Request: Hello love! Can you write with something like rebel and force sensetive reader and Kylo kidnaps her but he doesn’t want rebels to come so he takes her to Naboo instead? They spend time there and reader is nice person so they slowly start falling for each other? I was thinking like kinda fairytale setup like dresses he gives her, fancy meals etc. Picnic next to the waterfalls like Anakin and padme would be a nice bonus for @imaginesyes
It has been some time since I have been, how to put it… In captivity on this planet? It all started a long time ago, for several years I had done everything possible to try to go unnoticed by the war that was happening everywhere, I knew perfectly well that something in me made me different from others, and for that reason, I decided to live with a low profile, I didn´t want to attract the attention of anyone, not the separatist groups, or those who called themselves rebels and much less the First Order, at the end of the day I was sure that if someone noticed that peculiarity that I had, they wouldn’t hesitate to spread the word and eventually I would have someone behind me looking for me.
I realized that I was able to connect with the Force when I was a teenager and to be honest, at first, I was very scared, I didn’t understand what was happening or how I could do what I was doing, but with the passage of the years, I accepted that that was my nature and I couldn’t deny it, so I cultivated it as best I could.
When my parents passed away, I completely put aside the business and commercial life we had and isolated myself, I built a small cabin from scratch in a quarry near our town and dedicated myself to planting what I could, slowly, I became a self-sufficient person. All this time I stayed out of the conflicts that were happening outside, never in my life did I think that I would end up in the center of everything.
One night, I still remember it perfectly, while I was meditating, I connected with a strange energy. At first, I was very scared, I couldn´t understand what was responding to me, so I immediately cut my meditation. It took a few weeks before I was encouraged to do it again.
The next time I connect with that energy, try to prolong it as long as I can. Little by little, night after night, I connected with that entity more often. I didn’t know what it was, who it was, or where in the Galaxy it was, but I felt quite comfortable and intrigued to have made such a connection. I never suspected anything, I never thought that it could be something that would hurt me, I simply felt that it was someone like me out there and that, even with my self-exile in the middle, it made me feel accompanied… Until that night arrived.
It all started like a small whisper that intensified, “Where are you?”; A pair of eyes that pierced the gloom of the space that divided us. One question only. An answer from me that I would later regret “Cantonica”.
And now he’s dear and so unsure
I wonder why I didn’t see it there before
A couple of days passed until the consequence of my actions resonated. It was a day like any other, I never thought that something out of my routine would happen. I woke up, had breakfast, and planned my day: check and maintain my herbs, fetch some water from a nearby well, take the opportunity to wash some clothes, and go quickly to town to find some supplies that I had scarce.
When I returned home, it was already beginning to get dark, the door was closed and everything in my home seemed to be in order until I entered the living room.
A shadowy black figure was sitting on my sofa, slightly lit by the fire in the fireplace, which he had surely lit while waiting for my return.
I was completely paralyzed in place, the basket in my hands fell to the ground and some of the apples that I had collected during the day rolled on the ground, reaching his feet.
The silence was sepulchral, I could see how his body curved towards the floor and slowly, one of his hands took one of the apples that was at his feet. Immediately afterward, his entire body rose from my sofa, he was a huge black mass, I couldn´t distinguish any feature in his figure, his shoulders were wide, his entire body was covered by a black cape that seemed to blend with the shadows of the stay and his face was covered by a mask.
My only reaction was to try to run away. In seconds one of his hands grabbed my arm and my back hit his chest, where he wrapped both arms around me and lifted me off the ground.
I screamed, kicked, tried my best to break his hold on my body. Little by little I ended up getting tired, my mind kept bringing a thousand scenarios: He will it kill me? What is he doing here, what does he want? Who is he? Why me? Just when I stopped fighting him, he released me, and my feet hit the ground again, I immediately turned to look at him.
“Don’t you recognize me?” A distorted metallic voice came out of him, I shook my head slightly as I took a step back. My body was tired of trying to get rid of him, my legs were shaking, a cold chill ran down my spine and the room was slowly beginning to darken.
“It was you who brought me here…” He spoke again, at that moment I understood everything, that Beast was the source of the energy with which I had connected the previous nights, what had I done? At that moment, the panic completely seized me, with one last effort, I tried to run, but with a few steps he grabbed me again “No!” I yelled as loud as I could “What are you doing here?” I tried to separate my body from his with all my might “You know perfectly what I have come for” that metallic screech resounded in my ears with peculiar annoyance.
No, no, no. I didn´t want to, I couldn´t believe it, “Please…” the tears ran down my cheeks “Please… Leave me alone…” I sobbed uncontrollably, while my body collapsed on his, rendered by the struggle “Inside you, you know that I can’t” his arms held me tighter “Please…” my cry was already a single whisper “Just sleep” he passed one of his hands in front of my face.
He lifted me in his arms, while my eyelids closed completely.
The firelight was completely extinguished.
The last I remember of that night is the sound of his footsteps, I never understood why it had happened.
And now he’s dear and so unsure
I wonder why I didn’t see it there before
When I woke up I was in a foreign place. It was a small cabin, quite minimalist in the middle of a forest, surrounded by absolutely nothing but trees, I could suspect that near where I was there was a body of water since I could hear it, a small waterfall perhaps, or a small lake.
I walked a little through that small place, I had everything I needed, clothes, food, products for my care. Even though the place was a bit cozy, I felt quite scared, I still didn´t understand what was happening, however, I found enough comfort in the fact that that black figure wasn´t with me.
I spent a few days in solitude, days that I took the opportunity to go into the surroundings of the cabin. I wanted to know if there was a nearby place where I could ask for help, but I didn’t find anything.
One afternoon, returning home, I noticed that there was something strange, the door of the cabin was open, smoke was coming out of the chimney and a small light illuminated the main room, I understood that that black figure had returned and before entering I contemplated the possibility to flee, but where? Besides, if he had been able to trace me to Cantonica, he would be more than capable of finding me in this place, so, despite my desire to do so, I entered the cabin.
He was sitting again on a sofa in front of the fire, this time I could observe him better, he wasn´t wearing his helmet, so I could see his long, black and wavy hair “Where were you?” his voice sounded very deep, very different without that mask, I didn’t know what to answer so I remained silent “I asked you a question!” he yelled and his voice echoed through all the walls “I went out to see the surroundings” I answered fearfully, with a blow he got up from his place and in a few steps he reached where I was, one of his hands held my chin and looked at me in the eyes “You will never leave this place if I don´t allow it!” at that moment panic took hold of me again, my legs were shaking and I closed my eyes and a few tears escaped. His hand left my face and I could feel him walking past me “I left food in the kitchen…” I could hear a small sigh from him “I also left you some clothes and supplies in your room” and without saying more he left the cabin slamming the door.
These types of encounters were repeated a few more times, every time he came to see me he left me supplies, dresses made with fabrics that I had never seen before, and some other gifts, such as necklaces, bracelets, and sweets. I didn’t understand what was happening. Who was this man? Why had he brought me to this place? What did he want from me?
One of those many nights that he had come to see me I decided it was time to confront him, I appreciated the details he had with me, but I couldn’t say that I was grateful, at the end of the day, this man had kidnapped me and I still didn’t know why.
“Who you are?” I asked before he went out the door again “That doesn’t matter” he answered without even turning to look at me, for a moment my blood boiled, I was tired of him appearing and disappearing without giving me explanations, without saying anything “Of course it matters!” I didn’t notice the tone of my voice, and yet he kept walking without saying anything to me “Is this all a twisted little fantasy of yours?”, he was about to reach the door when he turned his face suddenly, I could notice how his brow frowned “You´re exceeding a limit that you should not cross” he threatened me raising one of his hands and pointing one of his fingers at me, something in my stomach told me that I should stop with this confrontation, but I couldn't… “I need answers!” now it was me who was walking towards him with an outstretched hand and a finger pointing at him “I know you have brought me here because I manipulate the Force!” I yelled at him as my finger sank into his chest “But I don’t know why I’m here or why you’re doing this and…” his always stoic face, began to flood with a red color “I’m done! I will not continue with this! ” Suddenly a roar was present and all the furniture in the house went flying “You will do what I tell you!” he yelled as he paced back and forth “I’m not your toy!” Even though my body was shaking with fear and helplessness, my anger was even greater, “You can’t have me here” I threw it in his face once more “Of course I can and I will continue to do so” he turned his back on me once more and went out the door, I ran after him to reach him, but the darkness of the forest didn´t let me see him…
She glanced this way, I thought I saw
And when we touched she didn’t shudder at my paw
Once again, I was alone in that place, without knowing what to do or why, full of anger, anger, and fear…
A few weeks went by without him showing up at the cabin, so I take advantage of all those days to tidy up the house, clean, and review some of the things that he had brought. The truth is that I refused to wear several of the clothes that he had given me, as well as the jewels, so I had simply put it away without paying any more attention, but now, with many time alone, I looked closely at it and I could notice each one of it were quite exquisite.
The days continued to pass without knowing anything about him, for some strange reason, I was beginning to miss his presence, I hadn´t noticed before, but the truth is that he was quite a handsome man, although, every time this idea crossed my mind I felt quite guilty and angry at me.
The weeks became months, I began to wonder if I would see him again or if I had to accept the idea that I was stranded in that place with no one else around me. I began to have small panic attacks due to my loneliness and some nights I implored to see him again.
One morning I went for a walk to the nearby stream, indeed, it had a small waterfall, it was a comfortable place that filled me with tranquility, when I returned to the cabin, I noticed that the door was open and my heart jumped, I didn’t know if it jolts with joy or scared, but I ran inside right away.
