#self harm
a few old drawings. never posted
miscellaneous furry sketches (old)
After a series of harming those around him on account of the Millennium Earl’s power taking hold of his body, Mana tries to kill himself with a shard from a broken mirror.
More below the cut.
Nea would do anything for Mana…
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After a series of harming those around him on account of the Millennium Earl’s power taking hold of his body, Mana tries to kill himself with a shard from a broken mirror.
More below the cut.
Nea can’t do anything but hold his brother, seeing Mana so broken will forever stay with him.
Mana’s wounds heal fast enough for it to not kill him there. He was waiting for Nea to be away, ironically going over to Cross’s to figure out how to deal with any of this.
Some previous instances:
Mana is sleepwalking, likely the Earl, and goes into Nea’s room.
“You were never supposed to exist.” Nea looks into his eyes- and what he sees isn’t Mana.
Mana’s nose begins to bleed and he collapses onto the floor.
Nea never mentions this to him, but Mana can tell that something is off.
Some time in the past, Mana finds out before Nea, and he goes over to Cross’s house for the night specifically to tell him that. Mana saying he doesn’t know how much time he has left. Mana’s a sobbing mess. Not only has Cross not seen Mana like this, it just confirms what Cross had been fearing for a while. He’s losing Mana.
There are lapses in Mana’s memory further down the line, so he doesn’t even remember half of this happening.
I don’t typically give exposition to my drawings (I assure you, there is a lot I don’t talk about) but this one I feel warranted it. (also I like them)
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I’m diving back into this dark place and the sad part is that a piece of me missed it.
This year was hard but I actually did it! Still can’t believe it hahsha 100 posts this time, I got a bit ambitious lol But I’m always excited to plan and make these, and I hope you all enjoyed!!! Thank you, everyone
Day 01
- “You have to let go”-Word of Honor 29+Gundam 00 1x11
- Barbed Wire-1917
- Bound-Whiskey Cavalier 9+Charmed 3x14
Day 02
Day 03
- Taunting-Babylon 5 5x07+Sherlock 2x01
- Insults-The Umbrella Academy 2x06+Criminal Minds 1x06
- “Who did this to you?”-Suits 2x12
Day 04
- “Do you trust me?” -The 100 2x10+Buffy, The Vampire Slayer 2x22
- Taken hostage-Forever 2+The Mentalist 7x10
- Pushed-Prodigal Son 2x06
Day 05
- Betrayal-Merlin 2x08
- Broken nose-Grey’s Anatomy 13x01
Day 06
- Bruises-Salvation 1x06+Superman & Lois 1x09
- Hunger-Vampire Knight (1x01,2) +Submergence
Day 07
- Helplessness-Daredevil 2x02+One Piece (405, 505)
- Blindness-New Amsterdam 3x12+Grimm 2x15
Day 08
- Pneumothorax-W 1
- Exotic Illness -Dirk Gently (1x08, 2x01,04)+Charmed 2018 2x11
- “Definitely just a cold”-Navillera 3+My Roommate is a cat 1x08
Day 09
- Presumed Dead -MCU (Thor 1, Thor 2, Loki 1x04)
- Tears-Lucifer 5x10+Sweet Home 10
Day 10
- Hospital - Young Wallander 1x02
- Flare-up - Noragami (1x06,7,8,9)+Supernatural (14x03,6,7)
Day 11
- Adrift-Horizon Line+Adrift
- Drowning-Ghost Whisperer 4x18+Animal Kingdom 2x06
- Dehydration-Jericho 2x06
Day 12
- Torture-Tokyo Ghoul 1x12+Burn Notice 4x02
- Made to watch-Lethal Weapon 1x18+Stargate Atlantis 3x07
- Begging-Akatsuki no Yona OVA 3
Day 13
- “This is gonna suck”-Iron Fist 2x05+Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood 41
- Burns-The Greatest Showman
- Cauterization-The Boys 2x06+Walker 1x13
Day 14
- Crush Injuries-Gotham 4x22
- Beaten-Persona 5: The Animation+47 Ronin
Day 15
- Delirium-Atonement
Day 16
Day 17
Day 18
Day 19
- Bitten-The Witcher 1x08+The Passage 1x10
- Bleeding-Bones 11x01+Chaos Walking
- Stabbing-Katsugeki Touken Ranbu 5+Rurouni Kenshin: The Final
Day 20
- Trunk-Fargo 1x04
- Solitary Confinement -Titans 2x11
Day 21
- Bleeding through the bandages-Humans 1x02
Day 22
- Demon-Shadowhunters 2x04+Constantine 1x08
- Obsession-Crush
Day 23
- Pursuit-S.W.A.T. 1x21+His Dark Materials 2x07
Day 24
- Self-induced injuries to escape-Captain America 2+Allegiance 1x10
- Flashback-Oh My Venus 1x11
Day 25
- Hiding-I Am the Night 1x01
