It’s five in the morning and I just looked up places to hide drugs so my boyfriend won’t know I have artificial sweeteners.

Ahahahahahahaha what the fuck brain.

activities to prevent binge!!

♡read a book while drinking green/black tea (or coffee)

♡ brainstorm ideas for a book / fanfic

♡ draw

♡ research interesting topics or study

♡ look at randon wikipedia articles you never heard before.

♡play with your pets

♡ go on a walk, take photos on the way too!!

♡Listen to music while reading/writing/drawing

♡make a poem/mashup something useful and can make you proud while wasting time

♡ take a bath / shower

♡ do a quick cycle

♡ talk to your friends

♡ look at thinspo

♡ clean your room

♡ help your parents with the chores

No food tomorrow

Only water or fruit juice from any type.

I told my mom I’m going on a protein diet until school starts again (school starts in 3 weeks). She said she’ll support me through it, and help me out when it comes to meal planning. (Shes an angel I love her sm)

I kinda feel bad bcs I’m just gonna avoid eating as much as possible. It makes me feel like a liar.

Its stupid, I know lol.

If yall actually comment shit like this on skinny peoples posts then unfollow me please.

Imagine how they feel when they see comments like these… what the hell is wrong with you people????

I get it, you have an ed, I do too. But it doesn’t give you the right to comment stuff like this, its disrespectful as hell.

Having an ed doesn’t excuse you from being a shitty person.

How in the absolute hell do you purge… I get so scared of the thought of doing it even tho I know it’s not that big of a deal and I wont die from it if I do it once or twice…

I’ll be proud if I pull through lol

I’ve been losing somewhat consistently these past couple of weeks and I’m content with that, but I really want to push myself this week, just to see how much I can lose. I’ll try to fast one day and then eat around 300 cals on the next, plus I’ll add in a quick cardio workout and see how it goes. I’ll keep you guys updated. ✌

Cant believe I actually lost 20 pounds…

I did that

Got a long way to go but hey, I’m getting there.

(I know 20 pounds ain’t much to most people but I’m lowkey proud of it lol)

How to make green tea taste good.

I know a lot of yall are trying to start drinking green tea regularly because it’s good for your metabolism, but a lot of you guys dont like the taste of it.

Simply put, you’re most likely making it wrong lol.

Here’s how I make it:

1. The water shouldn’t be too hot when you pour it in the cup. It should be steamy but it shouldn’t boil!

2. Let the tea bag sit in the cup for 2 min max. After that it becomes bitter.

3. Put a teaspoon of honey in it. It makes a huge difference and it tastes so much better!

Good luck

Finally reached 160 pounds…. I havent seen that number in such a long time.

Wanna know something really sad?

Some of the people who own those deactivated ana accounts (that we reblog ana tips/meanspo/sweetspo from) actually died… because of their eating disorder.

That could be me tomorrow, or in a couple of weeks, or in a year or two. I could die from this, yet I dont seem to care.

I bet they thought the same thing as me rn and that’s scary af.

I dont get it.

A couple of months ago, while walking to school, I saw someone who went to primary school with me. It was a girl that used to make fun of me for being fat all the time, to the point where I had to go to the girls restroom in the middle of class just so I can cry and get away from here for a little bit.

She stopped me and said hi and was, surprisingly, very nice. Kindness was the last thing I expected from her tbh. So, anyway we talked for a couple of minutes discussing mundane things like, how are you, what school are you going to now, what’s it like there etc.

After those couple of minutes, we said our goodbyes and parted ways. All I could think about in that moment was: why did she talk to me and why was she so damn disgustingly nice?? Like girl, you legit made fun of me EVERY DAY.

Does she feel any remorse at all? Does she even care that her words have completely changed me as a person? Does she even care she indirectly caused my ed?

How do you just forget about something that you did that caused another person pain? How do you even sleep at night?

If I every reach an underweight bmi I will give myself a pass to maybe consider recovery. Atleast then I wont be an absolute joke lol

You dont really see people talking about the way eds make you behave and what effect it has on relationships….

Everything my family does, it pisses me off.

Everything my friends do, it pisses me off.

The people I love(d) the most piss me off so much rn. To the point where I think I hate them just because they exist… even though they did NOTHING wrong.