There were a few pieces of furniture lying around, I started to feel scared. I kept going until I reached the bathroom, where I found him lying on the floor, he was injured. I immediately rushed to the ground and tried to hold him “Don’t touch me!” he growled as his hands tried to remove mine from his body “You’re bleeding!” I insisted holding his hands with mine “I don’t need your pity…” he growled again, I turned to see him, our eyes were fixed for a few seconds, I could see that he felt pain and I weighed all that we had previously experienced and I felt the need to attend to him “Let me help you…” I spoke softly “Please…” he nodded slightly and I took it for a yes, despite his pride wasn´t allowing him to say it, he wanted my help.
No it can’t be, I’ll just ignore
But then she’s never looked at me that way before
That night he slept in my bed. When I woke up the next morning, I assumed that it was likely that he was no longer in the cabin. I was so surprised to see him still asleep that a small smile spread across my face. He was a completely different person, calm. The little light that filtered in through the window finely illuminated the features of his face and my heart jumped slightly with a strangely warm, not out of fear or insecurity, so I left that room a bit confused by what I just felt.
The days went by, and he… He stayed with me in the cabin. Little by little, we began to exchange more words, although not many, he was a man who spoke little. He began to help me with the little chores of the house, although he was quite clumsy at first, he improved as the days went by. He even offered to help me with the little herb garden that I had started to build in the garden.
Slowly his laughter began to flood our meals, and his stories about his travels across the Galaxy catch me at night. I learned about things that I didn´t know existed thanks to him and my heart kept jumping every hour that I enjoyed his company.
On one occasion I asked him if he wouldn´t go away again, the only thing he answered was that there was no place out there where he belonged. At that moment I understood that the Beast that had appeared a year ago in the room of my old home no longer existed and it was in that moment that I decided that that place where we were, in the middle of nowhere and far from everything, was now the home of both, however, I still felt my doubts, what if the bond that we were beginning to have was just a product of my imagination.
New and a bit alarming
Who’d have ever thought that this could be?
One morning, after waking up next to him, I wanted to put a plan to the test: the night before I had prepared a basket with some food, my idea was to ask him to accompany me to the forest to find some berries to plant in the garden. That morning I fixed myself with one of the dresses that he had brought me during one of his first visits and that I had never worn. When he got up, I had everything ready.
"I’m going to need your help today…”, he just looked at me a little confused “Please get ready before we get late”. A few minutes later he left the room towards the kitchen where I was “Hold this” I gave him the basket, his face was full of confusion, he couldn´t understand what was happening, I walked to the door and turned to see him “What are you waiting? Let’s go!” and I smiled at him as I walked out the door.
We walked for a few minutes in the forest without saying anything until we reached the stream. Once on the shore, I spread the blanket, I approached him, took the basket, and sat on the ground, he just imitated my steps. I took out some of the bites that were in the basket and we began to eat, we never speak. When we finished, I looked back at him.
“I don’t know much about you…”, he just fixed his eyes on mine “And you don’t know much about me…” I started to take off my shoes “But we´re both… Living in this place…” the sound of the waterfall was like little sinfonie behind us “I didn’t get here of my own free will and I still don’t understand why…” I plunged my feet into the water “But I’ve grown to love this place…” I turned to look at him and a huge smile was painted on my lips “And I’ve started to take a strange affection for you, although I don’t know if I should…” and suddenly, everything changed.
The birds sang around us, the sound of the waterfall became louder, and his lips… His lips were on mine with an intensity that I had never felt. One of his hands was holding my neck, while the other was holding one of mine firmly. His caress was soft, however, somewhat desperate, but full of passion “Ben…” he whispered as a smile touched his lips and his hand caressed my cheek “My name is Ben”. At no time did his eyes leave mine and my heart burned completely “Well, Hello Ben” I went over to kiss him again “Welcome home”.
True that he’s not Prince Charming
But there’s something in him that I simply didn’t see
All this weekend I´ll be prepared to answer all your questions about Armitage HuxandKylo Ren of any kind, whether it be flufforsmut, so shot your darkest and most perverted doubts or your sweetest and most tender concerns about these two gentlemen.
All this weekend I´ll be prepared to answer all your questions about Armitage HuxandKylo Ren of any kind, whether it be flufforsmut, so shot your darkest and most perverted doubts or your sweetest and most tender concerns about these two gentlemen.
Switching to the Light wasn´t an easy thing for Ben, he still goes through very bad times when the Darkness tries to call him, but he tries to hide his frustration as best he can since he knows, and feels, that he´s the only pillar that you have to stay in the Light too.
Leaving the darkness for you was a bit more complicated, since your whole life was full of situations that fueled the anger you felt, and going so dramatically into the Light, when you had never been there before, meant completely forgetting and leaving behind the person you were.
There are times when one of the two wakes up in the middle of the night, sweating or crying due to some nightmare, and the other will always cling to the other’s body, even after leaving the Darkness, both continue to maintain your bond through the Force, so you´re able to feel what the other feels. Both are a kind of lifeline for each other.
At first, it was very difficult for you to move around the resistance base, since you could feel the inquisitive looks and some of the suspicious thoughts of the people around you and judged you.
There are times when both cannot sleep and leave your tent to walk calmly and chat alone in the surroundings of the base.
During the whole time you were together in the First Order, you got used to leading your life as a couple in an extremely private way and it´s something that even being in the Light you continue to maintain, all your activities together, such as eating, training and your free time it still, as much as possible, at the privacy of your tent.
Regarding the displays of affection, at first you were both embarrassed that someone saw you sharing a caress, but little by little, Ben began to be affectionate with you in public, holding your hand when you walked together, hugging you from time to time and occasionally kissing you on the forehead.
Sometimes when you try to call him, you do it by the name of Kylo; You automatically blush and apologize immediately, but secretly, and privately, you both like to hear your old names (in fact, even now in the Light, you both call each other by their Sith names while having sex and love it).
You aren´t very sociable, however, Ben has managed to develop a good relationship with Poe, knocked down by their mutual interest for ships and engineering, while you have started a good friendship with Chewbacca. Both try to avoid Rey, although sometimes Ben helps her train and that makes you feel very jealous, and Finn avoids you completely.
A new galactic war was forming, and your star system needed to create an alliance. Your father, the king, made a deal with the First Order in a promise of protection for guaranteed trade. You are arranged to marry the Commander Kylo Ren, apprentice of the Supreme Leader. A man who is hidden behind his mask. Will your husband show you his heart? Or will it be forever hidden behind a mask?
*Note: The author of this work does not condone arranged marriage practices, domestic abuse, or non-con sexual encounters, this work is for fictional uses only.*
You dressed in your nightclothes and slipped underneath the freshly changed covers. You regretted asking the droid to change them as these smelled new and sterile and nothing like him. Eventually you drifted in and out of consciousness. Late into the night or early morning, you swore you could hear the sounds of the outer door opening and shutting. And then the door next to your room opening and closing. He must be back. And choosing his own room rather than yours to clean up and rest in.
Your suspicions were confirmed when you heard the sound of water running through the pipes. He had his own refresher, which made sense as you knew he didn’t use yours to shower in. You briefly wondered if he washed his hair, if he even had any. Your mind drifted to what hair you had seen on his body. If he had hair on his head, it would be as dark as the hair that led to his cock. At the rush of that thought, you involuntarily squeezed your thighs together, feeling heat pool there briefly. You weren’t asleep again for more than 30 minutes before you heard your door open; you had hoped it was him joining you to sleep. But he had other plans.
You felt the bed dip behind you slightly as you felt a hand trace up your outer thigh before moving to grip the inner tender flesh. You felt his other hand lightly shove your shoulder into the bed; face down into your pillow. No words were exchanged. Your nightgown was shoved up to your waist revealing that your bareness, unlike previous encounters where you didn’t wear any for his savagery of ripping it off, you had worn none this time in hopes of a more consensual encounter, but it would not happen.
But what you felt shocked you, your hips were brought up higher, more convenient angle, his fingers traced down your folds as if he was touching a delicate piece of ancient knowledge. His calloused thumb massaged your delicate clit. You bit into the pillow to muffle your moans of pleasure. You didn’t want to scare him off. But he continued to slowly massage you for a few minutes as his fingers danced over your folds. You felt his bare thigh brush up against yours. You did not remember hearing him take off any clothes, he must have come in naked.
You felt him ready you as both hands gripped into the meat of your ass, his thumbs dipping into you, spreading your cunt wide for him. His thrusts were different this time, desperate in a different way as if touching you was almost enough to get him there, that he was desperate for any form of friction or tightness from you. His hands had moved to the top of your hips to steady his unsteady self. You could hear the urgency in his breaths through his mask. You neared your edge as his hand came to steady his cock inside you. His fingers fumbling against your folds as you wrapped around him.
You moaned as brightness hit the back of your eyelids, your convulsions were just enough to send him into his own orgasm. One that almost made him collapse on top of you, but he steadied himself before that could happen. You felt his helmet rest against your back as his hands landed on either side of the bed. As he lifted himself up from you, you felt the bed dip even more with his weight. His hands steadied themselves once more on the top of your hips as he reluctantly pulled out of you as if he was relishing in your warmth. He used your hips to help him stand, something he has never done. Almost as if he had just given you everything. As he stood, you heard him slightly stumble back and brace himself against the wall. His arm making a dull thud sound against the metal wall.
He stood there for a moment as you let your hips return down to the bed. Once they made contact, you stretched your legs and spread them out even wider, hoping that he was looking and that he enjoyed the slight show. While your face was still buried in the pillow, you reached down under you to your own folds, feeling the wetness you both had left behind. Your fingers mixing the two milky substances, relishing in the tenderness you felt there. You heard him take a step forward, but as you took your hand away hoping it would be replaced by something, anything of his; you heard the door open. As you turned to look at it, you saw the glimpse of his bare shoulder as he left.
You were alone.
It took a while for you to fight back into sleep as your emotions seemed to run through the entire course of the Kessel Run. You squeezed your thighs together, relishing in the tenderness you felt between them, and hugged your pillow as sleep finally overcame you.
You were reluctant to wake to your alarm, feeling groggy and sore. But you ushered on into the refresher taking a shower, you cringed as you washed away the dried cum between your legs and in your folds. Pondering over the bruises he left on your hips. You didn’t remember him gripping you that hard during the whole thing, so you assumed they were from his attempts at balancing himself. Squeezing your thighs together, hoping to feel a ghost of his cock. Your body almost seemed to ache for his ability to fill you and stretch you. And anything else was just you missing a piece of yourself.
You finished your shower and finished getting ready. As you stepped out into the living room, you heard the main door shut, which means that your husband had just left. It stung just a bit knowing that if you had left your room just two seconds earlier, you would have been able to see him if only for a moment. You set aside that thought and made yourself breakfast, you ate, and as you put your bowl away you thought for a moment, and sent a photo to your husband even though he was apparently on board ship.
Commander Ren,
As per the attached photo, I have eaten. Good morning, there is dessert in the fridge from last night if you have a moment to enjoy it.
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
A rather quick response came to you, as if it only took just moments for him to respond.
Dear Princess Ren,
I fail to believe that you have put your cunt in the fridge.
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
You dropped your datapad in shock at the message. Frozen for several minutes as your brain tried to process his message. You eventually picked it back up off the floor, the feeling of blood rushing to your face and vulnerability as you bent down. Slowly staggering to the kitchen and snapped a photo to send back to him.
Commander Ren,
No! I made dessert last night, thinking you were going to be back earlier than you were, I miscalculated how late you were actually going to be.
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
Moments later, his response came.
Dear Princess Ren,
That is… unsatisfying.
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
It shocked you. Did he really want a nude photo of you? Sent to him now? When he could just come to you from where ever he was on the ship and fuck you again? If he was away on a mission, you could understand. You could even hope that it would be his eyes only on the photo, but on this ship wherever he was you couldn’t guarantee that.
Commander Ren,
Did you expect me to undress and take a photo of myself in the fridge?!
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
You wandered over to the couch to sit down, to be able to steady yourself for this conversation. He seemed to be like you right on the datapad, as another message seemed to instantly reply to you.
Dear Princess Ren,
The fridge detail is rather unneeded, but the photo would be rather satisfactory.
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
You could feel warmth pool between your legs as you excitedly responded.
Commander Ren,
I was informed that you have surveillance access to our quarters. What need does a photo satisfy compared to that?
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
This was it, you were flirting with your husband. It seemed like the datapad was just the buffer and shield you needed in order to be able to do so, both of you.
Dear Princess Ren,
I do. Your point?
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
So he really needed you to spell it all out for him. You took a breath of bravery and stood and shot off a reply.
Commander Ren,
Where are the cameras placed? You better be alone.
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
You waited with baited breaths for his response.
Dear Princess Ren,
Near the window facing towards the front door. Another in the kitchen facing towards your bedroom door and lastly in the corner of your bedroom facing your door out into the living room.
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
Bravely you headed towards the window and hit the button to shut the shutters, closing off the outside world to what was about to happen. Finding the small round device that appeared to be the camera. You sent off one quick message before setting the datapad on a side table.
Commander Ren,
As I said, you better be alone. Get ready for a show.
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
Once you sent off the message, you took a few paces back from the camera. You turned slowly in a circle, stretching your neck as you did so, showing him the skin that was already exposed there. You paused as you faced the camera, fingertips slowly drifting up to the sides of your face and then down along your neck and collarbone. Slowly teasing him with the skin that was already bare. Fingertips brushing up and down against the top of your breasts, against the small amount of cleavage you allowed the world to already see.
You slowly turned, keeping your back to the camera now, letting your fingertips caress your skin as you stretched your neck, and caressed yourself as if you were your own lover. Hands skimming over your sides and waist, rolling your neck sensually. You paused for a moment, before hooking a finger under the shoulder of your dress and letting it fall down your arm, and then to the other side. You were unsure how far the other camera could see, so you covered your breasts, not wanting to show too much too soon. Being a tease.
You stepped out of your dress entirely. Slowly turning towards the camera, keeping yourself ‘modest’ with your own hands. You played shy while batting your eyelashes towards it, and then you rolled your neck, exposing more of yourself to him, but not everything. This was so liberating for you, as your arm and hand kept you covered. You crossed your legs and brought the hand that was covering your crotch up to caress the bare skin of your stomach. You also squeezed your own breast, relishing in the sensation of letting out a small moan.
You did not know if that surveillance included sound, but at this point, you didn’t care. You gained the courage to drop your arm, but then quickly took your breasts in your hands, squeezing and leaning forward, eventually splaying your fingers. Swirling your nipples, giving him a show and yourself pleasure. Your hands had minds of their own, one still playing with your breast, the other trailing its way down your stomach and to your crotch. Just as your fingers were gracing your folds, your datapad pinged with a message.
You sauntered over to it, pushing your ass out as you leaned over to read it. Spreading your legs a bit, hopefully giving him a full view.
Dear Princess Ren,
Your bed would give us both a better vantage point for that.
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
You read it out loud, giggled, and turned. Looking at the camera over your shoulder playfully. You picked up the datapad and sauntered your way to your bedroom. When the door to your bedroom opened, you looked at it squarely before tossing the datapad onto the bed. You promenaded for a moment giving a show before flopping down onto the bed. You ran your hands through your hair before grabbing your pillows and propping up your back.
Now fully facing the camera, baring it all to him. You trailed your hands over yourself. You spread your legs wide, allowing your hands to find different ways to pleasure yourself. Your hands taking turns with your breasts, your lips, and your folds, even thrusting fingers in and out of yourself. Filling your room full of your own moans. You did not know how long you were lost within yourself, but you panicked as you heard the outer door of your quarters open and shut, but then your brain registered the familiar fall of a particular person’s boot steps.
Your bedroom door opened, relieving your husband in his black-clad glory. You spoke first as he almost hesitated in the doorway. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” it came out as much more of a whine than should have been appropriate between you two given your history.
But oddly enough, he complied as he started taking off his belt, toeing off his boots, and removing his shirt. You shimmied up the bed, throwing the pillows back into place and flopping down into your usual spot. By the time your eyes had focused on him again, he was nude in front of you, well except for his helmet. He climbed up between your legs; you were both eager and ready. An arm behind your back and the other hooked over your shoulder as he thrust in. The quick and tempered pace was what he set out for you both.
This angle allowed you to kiss and run your tongue over the mouthpiece. Your brain was already so fried that you could not fathom why that wouldn’t be a good idea. But oddly enough your husband didn’t seem to mind, or maybe he was more focused on what his genitals were doing that you kissing him didn’t matter. After all, you could only speculate how flustered your show left him. It was a possibility that his brain was just as flustered. But he turned his head to yours as if HE was kissing you.
You rang in your orgasm loudly, probably the loudest you had ever been. Kylo kept going as he had yet to reach his own climax, but you could feel he was just on the cusp. But he briefly switched angles, hitting your sweet spot again and again and again, almost as if he was determined to get you off again before he came. And it worked, or rather you literally came together as a final crescendo to the complete show. As you came down, you gripped his helmet in your hands and kissed him as if your life depended on it. Forcing yourself on top of him. Taking control of the finale.
And for once he didn’t cut it short as his hands wrapped loosely around your back. He let you kiss him. Your kisses trailed all over his face. As you kissed his crown, you could feel your nipples graze against the textured metal. By the end, you were sitting on his stomach as you sat up. Essentially ‘trapping’ him beneath you.
You felt a giggle bubble up, “Was that a good dessert?” A mischievous smile gracing your lips. A sparkle within your eye.
You could hear him sigh deeply before responding, “It was… acceptable.”
You cocked your brow and tilted your head, “Just acceptable, I thought that it all was rather impressive myself. Much better than the photo you requested.”
You heard a sharp sound, which could have translated into a snort, “Much better than a photo, I agree.”
You moved to hover over his face, “So more than acceptable?”
His hands gripped your hips as he pulled you off of him. “More than acceptable,” he reluctantly agreed.
You had a pout on your face as you realized he was leaving. “So what were you doing, might I ask?”
As he pulled up his pants, “Test piloting my TIE Fighter, I had some adjustments made, and they needed testing.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling on his boots. You joined him in your naked glory.
“Did I distract you? I have been called a distraction for you.” You didn’t really want to bring up Hux in your afterglow, but you wanted to tease your husband.
He turned and looked at you, his covered eyes seeming to bore into you. “It would take much more than that to be a distraction.” He then stood up and donned his shirt.
You crossed your arms over your chest, knowingly pushing up your breasts. “That sounds like a challenge.” Your mind started twisting and turning, thinking about how you would be able to get under his skin in that way.
He bent down to look at you again while putting on his gloves. “I would like to see you try.” You could tell that this would be fun for both of you. He then turned and headed out of your bedroom.
You followed unabashed in your nudeness in your own home. You grabbed his arm, and he froze; he was headed out the door to return to whatever else he had yet to do today. You stood on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek, “Good morning.” And then let go to walk over to your dress, which was still in the corner of the living room. As you pulled it on, you could see him paused in front of the door to the ship’s hallway. His head turned slightly as if to keep you in the corner of his eye, checking to see if you were clothed. Once your dress was properly situated on your body, he left.
