You’re always going to be young in someone’s eyes and old in someone else’s, talented to one and terrible to the next. The worlds never going to agree on a definition of what you are so you might as well ignore that shit and be whatever the fuck you wanna be for yourself.
I mean, it IS possible to be the oldest person in the world. So you could be old in everyone’s eyes. Sounds like a good life goal, actually.
This is a great response and I am going to use it!
[image id: tweet by BlaQueer Therapist (@ablackhealer) that reads: “‘I’m surprised you feel comfortable asking people that.’ The next time someone asks something that is invasive, none of their business, insensitive…” end id.]
There’s a tumblr post floating around somewhere that says “We think that if we get better at writing, it will someday stop sounding like we wrote it” or something along those lines.
Does anyone happen to have a link handy? I want to reference it in an advice post.
Was it this one?
Yes, thank you so much!!!!!
[ID: a tweet by elicia donze that reads “People hate their own art because it looks like they made it. They think if they get better, it will stop looking like they made it. A better person made it. But there’s no level of skill beyond which you stop being you. You hate the most valuable thing about your art. /end ID]
The more kindness you put into the world, the brighter it begins to look. If you are having trouble being kind to someone unpleasant, walk away and come back after you had a chance to calm down. If this doesn’t help, wish the person well, and move on. Letting go can be an act of kindness.
For all of you newbies, we know how tricky it can be to make your first Kandu (we’ve been there). But guess what. We are real, live humans on the other side of this screen. And we can help!
(Ok so that’s not a human… but it’s cute, right?)
Always feel free to reach out to us directly. We do our best to answer emailsand tweets (#AskKandu) as quickly as we can (unless we’re sleeping!) so you can keep on making cool stuff.
Feeling shy? We get it. Browse our FAQs, watch our tutorial videos, and/or head over to the Forum to post a question. These areas are all a work-in-progress, so please bear with us. We’re new, too, and we always welcome suggestions and feedback that will help make Kandu a place where anyone can have fun.
You got through the days you worried most about, you got through the weeks you were anxious about, and you got through the months you felt at your worst. Take a moment to be proud of yourself for that, and maybe even reward yourself. I believe in you for going through and doing well in the moments you still have ahead of you.
stop forgiving people who continuously cross the boundaries you set. they’re testing the waters trying to see what they can get away with, finding out how hard they can push you. they want you to give in because they benefit from you not having strong boundaries. they know exactly what they’re doing; don’t tolerate their disrespect.
Aries: You’re blazing with fire, but sometimes you don’t know how to express it. You’re scared that what you’ll say will come out all wrong. Everything will be okay. Calm down. Talk about it rationally. People will listen.
Taurus: You want someone to acknowledge how much you’re struggling on the inside, but you keep telling yourself you have to stay strong, and no one can find out how hurt you are. The people around you care.
Gemini: You want to express yourself. You want to be more type A, but you’re afraid that your opinions don’t matter and people are going to be scared by the sudden change. YOUR OPINIONS MATTER.
Cancer: You always feel the need to be strong, emotionally, mentally and physically. You have no limit to what “the best” is and yet you keep on reaching. Why? It’s okay to stop. Moderation is key.
Leo: You know how much you’re actually worth, and so I’m sure you’re frustrated others can’t see this – and worse, how terrible some people treat you. Fuck them. You don’t have to justify yourself to others. Head up King.
Virgo: You think you think too differently than everybody else, and that your mind and your personality just aren’t compatible with everyone else’s. Take the time to appreciate the people around you, because they love you just as much.
Libra: You think people always look down on you, in every way possible. You never think you’re good enough, and you’re too sensitive. You think you can always do better. You’re fine where you are now. Being idle is rarely bad.
Scorpio: You feel that sometimes you have take to the extra mile to please others, but the case is you’re in this world to help yourself. Kindness is good, but to an extent. You live and die with yourself boo. Remember that.
Sagittarius: You’re confused because you think you’re the shit, but a piece of shit at the same time. That’s completely normal. Acknowledge your worth, but also understand that you have flaws (like everyone else) and continue to work on them.
Capricorn: Straight up telling you that you have to stop over exhausting yourself, whether it be at school, in thinking, in bathing in your emotions. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t harshly critique yourself – be your best critic.
