This bitch relapsed real bad. IMAGINE

I want a big butt and thin legs. I try to reach that now but it seems impossible for my body to look like this

i like looking fragile

i love the feeling of feeling empty. even when i exercise i need to take breaks, not because i’m out of breath but because my bones pressing into the floor hurts

Have y'all ever had a London Fog?

As in the drink, not the literal fog of london. It’s super good, here’s the low cal version I like to make:

ingredients for about 2 cups:

• 1-2 bags of earl grey tea (black tea works well too) - 0cal
• ½ cup of your preferred milk (I use unsweetened almond - 15cal)
• sugar free vanilla syrup to taste - 0cal
• driedlavender - 0cal

instructions:

1. Place your tea bag(s) and lavender into a cup. I don’t usually measure how much lavender I use, but it’s probably a little under 1 tablespoon.
2. Pour in your boiling water and brew your tea. I like to use 2 bags of earl grey tea, and i like to brew about 1.5 cups. I usually brew my tea for about 3-5 minutes, but you can leave your tea bags in for longer or shorter to change how strong the tea is.
3. Remove your tea bag(s) and lavender. If the lavender was lose in your cup you may want to strain it out.
4. Add your milk, and sweeten to taste with the vanilla syrup.
5. Enjoy!

if you don’t have a vanilla syrup, you can just use sugar (or any sweetener) and vanilla extract. Just be careful when adding the vanilla because the extract is very strong!

You can skip the lavender without ruining the drink, I know it’s not an herb that everybody has.

I went to the doctor last week and was prescribed ✨anti anxiety meds✨

BITCH

I started them on Tuesday and I’ve lost 7 pounds bc I feel so violently ill after taking them ☺️

Had no clue but apparently fasting/ restricting is causing my acid reflux to act up,, my throat is in so much pain I wanna die but I can’t eat more or stop fasting

Ate some rice and tofu today and work and I didn’t have time to purge afterwards,, it wasn’t that much but it still sucks :(

Can someone please send me meanspo or some advice I’m sick and tired of binging at work and then wondering why tf I gained weight or didn’t lose any at all

I work in a restaurant and what I used to do was eat a little and purge but then my coworker caught on and I’m too nervous to do it anymore

And half the time I end up drinking 2 or more energy drinks to suppress my appetite but then I’m hyped up and jittery for the rest of the day

Swimsuit

I was excited to buy a new swimsuit.

I chose a very cute one, peach colored, bare back, one piece. I haven’t used one in two years.

But when I tried it on, body dysmorphia knocked on the door: knock knock, you look deformed!

I notice every lump, every shape, every imperfection and they horrify me.

At that moment I saw a tear come out of my eyes. I took it off immediately. I told the saleswoman that it didn’t fit and almost ran out of the store.

When will I be able to try on clothes without feeling bad?

Any advice on how to get out from a baaaad binging episode?

Please

My mom bought cookies

I don’t know how to stop thinking about eating them.

I know that when I taste a single cookie, I’ll end up eating all of them.

I don’t want to binge.

What should I do?

Oh honey, do you want to go shopping?

I hate going to buy clothes.

When people ask me why I don’t like shopping, I tell them it’s because it bores me, but the truth is that when I go into a store, I’m excited to see all those dresses and skirts, but then when I see my reflection, I remember that my body doesn’t look the way I would like it to and that probably none of those clothes will look good on me.

Those thoughts make me want to cry and I get frustrated, I leave the store and come home with empty hands and an empty stomach I don’t want to fill.

Stay safe♡

Hack #15267

I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this:

I CAN’T EAT S L O W L Y

I usually eat very fast and I know that this influences the way my digestive system digests food, but I am so used to eating in that way, that the classic advice of “eat slower” doesn’t work for me.

First I have to get used to my mind, because it is a habit that I’ve ingrained from forever.

What I do to “train” my brain to eat slowly is to use the cutlery the other way around.

If I eat soup, I do it with a fork, if I eat chopped fruit, I do it with a spoon. In this way it is more difficult for me to eat and I do it slower and in fewer better bites, which psychologically makes me feel as if I had eaten a lot.

It may seem ridiculous at first, but it’s a small change that makes a big difference.

Pd. I only do it when I’m at home, because people might see it as something weird lol

Staysafe♡

omg i just found out why my ex best friends dropped me! it’s because i was being too “negative” all the time (aka depressed and literally suicidal) and she didn’t want to deal with me! because it’s not her responsibility! (her exact words btw) But when she was “depressed” i would talk with her for 2+ hours on the phone to make her feel better. the other one dropped me because me and my family “treated her like a pet” ???? what does that even mean. does she mean when we drove to her house at 10 at night to pick her up because she was having a panic attack? or does she mean the trip i took her on for my birthday? maybe she means when we took care of her for a week when my mom cleaned up her dogs shit and piss all over the floor. It’s like i treat people with the utmost respect and love. then they treat me like i’m some disgusting freak of nature. :P

just asked my guy friend if he wants to hang out with me for the first time (as friends) and he said “ew never” he knows i have no other friends. not gonna eat for the next 3 days. that shit burned. i’m not even attracted to him or anything. i’m just that repulsive i assume.

everything is going downhill lmao

that includes my weight

recoveringlesbian: