Switching to the Light wasn´t an easy thing for Ben, he still goes through very bad times when the Darkness tries to call him, but he tries to hide his frustration as best he can since he knows, and feels, that he´s the only pillar that you have to stay in the Light too.
Leaving the darkness for you was a bit more complicated, since your whole life was full of situations that fueled the anger you felt, and going so dramatically into the Light, when you had never been there before, meant completely forgetting and leaving behind the person you were.
There are times when one of the two wakes up in the middle of the night, sweating or crying due to some nightmare, and the other will always cling to the other’s body, even after leaving the Darkness, both continue to maintain your bond through the Force, so you´re able to feel what the other feels. Both are a kind of lifeline for each other.
At first, it was very difficult for you to move around the resistance base, since you could feel the inquisitive looks and some of the suspicious thoughts of the people around you and judged you.
There are times when both cannot sleep and leave your tent to walk calmly and chat alone in the surroundings of the base.
During the whole time you were together in the First Order, you got used to leading your life as a couple in an extremely private way and it´s something that even being in the Light you continue to maintain, all your activities together, such as eating, training and your free time it still, as much as possible, at the privacy of your tent.
Regarding the displays of affection, at first you were both embarrassed that someone saw you sharing a caress, but little by little, Ben began to be affectionate with you in public, holding your hand when you walked together, hugging you from time to time and occasionally kissing you on the forehead.
Sometimes when you try to call him, you do it by the name of Kylo; You automatically blush and apologize immediately, but secretly, and privately, you both like to hear your old names (in fact, even now in the Light, you both call each other by their Sith names while having sex and love it).
You aren´t very sociable, however, Ben has managed to develop a good relationship with Poe, knocked down by their mutual interest for ships and engineering, while you have started a good friendship with Chewbacca. Both try to avoid Rey, although sometimes Ben helps her train and that makes you feel very jealous, and Finn avoids you completely.
A Poem Exposé? about Kylo Ren and a Reader or “insert” lover who is not Rey. Original Poem by Dylan Thomas in Bold. Italics are mine, where the “story” meets the poem.
This is a stand alone piece, not connected in storyline to my other works.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
And he did not. No, rather it was a painfully slow end. His life force for another.
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
You had planned to grow old together, something you had done since you were children, one half of a whole soul.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Yours was dimming, he traded his so she could live, but your light was his light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
He must have known what this would cause, what that trade would do, something to set the universe right, but your world collapsed the moment he did.
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
But his actions stopped them, his sacrifice helped save everyone, helped save her, but possibly unbeknownst to him, it sacrificed you too.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
He was lost, for so long, unable to find the truth. He did what he thought was right, even when that deed was against all else, the only truth he knew was you.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
She didn’t get to watch you fall, no, you were supposed to be safe. He kept you safe, but nay that did no good, for you still fell.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
One of the things you loved most about him, was that childish seeking of adventure, the one he hid from all else, part of the true form he only revealed to you.
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
But he found out too late that the fight he was fighting, was not the good fight, for all the players had not revealed their hand. No, he was playing blind in a master’s game.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
But in the end, when it really mattered he was there, not taking a particular side, he was there. Fighting the one who would destroy the galaxy.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
You felt the shift just prior to his perilous end, his mother, gave herself to him and gave you the sight to see his end.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Oh, how you wish your message traveled faster, how it would get to him sooner. But in the end, it did not matter. For in either outcome your light would diminish.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
He was the end of the line now, not only his father’s by his own hand but his mother’s too. You were not fruitful, but you believed there was more time, but how wrong you were.
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
But you were the one to bear the pain of feeling the other leave. You were given moments to grieve as you watched, anguish and anger, and loss, and heartbreak was what you felt.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
And you did not, for if there were others around to witness your fall, they would have heard the screams of wretched tormented pain you felt, and the violent tears pouring down your face. As scream was the last sound, not heard.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
As you took your last breath, the flame of it went out.
A new galactic war was forming, and your star system needed to create an alliance. Your father, the king, made a deal with the First Order in a promise of protection for guaranteed trade. You are arranged to marry the Commander Kylo Ren, apprentice of the Supreme Leader. A man who is hidden behind his mask. Will your husband show you his heart? Or will it be forever hidden behind a mask?
*Note: The author of this work does not condone arranged marriage practices, domestic abuse, or non-con sexual encounters, this work is for fictional uses only.*
You dressed in your nightclothes and slipped underneath the freshly changed covers. You regretted asking the droid to change them as these smelled new and sterile and nothing like him. Eventually you drifted in and out of consciousness. Late into the night or early morning, you swore you could hear the sounds of the outer door opening and shutting. And then the door next to your room opening and closing. He must be back. And choosing his own room rather than yours to clean up and rest in.
Your suspicions were confirmed when you heard the sound of water running through the pipes. He had his own refresher, which made sense as you knew he didn’t use yours to shower in. You briefly wondered if he washed his hair, if he even had any. Your mind drifted to what hair you had seen on his body. If he had hair on his head, it would be as dark as the hair that led to his cock. At the rush of that thought, you involuntarily squeezed your thighs together, feeling heat pool there briefly. You weren’t asleep again for more than 30 minutes before you heard your door open; you had hoped it was him joining you to sleep. But he had other plans.
You felt the bed dip behind you slightly as you felt a hand trace up your outer thigh before moving to grip the inner tender flesh. You felt his other hand lightly shove your shoulder into the bed; face down into your pillow. No words were exchanged. Your nightgown was shoved up to your waist revealing that your bareness, unlike previous encounters where you didn’t wear any for his savagery of ripping it off, you had worn none this time in hopes of a more consensual encounter, but it would not happen.
But what you felt shocked you, your hips were brought up higher, more convenient angle, his fingers traced down your folds as if he was touching a delicate piece of ancient knowledge. His calloused thumb massaged your delicate clit. You bit into the pillow to muffle your moans of pleasure. You didn’t want to scare him off. But he continued to slowly massage you for a few minutes as his fingers danced over your folds. You felt his bare thigh brush up against yours. You did not remember hearing him take off any clothes, he must have come in naked.
You felt him ready you as both hands gripped into the meat of your ass, his thumbs dipping into you, spreading your cunt wide for him. His thrusts were different this time, desperate in a different way as if touching you was almost enough to get him there, that he was desperate for any form of friction or tightness from you. His hands had moved to the top of your hips to steady his unsteady self. You could hear the urgency in his breaths through his mask. You neared your edge as his hand came to steady his cock inside you. His fingers fumbling against your folds as you wrapped around him.
You moaned as brightness hit the back of your eyelids, your convulsions were just enough to send him into his own orgasm. One that almost made him collapse on top of you, but he steadied himself before that could happen. You felt his helmet rest against your back as his hands landed on either side of the bed. As he lifted himself up from you, you felt the bed dip even more with his weight. His hands steadied themselves once more on the top of your hips as he reluctantly pulled out of you as if he was relishing in your warmth. He used your hips to help him stand, something he has never done. Almost as if he had just given you everything. As he stood, you heard him slightly stumble back and brace himself against the wall. His arm making a dull thud sound against the metal wall.
He stood there for a moment as you let your hips return down to the bed. Once they made contact, you stretched your legs and spread them out even wider, hoping that he was looking and that he enjoyed the slight show. While your face was still buried in the pillow, you reached down under you to your own folds, feeling the wetness you both had left behind. Your fingers mixing the two milky substances, relishing in the tenderness you felt there. You heard him take a step forward, but as you took your hand away hoping it would be replaced by something, anything of his; you heard the door open. As you turned to look at it, you saw the glimpse of his bare shoulder as he left.
You were alone.
It took a while for you to fight back into sleep as your emotions seemed to run through the entire course of the Kessel Run. You squeezed your thighs together, relishing in the tenderness you felt between them, and hugged your pillow as sleep finally overcame you.
You were reluctant to wake to your alarm, feeling groggy and sore. But you ushered on into the refresher taking a shower, you cringed as you washed away the dried cum between your legs and in your folds. Pondering over the bruises he left on your hips. You didn’t remember him gripping you that hard during the whole thing, so you assumed they were from his attempts at balancing himself. Squeezing your thighs together, hoping to feel a ghost of his cock. Your body almost seemed to ache for his ability to fill you and stretch you. And anything else was just you missing a piece of yourself.
You finished your shower and finished getting ready. As you stepped out into the living room, you heard the main door shut, which means that your husband had just left. It stung just a bit knowing that if you had left your room just two seconds earlier, you would have been able to see him if only for a moment. You set aside that thought and made yourself breakfast, you ate, and as you put your bowl away you thought for a moment, and sent a photo to your husband even though he was apparently on board ship.
Commander Ren,
As per the attached photo, I have eaten. Good morning, there is dessert in the fridge from last night if you have a moment to enjoy it.
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
A rather quick response came to you, as if it only took just moments for him to respond.
Dear Princess Ren,
I fail to believe that you have put your cunt in the fridge.
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
You dropped your datapad in shock at the message. Frozen for several minutes as your brain tried to process his message. You eventually picked it back up off the floor, the feeling of blood rushing to your face and vulnerability as you bent down. Slowly staggering to the kitchen and snapped a photo to send back to him.
Commander Ren,
No! I made dessert last night, thinking you were going to be back earlier than you were, I miscalculated how late you were actually going to be.
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
Moments later, his response came.
Dear Princess Ren,
That is… unsatisfying.
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
It shocked you. Did he really want a nude photo of you? Sent to him now? When he could just come to you from where ever he was on the ship and fuck you again? If he was away on a mission, you could understand. You could even hope that it would be his eyes only on the photo, but on this ship wherever he was you couldn’t guarantee that.
Commander Ren,
Did you expect me to undress and take a photo of myself in the fridge?!
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
You wandered over to the couch to sit down, to be able to steady yourself for this conversation. He seemed to be like you right on the datapad, as another message seemed to instantly reply to you.
Dear Princess Ren,
The fridge detail is rather unneeded, but the photo would be rather satisfactory.
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
You could feel warmth pool between your legs as you excitedly responded.
Commander Ren,
I was informed that you have surveillance access to our quarters. What need does a photo satisfy compared to that?
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
This was it, you were flirting with your husband. It seemed like the datapad was just the buffer and shield you needed in order to be able to do so, both of you.
Dear Princess Ren,
I do. Your point?
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
So he really needed you to spell it all out for him. You took a breath of bravery and stood and shot off a reply.
Commander Ren,
Where are the cameras placed? You better be alone.
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
You waited with baited breaths for his response.
Dear Princess Ren,
Near the window facing towards the front door. Another in the kitchen facing towards your bedroom door and lastly in the corner of your bedroom facing your door out into the living room.
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
Bravely you headed towards the window and hit the button to shut the shutters, closing off the outside world to what was about to happen. Finding the small round device that appeared to be the camera. You sent off one quick message before setting the datapad on a side table.
Commander Ren,
As I said, you better be alone. Get ready for a show.
Princess Ren
Wife to the Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
Once you sent off the message, you took a few paces back from the camera. You turned slowly in a circle, stretching your neck as you did so, showing him the skin that was already exposed there. You paused as you faced the camera, fingertips slowly drifting up to the sides of your face and then down along your neck and collarbone. Slowly teasing him with the skin that was already bare. Fingertips brushing up and down against the top of your breasts, against the small amount of cleavage you allowed the world to already see.
You slowly turned, keeping your back to the camera now, letting your fingertips caress your skin as you stretched your neck, and caressed yourself as if you were your own lover. Hands skimming over your sides and waist, rolling your neck sensually. You paused for a moment, before hooking a finger under the shoulder of your dress and letting it fall down your arm, and then to the other side. You were unsure how far the other camera could see, so you covered your breasts, not wanting to show too much too soon. Being a tease.
You stepped out of your dress entirely. Slowly turning towards the camera, keeping yourself ‘modest’ with your own hands. You played shy while batting your eyelashes towards it, and then you rolled your neck, exposing more of yourself to him, but not everything. This was so liberating for you, as your arm and hand kept you covered. You crossed your legs and brought the hand that was covering your crotch up to caress the bare skin of your stomach. You also squeezed your own breast, relishing in the sensation of letting out a small moan.
You did not know if that surveillance included sound, but at this point, you didn’t care. You gained the courage to drop your arm, but then quickly took your breasts in your hands, squeezing and leaning forward, eventually splaying your fingers. Swirling your nipples, giving him a show and yourself pleasure. Your hands had minds of their own, one still playing with your breast, the other trailing its way down your stomach and to your crotch. Just as your fingers were gracing your folds, your datapad pinged with a message.
You sauntered over to it, pushing your ass out as you leaned over to read it. Spreading your legs a bit, hopefully giving him a full view.
Dear Princess Ren,
Your bed would give us both a better vantage point for that.
Commander Kylo Ren
Apprentice to Supreme Leader Snoke and Master of the Knights of Ren
You read it out loud, giggled, and turned. Looking at the camera over your shoulder playfully. You picked up the datapad and sauntered your way to your bedroom. When the door to your bedroom opened, you looked at it squarely before tossing the datapad onto the bed. You promenaded for a moment giving a show before flopping down onto the bed. You ran your hands through your hair before grabbing your pillows and propping up your back.
Now fully facing the camera, baring it all to him. You trailed your hands over yourself. You spread your legs wide, allowing your hands to find different ways to pleasure yourself. Your hands taking turns with your breasts, your lips, and your folds, even thrusting fingers in and out of yourself. Filling your room full of your own moans. You did not know how long you were lost within yourself, but you panicked as you heard the outer door of your quarters open and shut, but then your brain registered the familiar fall of a particular person’s boot steps.
Your bedroom door opened, relieving your husband in his black-clad glory. You spoke first as he almost hesitated in the doorway. “You’re wearing too many clothes,” it came out as much more of a whine than should have been appropriate between you two given your history.
But oddly enough, he complied as he started taking off his belt, toeing off his boots, and removing his shirt. You shimmied up the bed, throwing the pillows back into place and flopping down into your usual spot. By the time your eyes had focused on him again, he was nude in front of you, well except for his helmet. He climbed up between your legs; you were both eager and ready. An arm behind your back and the other hooked over your shoulder as he thrust in. The quick and tempered pace was what he set out for you both.
This angle allowed you to kiss and run your tongue over the mouthpiece. Your brain was already so fried that you could not fathom why that wouldn’t be a good idea. But oddly enough your husband didn’t seem to mind, or maybe he was more focused on what his genitals were doing that you kissing him didn’t matter. After all, you could only speculate how flustered your show left him. It was a possibility that his brain was just as flustered. But he turned his head to yours as if HE was kissing you.
You rang in your orgasm loudly, probably the loudest you had ever been. Kylo kept going as he had yet to reach his own climax, but you could feel he was just on the cusp. But he briefly switched angles, hitting your sweet spot again and again and again, almost as if he was determined to get you off again before he came. And it worked, or rather you literally came together as a final crescendo to the complete show. As you came down, you gripped his helmet in your hands and kissed him as if your life depended on it. Forcing yourself on top of him. Taking control of the finale.
And for once he didn’t cut it short as his hands wrapped loosely around your back. He let you kiss him. Your kisses trailed all over his face. As you kissed his crown, you could feel your nipples graze against the textured metal. By the end, you were sitting on his stomach as you sat up. Essentially ‘trapping’ him beneath you.
You felt a giggle bubble up, “Was that a good dessert?” A mischievous smile gracing your lips. A sparkle within your eye.
You could hear him sigh deeply before responding, “It was… acceptable.”
You cocked your brow and tilted your head, “Just acceptable, I thought that it all was rather impressive myself. Much better than the photo you requested.”
You heard a sharp sound, which could have translated into a snort, “Much better than a photo, I agree.”
You moved to hover over his face, “So more than acceptable?”
His hands gripped your hips as he pulled you off of him. “More than acceptable,” he reluctantly agreed.
