I’m back…

My last post was taken almost a year ago, I left tumblr with hopes of recovery of my health and happiness. Which I achieved for a long time, many months of no longer worrying over calories or the number on the scale. Then I felt comfortable, to comfortable. In the past months I’ve noticed all the weight, the number rising, the puffy cheeks and swollen arms. And I sunk back in..

This is me ❤❤

I told my mom I’m going on a protein diet until school starts again (school starts in 3 weeks). She said she’ll support me through it, and help me out when it comes to meal planning. (Shes an angel I love her sm)

I kinda feel bad bcs I’m just gonna avoid eating as much as possible. It makes me feel like a liar.

Its stupid, I know lol.

If yall actually comment shit like this on skinny peoples posts then unfollow me please.

Imagine how they feel when they see comments like these… what the hell is wrong with you people????

I get it, you have an ed, I do too. But it doesn’t give you the right to comment stuff like this, its disrespectful as hell.

Having an ed doesn’t excuse you from being a shitty person.

How in the absolute hell do you purge… I get so scared of the thought of doing it even tho I know it’s not that big of a deal and I wont die from it if I do it once or twice…

I’ll be proud if I pull through lol

I’ve been losing somewhat consistently these past couple of weeks and I’m content with that, but I really want to push myself this week, just to see how much I can lose. I’ll try to fast one day and then eat around 300 cals on the next, plus I’ll add in a quick cardio workout and see how it goes. I’ll keep you guys updated. ✌

Cant believe I actually lost 20 pounds…

I did that

Got a long way to go but hey, I’m getting there.

(I know 20 pounds ain’t much to most people but I’m lowkey proud of it lol)

How to make green tea taste good.

I know a lot of yall are trying to start drinking green tea regularly because it’s good for your metabolism, but a lot of you guys dont like the taste of it.

Simply put, you’re most likely making it wrong lol.

Here’s how I make it:

1. The water shouldn’t be too hot when you pour it in the cup. It should be steamy but it shouldn’t boil!

2. Let the tea bag sit in the cup for 2 min max. After that it becomes bitter.

3. Put a teaspoon of honey in it. It makes a huge difference and it tastes so much better!

Good luck

Finally reached 160 pounds…. I havent seen that number in such a long time.

Wanna know something really sad?

Some of the people who own those deactivated ana accounts (that we reblog ana tips/meanspo/sweetspo from) actually died… because of their eating disorder.

That could be me tomorrow, or in a couple of weeks, or in a year or two. I could die from this, yet I dont seem to care.

I bet they thought the same thing as me rn and that’s scary af.

I dont get it.

A couple of months ago, while walking to school, I saw someone who went to primary school with me. It was a girl that used to make fun of me for being fat all the time, to the point where I had to go to the girls restroom in the middle of class just so I can cry and get away from here for a little bit.

She stopped me and said hi and was, surprisingly, very nice. Kindness was the last thing I expected from her tbh. So, anyway we talked for a couple of minutes discussing mundane things like, how are you, what school are you going to now, what’s it like there etc.

After those couple of minutes, we said our goodbyes and parted ways. All I could think about in that moment was: why did she talk to me and why was she so damn disgustingly nice?? Like girl, you legit made fun of me EVERY DAY.

Does she feel any remorse at all? Does she even care that her words have completely changed me as a person? Does she even care she indirectly caused my ed?

How do you just forget about something that you did that caused another person pain? How do you even sleep at night?

If I every reach an underweight bmi I will give myself a pass to maybe consider recovery. Atleast then I wont be an absolute joke lol

You dont really see people talking about the way eds make you behave and what effect it has on relationships….

Everything my family does, it pisses me off.

Everything my friends do, it pisses me off.

The people I love(d) the most piss me off so much rn. To the point where I think I hate them just because they exist… even though they did NOTHING wrong.

I just want to fight with everyone and everything and it’s so fucking exhausting…

The only satisfaction/happiness I get is from seeing the number on the scale go down… that’s it.

Which means, if I gain a pound or stay the same weight for a certain amount of time, it will make me absolutely miserable. It will make me want to just go to sleep and never wake up because the one thing that gives me happiness is not there.

I have nothing.

Necesito más tiempo para estudiar y menos para comer.

Llorar, sonreir. No comer, sonreir. Sentir dolor, sonreir. Vomitar, sonreir. Te cortas y sonries….. Estamos tan inmersos en nuestra mierda que se ha vuelto tan normal como una sonrisa… Incluso mas que una sonrisa.

18:15 y no he comido nada. Agua y cigarrillos ❤

I stopped making myself throw up only to replace it with me taking laxatives

i lost 10 lbs in a month just so that my dumbass would gain it all back in 2 weeks :’D

Sailor moon is thinspo and that’s facts