klaus: i am covered in blood for sexy reasons

klaus: also, i just got stabbed

allison, holding up an unlabeled bottle: is this whiskey or perfume?

klaus: lemme see

klaus: *takes the bottle and chugs it*

klaus: it’s perfume

allison: i know we don’t get along, but i got you this bath bomb as a peace offering. whenever you feel stressed, just run yourself a bath and throw this in. i promise, all your worries will be gone in seconds

leonard, opening the package: this is a toaster

allison: do you take constructive criticism?

klaus: not without crying

luther:how would you rate your pain?

klaus:0/10.

luther:how- your arm is literally going the wrong way-

klaus:as in 0/10 would not recommend

luther:

klaus:very not gucci, does not slap, no thanks

allison: you’re like school in july

leonard:

allison: no class

diego: your existence is confusing

klaus:how?

diego: your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me

Klaus: Vanya why are you blushing

Vanya:nothing

Inside Vanya’s head:

Vanya: Yep definitely nothing idk what you mean I’m not blushing

Five: we have to save the world from the apocalypse.

Klaus: *already walking out the door* ok boomer

Klaus and Dave starGAYzing

Klaus: Sometimes I just like to look at the stars and wonder what it all means.

Dave: *looks up at the stars*

Stars: Wanna make out

Dave: *looks at Klaus*

Klaus: *winks at him*

The apocalypse: *is about to come*

Reggie:

YoungLuther: Do you even exercise

Young Klaus: I’m a runner

Young Luther:Really?

Young Klaus: Yeah, I run late, run from my problems, and run my mouth *finger guns*

Allison: Klaus you need to stop

Klaus: *rubbing glitter from the floor onto his face* BuT.. I mUsT b E FabUlOus

Klaus:His name was Dave

Diego:

Leonard: *gets down on one knee in front of vanya*

Allison: Omg it’s finally happening

Leonard: *falls over*

Allison: The poison is kicking in

Things: *get tough*

Luther:

Me when Five turned back time after Klaus finally saw Dave again: