#rwby shitpost

LIVE

redheartedtramp:

Ruby:*walking along*

Penny:*approaches*

Ruby: Oh, hi Pen-

Penny has suddenly grabbed Ruby’s wrists and pinned her to the wall!

Ruby: E-eh?! P-Penny, what are you doing?!

Penny: Girlfriend Ruby, I have seen your internet browsing history.

Ruby: EH?!

Penny: And according to you history, and those black-and-white comics, you find this position to be very romantic.

Ruby: WAIT, PENNY! THOSE AREN’T NORMAL COMI-

Penny has suddenly started making out with Ruby. She feels Penny’s leg spread both of hers open and her knees roughly grind against Ruby’s crotch, making the scythe swinger moan into Penny’s mouth and melt in her hand.

Ruby:*kiss breaks* N-nevermind, d-do more of this, please…

Peny: Do not worry, Ruby, my friend; I am eechi-ready!

Random Ideas/ Shitpost for Belladonna-Arc

So three things 1.) This is from throwing around ideas on my Discord.

2.) Blake will be living under the Alias Ebony Black and left the White Fang much earlier then in canon and went to Signal becoming Friends with Yang and her little sister Ruby.

3.) His and Weiss’s dynamic will be surprisingly amiable, moreso then in Canon off the back.

Actually ironically Jaune confronts Weiss not to be mean but to formerly apologize to her on behalf of the Old White Fang.

This of course throws the heiress through a loop.

A human, who is a member of the White fang is apologizing to her for the actions of a terrorist group

What the hell is going on?

She even looks around assuming this is some sort of prank

That ‘Punked’ thing that’s all the rage on the the Dustnet

Once she does realize Jaune means it she begins to ask if he thinks a simple apology will matter?

She begins to get angry (rightfully so but unfairly given that Jaune’s done nothing)

She then ask if he simply expects that to make amends for all threats and dangers her and her siblings have had to endure.

Jaune actually says no, he doesn’t expect it to make anything right… But he had to at least do that much. And assure her that he’s not her enemy.

Weiss: Really, and what makes you different then those terrorist then.

Jaune: The difference is that I intend to lock them up… or wipe them out so they stop giving the organization my partners made a bad name. And stop the Faunus in general hated by the four kingdoms

So ironically Jaune and Weiss begin to talk, Weiss being intrigued by Jaune who grew up in Menagerie and is surprised to hear the majority of the Faunus homeland doesn’t support the White Fang.

Weiss then goes as far as to ask why he approached her, Jaune would state it’s to smooth things over with her for his parents sake and to see if the children of Jacques were as narrow minded as their father.

Well at least he knows they aren't… well at least not to the point like their father. They can be narrow minded in some small things but they get better.

He mainly is forgiving towards Weiss’s nature moreso because he believes she’s been influenced like he believed Blake was…

This Jaune is more mature then Vol 1 Jaune

Think his mentality during Volume 7

Kind, understanding and giving off Big brother energy

Anyways, Weiss considered Jaune not a friend but a valuables asset to help her further her chances of maintaining her statues as Heiress and taking over the SDC. And tells him this outright.

Jaune surprisingly doesn’t mind, knowing for her that’s probably a big step. He does say he hopes they can be friends… But to her shock.

She then ask why he has the mark of the White Fang. Surely he understands it’ll isolate him.

He says that if he wants to pull the reputation of the group out from what Adam and the extremist portions have done to it’s name…

This of course speaks to Weiss who wants to clear her families good name from what her fathers done.

Idea 1.) First Night with Jaune

Could that be… No, no way. She wouldn’t have left them… That’s just wishful thinking…

Ruby:Is, is everything okay Jaune?

Jaune: Wha? Y-yeah no, it’s just your friend there… Ebony right.

Blake:Y-yes, what is it?

Jaune: You, you just remind me of someone is all…

Blake: I see…

Jaune:Yeah, but it’s just wishful thinking I guess… 'Heh’ after all she was a Faunus and a bit of a tomboy.

Blake: I… See.

Jaune:Yeah, and kinda moody, plus she never cared about her looks.

Blake:… Okay.

Jaune: And she was stubborn and insistent and always had to be right 'Heh’

Blake:*Eye Twitch*

Jaune:There’s no way she grow up to be a pretty sophisticated woman, especially with what she read…

Blake:

Jaune:And She Just Had The Worst Taste In Men! I swear, it’s like she wanted to draw in battle happy assholes who punch first and think later…

Yang: Why are you staring at me Ebony?

Blake: I… N-no reason…

Oh brothers…

Jaune:So Ebony, are you going out with miss anger management here…

Yang: Wha? We’re jus-

Blake: NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

Jaune:

Yang: Okay, rude…

Blake:I’m, I didn’t mean it like….

Oh Gods! I almost went out with someone else who attacked Jaune again!