I just want to fight with everyone and everything and it’s so fucking exhausting…

The only satisfaction/happiness I get is from seeing the number on the scale go down… that’s it.

Which means, if I gain a pound or stay the same weight for a certain amount of time, it will make me absolutely miserable. It will make me want to just go to sleep and never wake up because the one thing that gives me happiness is not there.

I have nothing.

Wanna know something cool? I’ve gained some weight these past couple of months and instead of panicking and fasting for days to get it all off in a week or so, I’ve made myself go into a healthy calorie deficit of 1500 a day and I’ve never felt better. I dont feel quilty about gaining weight anymore, and even tho theres still some fear present whenever I plan on stepping on the scale, i still do it and i remind myself that everything is going to be okay. I make sure I’m eating a good amount of protein every day, also this December I’ll start going to the gym and do some weight lifting to add some muscle which will make my weight loss journey even easier because having muscle burns more calories throughout the day. I’m excited. I’ll keep u guys updated.

Please read this.

I’m deleting tumblr, forever.

Why?

Because I’m sick of this, I’m sick of starving myself, I’m sick of wanting to look weak and frail, I’m sick of trying to be the perfect weight thinking it will make me happy.

It wont. Reaching your goal weight wont make you happy, being so sick and frail to the point where you cant even stand will not make you happy. It’s just gonna get worse and worse until one of your family members finds your lifeless, cold body on the floor.

For so fucking long I’ve thought that theres no other way, theres no other way to lose weight because nothing else worked. But that’s simply not true. There IS a better way, a way where you can feel energized and feel full and STILL lose weight in a healthy way. Plus, you’ll be able to workout and actually enjoy it and FEEL yourself becoming stronger day by day.

I promise you there is nothing better than feeling physically and emotionally strong. I mean, just imagine being able to lift 200 pounds, run 10 miles, doing 50 pushups in a row? Imagine the strength your body can possess. Just imagine what your body can do!

Please dont throw your body away. I know you think you cant do it. I feel the same a lot of the times. I mean, I’ve struggled with an ED for 5 years now, trust me I still have my doubts.

But you have to push through! Its going to be hard, and exhausting, and draining, but you CAN do it.

You just have to keep trying. Please.

I’m so tired of this shit… I restrict for 2 months, lose weight, get motivated, decide I want to lose weight in a healthy way bcs I’m tired of feeling like shit, it doesnt work, i gain weight, i feel like shit (mentally), I decide I’m going to restrict again, I fail in doing so because I cant control myself, i feel even more shitty….

It’s so pathetic. Like, just dont fucking eat it’s not that hard. Plus it’s the only way I’m actually gonna get results so I should just suck it up for 3-4 months and I’ll get there, to my goal weight. I mean, I’ll still be a sad pathetic bitch, but atleast I wont be fat.

So whenever I feel like sTarTiNg tO loSe WeiGht tHe hEaltHy wAy, I’m just gonna read this over and over again.

Tell me why I gained 7 POUNDS after 1 FRICKING BINGE. Are u serious rn?? It took me a week and a half to lose it and I gain it back in ONE DAY???

Someones trying to set me up.

Me when I find a post that tells me I deserve to eat and that I can eventually recover from my ED:

I’m 9 pounds away from hitting my second goal weight… we’re getting there folks

Slowly but surely

I’ve managed to not binge for a while and it’s making me lose a couple of pounds, which is good.

But I’ve noticed I’ve been a lot meaner to my friends for no reason and I’ve been a lot more impatient with them. It just makes me sad because I cant control it and I’m genuinely almost always angry. (Bcs I dont eat that much)

But hey, I gotta make some sacrifices along the way to stop looking like a pig. If I have to lose a couple of friends along the way… then I guess thats just gonna have to happen.

I reaaaaaaally regret not stretching before working out last night. My leg has been in a constant mild cramp this whole day…

Hopefully it gets better tomorrow lol.

P.S. If yall got any tips on how to lessen the pain it would be very much appreciated.

Hol’ up… so you’re telling me theres people in the world that actually managed to lose weight in a healthy way?! Without starving themselves???

What is this black magic you speak of?!