I never thought this little passion project of mine would reach a 100-follower mark. I truly cannot believe that less than a month after the previous celebratory post, it passed the 200 follower mark. Thank you so much, I really appreciate your interest!
I wanted to use this opportunity to echo what is stated in the header of this blog - I am very, very open to asks and suggestions. If there’s a particular topic of interest that is not represented in the library, or just a meta question you have been curious about - I would LOVE to see if I can be of help! There are oodles of saved posts that I have not had the opportunity to curate yet, and the order in which they find their place in the library is largely arbitrary and very flexible.
I have also been considering taking an occasional diversion from the usual meta, and making a post of favorite reply quotes. Sometimes in reading the hundreds of comments on meta threads I run into replies or tags that may not be strictly meta, but are so funny or smartly worded or otherwise incredibly awesome. Also sometimes meta writers come up with sentences so striking that I have to drop what I’m doing and take a pause until the feels pass. I try to save these quotes - I feel like they deserve a special mention too. Of course, this is entirely subjective, but… would that be cool?
Ok there’s tons of cute art and fic and metas our there connecting Crowley’s past as a star maker to the star he wanted to run away to and the romance of Alpha Centauri being two stars that orbit each other and it’s all really sweet, but I can’t help thinking…
Y’all know Alpha Centauri is a triple star system right?
Alpha Centauri A (Rigil Kentaurus), Alpha Centauri B (Toliman) and Alpha Centauri C (Proxima Centauri).
A and B form the super romantic pairing.
C is a red dwarf, orbits much farther out (closer to Earth), isn’t visible to the naked eye, and is the one that actually has confirmed planets in the habitable zone.
Like, I honestly don’t know what romantic thing you can do with this information but i honestly love the sort of angsty/unrequited romance feel of it which doesn’t seem like a good fit for this ship (more of an OT3 thing? Or some kind of identity thing idk?) but I’m just saying if anyone pulls it off idk tag me and I’ll name a cat after you in the future.
i looked into alpha centauri because i was interested in the potential meaning of that choice as the place he wanted to run off to, and i noticed the triple star system fact as well. to my mind the red dwarf would represent earth for them - it’s the thing that united them in the first place and that allows them to continue to be together, but it fades into the background compared to their relationship to each other. i think the fact that crowley suggests they run off together to be there reinforces that concept. even though the earth is an intrinsic part of their connection (as the dwarf is an intrinsic part of this star system), when it comes down to it, it’s so much less important to crowley than his relationship to aziraphale that he would abandon the whole planet to be with him (as the dwarf is so dim in comparison to the binary stars that it’s invisible). but visibility - i.e. crowley’s perspective - is not the only thing that matters. there’s a practical reality beneath what is clear to the viewer. if the dwarf were removed from the system, the whole thing would be unstable and it could not survive. if aziraphale and crowley did abandon the earth, their lives and relationship would fundamentally change in a similarly unsustainable way. they’d be on an empty world, forever hiding in fear, with literally nothing but each other. they’d be alive but not living. they couldn’t be happy, and ultimately they would probably be found and destroyed anyways.
the only solution is to maintain all three, and two of them can continue to feel much more important, but they do need the third to stay together. which is how things work out for him and aziraphale in the end.
i think this is probably just me stretching to make the analogy work, but it’s fun to find meaning in these little things, whether it was intentional or not.
Select additional comments:
@aethelflaedladyofmerciacomment: @mochacoffee idk sounds like a pretty solid metaphor to me we often ignore how the Earth, the city, the cultures they live in have shaped them into who they are. They are what humanity has made of them.
my cat seems unimpressed tho so I don’t think she’ll be willing to be named after you.
@ambular-dcomment: Hm. I think the third one would be God. Out of sight, keeping an eye on them, exerting an influence, but basically staying out of their way.
@rudyrose365reply: Wait. There’s an invisible third force orbiting around our romantic pairing, gravitationally acting them, and maybe creating life?
@tickety-boo-afreply: On a less metaphorical level, the fact that there are potentially habitable planets in that system makes it seem like less of a dumb choice to run off to. Sure, it’s abandoning earth’s humanity for the sake of each other, but maybe there are other life forms they can coexist with? And their corporations might not be useless there?
@chonaku-things comment: for me, it is earth, because it is the second love of crowley and aziraphale
@alviepines comment: Third star is their new adopted son, Adam. And/or their other son, Warlock.
Okay, so this fandom gets a lot of mileage out of Crowley getting comendation for things he isn’t even responsible for, and then the resulting angst when he has to go and check out ‘his’ work— but have we considered whether this ever happened to Aziraphale? After all, we see in the show that Heaven isn’t above the morally dubious, and there’s no reason why Aziraphale’s superiors wouldn’t assume he was the same.
Imagine him getting a commendation every time he’s in the wrong right area for a martyrdom, or a holy war, or— hell, why not an inquisition? Who’s to say that Heaven and Hell 100% agree on what counts as good or evil all the time?
Imagine him standing in a burning town, having just recieved a letter from Gabriel about how happy Heaven is to hear that people have been spreading Her religion to the local populace. “Good work, Aziraphale! Glad to see you’re finally acting like a proper angel and giving up all this namby-pamby peace and love nonsense! Keep it up!”
Imagine him having to witness centuries of blood and burning and bodies and not being able to talk about it to anyone— not even Crowley, because when you’re watching an atrocity and trying to persuade yourself that this is not only tolerable but somehow good, somehow right, the last person you need is the Demon of Constant Uncomfortable Questions.
(And anyway, a voice in his head that sounds a lot like Gabriel snidely reminds him, that’s probably the reason he can’t understand it. A Proper Angel™️ who didn’t waste time putting food and drink into his corporation, or playing around with books, or hanging around with demons— an angel like that would be able to make sense of this.)
Imagine later on, when the human perspective on some of these events changes, and Heaven follows suit. Aziraphale making one too many suggestions during a meeting and getting shut down with “well yeah, we would listen to you Aziraphale, but then remember that time you came up with that whole Crusades thing? That didn’t turn out so well, did it?” Imagine him brushing it off and pushing down the feelings of unfair, unfair, unfair, because Good Angels don’t question that sort of thing. Clearly he’s just made a mistake somewhere.
Imagine him post-apocalypse, finally being able to admit out loud to himself that Heaven wasn’t always right. (Imagine him finally having the courage to tell Crowley about it and getting to listen to several centuries worth of ranting about Heaven with a clear conscience— along with a side rant about “why the fuck didn’t you tell me, angel? I told you about the Inquisition!” “Yes, well… that was rather different, my dear.”)
I’m just saying, we’re really missing a trick here and… damn, now I kind of want to write this.
In that deleted scene where he’s getting ready to open the bookshop he’s given a medal for his 'devotion to Earth and duty’ but it sort of feels like an afterthought when Aziraphale expresses that he doesn’t want to go back to Heaven. As if he can be placated after being ignored for millennia with a pat on the head. (And he’s probably so starved for positive attention from Heaven that’s no doubt why we see him wear it on his vest ever after.) I’ll have to re-read though that scene with this in mind bc it is a very valid take.
After all Crowley does say ‘everyone stretches the truth in memos to head office a bit, you know that!’ And Aziraphale, angel of the Eastern Gate, lying liar who lies, mildly agrees with him without directly implicating himself of doing the same. (’Yes, but you told them..’)
P.S. Bonus -replyfrom@big-edies-sun-hat: I did the thing. I had been wanting to put up a series of ficlets (on no schedule whatsoever) about various awful ideas the two of them had throughout history. Herein, a ficlet in which Aziraphale gets an award for Prohibition.
okay but contrast episode 1 where Aziraphale instinctively looks to his left in the sushi shop (because Crowley is always on the left when he isn’t orbiting or driving) and is surprised to find Gabriel on his right
Compare to Episode 3 in Mesopotamia thousands of years earlier
Aziraphale looks to his right because he’s expecting someone from Heaven. Perhaps as support, perhaps for the reprimands they love to give, but it’s Crowley who’s decided to show up. Look at his hands. He’s so nervous! Maybe he’d hoped someone was going to come tell him it was all called off? (Was he praying? It’s almost that shape)
After this scene, in Golgatha, Aziraphale is a little surprised to see Crowley, but not to the degree that he was in Mesopotamia. Just the general surprise of seeing a casual acquaintance. He looks forward, unable to look away from the execution. He doesn’t even think of looking to the right. He barely glances in Crowley’s direction either, but it seems like between the flood and Golgatha Aziraphale has given up on expecting any sort of Heavenly support or backup. He’s alone on Earth.
Except along the way he becomes reliant on Crowley. The Arrangement. He can always count on Crowley to be at his side. His left hand man-shaped being. He was neglected and left alone so long he forgot there was even the possibility Heaven might pop in for a surprise visit.
I was thinking about the Mesopotamia scene, in particular when one of the Unicorns decides to leg it;
Nope, this isn’t about how no one listens to Crowley, or how (adorably) Crowley hasn’t the foggiest about mammalian reproduction (and, I mean, I know I said ‘meta’ but I’m not sure this post even qualifies as a meta tbh).
Everyone and their Granny knows David Tennant is Scottish.
Something that everyone and their Granny might not know is that the national animal of Scotland is the Unicorn.
“…God does not pay dice with the universe. I play an ineffable game of my own devising. For everyone else, it’s like playing poker in a pitch-dark room, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won’t tell you the rules and who smiles all the time.“
I feel like we don’t give God enough credit for telling us exactly who she is with this line. Yes, it’s funny and said in a breezy Frances McDormand voice, but it’s also kind of terrifying. That game does not sounds like a fun game for anyone but God, for whom it’s probably hilarious. And I think this really sets the tone for God in Good Omens (the TV series, at least).
Good Omens opens up the possibility that God is cruel. She is, at the very least, indifferent to a lot of human suffering, and is sometimes in the business of causing it. Her punishments are harsh, indiscriminate and irreversible. This is a God who drowns children to make a point. She admits that her creations fear her, and does not seem to have a problem with that. She’s capricious with damnation and forgiveness. (Crowley fell for asking a few questions and hanging out with the wrong crowd; Aziraphale straight up gives his flaming sword away and that’s fine.) She doesn’t seem to mind that her angels behave horrifically, from mundane bullying up to summary execution.
She is not merciful. She provides no answers, not even to the faithful. She does not come to the aid of those who call on her. Crowley tells Aziraphale that he shouldn’t count on God to come and fix things, and he’s right. At times, God seems downright sadistic. (Think about the plant scene as some kind of traumatic reenactment of Crowley being cast out of Heaven. Then think about the fact that God herself is narrating this scene in a tone of detached amusement. That’s fucked up!)
One of the reasons that Crowley is such a sympathetic character is that he asks the same questions that any person who has both faith and compassion would ask. (The idea that a demon is the moral center of the story is a think for another post.) If God is all-powerful and all-knowing, why is there so much suffering in the world? Is God actively causing the suffering? Why? Does she just not care? Why doesn’t she make it stop?
@inthroughthesunfroof reply: You said what I’ve been thinking, just, much more beautifully. I don’t know what Pratchett and Gaiman’s religious beliefs are, beyond both having a strong humanist streak. Good Omens doesn’t read like an athiest work, it reads like someone wrestling with the fundamental question that all Christians run into: Given an all-knowing and all-powerful God whom we are told literally is love, why does suffering exist? Why does this suffering exist? How can our God be so cruel?
It’s a question that has broken many people’s faith, including mine. Good Omens doesn’t pretend to answer why, but it does answer so now what with a resoundingly humanist perspective. Whether or not God loves us, whatever that means, the only reasonable way for us to live is to love each other.
It’s a surprisingly biblical answer. Matthew 22:36-40:
36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a]38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
If the God of the Bible is real, I don’t know if They’ll forgive a loss of faith. I hope They won’t be too disappointed if people who fail to follow the first commandment hang onto the second.
@ilarualreply: This is such a good post, and really articulates a lot of the thoughts that serve as the backdrop for basically all my readings of the lead characters of GO (both the immortals and the humans). The point is not: is God there? will God save us? Instead, the point is: it is imperative that we assume that there will be no divine intervention, and that it is up to us to work our own interventions.
It’s interesting to me that the human characters do not seem to give a fuck about God. Adam and the Them care about their world, and they care about protecting it regardless of what anyone, divine or otherwise, has to say about it. Anathema, likewise, isn’t interested in anyone’s guidance but Agnes’s. As for Tracy and Shadwell and Newt… they’re just along for the ride, they’re not worried about big theological questions. They’re just humans, messy, lovely, ridiculous humans who are just Doing Their Best when they find themselves in extraordinary circumstances. And all of them have no truck with any Great Plan, whether it’s God’s or anyone else’s— the human characters just want their planet left in one piece. Humanity’s responsible for wrecking it, and humanity’ll be responsible for fixing it, thank you very much. It’s only Heaven and Hell who have any real investment in what God wants or doesn’t want. Squabbling children who are still, after millennia, vying for Mom’s attention no matter how silent and indifferent She may be.
And as for our show-stealing leads…
Obviously Aziraphale’s entire journey over the course of the story is about finally giving up the ghost and accepting what he’s known to be true, in his heart of hearts, for awhile now: God isn’t coming to help you. God isn’t going to tell you what the right thing to do is. You need to do for yourself, you need to speak for yourself, you need to take action, because if you don’t, then who will? Aziraphale’s story is about recognizing that maybe God really does have a plan for all this, but maybe it’s cruel and unjust. And, not knowing what the plan is, if there is one, it is imperative that we step up and act with radical kindness, because to do otherwise is unthinkable.
Crowley… well… OP said it all. Crowley understands this. He is the only character in the entire series that actually addresses God directly, and we know She hears him. She sees, She hears, and there’s a distinct possibility that Crowley and Aziraphale were Her answer all along, but whether that’s the case or not, She’s not telling. And that indifferent silence? Crowley knows that’s cruelty, and that’s why Crowley so thoroughly rejects the false dichotomy of Heaven and Hell. He knows, has known for millennia, that it’s all bullshit. And he knows Aziraphale knows it too, it’s just a matter of getting to admit it.
In the novel, we’re left with absolute silence from God. Maybe God is there, maybe not, but ultimately it doesn’t really matter because we’ve got to take care of each other regardless. But in the show? God is there, God is watching, and God is a smug asshole.
It would be easy to confuse omniscience, omnipotence, and omnipresence with perfection. But God, it is said, created humanity in Her own image, and if you look at what humanity is like, capable of both extraordinary good and extraordinary evil… well, I think that says just as much about God as it does about us.
#god is human but on a cosmic scale #is basically my praxis both within the context of GO and within the context of just like… religion in general #either god is imperfect & fallible or god is unceasingly cruel #it’s up to the individual to decide which interpretation they can live with
@pisces-atdcomment: also worth noting the somewhat humorous line in the end of the series, in which gabriel states “god does not play games with the universe” and crowley responds “where have you been?” crowley and aziraphale have been living on earth for so long that they’ve SEEN things. think about it: they were the only ones actually THERE right before God literally drowned everyone except for Noah and his family. they’ve seen the type of things god is responsible for. every time aziraphale says “god’s plans are ineffable”, crowley is right there to jump in and ask “why?” which honestly is probably what got him thrown out of Heaven in the first place. eventually, aziraphale stops saying that. he never truly turns his back on heaven, not until the very end, but that’s not because he LOVES heaven or even god. he keeps his foot in the door out of fear. and crowley never truly aligns with hell, but he’d rather be on his own side with aziraphale than ever go back to heaven and work for god again. being on earth for so long, crowley and aziraphale side with the humans more than anyone else. they question hell and heaven, and more importantly, they question god. there’s literally a scene in crowleys office when he’s talking upwards, toward god, and asking “why? why does it have to be this way?” the angels and demons never ask, because for the most part they don’t CARE. the ineffable/great plan is just about a power struggle to them. also worth mentioning that god, in this situation, is about as chaotic as a 13 year old angsts fanfic writer. loving the beauty of suffering for the sake of the story, loving the heart wrenching plot twists, loving to panic and fear and chaos caused by her “ineffable” plan. fine in writing, evil when playing with the lives of real beings. but god has never seen it that way, in the same way angels and demons don’t value human life. I mean, they don’t really give a shit about killing 7 billion humans (not to mention the plants and animals) and of course, to mirror the scene in crowleys office where he’s speaking towards the ceiling to god, there’s a scene later where aziraphale literally calls god and asks to speak with her directly. both of them asking the same thing: “why? does there really need to be a war? can we stop this?” in conclusion: god is cruel and aziraphale and crowley are the only two on either side who understand this concept.
Alright, listen up kids, I did not endure 10 years of Catholic school and still end up a gay atheist for you guys to miss the absolute brilliance of this scene.
Do you know what is considered the absolute worst sin? I’m not talking the seven deadly sins or even mortal sin. I’m talking eternal sins, the unforgivable sins.
The absolute worst sin is believing that one’s evil is beyond God’s forgiveness.
Let that sink in for a moment.
It sounds crazy. How could it be worse than murder? Genocide?
Because it is a rejection of God.
The central belief of Christianity is that God IS love. This love is so powerful that it brought everything into existence. It is free and unconditional and infinite. Believing that your evil cannot be forgiven is not believing in what God is.
Now, unforgivable sounds like a contradiction. If God is all giving and this love is free and unconditional, how could any sin not be forgiven? This comes down to the nature of love.
Love must be freely chosen. It cannot be coerced. And so the only thing stopping someone from existing in that love is choosingto be separate from it.
Crowley didn’t fall because of questions or hanging out with the wrong people. God didn’t smite him and send him to the pits of the underworld because Crowley was unsure about the divine plan. He fell because HE believed he was unforgivable.
@mylastvowreply: Following that line of thought (and I very much support the arguments OP makes here aka Crowley didn’t fall because of questions or hanging out with the wrong people… He fell because HE believed he was unforgivable.), is that also the reason why Aziraphale didn’t fall?
I mean Zira did a number of things that were clearly against the rules of heaven. He gave away his flaming sword first chance he gets and he lies about it to every one (including God, excluding Crowley btw). He fraternises with the enemy, going on clandestine meetings with Crowley. And we know heaven knows about these meetings. They have pics and Michael is even asking to look into this matter. He conspires with the demon Crowley to stop Armageddon and so on. Lots of things that could get you cast out of heaven if you ask me. Lots of sins here.
But he never falls. He isn’t cast out of heaven for his sins, for his doubts or his questions. Because Zira firmly believes in God’s love and in forgiveness.
I tend to see Crowley not so much thinking that he is unforgivable as such, but rather, thinking that God won’t forgive him, that she can’t forgive him. That is, it isn’t a self-esteem problem of thinking that he is so evil and awful that even a loving God can’t forgive him. Rather, I think Crowley doubts God’s love itself. It is God who is at fault for not being loving enough. He seems to see God as quite manipulative and uncaring not loving at all. We see his questioning multiple times, and he is always questioning the morally of God’s plan eg “you can’t kill kids” or “you shouldn’t test them to destruction”. It reminds me of the old philosophical argument of the problem of evil. In essence, the argument goes - evil exists in the world- children die etc. therefore it can’t be the case that God exists, is all powerful and is perfectly loving. An all powerful, perfectly loving God wouldn’t let kids die. Except, Crowley already knows for certain that God exists and is all powerful and is literally doing the killing of kids. Therefore - her love must be questioned. So, yeah I absolutely agree that he fell for doubting God’s love. But I think he actually directly questioned her love itself, he didn’t get there via low self-worth. That’s why Aziraphale’s “I forgive you” doesn’t seem to affect Crowley, doesn’t seem to be personally meaningful to him. At least, to me it seems that he’s just frustrated by it, frustrated that Aziraphale doesn’t get it. He isn’t asking for redemption from God or Aziraphale. He’s asking Aziraphale to stop playing by Heaven’s rules and get in the damn car. I hope this makes sense!
@anotherhappydinosaurreply: Yes yes yes! This is what I meant. Not that it was a self worth issue, but that believing that she isn’t completely all-loving was doubting what she is. I just think it’s a fascinating dichotomy because both Aziraphale and Crowley are questioning the plan, both are acting against their superiors’ orders, both have done a lot of things I’d classify as morally gray, but one has full faith in infinite love, indiscriminate love. And to me, Crowley talking to God and asking these questions and saying that he didn’t mean to fall shows that he hasn’t quite given up entirely on the idea of God’s love, that he wants to be convinced that her love is unfailing and unconditional. It’s the whole faith/reason paradox, which is a whole other post.
And you’re totally right that the “I forgive you” itself was a bit of a throwaway moment that didn’t mean much to Crowley, but I see its power in revealing this fundamental difference between Crowley and Aziraphale.
I love this commentary! I wrote this post in a fit of inspiration last night without fully editing it and I think you touched on a lot of things that were there in my head and never made it to the page :P
@letsveganlovecomment: I thought he only thought he was unforgivable AFTER his fall, though.
I want to talk about how dedicated Aziraphale is to saving the world.Because despite his initial reluctance, the moment Aziraphale agrees to prevent Armageddon – that is his top priority.
One of Aziraphale’s defining characteristics is his commitment. While Crowley is notable for changing (his clothes, hair, gender, name, species) and for questioning (Heaven, Hell, the Almighty, Satan); Aziraphaleis notable for sticking with things (with angels, books, clothes, hair, ultimately Earth & a certain demon). That loyalty is why it takes him so long to turn against Heaven.
Yes, Aziraphale’s arc islearning to question* and break that blind loyalty…but his commitment and faith aren’tportrayed as inherently bad things, they’re also vital to stopping Armageddon.
(*Well it’s more admitting his questions tbh, because that rebellious angel been quietly doubting since Eden).
Once Aziraphale’s aboard the Antichrist plan, he’s not just following Crowley’s lead – he’s pushing forward of his own volition. When they discover they have the wrong boy, Aziraphale doesn’t shrug and go “we tried, back to Heaven with me” the way you’d expect an initially reluctant conscript to – he keeps trying.
He’s the one who suggests going to Warlock’s birthday party, he comes up with hospital idea, he proposes using other humans to find Adam and offers his agents. At the end of it all, he produces the winning ‘Great plan’ argument and rallies against Satan when Crowley wavers.
Caveat: “It’s the Great Plan Crowley” – his lies to Crowley and himself.
Of course, where Aziraphale seems to falter (breaking all our hearts in the process) is that goddamn bandstand scene – “There is no our side.”
But like, even when Aziraphale appears to be giving up and supporting the war….he really isn’t. While he’s loudly preaching about the great plan out front; in the back he’s tracking down Adam and appealing to Heaven to stop things. Aziraphale’s commitment doesn’t change, but he employs different tactics when he realises the original Antichrist plan has failed, and he’s scared and he pushes Crowley away.
Of course, lying to Crowley and trusting Heaven was wilfully misguided. And he realises that.
But that brings me to the biggest point –
When finally faced with Heaven or humanity Aziraphale doesn’t hesitate
Aziraphale spends so much of the series convincing himself he can save humanitywith Heaven, can stay loyal to his superiors and to earth, and histwo belief systems will line up neatly.
And it takes him so, so long – literally from the voice of God itself – to realise that’s wrong.
This post talks about moment with Metatron when Aziraphale realises Heaven (and he thinks God) doeswant the war . And fuck, it’s heartbreaking.
What’s noticeable from then on though? There’s never anydeliberation on Aziraphale’s part about supporting Heaven. There’s no “oh maybe the Almighty is right,” “maybe I should join the other angels,” “well, if everyone else agrees, maybe I’m in the wrong.” He throws aside his previous dithering and doubts.
If Heaven doesn’t agree with him on saving Earth, then that is it.
When he realises he can’t have both; it’s the world or Heaven – he goes with humanity. Without flinching. Without hesitation. Because that’s been his priority since he and Crowley shook on it eleven years ago.
Mere minutes after facing the truth, Aziraphale rejects Heaven in the most badass way possible, complete with yelling at other angels and possessing people.
There’s a great meta from@ilarual about just how ballsy Aziraphale’s rebellion against Heaven was, and about how he finally let loose all the doubts he’d been supressing for 6000 years. To quote:
Basically, Aziraphale backflips out of Heaven with both middle fingers in the air, and frankly I think it’s amazing.
In comparison to Crowley
Now obviously Crowley is also committed to saving humanity. Obviously. He came up with the original Antichrist plan, pleads with God over everything, argues with Aziraphale and drove through literal fire.
(And Crowley doesn’t hesitate either – his instant reaction to the Antichrist is pure horror and it takes him less than a car ride to be on the phone to Aziraphale and concocting his thwarting scheme).
However,from when they discover they have the wrong child, Crowley is making back-up plans. He’s ready to run away to Alpha Centuari and leave humanity to it.
Partly that’s because, unlike Aziraphale, he doesn’t have the information about Adam – but Crowley was flagging before that.
On route to Tadfield, its Aziraphale offering suggestions to find the Antichrist and Crowley blocking him. (“And then what? And then what?”). After the convent visit failed, Crowley’s basically sulking over Aziraphale’s ideas – which Aziraphale does not stand for a minute tbh. (“Do you have a better idea? A single better idea?”) And even later on its Aziraphale, not Crowley, who commits to killing Adam.
To be clear, I am in no way judging Crowley for doubting they’d succeed and planning to run. He’s not obliged to help Earth, the fact he even tried was incredibly selfless. There’s a brilliant piecefrom@theniceandaccurategoodomensblog on how much Crowley was risking to stop Armageddon and how his escape plan was justified.
Him preventing the war was always against Hell’s plans and put him in the line of fire, whereas Heaven at least pretended to support Aziraphale efforts.
Plus, Crowley was right in knowing that the two of them wereon their own and not to trust Heaven, which Aziraphale didn’t get. Crowley benefits from Aziraphale’s will & determination, while Aziraphale benefits from Crowley clear-eyed view of the world.
In the end
Ofc Aziraphale and his steadfastness and the importance of all that, culminates when Satan storms onto the scene.
Because when Crowley does falter (“we are fucked”), it’s Aziraphale’s determination that keeps them going (“We can’t give up now.”) Because, just to say it again – when Aziraphale commits to something he commits.
It’s this incredible full circle moment from Crowley persuading Aziraphale to stop the Antichrist, to Aziraphale pushing Crowley to stand against Satan. And fuck, that’s beautiful.
And now, post-series, now Aziraphale has abandoned Heaven, he’s 100% going to put his trademark commitment and dedication and devotion into his new side. His side with Crowley.
Tldr: While Crowley was the one who initially persuaded Aziraphale, from then on saving humanity was Aziraphale’s top priority: Even while he denied it, even over Heaven, even to the point of encouraging Crowley. Because Aziraphale loves and commits with everything in him – and that saved the world.
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@whispsofwindreply: A thing I really like about Crowley and Aziraphale is how complementary they are to each other.
Crowley is constantly moving. He has clever schemes and has already thought about plan B, C and D while he’s still executing plan A. He is ever changing, always trying to stay one step ahead of everything.
Aziraphale, on the other hand, is steadfast. Once he finds something he likes, he sticks with it and doesn’t see the need to change. Once he starts something, he commits and finishes it. Plan A is getting done one way or another.
Without Aziraphale as a constant, Crowley would be untethered, with nothing to give him stability. Without Crowley to give him a good push, Aziraphale would stagnate, never daring to get in motion.
Together though, Crowley can push them both into action and Aziraphale can keep them on track. They work better as a unit than they do apart, and it’s amazing.
It’s unstoppable force meets immovable object, and instead of crashing and burning they both come out better for it.
Let’s estimate how heavy is the rock that Aziraphale is lifting in the garden of eden’ scene. Based on the footage we have, I will approximate its shape to a trapezoidal base prism (more specifically, its base is a trapezoid rectangle).
To discover the base measurements, I will use this scene (because is the one where he is closer to the stone, minimizing camera effects) and Mr. Sheen height (1,78m) to do some pixel measurements.
Some math later and using the fact that two edges of the rock accompanies the junction of the larger stones I managed to get the height and smaller base of the rock, but I still needed the other side and the bigger base.
Forthis, I measured the angle shown. With these informations and trigonometry, I concluded these are the base’s measurements. Now, for its depth (this one was hard and probably the source of possible errors), we need some considerations.
Based on other scenes from the wall, we can safely say that this stone does not represent its thickness. However, we can see the inside of the wall, which is made of three to five layers of pre cut blocks.
I am assuming, now, that Aziraphale’s stone has the depth equivalent of the first outside layer that we see, since antique stone constructions don’t use mortar and the piece could fairly “break” in that spot.
Thanks to our adorable Eve, we have a scene to make some pixel measurement using her hand as reference (an average woman hand has a length of 17,27cm) and I concluded that the stone’s length is 28cm.
Using the right volume formula, the result is V=0,03087m^3.
Now, we need to estimate its density. According to some proposed locations, the garden of eden is in southern Mesopotamia (now Iraq). Based on the book “Ancient Mesopotamian Materials and Industries: The Archaeological Evidence”-Peter Roger Stuart Moorey, the primary construction stones of this region is limestone and gypsum.
The density of limestone (the most probable one) is 2711kg/m^3, which results in a weight of 83,69kg for our little angel to lift.
To sum up, Aziraphale is lifting approximately 83,69kg (184,5 pounds) without using any knee technique and without even looking discomfortable. Maybe the buff angel we see in the storyboards is not so off, after all.
Yup. While Aziraphale dropped the buffness in order to be more cuddly he kept the strength :).
storyboard:
(btw. for completely unrelated reasons I googled how much David Tennant weighs. It’s 80 kg :) - less than the rock)
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(For scientific purposes - the remainder of the comments conveyed that
math skills are highly attractive,
Aziraphale being strong is highly attractive,
this fandom would like more fanfiction that features Crowley just getting picked up and carried away by the Angel in question, among other things)
@kayasurinreply: More importantly - that’s not a struggle. He’s moving normally. He’s not straining. He’s putting about the same amount of effort I do into a ten pound weight. Which means he can lift heavier stuff.
@jabberwockypie reply: This math is very impressive but I counter: Why would an embodied angel need to be buff to lift a heavy thing?
Crowley can drive a car that’s on fire because he Believes hard enough that he can.
I suggest that they just sort of take things like “how bodies work” as suggestions. He can lift it because he needs to, and because there’s no reason he feels he shouldn’t be able to. (And at certain points, angels are described as being thousands of meters tall. Presumably they’re a lot more *condensed* in a human-ish body, but why *shouldn’t* he be able to lift it? Theoretically wings that size shouldn’t allow for a human-sized being to fly, either, but they do, which suggests that there’s more to it than the simple capabilities of bones and muscles.)
After all, for all the food and wine they drink, I suspect they don’t use the bathroom either. (Would you poop or pee if you had the option to just kind of will it away into energy? ESPECIALLY if you had existed for thousands of years before the advent of indoor plumbing?)
@lynatireply: Well, book Crowley did have to get up in the middle of his decades-long nap to use the lavatory, but he may have just been too sleep muddled to remember that he didn’t *have* to.
Both the book and the show do make it clear that they aren’t limited by their physical corporations when they don’t want to be, but what is less clear is how limited they are when they aren’t actively ignores the laws of matter and physics and whatnot. Do they have physical limits that they have to be actively putting- and I know it’s a loaded phrase these days- an effort into in order to bypass, or are their bodies merely human-shaped suggestions?
Both canons mention discorporation, and how inconvenient it is, so it sounds that if they suffer massive damage to their physical selves they can’t just snap their remaining fingers and put that damage instantly to rights.
Honestly, I love the fact that we don’t have a single answer to what interpretation is “right,” because it gives us a much broader variety of narrative direction in fic whenever that question becomes a plot point.
Aziraphale getting beheaded by guillotine means his body was kaput, and he’s just stuck in heaven until he’s assigned a new one? …Yeah, sure, why not?
Aziraphale getting beheaded means he’s going to have to work quite a miracle to get his body working again, and making sure nobody notices him while he’s trying to get it done, how inconvenient; and what kind of words is heaven going to have with him over that? …Yeah, sure, why not?
Aziraphale getting beheaded means nothing as far as the physical side of his corporation is concerned because he can just re-arrange his matter around at will, BUT in his mind he’ll always KNOW that the discorporation happened, and the thought will just itch at him in the same way a stain miracle’d out of a jacket would. Oh, and his wonderful outfit would be well-past saving for the same reason; what an awful thought! …Yeah, sure, why not?
Aziraphale being able to lift that much weight because he can do whatever he wants via miracles or whatnot gives us one story; Aziraphale being able to lift that much weight because his corporation *naturally* has the ability to do that, no ignoring reality required, gives us a different set of Crowley’s kinks options to work with!
@rangeredactedreply: While I totally agree with the idea that they can do these feats because they believe they can, and reality shapes around that, first poster did some impressive math and research there! (which is so cool)
@artemis-argetlamreply: I do actually agree with the idea that things works just because they believe they will, it is their way of influencing the universe and Crowley strongly demonstrates that with driving, talking to plants, even giving personality to the bentley.
I just thought that would be cool to calculate the weight that Aziraphale is “ignoring” by simply not questioning his capacities to lift it.
Good Omens TV + (as I like to call them:) “Good Moments”
Listen, I love to hate on Aziraphale’s boss just as much as the next person, but the more that enjoyable antagonism kept returning him into my thoughts, the more I picked up that things are never just black and white in this story… so here it is, a compilation of GO-TV Gabriel’s (relatively) good moments that nobody ever asked for.
Yes, he’s a horrible boss and annoying and full of himself and wants the world to end… but. Most of what he does probably doesn’t come from a place of malice? (I know, I know, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions [and door-to-door salesmen]…) He’s juts as fallible as most of the characters, it just shows differently. But then he also has to have his good side, and moments when that can shine through. And he does:
A) He’s very generous in giving out praise? (See GIFs 1-3.) I wish most authority figures I’ve encountered would be handing out validation that generously. Anyway, a breakdown: 1. Yes, it comes off as being gullible or not paying enough attention to his field agent(s), but he does believe Aziraphale when he says he’s been doing his job without Crowley noticing him. And Gabriel looks genuinely impressed with that. He doesn’t give explicit praise here, but he does call this achievement a “miracle”, which, among angels, should count for something. 2. Come on, he actually claps when Aziraphale gives his report (about influencing the Antichrist)? And I’m pretty sure he knew the other angels would follow sort. He applauds and compliments, even though he firmly believes what Aziraphale is trying to do will eventually prove to be pointless. Not a sentence I thought I’d write, but he does seem to appreciate doing Good just for the sake of doing Good. 3. Again, with the “excellent job”s. That’s all. (Also, in the full scene, he keeps going on about the little joke that Sandalphon made, which is… kind of sweet, I guess.)
