klaus: im never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you, never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie, and hurt you
An Umbrella Academy AU featuring Flight Attendant!Klaus Hargreeves & Pilot!Dave Katz
A/N:I promise I am still writing my murder mystery (new chapter coming soon!) but sometimes an idea just burrows into your brain and makes a little home. Like blowfly. Or a severe case of head lice.
Anyway, here’s an enemies to lovers slow burn featuring Flight Attendant Klaus and Pilot Dave having a series of sexy misunderstandings which will culminate, eventually, in smut.
Dedicated to the people responsible for planting these thoughts in my head: Naomi, Jenni, Twisty and Gray. Bon appétit. And thank you so much to @allisoooon for her amazing Photoshop skills, featured above. ❤️
SUMMARY:Pilots are all the same: stuck up, arrogant, full of their own importance. Klaus would never dream of sleeping with one. Flight attendants have standards and he’s not about to lower his for anyone. Not even the new guy - the pretty blond-haired one with the dimples and the body like a Men’s Health cover model. Nope. No siree Bob. No way, no how…
SNIPPET:This is his favourite part.
It’s not the fake smile he’s forced to wear or the fact that after nearly 11 hours spent waiting on these people hand and foot that he finally gets to see the back of them, waddling their asses off the plane with their cranky children and carry on luggage, nor the fact that each passenger sends him a wan but sincere smile of thanks as they disembark.
No, none of that. It’s the fact that as soon as the plane door opens he can sense the air is different here. The stale smell of London farts is replaced with the dry Nevada heat and with it comes the promise of slick, suntanned bodies, frozen margaritas by the pool and the ding-ding-ding-ding of a million slot machines all begging to be fed and to have their big, satisfying buttons pushed.
That part never gets old. Even if the passengers themselves succeed in wearing his patience.
“Take care. Have a great trip,” says Klaus, waving each one off with a practiced smile and a pageant-style hand wave. There goes the woman who changed her baby’s diaper across three empty seats and tried to hand it to him when she was done.
“Have a lovely vacation.”
There’s the man who clipped his toenails into a paper cup and stuffed it in the pocket of the seat in front of him.
“Thanks for travelling with us, have a safe onward journey.”
There’s the honeymoon couple who got far too tipsy on champagne and attempted to pass their violent vomiting off as airsickness.
“Hope you feel better soon. Auf weidersehen!”
Klaus maintains his rictus grin as they shuffle off one by one. After a while, he feels the warm heat of lips hovering by his ear. “I can’t wait to get to the hotel,” says Lila. “My feet are killing me.”
“You’re still coming out tonight though, right?” Klaus asks in between affected pleasantries.
“Only as long as we don’t have to go back to that awful club with the neon body paint. Took me weeks to get that shit out of my hair after last time.”
“Atta girl,” says Klaus, passing her the kind of sideways glance that promises they absolutely will end up in that club again and her hair absolutely will get full of glow-in-the-dark body paint if Klaus has anything to do with it.