You were very proud of yourself at that moment; you had managed to get him to drop whatever he was doing to come running to you, for you. It felt empowering knowing you could do that to him. Even if he would never admit it. You half wondered if he would travel across the galaxy for you if you had put on that much of a show while he was away.
You hoped that the bubble wouldn’t burst anytime soon, that he would continue with this round of good moods. But you knew it wouldn’t last forever, as much as you wanted it to, reality would come crashing down around you.
Briefly, you wondered if you would eventually fall in love with this man; it felt as if you were reaching the summit and that you would be there soon. You just hoped that he wasn’t below sea level. He might never say the words, but you hoped he would at least harbor the feelings.
A/N: There will be approximately once a month updates or more, February was just short. But I kept my promise.
Warnings: smut, fem!reader insert (anatomy and petnames), d/s, power imbalance, overstimulation, forced orgasms, choking, fingering, brief fisting, light spanking, mean!kylo, references to PIV sex, poor proof-reading
His shoes were shiny from this angle. The material appeared glossy and new, you wondered how old they were? The floor was glossy new, likely cleaned this morning while you were out, in line with the First Order’s stringent cleanliness standards. You probably wouldn’t have paid so much attention to something stupid like the ground were you not in your current position, dangling over the lap of the supreme leader of the first order. There was a large arm wrapped around your waist keeping you tight against his torso in case you felt like making any fruitless attempts to run.
Okay I’m getting into writing again… Please send requests, I am open to anything. I mostly write for Loki but I am interested in many fandoms and characters so feel free to request any of them please ✨
(Reunited with long lost lover Ben solo but he’s not the same anymore) song inspired one shot, came to me pretty randomly
TW Sad, depressive, no love just sad feels
××××
“Well you look like yourself
But you’re somebody else
Only it ain’t on the surface
Well you talk like yourself
No, I hear someone else though
Now you’re making me nervous”
She couldn’t help but stare into the black abyss of his eyes, his eyes that once shone beautiful honey hazel and spread warmth when he glanced at her, even for a second.
Eyes she’d stared into a thousand times, in sunny fields and under cotton sheets.
Gazing up at the man she once knew, more than she knew herself. His face was stone-like and his heart held no love, just empty hatred.
She loathed the way the darkness clings to him, drowning him the way his threatening glare drowned her.
“You were the better part
Of every bit of beating heart that I had
Whatever I had
I finally sat alone
Pitch black flesh and bone
Couldn’t believe that you were gone”
“Ben solo”
The words felt ghostly on her lips and his eyes shone with a a darkened rage she’d never been victim to before, his knuckles white and clenched at his sides, the way his jaw tensed, staring through her soul with more menace than she could ever handle, coming from him.
“Don’t!”
Even his voice was hardly his anymore, he spoke like a rabid animal, eyes wild as he leered at the girl, daring her to do something, anything to ignite the temper lurking under his skin, so he could ignite the crackling red sabre that burned at his side, itching to be reached for.
The tears fell from her freely and the ache residing in her chest was almost consuming, swallowing her soul where she stood.
Mind reeling with a thousand different things, yet her eyes couldn’t leave his, not for a second.
His face was almost the same, but the scar that marked his heavenly alabaster skin was just another reminder of the harrowing man he’d now become.
She felt the way her body fell, but her mind couldn’t, wouldn’t, register the pain of her knees that thudded against the hard floor.
“You were dead… not… not this… this isn’t you… I…-”
Words couldn’t ever comprehend the betrayal, the agony behind her heart as she stared at her once lover… her only lover.
“Ben Solo is dead.”
Venomously he spat at her, glaring her down as she sank even lower to the ground.
Despite the sniffle in her voice, the tears that ran down her face she muttered harshly
Neither of them sure where they stood with one another.
Neither of them sure of what unspoken boundaries were in place.
She felt unusual, as if she hadn’t fulfilled the marriage.
She thought it would be expected of her and Kylo to complete the marriage… The intamacey she thought he would have wanted from her, but weather he did or not he didn’t show it.
He didn’t reach for her, he didn’t tell her what to do, nor did he expect anything from her… But she didn’t know that.
She struggled to sleep beside him during the night, she was an odd sleeper, moved a lot in a sleepy state and she was afraid of getting too close, afraid if she accidentally annoyed him… Well she wasn’t sure what he’d do.
She heard the stories, she knew ruthless he could be… she hadn’t seen that yet and dreaded when she did.
She sat on the balcony of their shared quarters, overlooking the many trees that swallowed the planet.
Hiding the base neatly within the depths of greenery.
She wore her lace nightgown, her messy curls pushed out of her face as she leaned against the railing.
“The droids will bring you breakfast, you’re free to wonder the base but we careful and ask for a guide. I’ll be in the command room if you need me”
She glanced up to him with a nod “Thank you”
He simply nodded, turning on his heel, mask in hand as he left the room as the day began to attend his duties.
She wondered if it would be like this a lot.
Him busy, her alone, accompanied by droids?
She wasn’t sure, but she supposed it wasn’t as bad as she expected.
She entered the room again as a silver and black droid entered the room with a smile. “Breakfast, Empress Ren”
The term she hadn’t heard herself being referred to before but accepted it with a nod.
Sitting at the large empty dining table.
She was presented with a large variety of options and was glad, at least she was being treated well.
Sipping the warm fruit tea as she sat, relaxing as she ate.
She pressed the button for the droid to return, finding herself with questions.
“So where are we?”
She questioned, glancing out of the large window.
“A secluded Base, Ma'am”
Nodding gently she contuined with her questions.
“What am I allowed to do?"
The droid almost laughed, finding the girls uncertainty quite amusing.
She wasn’t aware of her high status yet.
"Anything you like Ma,am. You are the empress after all”
She nodded, unsure how she felt about the term.
“What’s there to do around here?”
She noticed the lack of leisure type facilities as she entered.
“We have a large library on offer but this is a majority military base, there’s a gym I suppose or swimming if you’d like, there’s not much to do outside as winter is coming to and end the weather still isn’t that good…”
“Empress”
The term was unusual, but she nodded gently regardless.
She found herself in the gym, Captain Phasma being the one to show her around.
“I’m not sure how Master Ren will feel about you here”
She muttered, glancing around the room of watching men.
They immediately averted their gaze as they noticed Phasmas warning glare.
“Why’s that?”
“You’re his wife… And prying eyes annoy Master Ren quite a bit”
She hadn’t seen him annoyed, but shook it off anyway.
“I’d just like to do something with my day is all… Yoga? Dance? Something that won’t hurt but is fun”
Phasma nodded.
“As you wish, M'lady”
Yoga was calming, Phasma had found an open spacious room to begin in.
A few other women joined, nurses, kitchen assistants of such, all quite nervous around the girl. Confused by her kindness.
The gym was huge, the downstairs filled with a large dance floor, behind which treadmills and rowing machines.
Small rooms off to the sides for private training sectors and classes.
The upstairs was open planned, filled with heavy duty equipment and had a balcony overlooking the bottom floor.
The girl wore a pair of lycra style black shorts, a grey sports bra and a black open sleeve tank top over it.
Hair pulled back into a messy bun as she contuined to stretch and pose with everyone else.
Yoga lasted an hour, standard.
Though as they exited the class her eyes drew to the Stormtroopers training.
“What are they doing?”
She questioned, Phamsa glanced to her before sighing.
“Combat drills…”
The girl watched their bodies move fluently with a smile.
“It vaguely reminds me of Ballet back at home”
She mused, though caught sight of her reflection in the large mirror.
She looked unusual not in a dress but she didn’t care.
“Ballet?”
The girls eyes turned from the training troopers and to Phamsa with a tilt of her head. “You’ve never heard of it?”
“Well… No. We’re a military orientation.”
The girl sighed slightly.
“I’ve heard of ballet… Back on my home planet but I never managed to learn”
“Why don’t you show us?”
The empress turned to the lady behind her with a smile. Hoping to involve everyone she could.
If this was her home now, she wanted to feel at home.
Phamsa questioned and the girl nodded.
The troopers training were done anyway.
“Do we have any classical type music?”
When Kylo Ren entered the gym, it wasn’t what he expected to see.
His wife stood in the centre, twirling, other women following her actions.
She was leading a class of women in some style of dance.
Phamsa stood at the door with a smile before approaching Kylo Ren.
“She’s a natural leader. She makes a good Empress, my lord”
I don’t post anything because I don’t assume anyone’s interested but I have a lot written and will just kinda lazily add to it, any of you who do stumble across it, I hope you enjoy :)
That son of a bitch. I had done everything I could and fought as hard as I could but I still ended up here. I know Leia was worried. I could see the look on her face as he ordered the stormtroopers to drag me onto his ship. I had to get out of this. I had to get back to her. She was the only person I had left that gave a shit about me. She had lost everything and so had I. I couldn’t leave her alone.
I struggled against the bonds keeping my hands restrained behind my back. I growled in frustration as I slumped against the side of the large bed behind me. The stormtroopers dragged me onto this ship kicking and screaming until they got me to this room. They bound my hands then threw me inside this room locking the door behind me.
I don’t know how long I was locked in there struggling to get free when finally the door slid open. Anger flooded me instantly as I took in the cloak and mask of Kylo Ren. I jumped to my feet ready for a fight but to my surprise, he took his mask off sitting it to the side.
“Sit,” he said with a flick of his wrist.
My body went backward landing on the edge of the large bed behind me. I huffed as I righted myself.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I asked harshly as I glared at him.
He smirked at me as he unclipped his cloak. He took his time to stare at me as he folded it neatly laying it to the side. I couldn’t stop the chill that went down my spine from his gaze. It wasn’t a chill of fear or anything negative. He stalked closer to me slowly eyeing me like I was his prey. He stopped right in front of me then grabbed my chin in his strong gloved grip.