B) In the 4th GIF: yes, I know, we don’t like the full scene and Gabriel says mean things, etc. But there is one tiny moment I needed some time to appreciate… The Great War is pretty much imminent at this point. Within a day, everything on Earth will be destroyed, so whatever Aziraphale does that day (other than going to war) would be pretty much inconsequential. They’ve already met here, Azi’s reported all that he knows, so, really, there is no particular reason to keep him on Earth anymore? No reason why Gabriel couldn’t make him go back to Heaven right then, with him? He’s never seemed like he appreciates any aspect of Aziraphale’s earthly disguise beyond the strict necessities. But now that whole disguise is pointless… but still, however little they generally understand each other with this estranged underling, Gabriel seems to understand that all the inconsequential earthly things are still important to Aziraphale, and gives him time (as much as he can) to “wrap things up”. Yes, this seems like the bare minimum of humanity, but (a) they’re not human and (b) if Gabriel was nothing but the epitome of horrible bosses, he wouldn’t show even this small purposeless kindness.
C) In GIFs 5-6: after I first watched that episode, I used to privately call this “the only redeeming character moment”. Faced with incriminating evidence against Aziraphale, Gabriel says there must be an “innocent explanation”. Now, I might be the gullible one here, but it seems genuine to me. Also, we seem to love imagining Gabriel as this nigh-all-knowing, all-controlling ultimate boss, but… pardon the expression, he’s only “human”. (Not technically, but you know what I mean.) The way he replies, his expressions and his pondering really sold me on the fact that he has no idea about the existence of “back channels”. Apparently, he doesn’t know nearly as much about his co-workers as he thinks he does - which, I almost feel sorry for him, having to run Heaven that way. Expectations and negative qualities aside, he’s doing the best he can.
D) I’ll keep this as non-spoilery as I can (thank you English language for the passive voice): when the angels are getting fire-breathed at (ugh, I take it back, screw the passive voice), all of them back away in shock and horror, but… Notice what their hands/arms are doing? It’s a split-second reaction, so there isn’t really time for being calculated or pretentious. They, in some way, all reach for each other. It can be seen both as a terrified gesture of seeking comfort in their connection, and as an instinctive gesture of protection - with Sandalphon and Uriel wanting to drag Gabriel back out from the line of fire, and, in turn, Gabriel wanting to push them back into safety (while he’s possibly still a bit more in harm’s way). Whichever one it is, it doesn’t look like the act of a horrible person to me.
To conclude. This collection of course doesn’t balance out his world-ending and simply mean personality traits and actions, but I haven’t seen a compilation of “bloody Gabriel’s” non-horrible moments. And my brain couldn’t stand to leave something GO-related without adding some shades of grey. He might mostly be doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons, or, at least, nearly never the right things for the right reasons. But. You know, my history teacher used to say, there are two types of generals: the one that says “Advance!” and the one that says “Follow me!”, and it says a lot about the generals themselves which ones they are. Gabriel would definitely shout “Follow me!”, and that’s enough of a testament of a certain amount of goodness for me.
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@forineffablereasonsreply: #given that i think a big part of the Point to good omens is that there’s good and bad in everyone #and it’s the bit you choose to act on that matters most #it comes as no surprise that there’s good and bad even in these ancillary characters #it makes the story super layered and nuanced which i love
@hedonistbyheartreply: #I think there is value in seeing the good parts too yeah #and Gabriel is only as ruthlss as God herself in the end #even if i absolutely do not appreciate the fatshaming or the ‘die already’
@dukev027 reply: I think it’s important to add that some of Gabriel’s motivations and reactions comes from the fact that he firmly believes all the angels are acting exactly as angels should. He’s impressed with Aziraphale evading Crowley, because the idea of them working today doesn’t ever cross his mind. This scenario doesn’t exist for him. When Michael confronts him with the photos, Gabriel defends Aziraphale, because he can’t imagine the angel lying to him. And when Michael asks to use the back channels, Gabriel states there are no back channels, because for a proper angel there aren’t any.
Call it negligent or whatever (I wouldn’t personally), but Gabriel doesn’t comprehend that an angel would go against their nature. This is why when he finally realizes Aziraphale “betrayed” them, he gets harsher than usual, maybe even jaded, verbally lashing out at Aziraphale. The betrayal is what drives him to make an example out of Aziraphale and to connect with rather unpredicted allies (though, I would wager this is a temporary alignment). If these other angels are going to be improper, why shouldn’t he?
@rainydaydecafreply: Yes, to all of this. It did strike me, going back to rewatch Good Omens, that for all of Gabriel’s faults, he’s not purposely trying to be a jerk. He’s actually very genuine in everything he says and does. He believes in the good he’s doing, he’s very upbeat and an overall positive influence on the angels around him, and he strives to lead through enthusiastic example. He’s excited at the prospect of Armageddon, and not in a bloodthirsty way… he just doesn’t understand what could possibly be bad about billions of humans getting slaughtered. They’re just humans, after all, and humans die, it’s what they do. He’s content to follow orders, just like most of the angels. If it’s part of the Divine Plan, then it can’t possibly be wrong.
Gabriel only really shows his jerk side when the Divine Plan goes sideways and Aziraphale steps forward and makes him question what he’s doing. Makes him doubt, makes him look back and realize that he might be wrong. And that’s a very uncomfortable feeling for someone who has spent thousand of years basking in the absolute faith that he is Right In All Things. Gabriel doesn’t want to shift his world-view or open himself to the possibility that he misinterpreted God’s word. He just doesn’t. He shuts his eyes to it, he snaps at Adam and calls him a disobedient brat. His priorities and moral compass are so skewed that he goes on to become a villain, though of course he never once sees himself as a villain. There’s not a shred of hesitation when he condemns Aziraphale to death by hellfire. He literally can’t comprehend the concept of “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” He’s the Archangel Fucking Gabriel, don’t talk to him about the greater good, he is the Greatest Good this universe is ever gonna get.
Anyway, to wrap this up, I agree wholeheartedly. Gabriel’s a fantastic character with a lot of good qualities and a lot of flaws. He’s that one boss we all know who piles you with unreasonable deadlines and makes you work through the weekend, but also makes an effort to remember your kids’ names and brings donuts to the budget meeting every Wednesday. We love him and we hate him in equal measure, and that’s what makes him so interesting.
(Also, can we all agree that Jon Hamm was perfect for this role? I was in stitches at the “THANK YOU FOR MY PORNOGRAPHY!” line XD)
@cheeseanonioncrispsreply: The problem is that Gabriel has a very black and white view of morality, which… isn’t actually that surprising, considering the universe he lives in, but it’s his main character flaw.
Anything that is part of the Divine Plan or involved with Heaven is Good, anything that isn’t is Bad.
He’s trying to be a good boss. He’s clearly trying to create a friendly work environment and have good relationships with his employees. He doesn’t understand Aziraphale’s liking for Earthly pleasures, but Aziraphale is still an angel, even if he is a bit weird, and so he is still Good and Gabriel is going to try and make him happy— and he assumes that the destruction of Earth will do that, because it is part of the Divine Plan and therefore Good. Aziraphale has to like it.
But when Aziraphale actively fights against the Divine Plan, and stands hand in hand with a demon and the AntiChrist, and places himself unequivocally (in Gabriel’s mind) on the side of Bad?
Well that’s it. I mean, he must have known Aziraphale for millenia— quite possibly longer than Crowley— and up to now he’s been trying to have a friendly relationship with him. But now he’s Bad, suddenly Gabriel is pissed that he won’t die fast enough.
Gabriel would absolutely die for any of his angels, but he’d also easily kill them if he thought they were no longer on the side of Heaven and the Divine Plan, and you can see both sides of him in the execution scene.
@keelan-666reply: #i think he wasnt exactly happy to do it either tho #i mean he says just shut up and die already with that grin #but his face afterwards is very different #and i think part of how rushed his execution of aziraphale was was bc he just wanted to get it over with #he doesnt think aziraphale doesnt deserve it and he doesnt think hes wrong for doing it #but its still an unpleasant act even if he wants aziraphale dead
@janeymac-iereply: That’s interesting, because I always took the praise, the “excellent job!” stuff not as insincere per se, but as a perfect example of Corporate Positivity.
Ever work for a big company? Like, a US based multinational company? They’re big into Employee Morale and We’re All One Team and This Company Loves You Too, and many of the managers actually buy it. But it’s a corporation, it doesn’t care about any of that. Morale should be high but we won’t hire more people for rush period, we’ll be very insistent about overtime instead (but stop just short of telling you you have to because that’s illegal here.) We’re all one team but actually you’re one of a hundred people who can do your job and we can fire you if we notice a fuck up, and upper management have never heard of you and would be annoyed if you emailed them. This company loves nothing except your productivity even if it treats you well and you will be dropped like a hot potato if needs be.
The managers who buy it, the problem is… they love the company back. And they buy the company line when it’s “we’re all one happy family” and they buy it when it’s “we have to change to lower-quality health insurance for everyone” or “reduced break time this week, too busy” or “Mary Smith has to go”.
Gabriel didn’t care enough to notice that Asiraphale was obviously lying, that his reports had been false for centuries, that he was not, in fact, doing a good job. Gabriel doesn’t care about anything except Heaven. He’s come down from On High to give a cheerful and encouraging pep talk to an underling and he is going to do that just as well as he can, because Morale Is Important and Our Staff Are Valued, and he believes those things but because they’re inherently false, his own sincerity doesn’t matter. God doesn’t answer an angel’s prayers and the CEO doesn’t know your name and never wants to.
The reason it comes across as insincere to most people is the fact that it’s so obviously reflecting that kind of real life interaction. Heaven is a big clean corporation which carefully hides its dirty hands— “we don’t have back channels”— and Gabriel believes the corporate bullshit and ignores the evidence to the contrary, because you can’t go having *doubts* in Heaven.
@feelingbadforcrowleysplantsreply: to me Gabriel doesn’t seem mean or a truly horrible person, he is just so far removed from what az’s world (figuratively and literally) so he is oblivious to az’s feelings. And he just happens to be on an opposing side. He truly believes that Armageddon is the right thing (because why not? He doesn’t care for earth and it seems obvious to him that heaven winning would only be good). And the “die already” is totally understandable (although it still makes me hate him) because he discovered az was a traitor all along and he was betrayed and put in a terrible situation.
Gabriel isn’t a horrible character, he just happens to be on the opposing team
@ilsa-fireswanreply: We coo over “you’re an angel, I don’t think you can do the wrong thing” but honestly the whole show is Aziraphale trying to maintain faith that Heaven must be Right And Good while seeing it all from humanity’s perspective. Gabriel doesn’t have that. He spent those 6000 years in Head Office - the place where they issue you a flaming sword to lend support to your moral argument. The place you can Fall from for asking too many questions. He doesn’t understand human desires or human responses or human interactions but he’s doing his best to advance the Great Plan - the Greatest Good he knows - and has been since the start of everything. He is (brutally) honest and (aggressively) pushes perfection (or his view of it) for everyone under his direction, but I don’t think he’s maliciously mean. Also, I think his “I like the clothes” moment is an attempt to relate to Aziraphale and his odd little hobby/obsession with humanity.