Ruby:Hey how did you becomes friends with the prissy princess

Jaune: Huh? Oh miss Schnee, we talked.

Blake:*Blinks*

What!?

Jaune: She’s actually fairly approachable, moreso then the kids my age were back home. Then again they did think I drove my sister away because I was human.

Blake:That's…

Ridiculous… And my fault.

Jaune:Well anyways I hope I can earn her trust.

Yang:She seemed a bit frosty to me, eh, eh?

Jaune:… I think I preferred you attacking me… that was less painful

Yang:Geez, tough crowd, anyways you might wanna be careful big guy, otherwise people might think you have a thing for the princess there.

Blake: Yang, don’t even joke abou-

Jaune:I mean… She’s certainly pretty, if she could work through some of her more… Atlesian views towards others I think she could certainly make a man very happy.

Yang: Oh, you hear that Ebony, looks like we got a love story in the maki-

Blake:Yang… enough.

Yang:Blinks Are, are you mad?

Blake:*Gritting Teeth* No… Not at all.

This Can Not Be Happening!

Yang:I mean, C'mon, Ice Queen has to be letting him talk to her for some reason right?

Blake: Yang… Please stop…

I’m gonna be sick…

Yang: Who knows, maybe she wants a taste of Menagerie, Jaune does seem like a big nice gulp.

Blake:No…

Not while I live and breath!

Idea 2.) Lancaster

Ruby: You Made Those Yourself!?

Jaune:Well yeah, there weren’t a lot of engineers back home so I really had to study hard and learn how to wield… Don’t even get me started on how to make my claws retract from my greaves and gauntlets.

Ruby: But how’d you jump so far! Did you put dust into your greaves to propel you farther!

Jaune:Whoa, got it in one…

Yang: Hey sis, be careful, you remember what dad said about boys. I don’t wanna go and hurt him if he plays with you…

Ruby: Um Yang Jaune can beat you up…

Blake: I don’t think Ruby’s his type…

Ruby:Shows What You Know! We totally alike! We Have All the Same Interest And Junk! We Both Like Weapons, And Comics! And Other Stuff Too!

Blake:

No no no no!

Blake: But, it’s not like you like him… right?

Ruby: I Dunno?

Yang:Ruby!?

Ruby:What!? He’s Got Claws! Yang! Claws! And He’s Built Like A Super Hero! He Even Has The Super Revealing Clothing And The Tragic Backstory!

Blake:Ugh…

I’m the reason for his tragic backstory…

Blake: Your, your not interested in Ruby… Right Jaune?

Jaune:Interested? Of course I am.

Blake:

Jaune:Rubys very interesting, I’ve never met a girl with the same interest as me…

Blake: Oh, thats what you mean.

Jaune: Yeah, she nice, talented and awkward like me.

Blake:I see-

Jaune:She’s the perfect little sister.

Blake:

Jaune:Ebony?

Blake: You, you don’t mean that right?

Jaune:Mean what?

Blake:About Her Being The Perfect Little Sister!?

Jaune:Um, did, did I step on some sorta issues here?

Blake:No!

YES!

Yang:Hey that sounds like a fun idea, hey sis, wanna pretend Jaune here’s your big bro?

Ruby:Yang!

Oh Hell No!

Blake: You Are Not Stealing My Bro- *Claps Hands Over Mouth!*

Idea 3.) Sparring and pervy Hijinks

Yang: 'Pant, pant’

Weiss:Ugh, you stink… Sparring with Jaune again.

Yang:Oh, calling him by his first name Weisscream, somebodies moving fast.

Weiss:*Rolls Eyes*

Blake:'Growls’ Not, funny…

Ruby:Were you with Jaune again?

Blake:Excuse me?

Yang:Yep, was under the big guy for a whole hour Grunts Man me wears me out… How does a guy get that much stamina.

Blake:What!?

Yang:Pinned me down and made me take it again and again.

Blake:I-I…

This can not be happening!

Yang: One Of These Days I’m gonna Be On Top Dammit!

Ruby:'Sigh’Give it up Yang Jaunes too much for you to handle…

Blake:R-Ruby…

D-did she-?

Yang: No Way! Just You Watch! I’m Gonna Make Him Scream One Of These Nights!

So…You’ve been my enemy this whole time Yang…

Yang:I’m gonna beat Jaune one of these days! Just you watch!

Blake:… Beat him?

Yang: Um, yeah… We were sparring?

Blake:Oh, OH! Oooooh…

Yang:What did you think we were doing?

Blake:N-nothing! Nothing at all!

Weiss:Ugh, I swear you two fighting certainly doesn’t look like combat

Ruby:Yeah once you start grappling you look all weird.

Blake:Weird?

Ruby:Yeah, trying to pin each other down, grabbing at their clothes, pressing together and junk while their sweaty and icky

Blake:… That’s. Looks to Yang

'Sniff, sniff’

She, she smells like him!

Weiss:And then there’s all the grunting, I swear do you even know what you two sound like!?

Yang: Hey it’s not my fault his ground game is so good! Not like there are any other brawlers round here

Blake:Enough! You two are just sparring! That’s it after all.

Yang:… Y-yeah.

Blake:Why did you pause?

Nora:Cuz Yangarang likes to be under Fearless Leader!

Yang: Hey! Th-that’s not true! I just wanna learn some ground game is all!

Nora:Uh-huh, so does Pyr-Pyr.

Blake&Yang:WHAT!?

Yang: Bull! I Know For a Fact She’s A Expert In Hand to hand!

Weiss:I thought you said you didn’t know any other brawlers.

Yang:H-hey whose side are you on Weisscream!?

Weiss: The one who doesn’t smell like a gym

Blake:*Whispers* I like it…

Yang:Hey! Stop Grilling Me! Were Should Be On Cereal Girl’s Case!

Nora: Pyr-Pyr just wanted some grappling lessons, she was even nice enough to let you go first… Of course Fearless Leaders all sweaty so he has to do it without his shirt.

Yang:Mother Fucker! Are You Kidding Me!? I Try To Get Him To Strip For A Hour And He Does It For Free With Pyrrha!?

Blake: You Try And Make Him What!?

Weiss:Ugh, your all hopeless… C'mon Ruby, let’s leave them to argue among themselves.

Ruby:Kay.

Pyrrha:Oh, h-hi, Ruby, Weiss…

Ruby: Your so Red Pyrrha. Yes well…

Weiss: You were sparring with Arc, yes yes, we know.

Pyrrha: Yes, well I… I worked up quite the sweat so I’m going to take a shower… A nice, cold shower…

'JNPR’s Door Closes’

Ruby&Weiss:

Ruby:Weiss.

Weiss:Yes Ruby.

Ruby: Pyrrha’s using their team’s shower right?

Weiss:Obviously.

Ruby: So… hypothetically, if Jaune was gonna use a shower.

Weiss:Obviously he’d, used. the… gym’s.

Ruby: The Gym’s shower 'room’?

Weiss:Yes…

Ruby: If you’ll excuse me.

Weiss:Wha!? H-hey!? You Dolt What Are You Doing!?

Ruby:Oh, you know, j-just wanted to get a run in before bed 'Heh’

Weiss: In The Hall Way!?

Ruby: Y-yeah, you know me, always up for a run!

Weiss: In The Gym’s Direction!?

Ruby:Oh, r-really, I didn’t notice at all.

Weiss:Then Stop!

Ruby:But-

Weiss: I said stop you hopeless Pervert!

Ruby: I Am Not A Pervert!

I’m Just Healthily Curiously!

Weiss:Your About To Peek On A Fellow Student!

Ruby: I… Ugh! Okay Fine, There I Stopped! Are you happy now!? Weiss? Weiss!? Hey!? Why Haven’t You Stopped!

Weiss: I’m Going To Make Sure Deviants like you aren’t attempting to spy on my associate while he’s vulnerable!

The fact that he just so happens to be a male who is built opposite to all those repulsively weak men in Atlas will be bare inches away from my gaze is besides the point

Ruby:You Big Cheater!

-Next Day-

Ruby:Why were you at the lost and found?

Jaune:Oh, well I sparred with Yang and Pyrrha yesterday.

Ruby:You Did! Oh Whoa! I-I Didn’t Know That! R-right Weiss!?

Weiss:You Dolt! Shut Up!

Jaune:Um, anyways… I sorta rushed out of there, got kinda a funny feeling halfway through.

Ruby: Like then you were washing you chest!?

Jaune:*Blink* I… Um, How, how did know that?

Weiss:*Grabs her close and Whispers* What Is wrong with you!?

Ruby:*Whispering Back* I panicked!

Yang:Okay let’s ignore how weird sis and Weisscream are being, what happened now.

Ruby: Yeah! Please Ignore Us! We Didn’t See Anything long or curvi

Weiss:Will You Shut Up!

Jaune:Anyways I was in such a rush I kinda forgot my dirty clothes, and now their missing.

Yang:Well that’s not too weird, I’m sure someone in the staff picked them up…

Jaune:Yeah… I thought about that too and went to check but nobody was able to find them?

Pyrrha: It’s okay Jaune, I’m sure they’ll show up.

Yang: Yeah, at least you don’t have to worry bout some pervert stealing them like us girls.

Jaune: Yeah, I guess your right.

-Meanwhile in RWBY’s Dorm-

'Sniff Sniff’

Blake:~Onii-Chan~

RWBabies: Introducing Arcfall’s Son

Beacon Fourth Year: Hey freshmeat, you must be knew here?

‘Heh’ sweet, I hear this kid is loaded, I’m totally gonna make him my minon.

Damien: And then what happened.

Jericho: Well, the idiot tried to ask if I shot webbing? Anyways-

Beacon Fourth Year: Hey, Arcfall don’t ignore me!

Damien:Hmm?

Turning amber eyes met amber eyes met gazes with the senior who grinned, until he saw the first year glaring at him.

Beacon Fourth Year: What? You got a problem with m-

Without warning the boy swirled, kicking out the fourth year’s leg from beneath him. A palm pushed against his chest and he was sent tumbling on his back.

Damien: Apologies, but nobodies allowed to look down on me.

Jericho:*Rolls Eyes* Here we go again…

Beacon Fourth Year: What the hell? I’m taller then you!

Damien: Then you should kneel.

The senior moved to get up only for a foot to stomp down on his chest pinning him there.

Damien: What’s your name?

Beacon Fourth Year: Screw you!

Damien: Hmm? Must be a pretty common name, half my underlings have it after all.

Jericho:‘Snort’

Damien: Well, it’d be unfair to call you by name, from now on you are minion 11. Come, I wish for a tour of my new stomping ground 11.

Beacon Fourth Year: What The Hell?

The spider Faunus kneeled beside him, patting his head with her hand while her four arachnid legs moved to dust off now disgraced fourth year.

Jericho: Yeah, sorry bout Damien, but you really shouldn’t have approached him.

Damien: Jericho, don’t speak to the help, he hasn’t earned that right yet.

He smirked viciously, under the false impression it was a inviting welcoming smile.

Damien: Work hard eleven, and one day you might earn the privilege calling us by our names.

I truly am toosoft to myunderlings…

And so I fully introduce Damien R. Arcfall, Jaune and Cinder’s son and Jericho Black, Mercury and Trifa’s daughter Faunus. Her trait is four spider legs that come out of her back (Making her have eight limbs like a spider)

gorillageek27:

Jaune: blake can i ask a question?

Blake: um okay?

Jaune: have you beem writing fanfics about me again

Blake:

Blake:Jaune, do you want a blowjob?

Jaune: Stop trying to change the topic Blake…

Blake:*Bites Nails* How bout sex… You can me me purr.

Jaune:Oka-No! Not Again Dammit! Awnser the quest-

‘Clap! Clap! Clap’

Blake:*Twerking*You were saying Jaune?

Jaune:… I, what was I saying?

Blake: Must not have been important, do you want to go to my room?

Jaune:*Staring at Bellabooty* Yes please -///-

Blake:Hmph

Works every time.

juanarc-thethird:

Whats the difference?

Yang: Hey Jaune, do you know the difference between a 5-minute titjob and a 5-minute blowjob?

Jaune: Hmm… The difference?

Jaune: Well, they both feel good so I don’t know.

Yang:*Shows him her tits a bit* Give me 10 minutes and I’ll explain~

Yang:‘Gulp’

Damn, his second round was as thick as the first.

Yang: So you got it yet Loverboy.

Jaune:… Maybe, I think I might need another round, y-y'know to make sure -///-

Yang:Sure Loverboy, anything in the name of education

Secretly Her Biggest Fan!

This is referencing ’Best Kept Secret

Jaune:Is, is that a hug pillow of Snow Angel?

Bleiss: I… Um, i-its for you?

Jaune: Oh, um… okay? Thanks?

Though a bit put off Jaune took the… Odd gift from his lover, admittedly she had given him weirder things so…

‘Sniff, Sniff’

Jaune:Why does it smell like you?

SHIT!

Bleiss: Cuz… Um, I was trying to make it feel like me? Y-yeah that’s it.

Jaune:Oh, I guess that makes sense.

Bleiss:'Sigh’

Thank God I fell in love with a himbo…

juanarc-thethird:

It’s just allergies

General Ironwood sees that Winter is touching her neck and has an uncomfortable face.

Ironwood: Are you okay, Winter?

Winter: I’m fine, sir. Just a sore throat.

Ironwood: If you don’t mind me asking. What happened?

Winter: Umm… *Remembers getting face fucked by Jaune*…allergies

Ironwood: Do you need a pill or something?

Winter: I’m good, sir. Thank you.

Winter:I suppose I should be on the pill though, practicing safe sex is only reasonable

Ironwood:What did you say Winter? I’m sorry but my mind was elsewhere?

Winter:N-Nothing Sir O///O

I can’t believe I said that out loud! I Blame You Arc! After all I hardly slept last night because of that Handsome Simplton, that rugged, strong… -///-

-Meanwhile-

Jaune:‘Achoo’

More Random Hammer Knight

-Atlas Hospital-

Ruby:what Happened! I Heard Jaunes in ICU!

Weiss: Is It True! Someone Shattered His Aura!

Elm:‘Sad Giantess Noises!’