Day 26
- Fallen-The Stand 1x07
- Waterfall-Sherlock 4x00
Day 27
- Passing out -Broadchurch 1x04+Prison Break 4x10
- Collapse-Westworld 3x05+The Flash 6x07
Day 28
- “Good. You’re finally awake”-The Whispers 1x01
- Nightmares-Designated Survivor 1x12
- Panic-Entre Abelhas+Gold Digger 5
Day 29
- “You’re still not dead?”-Cursed 1x10+Forever (1,2,7,22)
Day 30
- Digging your grave-Prison Break 3x13
- Left for dead-The Expanse 1x03
Day 31
- Trauma-The OC 1x03+The Untamed 21
- Prisoner-Arrow 1x11
Numb the pain in any way you can. Depression and obsession run through me and the only thing worth living for is you…
Hearteater, why’d you eat my heart alive? Still breathin, why you looking so surprised?
you know what, im not going to calm down. ive been raised all my life at the mercy of people who didn’t hesitate to make me fear for my life, who spoke in hushed tones over someone who turned out to be gay “oh their poor parents, they shouldn’t attend the wedding…” ive listened to the simpering sounds of those who say “the poor man has AIDs, don’t worry, it wasn’t from that” and the voice that says now you are allowed to show sympathy… the fear, the anger, the danger present in every word i spoke and the wild glances i stole in the locker rooms while trying to see if you could asphyxiate if you just held your breath long enough – if you just hurt yourself hard enough maybe that would be some type of atonement and you would make yourself pure through the fire of your secrecy and despair. that maybe if you didnt drink anything for days, didnt eat anything for days, Your Parents (God), Your friends (The Son), Your Community (The Holy Spirit) would shelter you from the storm they wrought even though you know it in your heart to be a lie. they will hurt you and you have imposed your own superstitions just to appease your fractured mind and you live with it because you are told that the outside world is even crueler until you leave and find that it was all dust and ash
- You walk along a food aisle in a supermarket. You are suddenly six years old and helpless. You continue walking. No one looks at you. When you get into your car you cry and cry and cry.
- Your friend introduces you to someone. They smile and offer their hand. You think that their face looks a little familiar. You don’t take their hand. You feel like screaming.
- You watch TV, you clean your room, you listen to music, you read, and you count the dots on the ceiling. Sometimes you do all of this at the same time. It’s still not enough.
- A friend is retelling a joke and playfully smacks you. They continue with the story, but you won’t be able to move or speak for the next six hours.
- Someone is talking to you, and you politely nod along. There is a child with them. They proudly state that the child is theirs. You look at the child and resist the urge to take them with you. Their eyes haunt you for the rest of the day.
- You are alone in a room. Someone is here with you. Someone is always here with you.
- At random times of the day you are possessed by the need to scream until your lungs fill with blood and your body crumbles into dust. This is normal, and should be ignored.
- Today you will decide whether you live or die. This decision does not depend on you, but on whether or not a specific song is playing on the radio.
- You have to go into the shower. You don’t want to get into the shower. You spend days thinking about getting into the shower. Finally, you manage to get in. You can’t get back out. This happens every week, and you still don’t know how you escape each time. You fear that one day you will drown without making a sound.
- Every time you look at the walls, the details get more distorted and the floorboards get longer. You have to start letting your eyes pass over them just to get through the day.
- You have imposed your own superstitions just to appease your fractured mind and you live with it because you have been taught nothing else.
- You want to prove yourself worthy of living, so you stop eating. You stop drinking. Why would you think hurting yourself means you deserve to live? There are no answers, so you continue on.