“What do you want?” I asked trying to pull away.
His grip tightened keeping me in place. His thumb lightly traced my bottom lip. I had to force back the urge to bite him knowing it was a lot easier for him to hurt me than for me to hurt him.
“You don’t feel it do you?” He asked softly as he stared at my lips.
“Feel what?” I asked furrowing my brows.
He pulled me to my feet by his grip on my chin. When I was standing he was so close our noses were touching.
“The hum. The power. The energy. The pull.” He said slowly like it was the most important thing he’d ever said.
I looked at him in confusion. I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. Shock came over his face.
“You really don’t know?” He asked.
“I have no idea what the hell you’re going on about,” I said harshly.
“Let me show you.” He said softly.
Before I could do anything his lips crashed into mine. I was frozen with shock for only a moment before I felt it. The humming of powerful energy pulling me closer to him. I found myself kissing him back as it quickly pumped through my veins bringing every nerve to attention. I felt him reach behind me and undo my bonds. Without even thinking I grabbed his black shirt pulling him closer. His arms wrapped around me tightly then lifted me. Out of some unknown instinct, I wrapped my legs around his waist then my arms around his neck. He stepped forward then gently laid me on the bed breaking the kiss.
“What the hell is that?” I questioned breathlessly.
I could feel the hum instantly start to dissipate. My fingers itched to pull him back to me. It was like I suddenly needed to feel it. Like it was some kind of drug I was instantly addicted to.
“I don’t know.” He said softly as he leaned over me.
“You don’t know?” I asked harshly.
To my surprise, he laughed softly then leaned down and pressed his lips back to mine. The feeling was instant. It quickly flooded my veins making me melt beneath him. He moved his kiss to my jaw then down my neck. I couldn’t stop my body from arching into him. It was like the feeling came straight from his lips. Where ever they touched the humming was the strongest.
“Kylo” I whimpered as I tangled my fingers into his long raven hair.
I felt the energy lessen the moment he pulled away from me. Why did I hate that? Why did I not want him to stop? He pulled me up then quickly removed my shirt tossing it to the floor. His lips were on my neck again as he removed my bra. He pushed me back on the bed. His eyes raked over me as he slowly took off his gloves. He looked at his hands for a moment then gently placed them on my stomach. I moaned arching my back as the humming energy seemed to flow from his fingertips and into my skin. He leaned down capturing my lips with his as his large hands kneaded each of my breasts. I was moaning into his mouth pulling him closer to me as my body filled with that unknown energy. I wanted more. My body needed more.
I gasped for breath when Kylo broke away but I was quickly panting when he started a trail of soft kisses down my neck. I was already squirming under him as he kissed down my chest to my stomach. He stopped at the hem of my pants. He kept one hand against my skin keeping the humming fresh in my veins as the other hand undid the button and zipper. In one quick motion, my pants and panties were gone, falling to the floor with the rest of my clothing. He ripped his shirt off over his head then hovered back over me.
He kissed me just as his fingers brushed against my aching center. I had been so consumed by the humming energy that I hadn’t realized how turned on I had become until his finger slid between my folds feeling the wetness for himself. He groaned into my mouth then started rubbing slow soft circles on my clit. I was grabbing onto him however I could noticing for the first time that the same energy seemed to flow from my fingers into him. I broke the kiss as my head fell back in a groan. I needed more than just his fingers.
“Kylo” I whispered making his eyes snap to mine.
“Use your tongue,” I told him as my fingers traced down his lips.
He smirked then licked his lips the moment my fingers fell away.
“As you wish,” he said quietly.
He placed a quick peck to my lips then moved down my body until he was lying between my legs. His hands wrapped around my thighs as his face moved closer to me. My body trembled as it became completely overwhelmed. The raw power I felt flowing through my body from his touch, the anticipation of what he was about to do, the very small (and fading) thought that I shouldn’t let him do this, and then the moment his mouth harshly latched onto my sensitive nerve. I cried out as my body thrummed. It was almost too much to handle. I moaned tangling my hands in his hair as he tasted me. His tongue teasingly swiping around everything but my clit then suddenly sucking my nub harshly.
“Fuck Kylo” I moaned softly.
He groaned against me making me cry out again. My orgasm quickly approaching as he moved all his attention to my clit. I cried out as my high washed over me. The energy inside me pulsed harder like this is exactly what was supposed to happen. I whimpered as he got off the bed to remove his own pants. He climbed back on the bed then kneeled between my legs. I sat up enough to wrap my hands into his hair then pull him down to the bed. I felt his tip rubbing against me before shoving inside. I gasped, my back arching off the bed as he slowly filled me. My body went limp beneath him from the onslaught of sensations.
“Shit” I gasped tightening my hold on his hair.
Kylo groaned softly into my neck then started to move his hips. My eyes rolled back as my body trembled. It was like I could feel him inside me and I could feel myself wrapped around him. The slow pace didn’t last long. Kylo’s thrusts speeding up more and more as he to seemed to feel the same sensation. A connection like I’ve never felt before. Something I never imagined happening.
“Fuck” he breathed against my skin.
I wasn’t going to last long that was for sure. I could feel myself clenching around him already. The tightening in my gut making my toes curl. He grabbed my hands pulling them from his hair. He tangled his fingers with mine then held them on the bed next to my head. I was a moaning mess needing this new high I was chasing. He rested his forehead against mine then slammed his hips harshly into me. That was all it took.
“Kylo!” I shouted arching off the bed and into his chest.
He groaned loudly slamming into a few quick times before he stilled with a quiet groan of my name. I fell back against the bed panting as he slowly pulled out of me. He fell next to me quickly wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest.
“You really don’t know what this is?” I asked softly.
I could still feel the energy pulsing between us. His hold on me tightened.
“No, I truly have no idea. I imagine I could feel it when you couldn’t because of the force.” He said quietly.
I nodded. That still didn’t explain anything but honestly, I didn’t care. I already knew there was nothing I could do now. This feeling was far too powerful for me to just walk away from.
Hello everyone! Here is the compilation list for every single one of my reader insert writings that I’ve done here on babbushka.tumblr.com
Because there are so many of them, I’ve decided to give each character that I write for their own individual post. Each post is broken down into 3 categories: chaptered fics, oneshots, and then ask responses. Within those categories, they are sorted by genre, and are noted for any N*FW content so that you guys can better search for what it is you’d like to read!
I hope that this helps you discover some writing you maybe might not have read, or helps you find old work you’ve been looking for again. Thank you all so much for reading, and I’m sending everyone my love!
I whispered, placing my handwritten letter on Enoka’s Bed. I’d known that I wouldn’t be able to stay forever, but actually leaving now did hurt a lot nonetheless. Both Noka and the kids had grown close to me, grown to be my friends, but I had to leave since I’d cause them nothing but trouble from this point on. Getting up I felt a sudden pain in my shoulder that I still hadn’t gotten used to. ‘Ouch!’ I hissed into the silence of the hut before slamming my hand over my mouth to cover it. I couldn’t make too much noise, maybe they’d hear me… My shoulder still hurt a lot, but Noka had done an amazing job at cleaning and bandaging it.
After I’d fainted after gotten shot in the shoulder, she’d been able to hide us in a small, unsuspicious cave a few thousand miles away from Tuanul. She told me they’d heard the Trooper’s squadrons searching for them for hours until they’d finally given up and left. It was only a few hours after that I’d woken up and flown them to the nearest village. Fortunately, the generous villagers had been able to provide a place for them to stay and even celebrated their survival and arrival in a huge way, almost as if they’d actually defeated Ren themselves.
Ren. Kylo Ren himself and my old Captain Phasma. They’d seen me, they’d clearly seen me and what I’d done, they’d searched for us for hours, they probably knew more about my powers than I did. Phasma also probably recognized me. It had been so incredibly weird seeing her again after all this time. After everything that happened just before I left the Star Destroyer, I never thought I’d see anyone of them again, not even who I’d previously considered one of my closest friends. She must’ve recognized me, she had seen me without my armor several times, we’d spent a lot of time together back in the day. If she’d told Ren who I was, would they be searching for me? Would they come back just to kill a traitor? Probably not, they wouldn’t think I’d be stupid enough to stay on the planet after that incident with the laser. Everything had happened 2 days ago, but it still felt as if it had just happened.
My hand jolting forward, my head turned away, expecting to hear Lily’s screams of agony. But there had been nothing but silence.
I had stopped the beam. How had I managed to do that? I looked at my hands in confusion again, but nothing was different, they were the same as before. Faint cheering made me snap back into reality: I had to leave. The villagers and the others were outside, celebrating, and I would use the distraction to leave without making a scene. I wasn’t any good at emotional goodbyes, so I preferred the easy way: letters. I’d just written a few lines about how I’d miss them and how I wished them the best for the future. It was the truth, but I was glad I didn’t have to say it out loud because saying goodbye to the only friends I’d made in a long time would probably make me cry.
I grabbed my bag, swung it over my shoulder and was just about to leave through the curtain, as someone bumped into me. Little 6-year-old Lily stood before me, brushing her hair out of her eyes. 'Hey Z, why aren’t you celebrating with us? You saved our lives!’ Shit. Time to make up an excuse. 'Oh, I’m just not feeling well, you know, my shoulder and stuff -’ Her eyes scanned my body, my clothes and the bag on my side.