You had a pout on your face as you realized he was leaving. “So what were you doing, might I ask?”
As he pulled up his pants, “Test piloting my TIE Fighter, I had some adjustments made, and they needed testing.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling on his boots. You joined him in your naked glory.
“Did I distract you? I have been called a distraction for you.” You didn’t really want to bring up Hux in your afterglow, but you wanted to tease your husband.
He turned and looked at you, his covered eyes seeming to bore into you. “It would take much more than that to be a distraction.” He then stood up and donned his shirt.
You crossed your arms over your chest, knowingly pushing up your breasts. “That sounds like a challenge.” Your mind started twisting and turning, thinking about how you would be able to get under his skin in that way.
He bent down to look at you again while putting on his gloves. “I would like to see you try.” You could tell that this would be fun for both of you. He then turned and headed out of your bedroom.
You followed unabashed in your nudeness in your own home. You grabbed his arm, and he froze; he was headed out the door to return to whatever else he had yet to do today. You stood on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek, “Good morning.” And then let go to walk over to your dress, which was still in the corner of the living room. As you pulled it on, you could see him paused in front of the door to the ship’s hallway. His head turned slightly as if to keep you in the corner of his eye, checking to see if you were clothed. Once your dress was properly situated on your body, he left.
You were very proud of yourself at that moment; you had managed to get him to drop whatever he was doing to come running to you, for you. It felt empowering knowing you could do that to him. Even if he would never admit it. You half wondered if he would travel across the galaxy for you if you had put on that much of a show while he was away.
You hoped that the bubble wouldn’t burst anytime soon, that he would continue with this round of good moods. But you knew it wouldn’t last forever, as much as you wanted it to, reality would come crashing down around you.
Briefly, you wondered if you would eventually fall in love with this man; it felt as if you were reaching the summit and that you would be there soon. You just hoped that he wasn’t below sea level. He might never say the words, but you hoped he would at least harbor the feelings.
A/N: There will be approximately once a month updates or more, February was just short. But I kept my promise.
A/N: I hope you enjoy it. it’s a little something-something. It’s short and sweet.
Also- listened to Josh Groban while writing this. Low key inspired it.
Prompt:1. “How can you love a monster?”
WARNINGS: none. Fluff.
She took careful steps on the tips of her toes as she danced around the open room. Her dress was pale pink and her hair was a tasseled beautiful mess. In the moonlight, the tops of her cheeks glowed and her eyelids glittered. The room was silent but he could hear the music in her head, playing like a soft wind up music box. She smiled for no one but he felt like it was just for him.
Everything about her was graceful. He wanted nothing more than to take (y/n) into his arms but that would have meant for him to step into the light. He was not ready yet to stop watching her.
She was innocent, lost in her own little world. He could see the visions in her head. A grand ball on some planet, she the princess and he the one she’s been waiting for. They’re happy. So in love.
Kylo took a step out of the shadows. Her eyes meet his and her lips curled into a fresh smile.
“Dance with me,” she sang offering her hand.
“There’s no music.”
“There doesn’t have to be.”
He took her hand unafraid and spun her around before pulling her close. She was Petite next to him and her hands the size of a child’s in his. She followed his lead and he swayed her round the perimeter of the room. (Y/n) glided as if she was on air. They moved naturally together.
“I’m so happy you’re here.” (Y/n) sighed contently.
Kylo lowered his lips to meet hers, kissing her delicately. “What I wouldn’t give for it to be this way all the time.”
“Me too.”
“I must admit, I’m not the best version of myself without you. I’m messy, angry all the time, and have murderous thoughts. I’ve done bad things while away from you. Things you would not approve of. I saw the scavenger and she called me a monster. She’s right. It’s what I am.” He frowned. “How can you love a monster?”
She cupped his face in her hands and kissed both his cheeks. “You are not perfect and neither am I. Kylo Ren I don’t think you’re a monster. I just think you’re a creature that wants to be understood.”
Kylo lifted her into the air and spun her around. “You are the absolute love of my life and I don’t deserve you.”
“It’s not about what you deserve,” (y/n) stopped to pull him flush against her. “It’s about what you need. You need me as I need you.”
Warnings: smut, fem!reader insert (anatomy and petnames), d/s, power imbalance, overstimulation, forced orgasms, choking, fingering, brief fisting, light spanking, mean!kylo, references to PIV sex, poor proof-reading
His shoes were shiny from this angle. The material appeared glossy and new, you wondered how old they were? The floor was glossy new, likely cleaned this morning while you were out, in line with the First Order’s stringent cleanliness standards. You probably wouldn’t have paid so much attention to something stupid like the ground were you not in your current position, dangling over the lap of the supreme leader of the first order. There was a large arm wrapped around your waist keeping you tight against his torso in case you felt like making any fruitless attempts to run.
Summary: “You were one of the 12 Padawans that Luke Skywalker taught. There, you met the love of your life. Your first best friend, your first lover and your first boyfriend; Ben Solo. Everything was perfect. That is, until the Jedi temple was burned by Ben Solo himself. 5 years pass since you last saw him and he isn’t the man you used to know. The Moon preferred darkness and in that darkness, Kylo Ren was born.”
“Hey Y/N, wake up,” you heard a voice whisper to you. You let out a moan, snuggling deeper into your bed. “C’mon, wake up.”
Your eyes fluttered open to see Ben with the widest smile ever, holding a plate of pancakes drizzled with chocolate syrup and whipped cream. Candles with the number ‘18’ was stuck on top of the breakfast creation.
“Happy birthday my Sun,” he spoke, moving over to kiss you on your forehead. You hummed in approval. “I made you something.”
“I can see that,” you grinned, getting up from your bed to grab the delicious looking plate of pancakes. “It looks amazing.”
You begun eating, moaning everytime you have the syrup mixed in with whipped cream. Ben sat down, watching with a grin on his face. “Can you believe you are finally 18?”
You slowed down eating slightly, an uneasy look settling on your face. Ben took notice of this look and grabbed your hand. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, it’s just-“ you put the plate down, shaking your head. You then rubbed your temple before facing the love of your life. “I’m 18. You’re almost 21. You should’ve become a Jedi this year with Almec, Daario and Leirra and gone with Luke to the Resistance base. But you didn’t. Why?”
“Y/N-“
“Why?”
Ben sighed, letting go of your hand. “If we become Jedi, it means we must potentially end things with one another. And- and I don’t want that.”
“We don’t have to, we can keep everything in secret,” you told him. Ben let out a bitter laugh, getting up from his seat.
“Please, you’re telling me Luke wouldn’t know? He already knows and he won’t let us train with each other as Padawans,” he spoke, brushing his hair back. “Imagine if we were Jedi? He would banish the both of us. Shame us. Because God forbid that I, Ben Solo, am ever happy and found someone who actually loves me.”
“Ben-“
“All my life, I felt like I had to prove something to my Uncle. That I’m not like Grandfather. And everytime, he always spits on my face, trying to get rid of everyone I love. But I won’t let that happen, no, that won’t happen. Because I won’t let it,” Ben continued on. He then looked at you, seeing your eyes looking at him in confusion. “But let’s not talk about that now. Today is your birthday. And I have a surprise for you tonight.”
You let out a small laugh, still a bit taken back by his little rant. He was breathing deeply, his eyes moving around your room like he regretted the words coming out of his mouth. His eyes looked at yours, desperate to hear you say something, anything.
“I can’t wait.”
-
Ben sat patiently on his chair, nervously bouncing his knee. He had spent hours trying to arrange this; a table near the edge of the cliff, rose petals scattered across the table, a candle illuminating the environment and a gourmet meal that he had prepared himself.
It would’ve been quicker to arrange, if he had help by a friend. But he didn’t. No one liked Ben, or in his mind he thought no one did. In his mind however, that did not matter. You were all he needed.