@mybestfriendsarefictional reply: #yesss #gabriel is definitely a complex character #which is great! #tho i disagree #he isn’t doing “the wrong thing for the wrong reasons’' #i’d argue he’s doing the wrong thing for (what HE genuinely believes are) the right reasons #that’s kind of the point #the angels wholeheartedly believe their side is righteous and good so they can’t POSSIBLY do the wrong thing #aziraphale! is! the! only! one! who! doubts! that! #i dont think gabriel is intentionally malicious either #he just on a fundamental level cannot understand aziraphale #i dont think the other angels are bad necessarily #just very stuck in their ways
In addition, Sandalphon is blocking the exit. And he and Gabriel are standing at complete 180 degree points with Aziraphale in the centre. This is a thing I have known sadistic interviewers to do: to deliberately sit (or stand) at such angles to the victim/interviewee that they can never have both interviewers in their eyeline at the same time. To make eye contact with one, you have to lose sight of the other. Normally I’ve seen it done with the two interviewers at 90 degrees, so the interviewee has to keep turning their head. This is even more cruel: Aziraphale has to turn his back on whomever is not speaking. It’s a deliberate tactic to make a victim more awkward and wrong-footed, and in this case, even physically vulnerable.
Yep. You’ve articulated what I was trying to get at with ‘’trap’’. You don’t block off the exits like that to have a polite conversation. You do it to threatensomebody.
It’s like they took the mob intimidation bit from the original book and turned it into something far more horrifying and with more weight for his character arc, because this is what gangsters do to scare people. imo Gabriel is fairly well aware of whats going on long before the surveillance photos come into it and he just likes watching Aziraphale squirm with anxiety over how much he knows, because he’s not stupid, he’s a sadistic bully.
And Aziraphale is playing the game so well. He tells himself he trusts them but he absolutely doesn’t. He smiles, he nods, he tells them nothing. He has a quick answer for the jibe about the evil smell. He shows zero reaction to their loud comments about pornography (react, and prove you’re more used to humans than to angels? That you find angels embarrassing now? That you know more about earth than the guy who stationed you there?). He’s covering his ass expertly—he knows how to defend himself. He’s watched angels fall.
Like don’t get me wrong, I like a good clueless boss as much as the next person. But that’s not Gabriel. Michael asks if Gabriel minds Michael following up through back channels and Gabriel plainly says “there are no back channels, Michael” and it’s not because Gabriel thinks there are no back channels, of course there fucking are, he’s been using them too. But how dare Michael bring them up so baldly. How dare Michael betray the ruse, and to his face like that. They’re the good guys, you know.
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@jacquez45 reply: this is one bit where I wish they’d left in something: in this scene, Crowley has literally snuck out when Gabriel & Sandalphon enter the shop. (In the script book, Aziraphale basically keeps them out of the back room until he sees that Crowley has gotten out, then invites them back.)
the reason I wish they’d left this in is that yes, Aziraphale clearly feels the threat in this scene, but he fucking brazens it out anyway, straight-up lying about the Jeffrey Archer books when he knows full well what Sandalphon is actually smelling — the aired scene implies that it might be Crowley, but the scripted one it’s much clearer, and I like the extra layer of courage that the clarity gives Aziraphale.
@forineffablereasonsreply: #NOT TO MENTION THE VERY THINLY VEILED HOMOPHOBIC THREAT #OF SANDALPHON BEING ASSOCIATED WITH SMITING PEOPLE IN SODOM AND GOMORRAH #SURE WE CAN CHAT BIBLICAL ACCURACY BUT THE CULTURAL MINDSET IS MEANT TO INFORM HERE #IN THE CONTEXT OF AZIRAPHALE’S QUEER NARRATIVE? 100% A HOMOPHOBIC THREAT
@gomensgayreply: and saying “you remember sandalphon?” like sandalphon isn’t one of the four bastards aziraphale has been reporting to regularly for eleven years At Least????
That wasn’t “hey, you remember who this random guy is, right?”
That was “hey, remember what we can do to you if you step out of line.”
Scary shit.
@violetfaustreply: I’ve been convinced that Gabriel is smarter and even more malicious than he pretends since the watch-through when I realized Gabriel knows Adam is the Antichrist BEFORE he gets to the airfield. Even Crowley doesn’t know Adam’s name (”You, boy, Antichrist–what’s your name?”) and Beelz has no idea which of the kids he is until Crowley wordlessly points him out. But Gabe says, “That one. Adam Young.” The only way he can know is if he’s somehow keeping extremely close watch on Az.
Gabriel’s bland “I’m sure there must be some explanation” to those pics of Az and Crowley is not the shock of a being who finds out he’s been betrayed by a trusted employee for at least 400 years. It’s not even the vindication of finding out that an UNtrustworthy employee has in fact been guilty for 400 years. He’s entirely unsurprised and his denial that back channels exist is a tacit approval for Michael to finally bring this out in the open. “Go ahead and do what you want but I didn’t tell you to because I’m the good guy.”
Yeah, Gabriel has been waiting for Az to slip up for six thousand years. So why doesn’t he just use his knowledge of the Arrangement against him? Because LOTS of angels and demons have arrangements. Michael has Ligur; Gabe himself has some unnamed downstairs source. If Gabriel punishes Az and/or Crowley and one of them knows about this, the whole system could come crumbling down. (It’s fine to be a hypocrite as long as nobody knows about it.)
So he’ll just wait for Az to take that one step too far and to Fall, get chucked out of heaven. But that never happens. And it pisses Gabriel off.
Gabriel saying to Aziraphale in the sushi restaurant, “it’s a miracle he hasn’t spotted you yet” about Crowley, when 218 years ago in 1800, Gabriel spied on Crowley and heard him talking very specifically about Aziraphale and his ability to thwart, which I think counts very much as having “spotted” Aziraphale. It’s a deleted scene, but it definitely got far enough to be worth considering.
In that same 1800 scene, when Gabriel and Sandalphon show up at the shop, Aziraphale argues that he needs to stay on Earth because Crowley has “been here as long as I have.” Later, when Gabriel comes to tell Aziraphale that Armageddon is starting, Aziraphale reminds him how long he’s been here, and Gabriel responds, “so has Crowley.” These lines - the whole incidents - seem referential to each other.
Finally, Gabriel asks Aziraphale, “how was the hellhound?” after Warlock’s birthday party. Theoretically, of course, Aziraphale could have informed the angels that he was planning to attend the party…but we don’t see him or hear any reference to him doing it, and in fact Aziraphale didn’t know himself that there was supposed to be a hellhound until the 11th hour. This looks to me like Gabriel knowing more than he lets on (except in strategic moments like this).
All this leads me to believe Heaven knows WAY more than it lets on. I also kind of wonder - if Hell has the same level of knowledge as Heaven, was Crowley chosen as the Antichrist’s deliverer as a punishment, some kind of bizarre torture meant to “test” his “loyalty”? Was Aziraphale’s station on Earth meant to be a punishment that the angels are now unhappy about because he enjoys it?
@whispsofwindreply: I don’t remember where I read it, but I really liked the theory that being on Earth is a punishment for Aziraphale, but a reward for Crowley.
Aziraphale failed in Eden, so being on Earth, basically cut off from most of Heaven, would be a punishment (except he actually loves it, which must frustrate Gabriel to no end).
On the other hand Crowley’s stunt in Eden was a major success, and it would make sense that staying on Earth would be a reward. Hell is clearly miserable. Threatening to take that reward away would give Hell yet another tool to blackmail and control Crowley. I don’t think they would have given him the Antichrist if they didn’t trust his abilities, it was too important of a job to use it as a test or a punishment, anyway.
Also, from what we saw in the show, I wouldn’t be surprised if Heaven knew a lot more than Hell does. Unlike the book, Heaven is very present, and organized in a cult-like manner. Gabriel really reminds me of a cult-leader, friendly and apparently innocuous on the outside while being actually ruthless. Such a group would have the means and the motive to create a very efficient surveillance system, under the guise to protect the sanctity of Heaven.
On the other side, Hell is much more chaotic, ruled through threats and violence. Collaboration is actively discouraged. Fear is encouraged, and I got the impression that powerful demons prefer to terrorize minor demons into obeying instead of actually checking if orders are being carried out (“Do this or I’ll skin you alive” instead of “Do this and I’ll come down later to check you actually did it”). Such an environment isn’t optimal for a good surveillance system, because information will be lost in the chaos, or hidden in fear.
You can also see this difference in the way Heaven and Hell contact Aziraphale and Crowley. Hell constantly talks to Crowley through the radio or the telly, basically a constant reminder of “you are never safe, we are always watching and we will hurt you if you make a mistake”. Except that’s really inefficient, and it allows Crowley to hid things under their nose despite being very scared of his superiors. Correct me if I am wrong, but Hell representatives only interact with Crowley in the flesh when he is called to pick Adam up, and when Hastur and Ligur go to murder him. The demons usually keep their distance, which means the information they get may be distorted.
Heaven on the other hand? The Archangel Fucking Gabriel goes personally, multiple times, to talk with Aziraphale. In the sushi restaurant, at the park, in the bookshop. He gets into Aziraphale’s personal space all the time, and he usually plays it as friendly interactions. In a lot of instances, he isn’t even trying to scare Aziraphale into compliance, he is emotionally abusing him. It’s not “we are always watching so you should be terrified”, it’s more of a “hey buddy, you see how I really care? I am here and you are really disappointing me, why can’t you do this one thing right?”.
Only when he brings Sandalphon the emotional abuse takes a step further into a more threatening territory. Gabriel has a more hands-on approach than his counterpart, and if he asks the same of his underlings he probably gets very precise information.
In short, I think Gabriel knows a lot more than Hell on what Crowley and Aziraphale are up to, and would absolutely love to punish Aziraphale, except he can’t because then he would put his own back-channels into jeopardy. So he turns to petty bullying and cruelty under the facade of the Friendly Boss/Family Member.
@krakensdottirreply: The contrast is fascinating, honestly. “I was reprimanded for performing too many frivolous miracles, got a strongly worded letter from Gabriel” vs. “My lot do not send rude notes” / “Is it my fault they never check up?”
Hell is inefficient. That’s clear from their offices, it’s one of the major traits separating Heaven and Hell. So they might not check up on you often, beyond lazily sending reminders over electronic media. If you are caught not doing your job, the consequences are dreadful - ‘reprimand’ is a mild word for it - but it doesn’t happen often. Your odds of getting busted for any one thing are very low, so if you’re a renegade demon, you might as well live on the edge and take that chance.
Heaven is exactly the opposite. They’re ruthlessly efficient and organized, and you bet they monitor miracles. Aziraphale can’t so much as miracle up a handkerchief to sneeze in without them getting on him about it. That’s why he’s so much more cautious, so hesitant, always so wary of pushing boundaries. His consequences may be, at least on the surface, milder, but he is MUCH more likely to have to face them. And they add up. Beyond the notes, there are warnings, and beyond the warnings there are threats, and beyond the threats… well, Hell got their ideas from somewhere, didn’t they?
@mage-catreply: In short, in Good Omens the conflict between Heaven and Hell is not Good versus Evil, but rather Order verses Chaos, and the work makes a brilliant case about why you don’t want to be at either end of the spectrum.
@whetstonefiresreply: Heaven was deliberately kept absent in the book, when the whole thing was a Cold War analogy where they were Britain-NATO and Hell was the Soviet Union–two organizations that were not really particularly different at a deep level, i.e. you needed real expertise to tell their armies apart, and which tended not to really care about the things that are important to people, and which were quite likely to wind up obliterating life on Earth in a stupid shoving competition.
Hell was semi-present and explicitly awful; Heaven didn’t care about the right things but they cared about doing things the right way, and weren’t deliberately cruel. Just unfeeling. The narrative shared Aziraphale’s disinclination to be really critical.
