#comeback

“What sucks for Evgenia is that due to 3A being so strong, Kamila Valieva being the next star, and Alina coming back from her break, Evgenia has almost no chance at the Olympics because Eteri’s students get the ‘Eteri political bonus’ from the judges and the benefit of winning the slots from RusFed. I think she is screwed and that sucks.”

“What Chock/Bates have achieved since Pyeongchang is amazing. They came back from a difficult position (FD disaster, serious injuries, stagnating results, etc.), when so many people were rooting against them, and they’ve made it back to the top, defying the rules of ice dance. They proved the whole world wrong, and I hope they keep it going and get some type of medal in 2022, to show the ones that are still doubting them, even after the season they just had.”

Many people have different ways to cope with depression, anger, anxiety, fear.

My therapy is writing. Whether that be a poem or a short story. Sometimes even a jumble of words that may not make sense to anyone except me. My wish was to become an author but for some reason I can only fathom writing when I feel like I am trapped in my own mind. Here is what is on my mind.

“Why not me?”

“Why her?”

“This isn’t fair.”

love , abuse, over you.

For hundreds of days you controlled my mind. The depression of you leaving me was hard to handle, especially with me not being able to show my emotions. You left me after promising me your last name, that’s just a hurt that takes your breath away. I loved you more than I loved myself, and I often believe that’s where I messed up. But here I am, half a year later ready to say that I am okay, and you no longer control my life. You often cross my mind but my heart doesn’t ache anymore, I loved you more than you’ll ever be loved but you didn’t feel the same, even though you said you did. You were the most beautiful devil that could possibly have entered my life. It’s crazy to say that months ago I would have died for you when you wouldn’t even have given me air if I was in a bottle. I find myself reminiscing about all of the fun memories we have but I’m slowly making better memories with someone else, I know that I’ll find someone that loves me. So I’m okay, and I loved you and now I don’t. I still may always feel broken when I look at you though. I’m not the same person that I was when I was sleeping in the same bed as you.

If I ever start missing you for some crazy reason I just remember the bruises you left upon my skin. You don’t deserve any love from a heart that you destroyed.

Holy shit I haven’t posted on her since the porn-pocalypse. Not that I ever did NSFW on here but I moved to Instagram and it went well for me there. I saw an artist I really like and follow on all her socials is still active on here and I figured I lose nothing with posting my recent stuff on this blog.

I think I want to take a more casual / authentic approach and actually lean in to the nature of what blogging is. I think having a safe space to be creative in different ways will do me good. I already have an ArtStation so I don’t really need to make this blog a portfolio site.

Expect a combination of written posts, art and maybe even videos. I want to start exploring other creative outlets besides drawing.

I first got tumblr ten years ago as of a few months ago and fizzled out of using it during university and y’know what, fuck it, I’m making a comeback

recommendation of the day

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LEE HI - HOLO

I want to talk about this song for a second. This is a literal masterpiece and when Chungha said this song gives her goosebumps and that her reaction wasn’t fake, SHE REALLY MEAN IT. As soon as it started, the song sounded sad, very sad as it cheers you up beat by beat, and minutes passed it is a really comforting song. Also, I just listened to the song for once and I love it, directly, DIRECTLY not to forget the fact I remembered the beat of the song too ASAP. Quite rare. Thank you AOMG for taking her. Thank you LEE HI for still making comforting musics for us. LOVE YOU, KEEP GOING.

BLACKPINK - Kill This Love.

JISOO X ROSÉ ’s PART CAPTION.

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