'You’re leaving, aren’t you?’ What? No, no, no, she’s not supposed to know yet. 'No, how… why would -’ 'I knew you’d leave soon… You don’t have to lie to me, I won’t tell anyone until you’re gone…’ She looked at me through her ginger fringe and I could see her eyes glisten in the darkness. 'Listen, I don’t want to endanger you even more, they’ll be looking for me and I don’t want them to find you, Oz and your mother. I’ll leave and you guys will be safe.’ She looked down at her feet and dragged them over the dirty floor in lazy little circles. 'Do you understand? I’m doing this for you guys.’ 'I understand…’ she mumbled. 'I’ll miss you, Z.’ she said a bit louder than before, looking up at me again while some lonely tears were running down her cheek. I crouched down and pulled her into a hug. 'Oh, I’ll miss you too, so much.’ My eyes were tearing up, but I didn’t want her to see me cry as well, so I kept hugging her. 'Will you ever come back?’ I hesitated but decided to tell her the truth. 'I don’t know, I honestly don’t. Maybe one day, but I don’t want you to keep your hopes up. You guys will get through this without me, alright?’ Lily pulled back and looked back outside through the curtain, up into the night sky. I knew what she meant. 'They won’t come back, I promise. And if they do, I’ll come and save you.’ What was I saying? This wasn’t a promise I could keep, there was no way I could ever be sure. If the ships were to come back and attack this planet again, there would not even be a way of me knowing about it. 'Promise?’ But I knew I had to say it anyway. 'I promise. Now go back celebrate!’ 'But-’ 'No 'But’, come on, Lily!’ I hugged her again, took her hand and lead her outside. A few hundred meters away I could see the people dancing next to a giant campfire. 'I have to leave now. Please don’t be mad at me, okay?’ Lily looked at me with tears in her eyes and made my eyes water again too. 'I won’t. I hope you’ll be alright, Z. I’ll miss you a lot.’ 'I’ll miss you too, sweetheart. Now go, before they start to worry about you.’ She turned around and slowly made her way back to the campfire. I looked after her lost in thought, just to see her turning around once more, waving at me with a sad smile on her face. I waved back and finally turned around, walking to my ship.
Aurora had been mildly damaged in the shooting in Tuanul, but it had just taken me a few hours to fix her again. Getting back into her, I immediately got the feeling of coming home. This ship had been my home for years and I had to admit I missed being so independent while staying at one place for so long. I closed the door behind me and let my fingers run over the consoles before pushing several buttons to start the engine. Hopefully, no one would hear this over the sound of their loud music, but even if they did it would be too late - I’d already be gone. I sat down and flipped the final switch before grabbing the steering wheel, and we were off. I was soaring through the sky, higher and higher into the atmosphere to finally be surrounded by the faint light of stars and the dark blue freedom that was space. This was going to be fun.
'Commander, they managed to escape in an old TIE-Fighter, but one of my troopers shot the green-haired girl before they did so.’ 'Is she dead?’ 'We can’t know for sure, Ren.’ Troopers were swarming around them, killing the remaining villagers and taking everything with them, that seemed to have any value. 'Where would they have gotten a TIE that belonged to the First Order, Captain?’ Ren asked, his voice deeper than usual. 'I suspect you did not recognize her. I did. Her name is Zara Tanoor, FN-3458, she used to be one of my soldiers a few years ago.’ Phasma said, her voice full of certainty. 'She is a traitor?’ 'She left under mysterious circumstances, most of us, including me, thought she was dead.’ Phasma’s voice trembled a bit, just enough so Ren noticed it.
He stood there, in the middle of the moving crowd, only several meters from where he had killed Tekka, several meters away from where the traitor-girl had used the force so expertly just a few minutes ago to save the child. 'Impressive…’ he mumbled, turning back around, leaving the Planet Jakku behind them.
I mumbled to myself as I hid behind a smaller dune right next to their ships where nobody would be able to see me, but it was true, there were way too many. They outnumbered the small number of inhabitants this tiny village had. Stormtroopers were still running out of their squadrons, there had to be at least 100 of them, shooting at everything and everyone. I could hear the mechanically distorted radio commands, but I couldn’t understand anything. What was I supposed to do? How could I save Enoka before they got to her and the children?
Red lasers lit up the blue night sky, sparks ignited their little huts, houses and tents, crates and other things started to explode and Troopers with flamethrowers were setting everything else on fire to encourage the residents to leave the burning remains of their homes. I panicked and looked for Enoka and the kids, but I couldn’t find her, I couldn’t find anything but white shiny armour and red lasers in the darkness, nothing but pain and death. But there was something else.
There was a man in the middle of all of this. He seemed old, short white hair covered the top of his head and face and his dark brown, long coat fluttered behind him while he walked through this mess. The scenario seemed so surreal, he just aimlessly wandered through them and for a short amount of time it almost seemed like they didn’t even see him. I was distracted when suddenly blue lasers began shooting back at them from the darkness and some stormtroopers started to fall.
Someone was attacking them back! There was hope for me, this was a good distraction to be able to run over to Enoka’s hut and save them, nobody would see me. I grabbed the gun from my left leg and reloaded. When I was just about to run, I heard something else. Something loud from above. A wind got up and from the grey fog that surrounded the village and the sky emerged a huge black impressive ship. ‘Holy fucking shit.# I mumbled. This was a black Upsilon-class command shuttle, I remembered these things too from back in the day. The wind got up even more when the shuttle began folding its wings upward to achieve the form of a huge TIE-fighter and landed with a loud crash.
The ramp started opening and I took the chance to run and hide right underneath of the half-see-through metal right before four stormtroopers lined the sides of it to guard whoever was going get off of this ship. There were some more loud hissing sounds and then suddenly I could feel that someone was walking right above me, making their way down the ramp. I couldn’t see much more than a black cloak, but when I looked past them I could see that the remaining villagers were being captured and placed next to each other right next to their squadrons to my left, but I still couldn’t see Enoka anywhere. Had she been able to hide from them? The black figure marched down and walked towards the old man that had now been captured by two troopers. They roughly brought him towards the black figure, forcing him to stand right in front of him when he stopped. Should I do something? Should I intervene? How? I couldn’t possibly win against this mass of enemies, it would be suicide to try and help the man, who was after all still a stranger to me.
The troopers that were holding the man let go of him and stepped back, leaving the man facing the black figure alone. ‘Look how old you’ve become.’ The black figure’s voice was deep and metallic, he was probably wearing a helmet that was distorting his voice. ‘Something far worse has happened to you.’ The old man didn’t seem scared, his voice was strong and low. ‘You know what I’ve come for.’ What was this all about? I let my eyes wander over the crowd, the village and the surrounding dunes again. Where was Enoka? ‘I know where you come from. Before you called yourself ‘Kylo Ren’.’ Kylo Ren?! My eyes snapped back to the cloaked man. Not only had I seen this man before, he wasn’t just any regular captain or anything. Kylo Ren was the commander of the First Order! I remembered him from a speech that he had held a long time ago before we invaded some planet, I couldn’t fully remember. Where he came from before he called himself Kylo Ren, what was this guy talking about?
‘The map to Skywalker. We know you’ve found it.’ Ren started circling the old man and now I recognised his signature silver and black mask, the dark uniform and coat. ‘And now you’re going to give it to the First Order.’ The old man still didn’t seem intimidated. ‘The First Order rose from the Dark Side. You did not.’ WHAT? I was even more confused than before, this didn’t make sense at all! Ren served Supreme Leader Snoke as we all did. He, General Hux and my old Captain, Captain Phasma were the general leaders of the First Order, and as far as I’d known, Ren had always been on this side. ‘I’ll show you the Dark Side.’ Ren circling the old man and now stood right in front of him. ‘You may try. But you cannot deny the truth that is your family.’ Ren hesitated and leaned in a bit closer, still talking loud enough so that everyone could hear him. ‘You’re so right.’ From one moment to the other he had drawn and ignited his huge red crossguard-lightsaber, dramatically held it up high above his head and then quickly swung it down to decapitate the man.
I was in shock as I saw the blood of the supposedly innocent man splatter on the yellow sand, but it didn’t last long when suddenly another blue laser emerged from the darkness behind Ren and the troopers aimed directly at Ren himself, but he turned around and stopped the beam in mid-air and the Stormtroopers caught the guy that had tried to shoot him. The force. I’d never seen someone use it myself, I’d only heard or read about it. As I gazed in amazement I, all of a sudden, felt someone else walk down the ramp I was hidden under. I instinctively ducked down to hide from whoever was exiting the ship, but I was once again struck with flashbacks as I recognised the shiny silver armour and the long legs. Captain Phasma walked down the ramp and approached Ren. I hadn’t seen her in so long, there used to be times in which we knew each other, we fought together and I had almost made it to the same level that she was. Some would’ve even considered us to be some sort of 'friends’ since I’d been one of the few people that had seen her without her mask on. She probably thought of me as a traitor too if she even remembered me nowadays.
I shook my head in embarrassment and turned it to the left, where I saw Oswald sticking his head out from behind a smaller dune that was located just behind the captured villagers. I immediately snuck out behind the troopers’ backs and ran towards it. A look over my shoulder showed me, that the young gunman had been brought up to Ren, kicked to his knees and Ren had crouched down and was saying something to him. He was probably going to kill this guy too. I continued running and looked back once more just before I arrived at the dune. The guy had been dragged to his feet again and Ren was towering over him.