Heaven is the thing that therefore got the most new building-up and updating to the current political climate, in the miniseries, as it became a central player. Its identity didn’t necessarily change, but what Gaiman was trying to say about it sure did.
Visually, they went with the effect of Heaven as the upper reaches of a skyscraper and Hell as its mouldering horrible basement, but the structural impression is of Heaven as the government and Hell as organized crime.
While the latter is a lot more likely to just come around and fuck you up, and to make sure their employees are scared of their capacity violence on an immediate level, the former is much, much more powerful, their reach is longer and they and know a lot more. Their scary goes a lot further. Good Omens the book had one foot in the nuclear age and one foot in the information age, but it’s been 30 years.
@winterbirbreply: Everyone in the notes is using this as n example of Gabriel and using an intimidation technique, which makes sense from a Watsonian perspective (even though I don’t subscribe to it), but I’d like to bring up an important Doylist (aka writer/producer decision) point:
This actually separates Gabriel from some of the biblical atrocities assigned to him, especially Sodom and Gomorrah, which in biblical mythology had Gabriel do the smiting et cetera.
So from a production standpoint, having Sandalphon in this scene isn’t (Doylistically) to intimidate Aziraphale with Gabriel as the aggressor, but instead to reinforce the image of Gabriel as the “company man” while Sandalphon is the one who actually enjoys being cruel.
I’d like to reference the 2006 US paperback edition, where after Crowley describes most demons akin to tax inspectors, he goes on to say
“…If it came to that, most angels weren’t paragons of virtue; Crowley had met one or two who, when it came to righteously smiting the ungodly, smote a good deal harder than strictly necessary. On the whole, everyone had a job to do, and just did it.
“And on the other hand, you got people like Ligur and Hastur, who took such a dark delight in unpleasantness you might have even mistaken them for human.” (p. 253 para. 1-2)
Gabriel and Sandalphon pretty neatly exemplify the difference between these two attitudes. Especially when you consider that the producers did not have to change who smote Sodom and Gomorrah, Sandalphon’s purpose is to be that unnamed angel that takes way too much joy in smiting (see his face in the 2nd and 4th panels), which serves as a foil for Gabriel who represents the prevailing attitude of “just has a job to do,” like the tax inspector.
Tl;dr: This wasn’t done to make Gabriel maliciously evil, it was a production choice where they included both Gabriel and Sandalphon in the same scene so that the audience would a. See an angel described in the book as “[smiting] a good deal harder than strictly necessary” and b. Have it be made clear that contrary to what biblical mythology might suggest, this angel is not Gabriel.
@morelifeangelreply: I think it goes even beyond that. I think Gabriel certainly had a sense that Aziraphale had gotten (from his point of view) too comfortable with the humans, but beyond that, I get the impression that he likes intimidating Aziraphale simply for the fun of it. While Sandalphon seems like a petty thug, he’s at least obvious in what he is.
Gabriel is more like the sort of person who can do horrible things at his job and actively enjoy it, and then go around to enjoy a nice meal with his wife and children. The sort people say, “He could never do something like that, he’s such a good guy!”
After all, he’s on God’s side, so anything he does is clearly right, isn’t it?
@fuckyeahisawthatreply: There’s a lot of great takes on this scene in the reblogs already, but yeah… Gabriel may be oblivious about many human things (not because he’s dumb but because he just doesn’t care) but he’s not stupid.
As for whether he has any idea what’s going on between Aziraphale and Crowley…personally, I don’t think he has the imagination for that. But he’s a bully, so making people uncomfortable is fun, and Aziraphale’s a soft target cause clearly he’s seen as The Weird One among angels.
Right after this scene, there’s a parallel scene with Crowley, where Hastur and Ligur talk to him through the TV. The thing about both these scenes is that Aziraphale and Crowley’s respective higher-ups and lower-downs don’t really deliver any new information to them. In both cases, the sole purpose of these “HEY just checking in!!” visits is intimidation. It’s to remind them, Shit’s about to get real on Earth and we’re watching you. Don’t fuck this up.
Of course, we the audience know that they have already, most definitely, fucked this up. And the characters, in the scenes immediately preceding this at the end of episode 1, have just confirmed for themselves that yes, they have indeed fucked this up. And here come their bosses to make sure they haven’t forgotten exactly what the stakes are. As usual, Heaven and Hell are doing the exact same thing; Heaven’s just doing it with a smile on their faces.
@not-a-fucking-pogo-stickreply: Also with the turning people into salt bit. It’s both the more clear homophobic threat and a reference to the death of the only person who looked back towards those condemned, Lot’s wife, who was turned into a pillar of salt. Definitely calls to mind the close association of Aziraphale to one of the damned ie Crowley, who he could be considered to have looked back towards after the fall by not dismissing him as the other angels seem to have done the other demons.
@rocket-poolreply: Yes to all this, except maybe Gabriel knowing what was up before Michael pulls out the intelligence network. He makes a point of calling him Azira-FAIL (whereas Crowley calls him Azira-FELL, something Gaiman has confirmed was done purposefully). I think he’s just a bully, going straight back to Aziraphale “failing” to prevent the temptation of Eve.
Of course, if Michael suspected - and they are very obviously the intelligence officer, with the backchannels - they could have been stoking Gabriel’s dislike. That would lead to this more… Careful treatment. Especially if you hold to Crowley only just leaving, Michael might have been trying to catch Aziraphale in the act…
@loptsvinr reply: Pretty sure dealing with angels is why Aziraphale is so good at lying. The angels are a very organised/lawful gang, whereas the demons are more of a chaotic evil mess. The demons couldn’t even make sure the Baby Switch Plan would be executed perfectly, whereas if the angels were given that task they would constantly be watching over everything.
@livebloggingmydescentintomadness reply: i feel like it also really deserves pointing out that Gabriel very specifically brought the angel who carried out the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah to intimidate Aziraphale, The Queer Angel.
now, in actuality, the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah was not about homosexuality (Ezekiel 16:49–50: “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me.“) but it’s pretty damn ingrained in the public consciousness that it was “a gay thing” to the point where anal sex is called sodomy.
it’s too deliberately mentioned to be an accident. Gabriel brought the angel who (we all have been led to believe) slaughtered queers to intimidate Aziraphale. that’s why Aziraphale looks so uncomfortable.
@ineffabilumreply: Ugh, this makes my heart hurt. How awful to be threatened by the good guys, to be trapped in a room and think, well, it’s a good thing I didn’t Fall. It’s no wonder Aziraphale is always telling Crowley, “Yes, but you’re a demon.” If this is what Heaven’s like, what kindness could he possibly expect from Hell?
#of course he does trust crowley #but every once in a while that defense mechanism kicks back in: #don’t laugh until they laugh don’t let your guard down don’t show your hand first #locate the exits be polite feign ignorance smile but not like that not too wide #it’s hard to let someone in when you’re waiting for the other shoe to fall
@thesourthernpansyreply: And to go on from that point, it so very clear that Aziraphale doesn’t agree with Sandalphon’s methods, remembering him and slightly changing key in his voice to ‘I dont like what you do, but technically we’re all doing it for the same thing, so I’ll put up with you cos my boss is right there’. And that’s it!
@falloutboyrocksmysocksreply: Oh I like this! And I’m loving the fact that there is still so much of this show left to talk about like this and analyse!
For me the way that Sandalphon was positioned at Aziraphale’s back, while Gabriel positioned himself in front of Aziraphale, made me think. In the Bible during the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot, who the 2 angels that were sent as emissaries to visit, and lodged and ate with, and Lot’s wife, were told to flee the city after God commanded it to be destroyed due to the sins committed there.
The 2 angels told Lot, Lot’s wife and a few others to leave and commanded them “look not behind thee”, to not look back at the destruction, but Lot’s wife did and she was turned to a pillar of salt.
Remembering that, I couldn’t help thinking of why Gabriel brought Sandalphon, but when he mentioned Sodom and Gomorrah, and that Sandalphon was partly responsible, it made me think even more about how he was positioned in regards to Aziraphale, and the decision made to position them that way.
It made Aziraphale have to look back at Sandalphon to talk to him.
Maybe I’m reading too much into that, but seeing as this is a show that always has a reason for literally everything that happens in it, I thought it was very interesting.
@katy-133reply: Can we talk about how in the book, Crowley went to Gomorrah?
I’m just picturing Crowley and Aziraphale separately visiting the place at some point, quite enjoying the food, not knowing the other was there. And then both of them leaving just before Sandalphon arrived, saw what was happening, and decided that it had to go.
@aura218fandomnetreply: it’s a threat to crowley too. we know what you’ve been up to, we know with whom, we know you know we know, and if you play along, we don’t have to mention this. as long as you behave, we can keep up this shared fake ignorance of your greatest sin and everything is the status quo for a little bit longer. but WE are in control of how long that status quo lasts and we can take that feeling of safety away from you and from your lover.
@220-221b-whateverittakesreply: Can we also talk about the choice of Sandalphon as the heavy in particular? We know Az is super gay coded, and his narrative is a pretty blatant coming out story. But Sandalphon, of all the other angels, shares that coding. And how does Az know him? Sodom and Freaking Gomorrah. The biblical story most often used to persecute the Gays ever since King James decided to put his spin on the Vulgate. To me it reads as a threat like, “We know what you are, and either you turn against it like Sandalphon, or Sandalphon turns your gay ass into salt.” Sandalphon strikes me as the perfect archetype of the ex-gay/closeted-gay that works out their shit by persecuting their own. If you told me he was in charge of Heaven’s version of Exodus International for naughty angels needing reeducation to avoid Falling, it would completely track.
@ffxplayerreply: In the interview for the TV Companion(which is amazing, you should read it if you love Good Omens, I borrowed my copy from library)the actor who plays Gabriel(someone help me out here I’m too lazy to google right now)said he was going for American CEO, same kind of power play. And it definitely comes through in this scene. Intimidation through mind games is totally Gabriel’s scene. Like I don’t for a second think he’s stupid. I wouldn’t love to loathe him if he was stupid. He’s very very clever at what he does, and has zero fucks to give about whether this might make him evil. His sense of right and wrong is his own belief in what HE thinks is right. Scary concept.
@eretriaelessedilsreply: It seems others have beaten me to making this point but I saw this on ig first and wanted to contribute- the traditional interpretation for the reason the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed was widespread homosexual activities of the inhabitants, and if Sandalphon was the one who killed nearly all the inhabitants of two whole cities for being gay it seems like a very deliberate choice for Gabriel to bring him. Especially alongside other angels seeming to threaten aziraphale in terms of homosexuality with Uriel goading Aziraphale with “your boyfriend with the dark glasses”, and Uriel being the angel of chasity could indicate another threat had the relationship she implied between Crowley and Aziraphale been sexual- and then Uriel being the one to most strongly threaten him physically (at least before he was sentenced to death) in pushing him against the wall does seem imply further violence. Overall I cant help but think there was somewhat of an implication that Heaven thought the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley did verge into romantic and were prepared to threaten and punish Aziraphale for it if he stepped out of line.
“It’s a miracle he’s never noticed you.” Gabriel’s not an idiot, he knows there’s no way Crowley doesn’t know about Aziraphale. Aziraphale is hiding something from him, but there’s no proof.
The pause there, examining Aziraphales reaction.
“But that’s what we do.” A reminder, you’re an angel, one of mine, don’t forget what team you belong to.
A threat, all of it.
@grrlcookeryreply: The demons in GO? They’re evil, but they do damage like a snake or a cat would. Theyre following their nature with no shame or apology. The angels? They’re terrifying. They’re pretending to hold the moral high ground. They’re behaving as though they have a right to choose their actions, whereas the demons simply act. I’d rather meet a GO demon than an angel, any day.