Oscar: I-its fine, well… not really, Jaune’s skull was technically… caved in.

Yang:What!?

Nora: B-but Only A Little Bit! Fearless Leaders Gonna Be Fine!

Blake:What happened!

Ren:Well… Um, how do I put this…

Elm: It’s My Fault!

Ren: Now now miss Ederne, we’ve been over this, Jaune gave his consent. He fully understood the risk.

Weiss: Wait, this was your doing!?

Elm:H-He begged me to!

Nora:Yeah! Lay Off My Hammer Sister!

Yang:Okay, what the hell happened, why’d you attack VB?

Oscar:Well… she didn’t… 'Attack’ Jaune…

Ruby:What do you mean?

Nora: Like I said! It wasn’t her fault! The two of us and Jaune-Jaune were just working out! Y'know deadlifting a few hundred pound, light junk like that.

Blake: What exactly constitutes light to you?

Nora:And Elmmy here wanted to workout her legs, next thing we know Jaune-Jaune is staring at her as she working out on the thighs. Squeezing them together.

Yang:Wait…

Elm: He told me he could take it!

Weiss:Are you telling me you nearly crushed that idiots skull cause he asked you to squeeze his head in your thighs!?

Elm: I Should’ve Known My Own Strength!

Nora:Don’t sweat it bestie, Fearless Leader loved it… A bit too much.

Shouldn’t have asked her to squeeze harder…

Blake: I don’t even know what to say…

Weiss: Hmph. Well hopefully that Dolt will learn from this…

Oscar: I wouldn’t… -///-

Ren:Indeed…

You Damn Ignorant Fool! There Is No More Divine Sensation Then The Bliss And Terror Of Thunder Thighs!!!

Nora:'Achoo’ Huh? That weird… did someone say something about me?

Doctor: Team JNPR, I thought I’d inform you that Jaune is on his way to making a full recovery.

Elm:Oh Thank God!

Ren:Has he woken up?

Doctor: He did for several moments, though we were a bit confused…

Ruby: Why’s that?

Doctor:Well, all he did was repeat the word 'Harder’ for some reason?

Elm:O///O!!!

Yang: I’m guessing he didn’t learn his lesson…

Oscar:Like my auntie always said you can’t fix what ain’t broke

Ren:Indeed…

You are wise beyond your years Oscar…

Weiss:'Sigh’Idiots.

Nora:Awe, Elmmy don’t you get what this means, he thinking about you. Ain’t that romantic.

Elm:'Flustered Giantess Noises’ -///-

Ren:Technically speaking, he’s dreaming about you.

Elm covered her face, shocking the lot of them, the giantess of the Ace-Ops reduced to a helpless state from but embarrassing words.

Blake:This is strangely cute…

Nora:It’s called Gap Moe Lacy Blakey! Only People of true culture can understand!

Ren:Indeed.

Elm:>///<

Jaune! Get Better And Help Me Already!

More Random Knightshade

-First Year of Dating-

Jaune yawned, swaying slightly.

Blake: If you need to rest feel free to, you went on a mission yesterday after all. I won’t hold it against you if you go catch some sleep.

Blake sat in the tree Jaune leaned against. The Arc exhausted but quite insistent on spending time with her. Even if it was merely enjoying each others quiet company… Yeah.

Quiet, tranquil alone time… With tons of calm weary white noise…

Jaune:Y-you‘Yawn’ have a mission tomorrow right.. That’s why I wanted to do this much at least. And do a, a picnic and… and 'Snore’- And Spend Some Time Together!

Panicked the blonde slapped his cheeks to stay awake. Blake rolled her eyes but smiled, leaping down out of her tree.

Blake:Fine, you don’t have to leave.

Jaune gave a tired smile.

Jaune: Greatz, cuz I made uz zome food…

His words we slurring, she smiled as she easily shoved the tired blonde form his spot at the base of the tree. A testament to how exhausted he was.

She then quickly too her seat there, grabbed the basket of food putting it nice and close. And then finally.

Jaune: Huh? Blake? Whaz are youz whoa!-

She grabbed him by the sides of his swaying head and pulled him down into her lap. Jaune stared up confused as she meet his gaze, a coy smile displayed.

Blake:You can either sleep in your dorm or here, your choice.

She expected a protest from the stubborn Arc, but was surprised when he didn’t protest… Well, not too surprised.

Jaune:Zzzz…

She stared at his sleeping face, a small genuine smile displaying itself as she watched him for several more minutes. She reached out, grabbing a sandwich out of the basket, a small nibble was given as she returned to her book, every once in a while putting it down to enjoy doing some Jaune watching.

All the while the knight below enjoyed a nice rest on one of the possibly finest pillows in all of Remnant.

-Second Year of Dating-

Blake:Hmm, this is a nice spot to read at, good eye Jaune…

Jaune:'Heh’ I thought you’d like it, oh wait! *Pulls out Picnic Blanket* I brought this too. Nice right? Now we don’t have to worry about the dirt and grass.

