#spiderman headcanon
Because Marvel refuses to allow any of its’ twists to have longterm consequences within the MCU, it’s pretty obvious they’re going to find a way to cover-up/explain away Mysterio revealing Peter’s true identity with some dumb plot device. And I’ve seen some great fan theories and concepts (like Matt Murdock being hired to represent Peter in court) but I’d like to present something much more ridiculous and dare I say realistic.
Spider-Man is proved to not be Peter Parker through the meticulous data collection and evidence provided by an incredibly popular Spider-Man fan blog, that is anonymously run by someone who proves they’re a classmate of Peter Parker and proves that Peter was in places that Spider-Man was at the same time. Class pictures with timestamps, opera tickets, school event dates, all of which Peter was accounted as present for. Along with the evidence, the blog makes some damningly good arguments about how Peter Parker was only chosen out of convenience. The blog scrounges up documentation of Quentin Beck working for Tony Stark and being fired and then argues how Peter Parker is an intern of Stark Industries and Quentin Beck only used Peter as a last-ditch attempt to hurt the late Tony Stark, by accusing an intern who happened to be in the same areas of Spider-Man sightings.
The evidence and arguments are so meticulously complied, that everyone sees it as concrete proof and the name of Peter Parker fades back into obscurity. Peter is relieved to have his regular double life back, and everything goes back to normal.
The blog, of course, belongs to fucking Flash Thompson who absolutely REFUSES to believe Peter could be his idol, so in his denial, he went apeshit trying to prove it wrong and documented all of his findings on his blog. However, he’s never able to fully convince himself that Peter isn’t Spider-Man, and continues to creep on Peter 24/7 trying to figure out the truth.
Loki (whispering to Peter Parker): Good job on the mission today Spiderling.
Peter (whispering back): Thank you Mr Loki. Why are we whispering?
Loki (still whispering): I want Thor to think we’re conspiring against him. Please look at him when you reply.
Peter (looking at Thor): This is realy funny Mr Loki.
Loki (also looking at Thor): I’m glad you agree.
Thor, sweating in fear: What are they talking about?
Tony, who overheard them but doesn’t want to ruin their fun:Stabbing
{Thor proceeds to yeet himself out the nearest window, the last sound he heard was Loki’s hysterical laughter}
Peter Parker (holding picture of Loki): Have you seen Mr Loki?
Thor: Did he dissappear with the Tesseract again !?
Peter Parker: Oh no he’s fine, he’s reading over there on the sofa, but I just want people to look at him. Isn’t he awesome? :D
Loki:
Peter Parker: Mr Loki are you ok?
Loki, failing to wipe away his happy tears: I-I’m fine
{Loki, Peter Parker and Tony on an Undercover Mission}
Tony (through coms): I need you two to argue and pretend to hate each other until they leave.
Peter Parker (through coms):What?
Loki (through coms):Why?
Tony (through coms): Do it, it’s for a distraction.
Peter Parker (to Loki):You are too awesome and smart! It’s frustrating!
Loki:Me?! You are the- You are the most adorable child in the world!
Peter Parker :*pouts*
Tony on a sigh (through coms): Why… why did that offend him?
Loki (through coms): I usually say ‘in the universe’.
Loki’s Sentiment to Peter Parker
{Peter gets injured during a battle and falls into an unawakable coma and Loki feels guilty because he was the indirect cause of it. Peter wakes up in the end.}
_________________________________________
As Loki walks into the the hospital room Peter was sleeping in, his blood nearly froze cold at the sight of Peter Parker’s sleeping and marred face.
Sentiment was not Loki’s forte, but seeing his friend in such a state has awoken rare emotions that he thought his heart was no longer capable of feeling anymore. Emotions he only reserved and last felt when he realised he was the indirect cause of his mother’s death.
Slowly he approaches the bed and stands next to the young boy’s face, as he builds up the courage to say what was needed.
Loki: “I will not ask your forgiveness, because what I have done to you is unforgivable.
I was so lost in hatred and revenge that I have caused harm to you. (Loki’s calm demeanour starts to break)
Sweet Spiderchild, you stole what was left of my cold dead heart. (tears start falling from Loki’s eyes)
And now I have lost you forever. (Loki caresses Peter’s bruised forehead)
I swear, no harm will come to you as long as I live. (Loki’s voice starts to crack)
And not a day shall pass that I don’t miss your sweet smile. (Loki’s feels his heart breaking as he only hears deafening silence instead of Peter’s excited voice) Goodbye little Spiderling.”
Having said what he needed to say Loki places a soft farewell kiss on Peter’s forhead. Just as he turns to walks away, Loki hears a soft voice calling him from the bed.
Peter: “Hello, Mr Loki”
Frozen, Loki turns back. He saw Peter eyes open and alive, a happy smile gracing his lips as his eyes made contact with Loki’s. The sight was almost too much for Loki to handle.
Loki: “Hello Peter”
No other words are needed to be said as they both shared a heart warming embrace, this time with tears of happiness being shed.
________________________________________
Notes: Watching, Maleficent (2014), I picture Loki and Peter Parker’s relationship is similar to Maleficent and Aurora.
Loki Gives Peter Parker a Makeover
{Peter thinks that Loki is the most fashionable person he knows goes to him for advice on what to wear to an Avengers formal party. Loki being a diva went overboard and the Avengers ended up wondering how on earth did Peter end up looking like a mini version of Loki.}_________________________________________
Bonus: {At the Party}
Random Jerk (to Peter): Why are you dressed like that?
Peter(innocently): Like what?
Random Jerk: Like your going to a funeral. Why are you dressed like some one died?