I have never noticed how Aziraphale’s instinctive reaction to being called Crowley’s friend is to smile at him:
This is the moment right before Aziraphale remembers that they’re not supposed to be seen together and starts explaining that they have never met before. So, even in Shakespearean times he already considered Crowley to be his friend. Which makes the bandstand scene and the “We’re not friends” even more ridiculous. This angel is so good at lying to himself.
Also, as I’ve already said somewhere, Crowley then proceeds with the famous Age does not wither nor custom stale his infinite variety. By saying this, he’s playing on Aziraphale’s ridiculous excuses about having never met before and not knowing each other. Basically Crowley is emphasizing the fact that, firstly, they are friends indeed and, secondly, that each of their meeting is like discovering each other anew.
In other words, he says Yes, Aziraphale, one could really say that we’ve never met before because your infinite variety makes each of our meetings feel like the first one.
Also I just realized the other day… This sentence that Will plagiarizes ends up in Antony and Cleopatra. Like I knew that before, because @drawlight pointed it out, but I suddenly made the connection “Oh, so Anthony wasn’t a random choice for a first name then, huh.” Like wow. Naming yourself after the titular character in a play that didn’t exist yet but you contributed to on one of your dates. How sentimental!!! (Especially when you consider the terms on which they parted… Happier memories… I wonder if the name is a sort of apology/olive branch. ‘let’s start over/dial it back, remember the good times?’)
God I just can’t stop thinking about this now!! Crowley, waking up after his extended nap. Getting back in the saddle, maybe still spending a few years apart from Aziraphale depending on when you think exactly he woke up. Suddenly he’s busy and he needs a name…. And maybe enough time has finally passed that he regrets the argument they had. He knows why they can’t come to terms, and he won’t ask for it again, but he misses his angel. So what better way to signal to him, “If you hear about me, please, I’m ready to talk. I’m ready to make up. Please, I’m going to build up a reputation until you can’t ignore me. I want to meet you again and discover how you changed in my absence” than to pick the name Anthony???
“Remember when I said that about you? When I talked about meetings and knowing? I’m ready for that again.”
Except. He went by some version of Tony with Da Vinci didn’t he?
…… That I think is true (I think it was Antonio maybe??? Idk if that’s a book reference or something they added for one of the special editions), but consider… Anthony and Cleopatra did exist. And their romance was defined, as much as one can glean any truth about such mythologized figures, as an arrangement becoming something more. Something real. Being on their own side against a great power that ultimately vanquished them.
And I also don’t think that necessarily precludes Crowley advertising himself as Anthony as a means of communicating all these feelings to Aziraphale. (In any case, Aziraphale doesn’t seem to know about the moniker prior to 1941….)
Select additional comments:
@ambular-dcomment: So does that mean when Aziraphale said ‘Anthony??…I’ll get used to it’ at the church, he was implying 'Wait, you’re seriously casting me as Cleopatra?? … all right, well, if that’s really how you feel about it then who am I to contradict’
@a-ginger-in-blackreply: The Roman dude’s name was Antony, not Anthony, though in British English they’re pronounced the same.
In the novel, there’s mention of the Mona Lisa cartoon being dedicated to Antonio, so he was using the name by 1503 at the latest.
@joan-daardvarkreply: This makes me wonder why this alias didn’t come up until 1941. Not to Aziraphale, in any case.
joan-daardvarkreply: Upon further consideration and discussion with @forbiddenmadrigals… What if he’d already taken this alias in Rome? He could have witnessed Antony and Cleopatra’s romance and heard Antony say these same words to her in real life. So he didn’t come up with Age does not wither, but rather repeated it. He thought that this description suited the angel well and then uttered it at a convenient time (at the Globe). All that was left was to nudge Shakespeare to write a play about the events which Crowley had actually seen himself.
Another thing excites me though. The details below confuse me more than actually clarify anything but I think they’re worth mentioning anyway:
Original sin, serpents… May I go completely nuts and suggest that Crowley could, in fact, be Cleopatra? This doesn’t explain why he chose Antony as an alias but still it’s a fun thought. Or maybe he was present at her court? Who knows but it’s curious nevertheless.
Also, knowing my obsession with solar/lunar symbolism (Aziraphale = Sun, Crowley = Moon), I found this so very endearing:
Helios meaning sun and Selene meaning moon, ofc.
@liquidlyriumreply: Yes! I saw that in my frantic wiki reading as well!!! This is all extremely good!!!! (Also if we’re being honest Crowley is not the soldier of the two)
I mean let’s also consider that we know that they view each other far better than they see themselves yes? At the trials, Crowley plays Aziraphale as brave and strong under pressure… Yes he is Cleopatra clearly, but maybe he took that name because of what he sees in Antony (Aziraphale) in the hopes that he’d take on some of those qualities 0:
But he never let on until 1941 I’m still dying at all these Implications
joan-daardvarkreply: …in the hopes that he’d take on some of those qualities
You mean, like, as if they were able to… become each other?? *le gasp*
liquidlyriumreply: but also counterpoint: Crowley adopted the name so that his initials would be AC so that way he could always see them next to each other. Esp when he thought it would never happen because SIDES and all
joan-daardvarkreply(): Knowing his propensity to symbolism, I don’t see why not. We’re talking about a person bringing stone lecterns to his house in memory of his forbidden love, he could absolutely do that.
I am also convinced he sees it as something stylish.
Can we talk about Aziraphale’s rebellion? I want to talk about Aziraphale’s rebellion.
Like, obviously Aziraphale rebelling against Heaven started with giving away the sword. We all know this. He took his stand six thousand years ago and has, in his own quiet way, been defending his choice ever since. In the miniseries, we don’t see as much of how Aziraphale actually conducts his work on Earth as we do of Crowley’s half-hearted attempts at Being Bad, aside from that one line during the drunken bookshop scene about how he tries to influence humans to do the actual thwarting, but I think a lot about the line from the script book that was cut for time, about how he was hoping to influence Nero by getting him interested in music. Which… hoooooo boy is thata lot to unpack, but I digress.
Crowley gave humanity the opportunity to choose, and has continued to do so, allowing mankind to choose their fates. And Aziraphale? Aziraphale is doing just as he did in giving Adam and Eve his sword: giving humanity the tools with which to enact their own destiny, whatever that may be. Aziraphale’s methodology is a consistent defense of his original rebellion, but he still tries for six thousand years to tread the fine line of loyalty to Heaven, even as he makes it oh so very clear, with his misprint Bibles and his love of human culture and his clear discomfort in the face of Heaven’s other messengers, that he doesn’t like their ways or their attitude.
But that isn’t what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the moment that Aziraphale goes full loose cannon.
When Aziraphale first gets poofed back to Heaven, he starts out this confrontation with the Quartermaster with the same fumbling, almost unctious behavior he shows to the Archangels (feat. Sandalphon) up until this point. He doesn’t like these people, he barely evenrespects these people, but he feels he owes them his loyalty so he speaks courteously and very nearly obsequiously (but with a twinkle in his eye that says “I am mentally eviscerating every stupidass word out of your idiot mouth” the whole time). He makes light of having been discorporated because he knows he’s in trouble and he’s so in the habit of trying to downplay his slip ups, his tiny rebellions, and dress them up in humor, that it’s his go-to reaction when he suddenly finds himself bodiless and stuck in the absolute last place he wants to be.
But then the Quartermaster starts giving him a dressing down, and at first we see Aziraphale kind of wilting under his ire, shrinking back into himself (which is an amazing bit of physicality from Mr. Sheen, seriously, go rewatch, the body language he uses in this whole scene is amazing) and trying to compress himself down under Heaven’s rage… but then the final blow is delivered:
“You pathetic excuse for an angel!”
And Aziraphale just kind of goes still and absorbs this. He thinks it over. He straightens up. And he makes his choice.
“Well, I suppose I am, really.”
He knows what he is. He’s known from the beginning. His rebellion began six thousand years ago, and all these years with humanity and with Crowley, pushing and pulling at him and making him think and evaluate and question everything, has made him ready to own up to it.
Up until this point, Aziraphale’s rebellion— his misprint Bibles and his little white lies and his overindulgence in human things and the questions he keeps to himself for fear of Falling— has been so quiet. It’s been whispers behind closed doors and a hush-hush Arrangement with an Adversary he shouldn’t even speak to let alone have cozy dinners with. It’s all under lock and key and oh so very discrete.
Until now. Now Aziraphale is pissed.
He’s spent six thousand years teaching humans how to solve their own problems, giving them the tools they need to fight their own battles and actually make use of that power of choice Crowley gave them, even if he doesn’t actually realize that’s what he’s been doing all these years. He’s put literally all the Time there has ever been into guiding and caring for the Earth, and under absolutely no fucking circumstances is he going to let it all be blown to bits so Heaven and Hell can have their stupid pissing contest all over it.
And suddenly all that servile obedience to Heaven, all that soft-spoken pandering, just evaporates. Suddenly it’s “I have nointention of fighting in any war!” Suddenly it’s “Idemand to be returned [to Earth]!” Suddenly Aziraphale has absolutely run out of fucks to give and he’s ready to scream out everything that’s been coming to a slow boil inside him over the course of so many centuries. And he doesn’t know yet, he doesn’t yet understand that all the work he and Crowley have been doing for six thousand years has already given Adam and the Them everything they need to make their choice and defend it. As far as Aziraphale is concerned, he and probably Crowley are the only thing standing between the Earth and its imminent destruction, and he absolutely will not just stand back and let it happen.
It doesn’t matter that his Quartermaster is berating him. It doesn’t matter that that whole line of angels has suddenly turned in eerie, perfect unison to stare him down with blank-eyed dispassion and unfeeling Judgment. It doesn’t matter that this is treason in Heaven’s eyes, that there’s a damn good chance he’s going to Fall for this. He’s chosen his side, and he’s making a stand.
And then the thought occurs to him that, well, why can’t he just go back to Earth? Why can’t he just possess a convenient human host? Demons can do that, and what are demons but fallen angels? Why can’the do what a demon can do? He knows damn well and good that angels and demons aren’t really all that far apart— he has six millennia worth of love and an Arrangement spanning nearly a thousand years to prove it. We talk about Crowley and his imagination and creativity, but Aziraphale is no slouch when it comes to thinking outside the box either. So once Aziraphale starts asking questions, reallyasking them and not just thinking them quietly to himself and then locking them up tight where no one is likely to see, he instantly becomes this unstoppable cannonball of chaotic energy. It’s the loudest, most brazen Rebellion since Lucifer himself, and it’s done in the service of Humanity, because Aziraphale’s defining character trait is his radical kindness.
Basically, Aziraphale backflips out of Heaven with both middle fingers in the air, and frankly I think it’s amazing.
So in all that cringing away from the Quartermaster, I see Aziraphale’s eternity of being slowly chipped away by the emotional abuse of Heaven. He might question what’s right, he might question whether he even respects his superiors as he should, but deep down he is an angel and he WANTS so very much to be a good angel. He wants to be acknowledged. He wants to be told that his rebellions are ok because they’re done for the Right Reason (at the same time that he does NOT want to be found out).
And then…they push him too far. Hell is after Crowley (Who may or may not be leaving for ever) earth is about to be destroyed, humanity is going to be wiped out, NO ONE CARES, and now all his failures are laid bare and
And Aziraphale decides he just does not give a single care, s**t or f**k anymore.
It’s like, he hits rock bottom, and realizes in that second that he can actually stand on his own two feet.
Alright here’s my two cents in the is Aziraphale soft or BAMF question: he’s both. He’s fully both and he’s always been both because, in spite of what we get told, there’s a certain kind of BAMFness that comes from softness. They aren’t actually opposites. Softness (compassion, kindness etc) is not weakness. It requires great strength and it generates strength.