But see, the thing is, when you rely on one person, that person becomes your whole life. Your day doesn’t start until their’s does. What you do depends on what the other person wants to do. Your thoughts, behaviour, is affected by their’s. And that concept is dangerous. Because once that person exits their life, whether by death or purpose, their own life crashes, burns. And they are left with nothing but ashes, a reminder of what was.
And then, their lives have no purpose but what the next person asks them of. That is what it means to be dependent.
And that is how Ben was. You both never noticed at that time, but he was someone who relied heavily on you. Maybe you should have realised, when you saw the way his eyes lit up the moment you walked towards him in a white, silky dress, pearls adorned on your hair.
“You look amazing,” Ben spoke breathlessly, watching how the candle accentuated your features. You smiled lovingly at him, walking over and pressing a kiss on his lips.
And then the last night you would ever spend the with him, unbeknownst to you, went on. Many laughs and kisses were shared. It was a night you would not forget. And it wasn’t because you lost your virginity to the man you love on your 18th birthday, you wished that reason was why this night was so memorable.
But that might, you had made fivemistakes.
“I’m ready,” you spoke in a quiet voice, looking at him in awe, like he was the one who created all the things in the galaxy. Ben scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, not understanding what you were hinting. “I want you to make love to me, Ben Solo.”
That was your first mistake.
Within a flash, you were pressed against the wall by Ben in your room, kissing like you haven’t seen each other in years. His hands were grabbing you wherever he could, both of you panting like starved dogs.
He picked you up before gently lying you on the bed, his lips trailing down your neck, leaving kisses along the way. You let out a breathless moan, your hand tugging at his roots. Ben then looked up, his eyes half lidded. “Are you sure?”
“More than I’ll ever be.”
And that was the night you lost your virginity. You hadn’t slept that night, too giddy with emotions that you couldn’t stop thinking how happy you were as you smiled, drawing shapes on Ben’s back. Wind quietly howled as your window was left open, stars bright in the sky.
But, as fate had willed, you had felt thirsty. Your mouth felt dry. So you quietly got up from your bed, trying not to wake up Ben. Putting on a robe, you begun walking outside to go fetch a bucket of water from the well outside.
That was your unnoticed mistake.
As you begun to attack the bucket onto the rope, you felt a buzz against your neck, feeling a presence behind you. Turning around, you were shocked to see who it was. “Almec?”
“In a flesh,” he spoke, but it sounded a bit dry, like he was wounded. You smiled at him, pulling up your robes more as you realised how you may look inappropriate right now with just a pink silk robe.
“When did you come back from the Resistance base?” You spoke, trying to make a conversation out of an awkward situation. The wind picked up, making your hair fly everywhere. Yet, you still did not hear a response from Almec. “Almec?”
“You know I loved you,” he confessed, taking a step towards you. You moved hair out of your way, looking at Almec in shock. You watched as he kept moving towards you, a broken look on his face. “I loved you. I still love you. And- and I came back to tell you that I left the Jedi. I’m no longer a Jedi. Because of you, Y/N. I want to be with you.”
“Almec-“
“But you slept with him. You slept with that little fucking bastard-“
“Almec-“
“Who fucking killed a bird when he were little and he convinced you he didn’t kill him when I saw him do it with my own eyes! I saw it Y/N! But you always want to believe him. Only him. It’s always him. It will always be him. And one day, he’s going to fuck up. But it would be too late. It will be too late for you,” he spoke, his face now mere inches away from yours. “But even then, you’ll still come running back to him. In the end, you always do.”
Tears were streaming down your face as you looked at him in anger. You looked at him with all the anger you could muster, but you didn’t say anything. You just looked at him like he had betrayed you.
That was your weakest mistake.
Because that quiet little moment, that moment of what could’ve been filled with words defending the person you love, was replaced by a kiss. A kiss you did not want, a kiss not initiated by you. A kiss you had wanted to pull away from, your sense of loyalty kicking in, but couldn’t because Almec’s arms were wrapped around you.
But it did not matter what you wanted to do. Because when someone walks by and sees, they’ll see merely two people kissing.
And that’s exactly what Ben saw. You did not see him, he made his presence known by pushing Almec away from you.
“Ben!” You screamed, as you watched him continuously punch Almec, his eyes black as night. That had taken you back. “Ben stop it! Ben please stop it!”
He did not listen as Almec’s blood splattered against his face. And he didn’t even flinch. You watch, now even more horrified. The most horrified you’ve ever been in your life. You could tell that Almec was in the verge of death. This man, a man you’d known for ages, was going to die in the hands of your lover if you did not intervene.
So you did what you had to do. You used the force against him and pushed him away. Far away from you and Almec. When you made sure he was far away, you ran towards Almec, cradling his head in your arms as he let out a groan. You looked at Ben, who looked just as horrified as you did. “Y/N-“
“Leave,” you spoke, the tone in your voice holding a strict seriousness within it. Ben stood up, gulping as he looked at you, his eyes shining like he was trying to hold back tears.
“Y/N-“
“Leave!” You screamed as you stood up, the wind picking up from the strong aura of the force that surrounded you. Ben looked at you one last time before nodding, turning to look away.
And you did not chase after him.
That was your worst mistake.
You should’ve ran after him. You should’ve been there with him at his most vulnerable state, a state where he could be manipulated by anyone and anything.
As you patched up Almec at the infirmary, not wanting anyone to find out about what had just took place, your mind was thinking about Ben. And how Almec was right about you always running back to him. But you won’t. Not this time. Not looking at Almec’s face, his barely unidentifiable face.
“Y/N, I’m so sorry,” Almec spoke, his voice coming out a whisper due to his probably broken ribs. You ignored him, moving water through the force to ice out his injuries. “I- I didn’t mean to. To cause a rift between you two. I- I just love you so much, and-“
“Okay, that’s done. Just make sure you apply a new bandaid every 6 hours after putting on disinfectant,” you instructed. Almec nodded, taking the hint. You gave him one last look before walking off to your quarters.
-
It was 4AM when you finally fell asleep. It was hard, but eventually you felt yourself drifting into oblivion.
‘You wanted to kill me!’ You heard a voice cry out. You stirred in your sleep, barely awake as you clung onto your blanket. The wind howled even stronger as your windows begun to ruttle. ‘You will pay for this!’
‘Ben, no!’ You heard another voice yell. You let out a groan, fluttering your eyes open as a full-blown headache consumed you. You got up from your bed, holding your head as you let out a cry. You felt darkness consuming your body, filling your veins.
‘Ben does not exist. He is weak, a young boy clinging on love,’ you heard Ben speak. Your hand went to your mouth as you realised what was happening. The darkness that Ben had warned you about was starting to consume him. The one moment you weren’t there for him, he had invited darkness.
‘I am Kylo Ren.’
You then heard yells from outside. Running over to your window, you let out a cry as you see the temple on fire. The crackling sound was louder than the strong gust of wind. You gulped, knowing the person who started this fire.
Your hands trembled as you grabbed your lightsaber, ready to do what was necessary. Not because you were a Jedi, but because this was something only you could do.
Grabbing your cloak, you then ran over to the the temple, the heat of the fire getting hotter and hotter. You breathed in the smoke, before lifting your arms and slowly bringing it down, allowing the fire to simmer before completely evaporating. You then swallowed the nerves stuck in your throat, a tear rolling down your face as you realised what had enfolded.
Walking around the temple, sadness consumed you as you realised how little was left of this place, how there was nothing. You then let out a cry as you see 10 of the Padawans and Jedi members who had come back from Luke’s mission. They were now just blackened skeletons lying on the floor. One in particular was your friend Leirra, whose necklace was still around her neck. You sobbed as you unclipped her necklace, placing it in your pocket.
“I see you’re finally here,” you heard the now Kylo Ren speak. You let out a cry slowly standing up as you felt like your legs were about to give up on you. “I was going to kill Almec, but he ran away just in time. But now that I’ve killed all the Jedi, he can live out the rest of his days in regret before I eventually kill him.”
You stopped crying, a looking of nothingness on your face. You then turned around, looking at him. “Are you really gone, Ben Solo?”
“I killed that bird,” Kylo spoke, his face showing no remorse. “I’ve never been Ben. I’ve always been Kylo. I was showed the true power of the force. But I can show you, Y/N. I can show you the force. And together, we could rule the Galaxy.”
“You really aren’t Ben Solo if you thought I’d say yes to that,” you coldly spoke. Kylo looked slightly upset but quickly masked it. You then turned on your lightsaber, the mechanical hum coming to life. The white light of your saber illuminated your face and Kylo knew from the expression on your face that you weren’t coming back to him anytime soon.
“Would you really kill me, my Sun?” Kylo spat out the nickname he had for you bitterly as he took a step forward, challenging you.
“For the Jedi?” You spoke, thinking of all the people Kylo killed, including your friend Leirra. You took a step forward, pointing your lightsaber towards his neck. “Without question.”
Kylo pulled out his blue lightsaber, waiting for you to attack. You let out a war cry, running towards him. He quickly dogged you before swinging his lightsaber at your figure. You quickly slid down, avoiding the pulsing light by a millimeter.
You then swung your lightsaber the same time he did, your lightsabers letting out a loud hum as they made in contact with each other. You both looked each other in the eye as you tried to overpower each other. You felt the darkness within him, but you also felt his loneliness, his slight regret yet knowing it was too late to go back.
Eventually he overpowered you, pushing you towards the floor. Your lightsaber fell out of your hands as you tried to crawl away from Kylo who stopped you by using the force. You looked at him, now scared. Kylo had seen how afraid you were and for a slight secound, his face fell. He knew it. He knew you were scared of him. You were scared of him like everyone else was.
“Master Luke was right,” Kylo spoke, his lightsaber now millimeters away from your neck. “I did go too easy on you.”
Kylo breathed in, trying to do what he was told to do, what he was destined to do. The look of fear of him only delayed that so he looked away from you. When he finally breathed out, he swung the lightsaber back but hesitated.
And in that slight hesitation, Master Luke had swooped in, using the force to push Kylo away. He then faced you urgently, a look of seriousness in his face. “Run!”
“No, we can still save him!” You told him, as you saw Kylo get up, rubbing his head groaning.
“You cannot save him!” Luke yelled at you, his eyes wide in fury at your lack of cooperation. “Now run!”
You looked at Kylo one final time. The final time you’ll see him for years to come. His eyes made his way towards you. And the face you had made would be engrained in his face for eternity; the face of betrayal.
You turned around, before quickly bolting. You knew that Luke had a spaceship, so you’d get it in and get the hell away from the island. You will leave this island, forget about being a Jedi, about falling in love with Ben Solo. You will forget him. You have to forget him. You will leave this island and never look back. Because you could never go back to how things used to be. You could not save him.
(Reunited with long lost lover Ben solo but he’s not the same anymore) song inspired one shot, came to me pretty randomly
TW Sad, depressive, no love just sad feels
××××
“Well you look like yourself
But you’re somebody else
Only it ain’t on the surface
Well you talk like yourself
No, I hear someone else though
Now you’re making me nervous”
She couldn’t help but stare into the black abyss of his eyes, his eyes that once shone beautiful honey hazel and spread warmth when he glanced at her, even for a second.
Eyes she’d stared into a thousand times, in sunny fields and under cotton sheets.
Gazing up at the man she once knew, more than she knew herself. His face was stone-like and his heart held no love, just empty hatred.
She loathed the way the darkness clings to him, drowning him the way his threatening glare drowned her.
“You were the better part
Of every bit of beating heart that I had
Whatever I had
I finally sat alone
Pitch black flesh and bone
Couldn’t believe that you were gone”
“Ben solo”
The words felt ghostly on her lips and his eyes shone with a a darkened rage she’d never been victim to before, his knuckles white and clenched at his sides, the way his jaw tensed, staring through her soul with more menace than she could ever handle, coming from him.
“Don’t!”
Even his voice was hardly his anymore, he spoke like a rabid animal, eyes wild as he leered at the girl, daring her to do something, anything to ignite the temper lurking under his skin, so he could ignite the crackling red sabre that burned at his side, itching to be reached for.
The tears fell from her freely and the ache residing in her chest was almost consuming, swallowing her soul where she stood.
Mind reeling with a thousand different things, yet her eyes couldn’t leave his, not for a second.
His face was almost the same, but the scar that marked his heavenly alabaster skin was just another reminder of the harrowing man he’d now become.
She felt the way her body fell, but her mind couldn’t, wouldn’t, register the pain of her knees that thudded against the hard floor.
“You were dead… not… not this… this isn’t you… I…-”
Words couldn’t ever comprehend the betrayal, the agony behind her heart as she stared at her once lover… her only lover.
“Ben Solo is dead.”
Venomously he spat at her, glaring her down as she sank even lower to the ground.
Despite the sniffle in her voice, the tears that ran down her face she muttered harshly
Series Summary: You had never thought that you would ever find someone you wanted to love for the rest of your life, then you practically fell into his arms.
Chapter Summary: Your date with Kylo doesn’t go too well and he feels really bad about that.
Warnings: Mentions of the reader being cheated on and abused in a past relationship and Kylo accidentally makes the reader cry
Once arriving at the fancy restaurant Kylo had picked out, the two of you were led to your table. You kept your shaking hands hidden behind your back the whole walk there, not wanting your nervousness to be too visible.
You were seated in a very secluded area of the restaurant that took walking down a long hallway to get to. This room was dimly lit and there was only one other couple in there.
The second you arrived at your table and the hostess had set down your menu’s, Kylo quickly pulled out your chair for you, making you smile at him while he then pushed the chair back in.
You smile again when Kylo sits down and his eyes meet your own, he smiled back and sent you a quick wink as he could see your waiter coming down the hallway that lead to the room you two were in.
“I’m Fin, I’ll be your waiter tonight. What can I get started for you two?” the waiter said as he started to stand in front of the table and set down the two glasses of water he brought with him down, quickly taking out his notepad and pen just moments later.
You ordered your favorite drink and Kylo ordered the most expensive whisky the restaurant had in stock like he didn’t care about expensive it could end up being.
And once the waiter left to retrieve your drinks, Kylo decided that this would be a good time to ask you some questions about yourself to get to know you better.
“So, what do you do for a living?” he asked you after he took a slow sip of his water, his dark gaze never leaving your face.
You smiled at his interest in you, “I’m a journalist and you?” you answered, still kindly smiling at him.
Kylo hesitated for a moment before he finally answered your question, “I own a few businesses.” he told you, hoping that you wouldn’t pry for more answers about what he did for a living.
You simply nodded in response prior to you taking a sip of your own water, causing you to notice that your hands had finally stopped shaking for the second time tonight.
Some air quietly exited your lungs and you let your back rest against your chair when your waiter had come back to your table, now holding the drinks you two had ordered less than ten minutes ago.
And once he was gone again to deliver to your orders to one of the chefs, Kylo asked you some more questions about yourself. You were truly fascinating to him and you thought the same of Kylo.
“Where did you grow up?” he asked, slowly reaching out to hold your hand over the table, you accepted his soft touch.
You began to rub your thumb along the back of his large hand as you started to speak again, your actions comforting you both greatly. Kylo now felt himself starting to feel more comfortable around you.
“Connecticut, I lived there my whole life until I started college. How about you? Where did you grow up?” you answered, still holding Kylo’s hand in yours in a comforting manner.
He hesitated again before he spoke and you noticed this, making you feel a bit concerned but you assured yourself that he was probably feeling nervous during this date as well.
“I’m from New York, although I have considered moving away from this city several times.” he told you with an awkward laugh.
“How old are you?” he promptly asked.
“25, and you?” you answered.
“30.” he simply said in response.
Not wanting to make him feel worse, you began to silently comfort Kylo once again and then brought up another topic you two could use to get to know more about each other.
———————————
The two of you continued to get to know each other and talk even as the waiter came back with the meals you had ordered. Talking came so easily when you were around Kylo. He never made you feel ashamed or nervous to tell him anything.
A little while after the waiter had disappeared once more after delivering your meals, Kylo started to ask you about your dating past. You were currently on a date with him after all.
“Have you ever been in a long-term relationship before?” he kindly asked you, his eyes still locked on yours even as he ate.
This question caused you to grow quiet and your smile to leave your face as you set down the fork you were using. Tears had quickly started to pool in your eyes as you then removed the napkin from your lap and set it on the table next to your almost empty plate.
You then looked at him once as tears started to fall down your face then speedily walked out of the restaurant with your head down. You wanted to avoid the possibility of anyone seeing you cry.
Kylo’s question had reminded of you your last long-term relationship, which was somewhat towards the end of college. Kylo had accidentally reminded you of your ex who ended up cheating on you then later verbally abused you.
Kylo felt horrible for making you cry, he didn’t mean to make you upset and he wanted you to know this. So, he put a random high amount of cash on the table to pay for the meal then left the restaurant as well.
Once exiting the restaurant, he found you leaning against a nearby wall as you attempted to discreetly cry without anyone seeing or hearing you.
He then slowly approached you and lightly rested his hand on your shoulder that was now covered by a jacket you had brought with you, causing your sad eyes to look up into his as he began to frown.
“I’m so sorry, dove. It was not my intention to make you cry, I promise.” he told you, his hand slowly shifting to one of your cheeks to make sure that your eyes stayed on his.
“Just take me home, please. I’ll explain everything in the car.” you quietly told him as you wrapped your arms around yourself, letting him wipe your tears away even though the makeup you were wearing transferred onto his hand.
Kylo then softly took your hand in his again and you let him lead the way back to his car, tears still falling down your face as you walked, the moonlight making them more obvious.
Once reaching the car for the second time that evening, Kylo gave you a gentle kiss on the back of your hand before he closed the passenger side door and walked over to the drivers side of the car.
You were quiet for the first few minutes of the drive, but eventually you got the confidence to tell Kylo the truth about tonight, about why such a simple question made you cry.
“When I was in my junior year of college, my boyfriend at the time began to be verbally abusive after a girl from a nearby sorority told me that my boyfriend had cheated on me several times with some of the girls in that sorority.” you paused for a moment to let out a shaky breath and as way to silently tell you to keep going, Kylo took your hand in his again and started to comfort you like you had comforted him earlier.
You took a deep breath before continuing on with your story, “And when I confronted him about it, he had thrown all sorts of insults my way and made me like it was my fault he had cheated on me. And though I knew that I should’ve left him then, I didn’t because he was all I had at that point in time. For the next year after that, he continued to abuse me and cheat on me and I didn’t actually leave him until graduation because I knew he’d be going back to his hometown.” you made known, letting out another shaky breath once you had finished your story.
Kylo felt tears well up in his own eyes as he listened to what you had to say. The fact that someone you loved and trusted had treated you like this made him feel incredibly angry and sad. You didn’t deserve that kind of pain whatsoever.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, (y/n). You deserve so much better than what that man gave you and again, I’m sorry for reminding you of him.” he said as he looked over into your eyes, those pesky tears never actually leaving his eyes.
You pressed the back of his hand against your cheek and you met his gaze and responded to him, “It’s alright, Kylo, it’s not your fault. I forgive you.” you told him as your tears dried up, a smile on your face instead of a frown.
Kylo then pressed a quick kiss to your cheek and put his brown eyes back on the dark narrow roads ahead of him.
———————————
After Kylo parked his car in front of your apartment building, he kept you close to his side as he walked you home. And as you walked, he couldn’t help but pay attention to how red your cheeks and eyes still were.
He continued to feel absolutely horrible for making you cry tonight, even if it was on accident.
You slowly let go of Kylo’s hand as you got closer to your front door so that you could grab your keys from your purse and unlock it.
“Goodnight.” you quietly tell Kylo, still not facing him as you feared you would start crying again if you did.
And just as you were about to walk into the safety of your cozy home, Kylo quickly grabbed your wrist in his hand and spun you around so that you had no choice but to look at him.
He started to hold your pretty face in both of his hands and pointed your face up slightly. He placed a very light kiss to the tip of your nose then spoke again.
“Let me make it up to you. How about the two of us have a picnic in a park I own tomorrow afternoon?” he anxiously proposed to you, reminding you of how the weekend would be starting the following day.
“Okay.” you whispered in response with the nod of your head, just wanting to be truly alone in your home in this moment.
Kylo pressed another quick kiss to your forehead and disappeared just as quickly as he had the day you bumped into him.
Series Summary: You had never thought that you would ever find someone you wanted to love for the rest of your life, then you practically fell into his arms.
Chapter Summary: You and Kylo prepare for your first date.
Warnings: One curse word but that’s it lol
Kylo stared at his reflection in the tall full length mirror in front of him as he put a pitch black blazer on over the dark grey dress shirt he had picked out. He chose these colors because he wanted you to smile and remember the day you two first met when you saw the similar looking shirt and blazer he was wearing.
He then buttoned the sleeves on his blazer and headed to his expensive looking bathroom, dark granite surrounding him, making him look like some sort of god as the light bounced off of his jaw and cheekbones.
Kylo stared at himself again as he brushed out his hair, making sure to run a moisturizing hair serum through the ends of his hair, which added a subtle shine to his hair. And once his hair looked perfect in his eyes, he brushed his teeth and applied a specific cologne that he thought you would like.
He thought you would like the cologne he had put on because it wasn’t too overwhelming but instead enchanting and comforting, like you.
And as Kylo continued to get ready, all he could think about was how it would be to see you in person again instead of just talking to you through text or over a phone call. He wanted to see how your face reacted to the things he would say to you.
He didn’t know how the rest of the night would play out. But there were two things that he was absolutely confident about, one, he would make sure that tonight would go perfect as his abilities would allow and two, he was going to hide his involvement in the mafia from you for as long as possible.
All he wanted besides you was to keep you safe and he knew that he had to hide his involvement because he couldn’t risk his enemies getting their hands on you. He couldn’t risk you getting hurt if they found out about you and him.
But if ever came down to that, he would protect you with his life.
————————————————————
The second Kylo finished getting ready, he hopped in his sleek all black car and basically sped over to your apartment building, not wanting to risk being late just because he got caught up in his thoughts.
And just to his luck, your apartment was only twenty minutes away from his house. But as a result of his speeding, he made it there in only ten minutes.
In this moment he was glad that he had frightened the police enough to the point where they would no longer go after an intimidating looking car with the name ‘Ren’ on the license plates.
Once he exited his car, he quickly fixed his hair using the reflection on the hood of his car then began to jog up the stairs that led to your small apartment.
——————————————
As for you, you were still quickly getting ready, your heart pounding in your chest as you watched the clock get closer and closer to the time Kylo promised to show up by.
You were excited to see him again and actually talk to him in person but that still didn’t dissolve how nervous you felt at the same time. You just wanted him to like you.
But little did you know, you’d never have to worry about that because he was already head over heals in love with you. The only thing he felt for you was love and he hoped that this feeling would never fade.
You were wearing a long black dress that had a somewhat long slit over your right leg. You were wearing black eyeliner paired with a bright red lipstick.
And as you stared at yourself in your own mirror, you slowly took deep breaths in a desperate attempt to stop your hands from shaking so that you could put your earrings in.
Luckily for you, for times sake, they finally stopped shaking a couple minutes later and you were able to successfully put them in without accidentally poking yourself.
You then ran into your closet and slipped on your favorite pair of heals. They were your favorite as they made you nearly five inches taller than you normally were and always added a bit more confidence to your walk.
——————————————
Your heart almost stopped in your chest when you heard Kylo knock upon your front door. So, you quickly grabbed your purse, made sure you hadn’t accidentally messed up your makeup and then headed over to the door.
You went as fast as your tall heals would allow you, not wanting to make Kylo wait too long for you.
And as you opened the front door, your purse resting against your side, Kylo’s breath hitched in his throat and his eyes widened at the sight of you. You looked so gorgeous, angelic even and you quite literally took Kylo’s breath away.