Loki(the one who helped dressed Peter):Wait
Loki and Peter Parker’s Trip to the Carnival
{Peter tries to knock over a space ship in a carnival booth to win a prize but fails because the game is rigged}
Loki: What was that? He hit that ship. I saw it with my own eyes.
Jerk Vendor: Let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it’s not knocked over? Do you know what that means, wizard-man? It means you don’t get the prize!
Loki (seething): Okay, my turn.
{Loki charges up his scepter into a giant canon and blasts the booth to oblivion}
Loki: Knocked over!
{Loki hands Peter the stuffed bear he won for him}
Peter: Oh my gosh Mr Loki that was so awesome! You were all green and glowing and blew the whole the thing up!
Loki(smug, ruffles Peter’s hair): Come on little Spiderling, let’s go destroy all the blasted cheating games in this carnival!
Peter: Yeah! Woo Hoo! Let’s go!
{And that’s why the Avengers never allowed Peter and Loki to go to the carnival without Thor ever again}
{Loki pauses violently beating up the assassins who tried to hurt Peter}
Loki(holding out his knife to Peter): I’m sorry little Spiderling, would you like to have a stab at them? :)
Peter: No, I’m good Mr Loki thank you. :)
{Loki battle crying proceeds to beat the ever loving tar out of the assassins while their screams of agony echo in the background}
Loki: I’m so angry at you right now. Nothing will make me feel better.
Thor:
Loki:Don’t
Thor: Spiderling come here
Peter: Hi Mr Loki! :D
Loki, trying to hide his smile:Darn
Peter: Mr Loki I need your help!
Loki: What is ever the matter Spiderling?
Peter: Listen, I…I need a good lie.
Loki: Hm… How about feedom. (Peter looks confused) Freedom is life’s great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart, you will know…
Peter: No..nonono…I need a good lie to explain why I wasn’t at the decathlon meeting today.
Loki: Spiderling your a terrible liar.
Peter: Wha? No I’m not!
Loki: Oh really? Let me ask you something. Yesterday at the cafe we went to, I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it?
Peter: …Somebody opened the door…to the cafe … And a … Raccoon, came running in and went straight for your muffin I said “Hey! Don’t eat that! That’s Mr Loki’s!” and he said …….. He said “Peter, you stink at lying”. What am I going to do?
Loki(trying not to laugh): Don’t fret, Spiderling. We’ll come up with a good lie. I’ll even help you practice it.
Peter: Oh that’d be great. Thank you Mr Loki.
Peter Parker: Mr. Loki can you hit him with your knife?
Loki: …I believe the correct term is stab.
Loki Explaining His Friendship with Peter Parker to the Avengers
Loki: Thor, I didn’t understand why you cared so much about these dumb Midgardians until I befriend a Midgardian myself
Loki:(Picks up Peter and holds him close to his chest)
Peter::D
Loki: I’ve only known Peter Parker for a day and a half (takes out knife and waves it threatingly) BUT IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO HIM I WOULD KILL EVERYONE IN THIS REALM AND THEN MYSELF
Peter:O_O
Other Avengers:Same
Loki Teaching Peter Parker How to Drive
Loki: You’re doing great Spiderling.
Peter Parker, worried: I think I just ran over Mr Thor.
Loki: Consider it a lesson in humility for him.
Loki: Let’s keep driving.
Loki:*smashes a window* Vandalism is wrong Peter.
Peter Parker:Okay.
Peter Parker: I’ll go with you, Mr Loki.
Loki: Spiderling no, I can’t risk anyone I care about getting hurt.
Thor: I’ll go.
Loki:Okay.
Loki After Joining the Avengers
Loki: I think I’m getting better at this! I didn’t even stab that mortal!
Peter Parker, exited for Loki: Yeah, that was so awesome Mr Loki! We’re so proud of you!
Loki, smug: No Stabbing Tuesdays, a new tradition!
Peter Parker: Yeah! Woo Hoo! :D (high fives Loki)
_________________________________________
Tony:… Should I be happy they’re getting along or concerned?
Thor:Both
Loki: *laying face-down on the bed*
Peter Parker: Hey Mr Loki, are you okay?
Loki: *muffled* I just need a bit of a break from everything…
Loki: Including existing
Peter Parker: Alright, if that’s what you want.
Peter Parker: *plops face-down on the sofa next to Loki’s bed*
Loki: *looks up in confusion* What are you doing?
Peter Parker: *looks up at Loki* I’m taking a break from existing with you :)
Loki: *smiling softly* Thank you Spiderling :)
[Both of them lay face down in silence until Loki feels better]
Peter Parker:*whimpering*
Loki: What happened!? Who did this to you!?
Peter Parker: Oh it’s nothing, Mr Loki. I just stubbed my toe on the door-
Loki: *already has a chainsaw* Which door?
Peter Parker, walking with Loki at the zoo: Let’s do something fun together, Mr Loki!
Loki, smiling: Very well, lead the way.
Peter Parker : Oh! How about we make some balloon animals?
Loki: Alright, but aren’t you scared of balloons?
Peter Parker : Pfft…no.Why would I be scared of balloons? I’ve fought villains who tried to kill me. These are nothing.
Peter Parker : *tries to tie balloon*
Peter Parker : *balloon pops*
Peter Parker : *unholy screaming*
Peter Parker : *clutches Loki’s arm*
Loki:
Loki, patting Peter on the head comfortingly: Let’s go look at the snakes.
[Loki ended up burning down the balloon stall while Peter was not looking]
Peter Parker: You believe me?
Loki: Spiderling, you’re the last and only good person on this planet. I’d believe you if you said cartoon birds braided your hair this morning.
