To those in need of some encouragement & inspiration while stuck in a dark & twisted space, those questioning & seeking answers, those alone & lonley suffering in silence, those without a voice or depressed, or those contemplating a world changing decision…I know the pain, emotions, and experiences are real. I know the pressures, situations, circumstances, challenges, and hardships are taking a toll on you. I know the constant battle of debating & defending yourself is difficult. It is, there’s no denying it.
However, may I say…You’re here for a reason, with a purpose, & given a choice to live the best life you can in & through these horrid trials & perils. Please, don’t give up. Please, hold on. The world is brutal & the experience is mind blowing. I won’t argue with you about that but it’s still good. With all of the bad things that occur. The same amount of good is still evident and occuring around, to, through, and for you. We’re all better and worse off than each other at any given moment. It’s no fair no equal. No, but, it’s life. And, it’s still worth living, regardless. Please reach out to someone. Communicate & seek the proper help for your current situation. I know humans are messy & crazy but, there are still people in this world that will be willing & able to help, assist, provide, protect, maintain, & manage your crisis. We want to help! You aren’t in this alone. Be your own hero, save yourself by letting someone know you need help. You need you. Just like your family, friends, and those you encounter in this world - we all need you. We all want you. And, although it may not seem that way at times…it’s true.
Each and every day, we’re choosing to do more for ourselves and each other. So, we’re here and every day we’re going to choose to show up, be present, be aware, & stay conscious of this gift of life until we can’t anymore. We will support & protect you the best of our ability. We will love each and every part of you and encourage you to do the same. Not because we’re obligated or have too. No, because we want too and know that regardless of how any of us feel, we are all the same and in need of the same things. We’re all connected. And, without you - we’re all missing something that we could’ve, should’ve, would’ve had and experienced but, never got a chance too.
Please, reconsider your decision. Evaluate your feelings. Know your experience is vaild. However, so it your purpose. Please, choose to be alive. Not just alive but, to truly live & not just survive. Live your life abundantly. Seek the help & support you need. Find a community that will uplift, push forward, hold down & keep you accountable. Be responsible & kind to yourself & others. Because, things are going to get hard & be difficult. There will be major struggle & resistance to the process of recovery & healing. Some days will be better than others. Sometimes, things will drag & suck but, things will get better. I believe in, am praying & rooting for you. Don’t give up. You got this!
I come from a background where so many people have wandered in and out of my life, speaking to, at, over, and into me and my journey. Some negative and some positive. Some curses and some blessings. Some false and some true. I really struggled with comprehension and gaining a proper understanding of their impact. It wasn’t until I listened to the small whisper and discovered my own narrative, that I was able to “chew the meat and spit out the bones” of what occurred in the past and come out of it a better person.
So, cheers to the struggle, the discoveries, and the journeys this life has brought me. I am proud of myself because I did everything everyone said I never could. I became everything I’m not to truly become everything I am and will become…Now, I can add self taught “Writer, Poet, & Author” to my resume. Except, this isn’t just what I do but, a part of who I am. This dream is now a reality. I have seen something spiritual become physical and manifest it’s blessings to those around me.
My first poetry collection - ETHEREAL LOVE by Kid Gills - coming really soon.
We’re taught to care more about appearances than how we feel and so we focus more on an illusion than what is real. We stay on the surface instead of going deep to heal.
that might explain why at my last evaluation the psychiatrist suddenly right when i started to struggle started to ask me pointless questions like who is the pope, who is the chancellor, what is the difference between a lake and a river, and making me do sums and i was like bitch what happened and just obediently answered the questions and then he said now i can go and do whatever i want. i was so confused and worried what he might have read out of my answers and what he meant by now i can do whatever i want.
I’ve done this to myself repeatedly on instinct. This is my husband’s instinctual automatic response, because he and basically everyone he’s ever known has had severe trauma episodes since the 1990s, and it genuinely really does help me.