He didn’t know what to say, so he just spoke from the heart the best he could in this moment.
“You look so beautiful, dove.” he told you as he softly took one of your hands into his, his eyes never leaving you.
He lets go of your hand a second later whilst he watches how his words made you smile and blush as red as the lipstick you were wearing, “Thank you, Kylo.” you paused for a moment then met his eyes, “You look very handsome.” you told him, another smile on your face.
He accepted your compliment as his own cheeks blushed and he offered you his hand again, you took it in yours immediately. 
You then pulled away from him slightly to close and lock your front door before letting Kylo lead you back to his expensive car. And as you two walked back to his car, you smiled up at him again and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand, leaving another reminder of you on his body.
And as he watched you do that, he eyes seemed to sparkle while he stared at you, simultaneously smiling at you as he felt himself fall more in love with you. You were everything he had and would ever want and he wasn’t going to let you go.
——————————————
During the whole drive to the restaurant Kylo was taking you to tonight for your date, Kylo kept letting his brown eyes drift over to you. You were his dove and he never wanted to look away from you, even while he was driving.
“You should put your eyes back on the road, dove.” you jokingly said with a laugh, teasing him by using the sweet nickname he had for you.
And to your surprise, he laughed at your shitty joke. His smile was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, apart from him. It seemed to light up the whole car and now you were the one who couldn’t stop staring once Kylo had put his eyes back on the road.
Kylo felt similarly about your own laugh and smile. Your laugh was like a pretty symphony to his deprived ears, he wanted to hear your laugh and see you smile for the rest of time.
Series Summary: You had never thought that you would ever find someone you wanted to love for the rest of your life, then you practically fell into his arms.
Chapter Summary: You and Kylo become a bit more familiar with each other.
Warnings:Like one curse word but that’s it
As you began to run to work once more this morning, you finally realized what happened to you when you and Kylo’s eyes first met. You had fallen in love with this man at first sight.
Prior to this morning, you thought that love at first sight moments were bullshit and fake. But now that you had bumped into Kylo and fallen into his strong arms, your perspective had been changed completely.
You now believed in the idea of ‘love at first sight’ because you had experienced it first hand and it was nothing like anything you had ever experienced before.
You never wanted to let Kylo go now that you had him, loosely in your comforting grasp.
And as you continued to run to work, you wondered if you over thinking all of this. You wondered if you were already too attached this man as you hadn’t even had a proper conversation yet.
But you quickly shook these thoughts away as the building your worked in came into view. You worked at The Mustafar Times and was just starting the second half of your first year with the successful company. You were still surprised that they had even hired you in the first place.
Everything that happened to you today felt like a dream and you didn’t know what to think or feel whatsoever. You were already beginning to grow lost into the pit of quicksand that was Kylo Ren. But you weren’t complaining at all.
You wanted to love this man, not caring how weird all of this may seem from an outsiders perspective.
———————————
Once arriving on the floor you worked in within the tall building, you nervously walked over to your bosses dark and gloomy office.
“Mr. Hux?” you softly said as you knocked onto the door to his office that was open just a few inches.
“Come in.” he coldly replied, not looking up from whatever he was working on, not even for a second.
You started to speak again once he had invited you into his office, “I apologize for being so late this morning, sir. I accidentally woke up la-.”
Your boss interrupted you as he held up his index finger to silence you, “Just get to work, Mrs. (y/l/n).” he said, still not looking up at you.
You then nodded in response though you knew he wouldn’t see your response and put the door back in the position you found it in prior to going in there to talk to Mr. Hux.
From your point of view, he was just a small man hungry for money and power. But you were still grateful for the fact that he had hired you at the most successful newspaper in all of New York.
So as a compromise with yourself, you kept your mouth shut and pretended to like him so that you wouldn’t have to worry about ever loosing your job, knowing you wouldn’t be able to afford to rent your apartment anymore if you were unemployed.
You sat down in your cubicle minutes later and then pulled out your phone as well as the business card Kylo had given you so that you could introduce yourself to him. And before you even turned your phone on, you peered over your shoulder to make sure that Mr. Hux was still distracted by his work, which he was.
You then typed Kylo’s number into your contacts and sent him a friendly sounding text.
You:
Hi! I’m (y/n), the woman who accidentally bumped into you earlier this morning. :) Sorry I got lipstick on your shirt by the way.
He responded almost right away, his heart pounding in his chest as he speedily re-read the text you had sent a few times before he responded.
Kylo Ren:
It’s alright, (y/n), don’t worry about it. It’s nice to formally meet you.
What he had said caused butterflies to appear in your stomach once again even though they were simply just words on a phone screen.
You:
Hopefully the lipstick will come off easily in the wash. And it’s nice to meet you too, I hope that I’ll bump into you again sometime soon. ;)
God, you were horrible at flirting and you hoped that Kylo understood the message you were trying to get across. Which he did, he thought that your attempt at flirting with him was cute and only made him start to like you even more then he already did.
Kylo Ren:
Again, don’t worry about it, dove. It’s okay, I promise.
His nickname for you made heat sprint your to cheeks, the areas of skin now a light pink while you smiled to yourself.
He sent another text just seconds later, making you feel more excited because of how quickly he was responding to you. You craved this kind of attention from a man like him.
Kylo Ren:
Let me take you out to one of my favorite  restaurants in the city tomorrow night, I’ll pick you up at 6:30pm. Dress formally.
You had to admit, you liked how straight forward he was with you. You liked that you didn’t have to beat around the bush when speaking to the handsome man.
You:
That works, I’ll see you then, Kylo. ;)
You then sent him the address to your apartment and shut your phone off, carefully slipping his business card back into your bag. And as much as you’d like to continue to talk to Kylo, you knew that your boss would catch you in the act eventually.
And as your fingers got settled on your somewhat old keyboard and you turned your computer on, your close work friend, Rey, startles you a bit by popping up and leaning on the barrier that separated your cubicle from hers.
You let out a noise of surprise as she began to pester you about the person you were texting as well as your tardiness this morning.
“Soo, who were you talking to?” she asked you, poking your arm as she talked to you, a grin on her face.
“No one.” you quickly said as you looked up at her with a nervous look in your eyes, her mind waiting for any possible gossip.
Rey then gave you a knowing look and settled back down into her seat, leaving you alone to process every single thing that had happened to you this particular morning on your own.
Series Summary: You had never thought that you would ever find someone you wanted to love for the rest of your life, then you practically fell into his arms.
Chapter Summary: You and Kylo accidentally meet for the first time on your way to work one morning.
Warnings:None :)
Thanks to your somewhat weird sleep schedule, you ended up waking up an hour later than you normally did every morning. You decided to skip breakfast today as you quickly packed yourself lunch and anything else you would need to have with you at work today.
You then speedily got dressed, not really looking at yourself but still hoping that your boss, Mr. Hux wouldn’t be upset about your tardiness and that you would look at least somewhat decent.
And once you were completely ready for the day ahead, you quickly locked the door to your apartment and ran down the old concrete stairs outside of your tall apartment building.
Your heart was racing as you began to run down the sidewalk, tightly holding your tote bag at your side. You absolutely hated being late to anything and you hoped that this wouldn’t reflect badly on you. Especially because your still in the beginning of your hopefully long career as a journalist.
And as you continued to run to work, you began to loose touch with your surroundings, causing locals in the city to yell at you as you accidentally brushed past them at a very quick pace.
While you became closer to the end of this part of the sidewalk, you were looking over your shoulder and apologizing to the business man you had slightly bumped in to, causing him to drop his fancy looking brief case.
Your body then collided with a very tall man’s wide chest, accidentally leaving a light print of the lipstick you had on right next to the pocket on his dark grey button up shirt.
To anyone else that might interact with this man, the lipstick wouldn’t be noticeable at all, but to you it was extremely obvious. This made you feel really guilty as a result, you didn’t want to ruin a strangers clothes.
You both apologize to each other right away as you looked up to meet each other’s gaze.