Blake:*Nods* That’s a great idea.

With a smile Jaune laid the sheet across the patch of filed along the tree. A nice cozy support for Blake to lean against. Delicately he moved a basket with some tuna sandwiches to the side.

He grinned… Before laying down flat, on it, all but covering the entirety of the blanket. Blake’s eyes narrowed then.

Blake:What do you think your doing?

Jaune:Huh? Laying down, duh?

He made sure his head was right in front of the tree, this earned a 'Very’ displeased look from the usually stoic Belladonna.

Blake:Your pillow.

He blinked then…

Jaune:Ooooh! Crude, I forgot it.

She sighed.

Blake:Of course you did…

She gave a small smile then as she pulled out a black frilly pillow.

Blake: Your lucky I brought a spare.

He grinned.

Jaune: What would I do without you…

Rolling her eyes she tossed it his way, and catching it Jaune didn’t waste a minute. Moving the pillow under his head laying it right before the trunk before planting his head on it and getting nice and comfortable. He then looked to her and smiled.

Jaune:Your seat awaits my Menagerian Princess.

Blake didn’t miss a beat, swiftly moving, her feet planting on either side of the nights head before she crouched. Lifting her skirt to sit down.

Jaune grinned the entire time as she took her seat on his face. She leaned against the oak and pulled open her book, grabbing a sandwich to enjoy.

Blake:Your okay right Jaune?

His response was a thumbs up.

She smiled, wiggling to get into a more comfortable position. Jaune certainly didn’t complain even a single muffled word.

jakespeed207:

summion7:

howlingday:

Jaune: (Fighting Cinder) You think lighting yourself on fire scares me?! (Points to Yang) I’ve fucked her while she was on fire!

Yang: Huh?

Cinder: Uhh…

Yang: time and place!

Nora: he and ren double teamed me while I was covered in electricity!

Cinder: HOW?!

Ren: Nora, that was all your fault.

Nora: was not! How was I supposed to remember I still had that lightning dust in my pocket?!

Cinder: Wait, wait, wait, I get you two fucking, but how does he *points to Jaune* factor into that?

Nora: oh well, I called him over to heal us after getting electrocuted and his aura boost felt so good and I… Maybe… Kinda… Challenged him to see what would last longer: them inside me, an entire lightning dust crystal, or his aura boost healing us simultaneously!

Everyone:*looks at Jaune*

Jaune:*shrug* Can’t resist a good challenge. Arc’s honor is on the line!

Everyone:*looks at Ren*

Ren:*shrug* it was for scientific purposes.

Nora: Our Fearless Leader Has Stuck His Dick In Fire (Yang) Lightening (Nora) Ice (Weiss) Shadow (Blake) and even that same silver light your scared of (Ruby)! You should be afraid of Jaune-Jaune’s Unstoppable sword! And I don’t mean Crocea Mors!

Jaune:N-Nora!>///<

Cinder:

Mercury:… Blonde bastard…

Neo:

Is it too late for me to switch sides?

madmanwonder:

Imagine Your RWBY OTP

“Welcome Back~!” Jaune said cheerfully to your ship, opening the door with a beaming grin on his boyish handsome face.

Bleiss: *Licks Lips* Damn stud you look better in a apron then me…

Jaune:Hope your hungry I made your favorite

Bleiss: ~I bet you did~ *Gets on knees*

‘Unzip’

Jaune: Food Bleiss! I Meant Food! >///<

juanarc-thethird:

howlingday:

dam1994s:

juanarc-thethird:

Meet your new daddy.

Willow: Weiss, do you remember your ex?

Weiss: Yes?

Willow: Well, I’m going out with him now.

Jaune:*Smiles*Hola

Weiss: What?!

Willow: From now on you’ll have to call him “daddy”

Jaune: Don’t worry. She always called me that.

Weiss: You Cannot Be Serious!

Jaune: Geez, Weiss C'mon, it shouldn’t be that hard, Winter had no problems with it.

Winter: (Wearing a baseball cap) He took us to a baseball game.

Whitely: (Wearing a giant foam finger) And he caught a flyball for me! (Clears his throat) It was a wonderful afternoon out.

Jaune: We wanted to invite you, but you never answered your scroll.

Klein: *Also wearing a baseball cap and a giant foam finger* Mr. Arc, I just want to thank you once again for inviting me to the baseball game. I had a wonderful time.

Jaune: I already told you. You do not have to thank me.

Weiss: You took Klein to the game too?!

Jaune: Of course I did. He is part of this family.

Klein: Oh I’m glad to hear that Mr. Arc. Mrs. Willow is a very lucky woman to have you.