‘Sir, the villagers.’ Phasma came up right behind Ren. ’Kill them all.’ I reached the dune and ducked behind it, immediately seeing Oswald, but I couldn’t see Enoka or Lily anywhere. ‘On my command: 5…’ ‘Zara, oh my god you’re alive!’ Oswald ran towards me to hug me and I turned my head back towards the crowd. ‘Oz, where are your mom and your sister?’ ‘4..3..’ My eyes scanned the crowd again and all of a sudden I recognised Lily’s red hair and saw Enoka standing behind her. ‘The-they’re there!’ ‘Listen. I’m going to go get them, you run back to my ship, you know how to get it started, I’ll be there in no time, we’re going to get out of here!’ I didn’t wait for his response, my mind blacked out completely and I started running towards the back of the crowd hidden behind the troopers and the people so the attackers couldn’t see me. ‘STOP!’ I suddenly heard the loud scream of the young girl in the crowd. I reached the left side of the crowd and saw that Lily had stepped forward and was now standing only metres away from Ren, Phasma and the other man, out in the open. ‘DON’T KILL US, PLEASE!’ she desperately screamed. Phasma stopped counting down and everybody looked at the little girl. ‘PLEASE DON’T!’ I saw Phasma hesitate for a second and then lifting her gun, pointing it at Lily. I was just about 2 metres away from them when I heard her gun fire.
‘NOOOO!’ I screamed as loud as I could, reaching out to Lily as I heard the laser shoot through the air. Then, abruptly, everything froze. The dark red laser stopped in mid-air, and I heard nothing but my own scream. What? Lily struggled when I shoved her behind me and I quickly glanced at the crowd of people behind me that were all staring at me in disbelief before I turned back around. Phasma, Ren and all the Troopers, everyone was staring at me. My tears were blurring my vision and my green hair was falling into my eyes, but as I looked at Ren and Phasma I noticed that my right hand was still up in the air, holding the laser in place. I was doing this. There was no more time to react, I quickly turned my hand and shot the laser straight back in the direction it had come from, turned around and pushed the troopers behind us back to let them soar through the air and land several metres away from us in the sand.
We used the stirred up sand and the confusion to grab Lily and Enoka and quickly maneuver us through the fleeing crowd, running back towards the house and my ship. I had done that. Me. We heard several shots behind us that were meant to hit us, and then a lot more that weren’t. The villagers, we could hear their screams of pain. ‘I’m sorry that we couldn’t save all of them, guys, there was no way…’ I stated as we reached the house while tears were streaming down my face. ‘I’m so sorry.’ They didn’t react, they were probably both in shock, and I simply shoved them behind the house and into Aurora where his Oswald was busy starting the engine. I saw some troopers running up behind us, slammed the door shut behind me and took over the starting process while the reunited family hugged and kissed.
Flipping several switches and pressing buttons I managed to finally get the engine to start and was just about to head off when something hit the back of my ship that sent sparks flying through the entire room. ‘They’re shooting at us!’ I shouted and shoved Enoka towards the steering wheel. ‘You steer and I’ll fix it, I trust you!’ She took over immediately and I ran back to inspect the damage the Troopers had made on the back of my ship. As Aurora rose and sped up forwards I saw the small hole in the back wall of my ship and dropped to my knees to fix it. Looking through, I could see two troopers behind the ship, gun in hand, and then, without warning, one of the troopers shot at us again.
Suddenly, it was like everything was happening in slow motion. I pushed the kids out of the way towards their mother and tried to dodge the laser myself but it was too late. The last thing I remember was an excruciating pain in my left shoulder and then everything went black.
The nice waiter with the brown, slicked-back hair leaned down and gave my face a closer look. I immediately lifted my hand to my nose as I felt the thick red liquid running down my lip. ‘Oh I’m sorry, I’ve been having lots of nosebleeds lately, must be this planet.’ Quickly, I grabbed my napkin and brought it up to the blood on my lip. ‘You know, I’ve never been here before, it’s so hot and the air is really dry, I guess my nose just isn’t used to that.’
I gave the waiter a shy smile and he smiled back while offering me another napkin with one of his many hands. ‘Well if I can do anything else to help you out feel free to call me over, here’s your order. Enjoy your meal!’ He placed the plate and the bread basket in front of me, gave me another smile and left.
Feeling embarrassed I kept pressing the napkin to my face and slid closer to the window next to me. Out there were the sandy wastelands of Jakku, an isolated desert planet within the Western Reaches of the galaxy’s inner rim, that I had found myself stranded on after my TIE-Fighter broke down. I had been here for a little over a week now, scavenging old shipwrecks that were leftover from the Battle of Jakku which had ended over 29 years ago. Yesterday I had been able to find old but working parts of a broken TIE-Fighter that crashed all those years ago and took some parts that might help me fix Aurora, my good old ship that I had escaped the Star Destroyer in a few years back. Being in that old wrecked version of my ship had been weird, just like seeing all of those First Order-Emblems scattered around almost every single wreck on this planet kept bringing up memories, the good and the bad ones. I had to admit, I missed being a stormtrooper, I missed being part of a group and part of something bigger, of a unit that held together, no matter what, but it also felt incredibly good to be free and independent, and to be able to do whatever I wanted to. I was lonely, sure, but I wasn’t forced to decide between killing and being killed on a daily basis, life as a fairly neutral scavenger was way easier and nicer.
But the loneliness got to me. I had gotten used to being alone after I had run away from home at age 6, because my dad had raped me several times back when I was 4 and 5, and my mom blamed me for ruining their marriage this way. One day I hadn’t been able to take it anymore and I just left. I had gone to my friend Kate’s house… Just mentioning her name in my mind brought a significant amount of pain to my chest. I had stayed there for a few days and had planned on leaving soon when we both got taken away by the First Order’s Stormtrooper Program. Both our memories were erased that day, but mine came back the day that Greg and Kate died. Kate and I grew up together, I went to be a stormtrooper and she went to be a technician on board the same ship when they’d found out she was no good at fighting.
To my right, I could see the little desert village of Tuanul where I had been living since I got here. When Aurora broke down it had been Enoka who found me and offered me to stay with her and her children Lily and Oswald. At first, I obviously declined, but it was also quite obvious that I wouldn’t be able to sleep in my ship for the amount of time that the repairs would take, so in the end, I stayed with Enoka, who was the only friend I’d had in a long time. Her husband had died a few years ago, so she was raising her kids alone in the middle of this little spiritual village, and they were the nicest people I had met in a very long time. But I knew that I had to leave as soon as possible, and I knew I wouldn’t come back, and I would never see them again.
I let my eyes wander over the desert and its dunes, the wrecks in the distance and the bright blue sky. Maybe it was meant to be this way, maybe I was better off alone, keeping my distance from others after everything that happened to Greg and Kate 2 years ago. My eyes lingered over the very distant but still very prominent starship graveyard far off in the distance, and I let my mind wander off further while I started eating my food. I still had no idea what happened that day, I knew he was trying to rape me and I was only trying to defend myself, but the things that went down that day were still a complete mystery to me. How could the knife have been on the ground completely out of my reach in one moment and then in my hand right in the next one? Why did Greg die, what exactly happened, how did it happen, why did it have to happen, why did Kate have to intervene? What did the others think when they found them? Did they think I was dead too or maybe even captured by someone else and held captive somewhere on a distant planet? Did they think I brutally murdered him and fled? What did George think, what did Phasma think? They probably just thought I was a traitor for leaving. Traitor. Traitor.Traitor.
A few days later I had been working on Aurora so much that I was almost done. I had used parts of old TIE’s and X-wings and many different other smaller ships to build something that wasn’t even really resembling my old TIE anymore, it was more like an amalgamation of very different parts from very different origins, but I sensed that I would be able to leave soon. So one late afternoon I decided to take one last trip through the wrecks that this planet had to offer and I went to visit the “Graveyard of Giants” as the locals seemed to call it to stroll through some of the huge starships that had crashed on the planet. Something that specifically caught my eye was a huge ship with the Resistance’s emblem on it that had crashed into a smaller version of a Star Destroyer. It looked like one of the earthquakes that Jakku had had to suffer from recently had cleared up a lot of sand around the entrance of the bigger ship, so it wasn’t that hard for me to enter the old unstable wreck that had obviously been here for a long time. Looking around with my flashlight I noticed that it didn’t seem like anyone had been in here for a while, but the interior was still kind of intact. If it hadn’t been for the sand and dust that covered almost everything, the ship would almost seem to be in a working state. I let my hand hover above some of the broken consoles and cracked monitors, raising up the dust that had stayed after the earthquake. A few years ago, these specific computers and machines had been something that I could see every day, the Star Destroyer had been filled to the brim with the newest technical inventions and revolutionary and innovative designs, from the place we slept to the weapons we fought with, everything had been of the highest standard possible.
Climbing through a broken door I entered a wide, long corridor that I presumed led to the sleeping quarters of this starship, but especially in this corridor, it was quite obvious that another ship had crashed into this one. The whole right side of the corridor was ripped open and I could see the left wing of the other ship. The rest of the wall was riddled with cracks and a few missing pieces of wall, everything was covered in sand, and I could barely make my way through to the other end of the hallway. The door here would not open for me as easily as the last one did, so I had to pry it open, using some tools I’d brought with me. It took me a while and I even considered just leaving, wondering if the place where the crew had slept would really give me something worth my time, but then the door gave in and did indeed reveal the sight of another corridor with a lot of doors on either side, suggesting that these were actually the sleeping quarters. I looked back into the broken down corridor one last time, I could see the beautiful red sunset over the cold desert, creating shadows behind the huge dunes and little villages far off in the distance. Strolling through this next corridor there wasn’t much to see, just a few old dusty beds with nothing in it. Stormtroopers weren’t really allowed anything personal in these rooms during a mission, so the most personal thing I found was an old book about something boring and an insignificant handwritten letter that was hidden underneath a blanket.. or so I thought. Reading the letter revealed, that the writer had been a spy for the Resistance that had been in contact with someone referred to as ‘Organa’. They talked about how they’d found a really destructive weapon on a mission without understanding its significance and had been able to hide it from their captain and fellow troopers inside their room. I immediately looked up and scanned the room for the hidden weapon. Would it still be here? There was nothing but the bunk beds and a huge hole in the wall and the ceiling which revealed the blue night sky; it was getting late. ‘I don’t understand how it works, it either is broken or it doesn’t respond to me, but I know this is important. I sense some darkness inside it, but it isn’t strong enough to take hold of me, I’ll defend it with my life if need be. I hope th-’ The letter ended there, the trooper probably didn’t have enough time to finish it before their ship attacked Jakku and most of them died in the horrible battle. I spend a moment wondering if maybe there was a chance that this particular person survived, but even if that’d been the case they’d probably be dead by now. Traitors and spies usually got caught and paid for their treachery with their lives.