As you start to back away from this man, the thin heal of your shoe gets caught into a small gap on sidewalk, causing you to drop your bag as you tried to get your shoe free. You then tripped a bit and before you even had the chance to fall onto the ground, this man slid one of his muscular arms under your back and helped you get back up on your feet.
And once you were back on your feet, he bent down briefly to free your heal from the sidewalk, making you smile and blush at this man while he retrieved your bag for you as well.
If you were being honest, he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your whole life and you kind of felt like you fallen in love with him the second his eyes had met yours just minutes ago.
He could feel your deep gaze on him as he did those two things for you, but he didn’t mind it and used this chance to slip his business card into your bag while you were still distracted by his pretty brown eyes.
“Here.” the man says as he kindly hands you your bag, happily smiling back at you.
You thanked him as you started to walk away, but before you could get too far away, this handsome man placed one of his large hands on your clothed shoulder, stopping you in your tracks.
“Call me.” he simply said, a smirk on his face in place of that adorable smile of his.
“Huh?” you quickly responded with furrowed eyebrows, raising one of them for just a second.
He then lifted his hand from your shoulder and pointed to your bag prior to him basically vanishing into thin air after you had looked down.
You looked inside of your bag to see his business card sitting on top of all the things you had quickly packed today. According to the card, his name was Kylo Ren and you weren’t sure why but something about that name made butterflies appear in your stomach.
Whilst Kylo walked away, he couldn’t help but brightly smile to himself at the thought of you. You were soft, kind and beautiful. And up until today he had believed that there was no such thing as ‘love at first sight’. But you easily proved him wrong.
And just as his smile began to fade from his face, he looked down at the mark your lipstick had left on his shirt and just like that he was smiling again, earning confused looks from his Knights while he approached his car.
Initially, Kylo had come to this part of the city to take a walk. He wanted the sounds of the city to fill his head instead of the stressful and burdening thoughts his line of work caused.
If he was being honest with himself, he felt as though he had fallen in love with you the moment your eyes met for the first time. The way your face looked was now engraved in his mind and he liked that, he never wanted to forget you, even if you never ended up calling him.
But Kylo still hoped that you would call him sometime soon as he desperately wanted you to be in his life. Even though he didn’t even know your name yet, he didn’t care about that because you still had him falling for you either way.
He knew you would change his life for the better, that is if you let him into your life and gave him the chance to get to know and love you.
Series Summary: You had never thought that you would ever find someone you wanted to love for the rest of your life, then you practically fell into his arms.
Warning:This fic a modern au. This story is not meant to glamorize/romanticize the mafia/mob or violence. Nor is that my intention. I don’t claim to have have a vast knowledge of mafia/mob life, but I will do my best with the help of research.
The wind whipped around both of you. The air grew colder as you heard the waves washing in. It wasn’t much, but it was home.
“You don’t have to stay here. You don’t have to be a prisoner,” his deep voice cut into your thoughts. Kylo reached for your hand. “You could be more.”
“More?” you questioned. Your time with the warlord had proven to be unusual. Instead of using scare tactics on you, he allowed himself to grow closer with you. You still felt conflicted about your own feelings.
“You could join me,” Kylo’s voice became clearer. He held onto his mask like a crown. It was heavy, but it belonged to him. “We can rule everything together. Say the word, and everything, including me, is yours.”
“everything including me, is yours” and then i said “SIGN ME TF UP SIR”
Life ain’t too easy for a woman, ‘specially not a woman on the run like you. With a bounty on your head and gunpowder in your nose, you’ve grown adjusted to a life of solitude away from the hustle and bustle of civilization. That is, until you meet one particular man who’s got a face you’d only ever seen in your dreams – or on wanted posters. And when he offers you a proposition that sounds too good to be true, well. You don’t think your life will ever be the same again.
The morning light crept through your window and you slowly opened your eyes, sighing contently. For the first time in weeks you felt well rested, all thanks to him.
He was here. He was home. He was safe.
He had been gone for a month this time, one of his longest trips yet. A resistance mission to the outer rim to rescue young slave children, some possibly even force sensitive. It was an overwhelming success for the dwindling Jedi population.
You understood why he often had to leave. Gifts like his could not possibly be wasted, especially when focused on helping others.
Though he would never admit it, you knew in your heart he felt as if he could never right all the wrongs he had committed in the past. He knew that no matter what goodness he fought for, who he rescued, or what sacrifices he made, it would never be enough to redeem him. Yet, he persisted. He would never, ever fall back into his old ways. His darkest days were behind him, and he worked with every piece of his soul for the triumph of goodness in the dark world surrounding you.
He never imagined that dedicating his life to the resistance and fighting for the good of others would lead him straight to you, and you certainly never imagined falling for someone with a past like his. But his still-healing heart was one of gold, and you knew it.
Ever so slowly, as not to disturb his fragile sleep, you rolled onto your side to face him.
Your teammate. Your best friend. Your person.
You had been together for a short while now, yet you still couldn’t help but admire him as he slept. His dark hair partially covered his eyes as his chest slowly rose and fell. Minor cuts and bruises now joined the familiar scars littering his hands and arms. In this state he looked so relaxed, vulnerable, fragile even. Every fiber of his being seemed to be completely at peace. He never let anyone see this side of him when he was awake. Not even you. Not even for a single second.
That peace had been especially sparse lately. Though he felt further and further from the sith with every passing day, there were still periods when his demons took hold of him for days at a time. He would lay in bed blankly staring at the wall, sometimes attempting to meditate to keep the nightmares at bay, too afraid to move for fear he would hurt someone. He wouldn’t let you hold him or talk to him. No solution, no help, no amount of trying to get through to him, nothing could break him out.
You knew it had nothing to do with you and everything to do with his own growing and healing, but not being able to hold him through his hardest times took a toll on you. You could sense the loneliness and desperation in his bouts of darkness, but knew he didn’t trust himself to stay in control in those moments. If he ever hurt you in any way, he would never forgive himself. He would let you in on his own time, and you would be there waiting until he was ready.
He was still learning to truly trust again.
So, you settled for admiring from afar, for now. At least until you could fully convince him you were a source of healing, a safe place, that you were in this for the long haul.
And oh, you were. Lord knows, you were.
Today the demons, nightmares, and demands of the world seemed to be far away. He was all yours again, sleeping peacefully. His breathing was deep and even, face relaxed, vulnerable as ever, and in that moment you truly believed there was no way you could love him more.
You took hold of his hand and brought it up to your lips to kiss the new scratches on his knuckles. His eyelids fluttered open, revealing the gorgeous brown you had achingly missed for a month, and you could feel your heart jump just as it did the very first moment you locked eyes.
Your heart sank ever so slightly. Now that he was awake he would surely retreat back into his head, losing the state of peace you so loved to see him in. You figured he would give you a small smile and quickly turn his back to you not out of malice, but out of self-protection.
But, for once, you were wrong.
He did smile, that much you predicted, and oh how you had missed that smile. The way his face scrunched as his lips curved up. However, instead of turning his back to you, he took his hand from yours and ran it along your face, slowly caressing your cheek, seemingly trying to memorize the moment and the many freckles on your skin.
You could still feel the peace and tranquility radiating from him, and you were elated. He was choosing to trust you in this moment, to let you in and allow himself to simply breathe and feel.
His big, beautiful eyes shone in the morning sun, and you couldn’t help but smile back.
He placed a strong hand on your back and pulled you close. He pressed a light but lingering kiss on your forehead as you nuzzled into his thin shirt. You closed your eyes again, holding him tight and savoring the moment, knowing it was fleeting and the demons were bound to eventually return.
“I missed you.” He whispered into your hair.
You smiled into his strong chest. Demons be damned. In this moment, this man was yours, and you were undoubtedly his.
“Welcome home, Ben.”
—-
A/N:Hi! I’m new here. I’ve never put any of my writing out into the world like this before. Feel free to roast me, I would embrace it! Questions? Comments? Concerns? Please leave them here or on AO3! (wave0fg00dvibes)