Willow: Yes, I am very lucky. *kisses him on the cheek*

Jaune: Thanks, but you’re not the only lucky one. Come here~

Willow: OH!!~ *Giggles*

He turns her around, lays her in his arms, and kisses her passionately.

Weiss:*Disgust*Oh god, not in front of me.

Willow: What’s wrong dear?

Weiss:What’s Wrong Is I Know Exactly How Skilled That Tongue Is! >///<

beaconbabes:

jaune-arc-the-stud-king:

Your ship nickname for Jauned*ck

Yang: Dragon Slayer~ Rawr.~

Raven: Baby Maker.

Summer: Yummy~

Winter: eh-hem……The Kings Scepter….

Bleiss: Darling’s Bitchbreaker

NeoText:‘Smoli-Breaker’

Ruby:His Cocktana

Weiss:'Ahem’Arc’s Arc-///-

Blake: His Breeding Meat-///-

Pyrrha: H-His Womb Beater! >///<

Penny:Error-Error, because that is all I see once we’re done and I’ve short circuited.

Neon: Of Fuck, I mean that’s all I can say when he whips it out

Glynda:My Stress Reliever of course

Sienna: Simple, Mine

howlingday:

therealmofamorus:

Ruby got zero shame

Ruby: Lucky for me, I’ve got a lockpick! (Pulls out Crescent Rose)

Jaune:Ruby Put The Lockpick Down!

Ruby: *Reloads Crescent Rose* Not Until I Get My Free Show! Now Wash Up *Cocks Crescent Rose* And do it slow.

Protective Sister

Yang, hugging Jaune’s arm: “Hey you all! We’re dating now!”

Terra: “Aw, that’s so sweet.”

Saphron: “You both have fun tonight! But remember-” *puts an arm around Yang’s shoulder and drops to whisper*“Whatever you do to him, I do to you. We clear?”

Yang: “Er… c-crystal.”

Saphron: “Good! Be seeing you then!”

-later-

Jaune: “What’d Saph tell you earlier?”

Yang: “Um, nothing…”

Not According To Plan

Bleiss, getting bent over by Jaune in the classroom: “You like this, Goodwitch!? You can’t stop it! Fight the power!”

Goodwitch, adjusting her glasses: “Young lady, did you bring ass for the rest of the class?”

Everyone in the class gets an evil glint in their eye and start rising from seats.

Bleiss: “E-Excuse me?”

Glynda: “You heard me.” *raises her crop* “I can even keep you in place…”

Bleiss:*adjusts herself and sits back down, paler than usual* “I’ll be good.”

Glynda: “That’s what I thought.”

Blacksun at Schnee Manor

Sun, introducing at the party: “This is my first wife.”

Blake: “And current wife.”

Sun: “And these are her kids.”

Blake: “They’re also his.”

Sun: “We keep it friendly.”

Blake: “On account of we’re married.”

Sun: “I love those kids like they’re my own.”

Blake: “Because they are.”

Blake: “I can read hands.”

Yang: “Really? What do mine say?” *holds out her palm*

Blake, focusing hard: “It says you’re dumb for believing hand-reading is real.”

Yang: “What else does it say?”

Bad Boy Jaune

Jaune, rolling up on Bumblebee with a leather jacket: “Hey kid!”

Atlas Kid:?

Jaune: “I fucked your mom!”

Kid:“W-what?”

Jaune: “I said, I fucked your mom! Her and I are in love!”

Kid:“Uh-”

Jaune: “Now I know I’m not your real dad! But I care about your well-being! And to me, you are my mother-heckin’ son!”

Yang: “Hey, that’s my bike!”

Not Really Single

Jaune, looking at his scroll: “Hot single mom in my area!? I’m on my way!”

Willow, with a fever in her bed and being fed soup: “I don’t know who you are, but thank you.”

Same Shit, Different Bowl o’ Cereal

Jaune: “Your ass is about to be busier than a test bench in a plunger factory!”

Bleiss: “You promise?”

Jaune: … “I don’t know why I thought that threat would work.”

Kali, answering the door: “Blake! You came back! And you brought a boy! But why are you both soaked?

-Earlier, on the boat-

Sun: "We’re heading right toward the light house!”

Moth Faunus Captain: “Hell yeah we are!”

- present -

Blake: “I don’t wanna talk about it…”

Student Interviews

Glynda: “So, what is something outside of class that interests you?”

Bleiss: “Well, I like blowing bubbles.”

Glynda: … “Did not expect that, but okay then.”

-later-

Glynda: “And you’re confident you’ll be able to finish the year with above-average scores?”

Jaune: “Yes ma'am! My nickname here is Bubbles, cause I’m always rising to the top!”

Glynda: “Yes, very funny.”

.

Glynda: “Wait a minute.”

Haha Blake is a Cat Part 24

Jaune: *buys Blake a drink*

Blake: *seductively pushes it off the counter*

< Prev

Bro Life

Jaune, hugging Ruby: “Even though you’re a girl, you’re still my bro!”

