves are Aromantic! You don’t agree! Okay! Too bad! They told me themselves!!
½
incorrect-umbrellacademy-quotes:
the rest of the academy: permission to die?
five: permission denied
by far the best sibling relationship this season was allison and klaus. that shit was so sweet. like allison JUMPED into that fucking pool to hug him, klaus dragging her to safety after she uses her powers on that c*p, allison putting a blanket over him after he drunkenly crashes on her couch, them gossiping, the way klaus was like ‘wanna get drunk and cry together :)’ and allison was like ‘yeah :) but not on this shit lmao i’ll go make us something nice’, the way she was laughing at all his stupid ass jokes and shit like “…with my husband” “who is this lunatic!?” and their little conversation when they’re about to have a family reunion in ep4. “le petit mort, le petit mort.” “What? You don’t speak french.” “It’s ‘the little death’ ” and allison just Bursts into laughter. and when left to their own devices they were just like “wanna get tacos?!?? vanya you wanna come with??? :)” and then they just have a dance party together! not to mention how klaus just walked into allison’s home first thing he did was hug her and then when he Finally saw the dead body in her living room he was like ‘wig…so are we gonna burn or bury this guy lmao???’. like they were so fun and you just KNOW that those two love and care about each other a LOT. and they sure as shit missed each other too…
can someone who’s watched the umbrella academy season 2 pls tell me if klaus gets to see dave again?
he does but it’s complicated
The line “frogs are bitches and we do not negotiate with terrorists” was genuinely the funniest fucking thing that happened all season
honestly, one of the funniest things abt the Hargreeves siblings is that good old Reggie educated them well, probably in every way possible, meaning that they have at least some basic knowledge abt most things, from ballroom dancing (as confirmed in canon) to physics and yet, despite all that, they are all complete and total dumbasses anyway
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ALTTHE UMBRELLA ACADEMY
S1E07 ‘The Day That Was’ ||| S3E01 'Meet The Family’