Aquarius: Don’t keep looking around at others to feed your pride and your ego. You have enough of that. That validation has to come from you. You ARE smart. You ARE beautiful. You ARE wonderful.
Pisces: You don’t have to always do everything all at once. Life is a marathon, not a race. Things take time to accomplish, so please don’t worry if it takes a while to get there. You’ll get what you want done.
Heed the past, but do not let it stop you from looking forward. This is the time to rid yourself of that which no longer serves you. Something new is coming, and you can move forward comfortably and at your own pace. Remember to listen to your intuition, as it may be tugging at you as of late.
Wise and compassionate Bitch advice columnist Bear reassures a reader concerned about emotional unavailability, losing interest in a relationship, and turning into their father by pointing to the sweetness and depth that can happen when a relationship “becomes real.”
“The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.” – Émile Zola [Painter at Work, Paul Cézanne]
• Émile Zola (1840-1902), French activist, critic, and author of many works influential in the naturalism literary school including his series of twenty novels written between 1871 and 1893 that follow the Rougon Macquart family starting with The Fortune of the Rougons (1871). More: http://www.online-literature.com/emile-zola/
• Paul Cézanne (1839-1906) is known as both a French impressionist and one of the founders of modern art. He worked during a time when concept of painting out in the air in natural light was just becoming popular. More: http://www.thefamousartists.com/paul-cezanne/painter-at-work
“The most solid advice for a writer is this, I think: Try to learn to breathe deeply, really to taste food when you eat, and when you sleep really to sleep. Try as much as possible to be wholly alive with all your might, and when you laugh, laugh like hell. And when you get angry, get good and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.” ~ Ernest Hemingway [Untitled - Shah Bibi Tarakhail with Davyd Whaley]
• During the twenties, Hemingway became a member of the group of expatriate Americans in Paris, which he described in his first important work, The Sun Also Rises (1926). Equally successful was A Farewell to Arms (1929), the study of an American ambulance officer’s disillusionment in the war and his role as a deserter. Hemingway used his experiences as a reporter during the civil war in Spain as the background for his most ambitious novel, For Whom the Bell Tolls (1940). Among his later works, the most outstanding is the short novel, The Old Man and the Sea (1952), the story of an old fisherman’s journey, his long and lonely struggle with a fish and the sea, and his victory in defeat. More: https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/literature/1954/hemingway/biographical/
There is no right way of loving or wanting to be loved. You know yourself best, you know what you want and you should not be afraid/ashamed to ask for it. The way you love and feel love is as special as you are and therefore it is not wrong. No matter what kind of relationship you crave, no matter if you desire to be physically involved or not, no matter who or what you are interested in, your wants and needs are valid. I know that there are so many types of love, romance, relationships etc. out there, but that does not mean it makes you “weird” or “unnormal” if you do not want any of that. You know what you like and you know what fulfills you and (as long as you are safe), you should live it loudly and proudly. For it is only human to love, to want to be loved and to want to feel some sort of connection. So do it in your own way, my love. Your way is the right way.
A huge shoutout to everyone out there who struggles to put their thoughts into words. You are not stupid; you are not failing; you are not incapable of speaking. Your mind is a complex universe and the thoughts you have are so important. I understand that it is frustrating when you cannot express your thoughts the way you want to express them, but it does not make them any less valid. They still exist, even if just in your head. They are proof that you are a creative human being with amazing ideas and opinions. Everyone has a different way of reflecting what is going on in their mind: speaking, writing, singing, drawing etc. And no matter who you are, you matter. It is all about finding what works for you, not what is expected of you. I see you. I hear you. And I love you.
In moments that you feel insignificant and worthless, I want you to remember that you are the centre of your life. Your life revolves around you. It is so easy to lose focus while working, being there for others, studying, etc. Yes, of course we are part of society and yes, of course we have friendships and relationships that are important, too. But the most important thing in your life is you. It is good to look at the big picture, but sometimes we can get very lost in it, which makes us feel small and unimportant. That is when you need to take a step back and focus more on yourself. It may sound absolutely selfish, but it isn’t, I promise, my love. You are not selfish for tending to the essential part of your life: you.