Ruby, sniffling: “Yeah! Bros for life! … We can still bang though right?”

Jaune: “Ruby. Just cause you’re in the bro-zone, doesn’t mean you can’t get the bro-bone.”

Haha Velvet is STRAYAN

Velvet: “Try this vegemite it tastes like shit.”

Jaune: “Wow. This tastes like shit.”

Velvet: “Hahaha yeah mate.”

Cinder, walking in with Neo and Emerald: “No one stands a chance!”

Jaune, struttin’ his stuff: “Is that all you got!? I thought you girls were supposed to be THICC!”

Cinder: “Oh no! He’s not just thicc, he’s DUMBY thicc!”

Yang, riding her motorcycle with Jaune on the back: “Jaune! Hand me the turn signal!”

Jaune:Hand you the turn signal?” *reaches down the side and pulls out a gun* “What the?”

Yang, snatching it: “Thank you!” *aiming the gun at the car next to her* “MOVE OVER I’M CHANGING LANES!”

howlingday:

shotgun-boots:

howlingday:

gorillageek27:

Jaune: ruby? What the hell?

I’m gonna be that guy and ask.

Which mass-murdering psychopath?

“The answer to that is obvious….it’s Alucard.”

Great! Now I want a Ruby self-insert fan-fic about Alucard.

Blake: “Did someone say fanfiction? Let’s compare scripts!”

Ruby:“YEAH!”

Winter: “What is wrong with you girls?” *holds up a stack of paper* “Mine is clearly superior.”

Cop, stopping a vehicle: “Excuse me ma'am, we’re looking for two child murderers.”

Cinder, with Neo in the passenger seat: “We’ll do it.”

NSFW Whiteknight

Weiss: *going down on Jaune while daintily putting her hair behind her ear and raising a pinky up*

Jaune: “Really Weiss?”

Weiss: “What? I am a lady, not some slob.”

For My Team

In an illegal underground coliseum, Jaune fights to get money for his team.

Jaune: AAH!! *Cuts a Grim in half*

Lil’ Miss Malachite: Do it again!

Jaune: What?

Lil’ Miss Malachite: Do it again!… But naked.

Jaune: No!

Lil’ Miss Malachite:*She pulls out a big bag of money*

Jaune: ?

Lil’ Miss Malachite:*She pulls out a much bigger bag of money*

Jaune:*Naked*

summion7:

juanarc-thethird:

howlingday:

dam1994s:

juanarc-thethird:

The List

Jaune is walking down a hallway, turning the corner he bumps into Bleiss and she drops a big list.

Jaune: I’m so sorry, Bleiss. I didn’t pay attention. Let me-

Bleiss: Oh no, I just dropped my “People I wanna fuck”list~

Jaune looks at the list and sees that it’s just his name written multiple times.

Bleiss: Gosh, I am so clumsy~

Jaune:Whose Bitchbreaker?

Bleiss: That’d be you, cute nickname right?

Jaune: And Womb Beater?

Bleiss: Second verse, same as the first?

Jaune:Daddy?

Bleiss: Darling do I really need to explain every nickname I’ve come up with?

Jaune: Okay, but Throat Spliter, really?

Jaune: Oh, I like this one!

Bleiss: Really? I just wrote that as a joke after Thunder Thighs suggested it.

Jaune: But it’s cute. Can you call me this some time?

Bleiss: Fine, if that’s what you want… my darling Bunny Boy~.

Jaune: Wait, Tripod? Really?

Bleiss: What? Your dick is so big that you can lean on it.

Jaune: this is sounds like a comic book character.

Bleiss: yes it does but I know you’ll be my pussy’s hero “cervix buster”!

howlingday:

dam1994s:

juanarc-thethird:

The List

Jaune is walking down a hallway, turning the corner he bumps into Bleiss and she drops a big list.

Jaune: I’m so sorry, Bleiss. I didn’t pay attention. Let me-

Bleiss: Oh no, I just dropped my “People I wanna fuck”list~

Jaune looks at the list and sees that it’s just his name written multiple times.

Bleiss: Gosh, I am so clumsy~

Jaune:Whose Bitchbreaker?

Bleiss: That’d be you, cute nickname right?

Jaune: And Womb Beater?

Bleiss: Second verse, same as the first?

Jaune:Daddy?

Bleiss: Darling do I really need to explain every nickname I’ve come up with?

Jaune: Okay, but Throat Spliter, really?

Jaune: Oh, I like this one!

Bleiss: Really? I just wrote that as a joke after Thunder Thighs suggested it.

Jaune: But it’s cute. Can you call me this some time?

Bleiss: Fine, if that’s what you want… my darling Bunny Boy~.

Jaune: Wait, Tripod? Really?

Bleiss: What? Your dick is so big that you can lean on it.

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