I crouched down next to the bed that I’d found the letter on, scanning first the mattress and the bed frame and then the floor and the surrounding walls. Where would someone hide something that held this much meaning to them? I sat down on the floor next to the bed and fumbled underneath it for something, just some clue to tell me if I had any chance of finding this weirdly important weapon. What would it be if I found it? I wondered if it was a gun like mine or maybe the ones we had back at the First Order, but what would possibly make it so special? Maybe something like- and then suddenly my fingers hit something. I felt something tiny that was barged in between the floor tiles, and as I pushed it I felt the tile that was located under the bed lift up. Using my multi-tool I was able to remove the tile and push my hand into the hollow space below when my flashlight went out. Cursing, I gently felt around until my hand brushed against something cold. I flinched and grabbed the thing. It was cold and made of metal, maybe 15 inches long in a cylindrical shape with a curved end. What was this? I pulled it out of its hole and tried to look at it, but it was too dark to see anything anymore without my light, so I just opened my bag to put it inside when suddenly a quake shook the earth and sand started to trickle down through the cracks on the ceiling. Really, another earthquake? To be on a broken ship like this would be way too dangerous if something collapsed and hit me it would be my certain death.
I threw the thing in my bag and ran back outside the way I came, breathing in the cold air as I exited the ship and hurried back to the village in which I had left Aurora. I was worried about Enoka and the kids, I didn’t know if they were used to dealing with earthquakes since their hut was poorly made and could collapse any minute during something like this. When I hit the top of the last dune that I had to cross to get back to Tuanul I stopped dead in my tracks. This wasn’t an earthquake. I looked directly at four First Order squadrons that were landing right next to Tuanul, two of them had already done so and two others were still approaching. The squadron’s doors opened and I could see probably about a hundred stormtroopers in there. ‘I have to get to Noka.’ I thought and quickly but sneakily ran back to the village.
“Excuse me, are you implying what I think you’re implying?” The automatic door closed behind him as the strong, blonde man stepped closer without averting his gaze from me. “Oh stop pretending you don’t feel the same way. Look around, no one’s here to stop us.” His eyes darkened and he stepped even closer.
“Look Greg, I really think you misunderstood, I just wanted to go to bed and have some time to myself, this last mission has been really stressful for me and you persisted on walking me to my room - “ “Oh come on, don’t tell me you’re tiredornot in the mood, I hear that all the time from Kate, stop pretending you don’t want this!”
I started slowly backing away getting closer to the wall of my tiny room. ‘Please, Greg, just leave, go to Katie, she’s gonna be so glad to hear that you’re back and still alive, we’re Stormtroopers after all!’ ‘Oh shut up you stupid bitch! I don’t wanna hear any more of your stupid bullshit, you’ve been teasing me this whole trip and now you’d deny me? This whole trip, this whole fucking trip I’ve been wanting to fuck you, but Phasma was just always too close, that fucking rigorous bitch with the fucking rest of the First Order. But no one’s here now, is there?’ With that sentence he launched forward, grabbing my neck and pinning me to the wall. I immediately started struggling, but I was so weak from these weeks of constant fighting that I couldn’t do much but wiggle against his strong grip on my throat. ‘You’re mine now you stupid fucking slut! Stop resisting, just give in, you’ll like it, I promise.’ Greg started angrily licking and kissing my neck while I kept struggling. ‘Stop it! I don’t want this, Greg, please just leave!’ ‘I’ve been wanting this for so long, I deserve this, now STOP RESISTING!’
While his hands were freely roaming my body I started panicking, this was giving me so many flashbacks of that… that time that… My eyes scanned the room for some sort of weapon. On my desk there were just a few useless books and some papers, my bed was empty, my closet was just filled with clothes, on my nightstand was the old broken white helmet that I wore on a mission a while back, but I knew that I had a knife in the drawer somewhere! But how would I reach that, that was literally on the other side of the room… Then it hit me, and I was starting to get sick from the thought of how I would get there. ‘You fucking whore, you like it rough, huh?’ Greg grabbed my hair and forced his lips to meet mine, which almost made me throw up, but I had to, I had to do it, I had to… ‘Mhaha, I knew it.’ He laughed while I kissed him back, pressing back into him, crossing my ankles behind his back. ‘I thought you’d like a little foreplay.’ I seductively whispered into his ear and kissed down the crook of his neck while not trying to vomit, which made him moan loudly. ‘Now get me to bed, Mister Stairnyst.’ He immediately pulled me closer, completely lifting me away from the wall and carrying me to my bed, throwing me down onto it. Then he started fumbling with his clothes and I secretly snuck my hand into my bedside table’s drawer, frantically searching around for that knife. In my panic, I knocked the table over somehow and my old helmet fell off, hitting the floor with a loud crash.
‘What the fuck are you doing?!’ Greg grabbed my waist and I kicked him in the chest to pull myself from his grip to get to the knife that was now lying on the floor right next to my closet. ‘You fucking bitch!’ I fell on the floor and crawled towards my closet as fast as I could, but Greg caught my leg and turned me on my back. I kicked him again, this time only reaching his arm and then his leg, but I must’ve hit a wounded spot because groaned in pain and let go of me and I turned back to my closet, crawling further towards the knife, reaching out for it. When my fingers touched the cool metal I felt Greg grab my ankle, pulling me back, turning me around to lie on my back before pinning me to the ground, holding my right hand over my head while my other one was still trying to reach for the silver blade. ‘You’ll regret this, you’re my little slut, Zara, just my little slut!’
He ripped my shirt open to expose my black bra and started touching my body again. I desperately reached out for the knife, which was about 2 metres away from me, way out of my reach, but I couldn’t give up, I didn’t want this. ‘Please…’ I begged while focusing on the knife, ‘…please, please, please.’ ‘Oh I’m gonna make you beg, don’t you worry.’ I could feel his hands in my pants, then fumbling with my belt. ‘Please.’ I focused on the knife, I reached for it and suddenly, it slowly slid towards me, then almost flew into my hand.
I didn’t even hesitate a single moment, swinging the knife towards him, slicing the side of his right arm open. Blood gushed out through his skin and his black long-sleeved shirt and he suddenly gasped: ‘What the..?’ He rose to his knees and I sliced again, barely missing him, and again, but he hit the knife out of my hand, catapulting it under my bed, and grabbed my neck again. ‘You are in so much trouble, little girl!’ He threw me against the wall, pinning me there again, slapping me multiple times and choking me until my vision started to become blurry and dark. ‘Yeah, not that much of a troublemaker now, are you?’ I could feel his erection pressing against my thigh and tried to struggle, I just wanted to get out of this, out of here, I wanted nothing else. I freed my hand from his grip and pushed it against him, pushed him back as fast as I could, which surprisingly made him fly back right into my closet, through the doors and into the back wall.
I was shaking and I didn’t understand what was going on, but when he started moving and crawling out of it I rose my hand again, smashing him against the wall even though I was still standing on the other side of the room. He desperately put his hands around his throat as if something was choking him - as if I was choking him - while he slid higher. My hand was still reaching out to him, and I couldn’t stop doing what I was doing, my anger and my memories were consuming me and I couldn’t think straight. He struggled, his limbs started spasming out and his head turned red and then blue and suddenly: ‘STOP!’
I didn’t even really realize that there was a person standing in the doorway behind me that had just shouted that word at me and I had already instinctively thrown them against the nearest wall to turn back to Greg. He abruptly let out an agonizing scream and suddenly there was blood everywhere, it covered the walls and my bed and the closet and me and everything was red.
I didn’t understand, I let my hand sink down and saw his body go limp and his severed head fell down onto the bloody floor, rolling towards me. I screamed and stumbled backwards. ‘What the.. what the fuck?’ I fell back against my bed in shock when I heard another noise cut through the silence. ‘W–wh.’ I turned around and saw Kate lying on the floor, her back and neck were weirdly and unnaturally bent and her face was covered in blood and her short brown hair was sticking to it. I had thrown Kate against the wall so hard that I had broken her neck.
I crouched down and desperately took her hand, tears streaming down my face while she stared into my eyes. ‘Why..’ ‘I’m so sorry, oh my god I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t! Are you… He did, he tried, oh my god.’ My tears were blurring my vision and my heart was racing. ‘He tried to rape me, I was just, I was trying to defend myself, I..’ I stopped when she grabbed my hand, pressing it as hard as she could. ‘I am so sorry Kate, I am so sorry.’ Looking back into her eyes I could see everything: how betrayed she felt, and how scared she was of dying, and then all of a sudden I could see the life leave her body. I broke down when she let go of my hand and rested my face on her chest. ‘No, please, no!’ I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t stay here, I couldn’t keep fighting battles after this, I just killed two people! Storming back to my closet I grabbed my old helmet and the knife and ran to the door. ‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it, I didn’t want this to happen, I’m so sorry!’ I cried out and I let my watering eyes scan Kate’s and Greg’s lifeless bodies and his severed head one last time before I ran off through the long and cold corridors towards the escape pods.
