How wonderful it must feel to be skinny, to feel comfortable in your own skin. To wear short pants without your thighs rubbing, to wear crop tops and have a flat stomach, to be able to wear a bikini without worrying about back rolls, to be able to wear normal sized clothes like oversized sweaters. To be able to be with someone and not feel like they’re embarrassed. Being light enough to be carried.
I’m the family disappointment, the embarrassment. The ugly little sister. The fat friend. The one who wears a smile throughout the entire day only to cry myself to sleep every night.
Why did I have to be born so ugly? Like why do some other people get to be beautiful and skinny and smart while I have to be this ugly short fat stupid pig.
I have been attempting to lose weight since August 31st when I started at 190 lbs.
I was doing good at first and even got down to 180 lbs towards the middle of September, but lately things have hit the fan.
I’ve been sick, I’ve had to deal with my problematic family (extended family), and this past week I’ve been binging like it’s no ones business.
I feel like such a failure.
I have still been going to the gym this whole time (minus the two weeks I was sick) and now I’m back at 188 lbs :((. I was hoping to lose at least 20 pounds before a wedding I’m attending Oct 23 but I don’t think that’ll happen :((. I will still try and post results!!