There are two kinds of BAMF. There’s the one we usually see: the hot-headed, competitive, let’s take on the world and win, aggressive, ambitious kind of BAMF. That’s all bravado and hot anger. You know, the kind of anger that calls you to destroy, to conquer? And then after you may well regret your actions?
But there’s the other kind too: a protective, ruthlessly determined, aggressive yes, but in a defensive way kind of BAMF. It is a whole different thing. It isn’t a hot anger at all, but a cold one. It never calls you to seek out and destroy but it is the certainty that you must do what you must do to protect what needs protecting. And when it is moved it is absolutely ruthless. Actions taken are not regretted. They are, after all, simply what had to be done. This is the BAMFness that grows out of softness (compassion, kindness) because part of all of that softness is ruthlessly and fiercely protecting what you love, those you are compassionate towards. It is a kind of righteous anger (appropriately enough!) motivated not by ego but by correcting wrongs.
Think of a mama bear. From the cub’s perspective she’s all love and kindness. All softness. If all’s well she’s happy fussing about with her cave, her world, her cubs. She’s not interested in ego-related aggression like expanding her territory. Far better to make peace, to forge the kind of alliances that allow for a peaceful world in which her cubs can grow. But if you step into her cave and threaten her cubs you’ll see a very different side to all of that softness because she will kill you without hesitation. Not because she’s aggressive in a hot-headed way but out of compassion and love for her cubs. You simply must be eliminated and that’s that.
That is the BAMFness of Aziraphale. It isn’t in opposition to his softness. It grows out of it. His is a righteous BAMFness. He will do everything he can to forge the kind of peace his cubs (Crowley, humanity) need. He’s had no ambitions on anyone else’s territory. But if you step into his cave (the world) and threaten his cubs he will do whatever he thinks is needed to eliminate that threat (break his alliance to Heaven, possess a human, kill a child, argue with the highest authority in Heaven).
And that, for me, is a key lesson Aziraphale gives us: softness is not weakness. That is a lie. There is a kind of ruthless and righteous strength that grows out of softest parts of ourselves. Aziraphale is a soft BAMF.
I think in the series, we see Aziraphale trying to reject and deny his BAMF side a bit, just really fall into being the soft cuddly sofa person, “the nice one.” I think he loses sight, at times, of the fact that he can be both, that he is both, that denying one side or the other is denying himself.
Somewhere between “I’m not fighting in any war” and taking care of the soldier, he rediscovers his BAMF side. Not all at once, not at one specific moment, but action after action shows he is pushing away from his soft side because the world (and Crowley) needs the BAMF angel.
But then he goes too far. He forgets his soft side, and now he’s all-in on killing a child. The BAMF side is where he keeps his strength, but the soft is where his compassion is. He tried to put that side of himself away, and it was nearly a disaster.
But.
Then he finds the balance point. BAMF enough to debate theology with the Archangel fucking Gabriel, soft enough to comfort a scared 11-year-old and help him find the courage to save them.
And…that’s who Aziraphale really is. In that moment, he’s found his best self - the self that is as strong as those around him need him to be, and soft enough to know how to wield that strength.
It might take him some time to get comfortable with the way the two halves occupy his self, but the hardest bit - accepting they are both him, knowing he needs to lean on both sides, seeing them as his inner yin and yang not some dichotomy he has to choose between - that has come, and he has survived it.
@theniceandaccurategoodomensblogreply: No, no — I disagree with this. My whole point is they are NOT separate sides. His is the kind of BAMFness that grows out of softness. His willingness to kill Adam—in that absolutely extreme situation in which he honestly believes it is the only way to save the world—is an act of compassion—for the world and everyone in it—it is the fierce and protective side of compassion. Think: mama bear killing to protect her cubs. He isn’t balancing two sides. It is all one thing. But it is a kind of BAMFness that is rarely portrayed or talked about and so we find it hard to recognise.
@aethelflaedladyofmerciareply: Hmm, I think I didn’t articulate very well and now we’re talking past each other. Let me try again.
Agree:
Aziraphale’s strength comes from his protective instincts and compassion
There is a strength in softness
Soft doesn’t equal weak
They aren’t two sides that need to be chosen between
However:
Heaven’s strength is generally very aggressive, as is Hell’s. This is the lens through which characters see and understand “strength”
This includes Aziraphale - he doesn’t know his own strength, he thinks he’s weak BECAUSE he doesn’t show that kind of strength (I’m soft!) - he thinks he has to play by Heaven’s rules, be one or the other.
And as a result, he feels the need to be less compassionate while saving the world - he is still being protective of the world as a whole, but he THINKS his natural compassion and desire to protect those in front of him is a weakness
This leads to him almost shooting Adam, when a more measured assessment of the situation would have made him realize that he should be trying to help the child.
Then, while watching the Them beat the Horsepeople, he realizes his mistake. He recognizes their strength, and his own, and is able to embrace the balanced strength that comes natural to him
(What I’m reminded of is how in martial arts, people think of being calm and being active as two separate states - you’re calm/at rest/patient, or you’re active/emotional/strong. However, practitioners know you get the best strength from that calm state - they aren’t opposites, you use calm to fuel activity. Acknowledging this and finding your strength in the calmness is an important early step.
(The kind of strength Heaven shows is an opposite of compassion; Aziraphale’s flows from compassion. When he accepts his own strength, he rejects Heaven’s and becomes the better version of himself. It feels like balancing two sides when you do it, but it’s not - it’s rejecting the part you don’t need and learning to draw your strength from the right source.)
I hope that makes more sense…this is very hard to put into words!
@angel-and-serpentreply: He’s a level-headed BAMF. He believes in sacrificing one for the sake of many, if that’s what it takes. He wishes it wouldn’t come to actual violence, though. Destroying the Antichrist isn’t a nice job, but somebody has to do it and Crowley is too busy crying over his car, really darling I could use some help here!
Once he sees that Adam isn’t the unholy threat that they both imagined, but a child - a human child, no different than the other humans he’s been charged to protect - his priorities change then and there.
@theniceandaccurategoodomensblogreply: Yes. While he honestly believes—a totally reasonable belief at the time too—that the only way to save the world is to kill Adam, it is a morally reasonable step to take. It isn’t a failure of softness, it is motivated by compassion. If, when faced with the same scenario, he refused to kill Adam he would have had to live with the death of literally every other child on the planet.
Look, let’s be clear on this: from the moment the Antichirst was born Crowley was fucked. Even if he managed to avert Armageddon, the forces of Hell and Satan himself was still going to come after him and destroy him for it. So, of course, he had an escape plan. He HAD to have an escape plan.
From the moment Crowley delivered the Antichirst Crowley’s plan was:
1. Do absolutely everything I can think of, including enlisting Aziraphale’s help, to prevent Armageddon.
2. When I’ve done absolutely everything I can do and the forces of Hell come to destroy me then I will escape of Alpha Centauri, and hope that it was enough. Oh, and I’ll try really hard to convince Aziraphale to come with me.
Crowley doesn’t even mention Alpha Centauri to Aziraphale until it seems to Crowley that they are all out of ideas. Further, just mentioning an escape plan is NOT the same thing as literally running then and there. Crowley does not attempt to put his escape plan into place at all until the forces of Hell are at his doorstep.
It is not selfish for Crowley to have some sense of self-preservation. It is not selfish to have a back up emergency escape plan for if doing everything you can think of is still not enough. It is not selfish to run from the literal forces of Hell attempting to destroy you personally because you tried to save the world.
It was Crowley’s idea to try to avert Armageddon. The moment he knew about the Antichrist he was straight onto trying to prevent it without any hesitation. Crowley is the one who convinced Aziraphale. And he did it all knowing that if Armageddon didn’t go according to plan he personally would be blamed. He’s fucked either way. So, of course, he was at least partially motivated by love of the world and preventing suffering and all of that. The real reasons spill out when he’s drunk: dolphins. Dolphins, that’s my point.
Can we please stop condemning him for making an escape plan? Can we stop thinking that having an escape plan means that Crowley ‘you can’t kill kids’ never had unselfish reasons to save the world? Can we please stop condemning him for wanting to live?
And please, if you are sacrificing your whole life for the greater good, stop. Do your best AND make escape plan. It is okay to want to live your life.
There’s something about how Crowley throws out that line: what if the Almighty planned it like this all along? that is just so empathetic and caring and selfless… He knows that Aziraphale has had the ground ripped out from under him, he’s lost all faith in Heaven, he’s literally lost Heaven in fact, he will have to discover what exactly being on his own side with Crowley means (Crowley has been on his own side for a very long time now I think, not so much has changed for him). But Crowley sees there’s something that could make it easier. Aziraphale could retain his faith in God herself choosing to believe that it was all God’s plan, including Aziraphale and Crowley forming their own side. I don’t for a moment believe Crowley actually thinks that’s likely (possible perhaps but not likely) or even particularly cares in a sense (he does what he thinks is right, he follows his own compass and doesn’t need to be told it is in the plan to be alright with that). But he gets where Aziraphale is and he just offers this up as a gift, says it casually like it is no big deal and let’s the seed take root. Like he could have tried to get Aziraphale to see it all as he does but he doesn’t, he helps Aziraphale to make his own peace with it all, to figure it out in his own way. Wow, even here he’s the ultimate defender of free will isn’t he?
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@fuckyeahisawthatreply: Oh interesting! I like this interpretation because this has always seemed like…not a very Crowley line to me. (So much so that I had convinced myself it was Aziraphale’s line until I went back and watched the scene again.) But I really like this take on it!
@amuseoffyrereply: Here’s a thing, though: Crowley does believe in God and he questions Her so many times. This is such a him thing to say because when we saw him yelling at Her in the privacy of his own home, he said “You’re testing them, I know you said you’d be testing them”.
To me, this line reads as him realising that humanity wasn’t the only thing being tested. God was testing her angels and demons and everything else in between. She planned it all like this, knowing Aziraphale and Crowley, the only morally grey, imaginative, enthusiastically loving creatures of Heaven and Hell, would be there. She let them share the gift of free will that humanity had and watched them run with it knew they wouldn’t let her down :)
@theniceandaccurategoodomensblogreply: I definitely think God is testing the angels and the demons too and that Crowley realises that, yes. I personally, don’t have faith that God’s plan is all for the ultimate good, that she ensured it would all specifically end up as it does (rather than just testing and seeing the results which is quite different I think). I don’t think Crowley has that faith either, but he’s ok with Aziraphale having that faith as it helps him. The whole “believes in” thing doesn’t really apply. Crowley knows God exists. He believes in God like we believe in the ground under our feet. He is incapable of being either an atheist or a theist in any human sense. The only faith relevant is faith in the plan, faith that God doesn’t just exist but is to be trusted, is a force for the good, is actually in control. I don’t read Crowley as having that personally. He doubts her the whole damn time.
@here-for-analysis-and-squeereply: It echoes his doubts in the garden “what if we both did the wrong thing”, and questioning the God’s plan back then, all the way back
I sometimes wonder if the good in Crowley actually draws attention from other Demons.
He’s obviously an outsider because of his love of human’s and his unnatural imagination but there is also a spark of good, dare I say holiness, still lurking in him. I wonder what would have happened if Crowley had stayed in Hell instead of going up to Eden. Would the good spark in him die eventually? Would the other demons feel it?
If you think about it, Crowley from the show (that last bit is important) isn’t that apalled by being a snake. It’s mainly related to the trope I often see in the fics: Crowley being shy about showing himself to Aziraphale in his snake form and frankly I don’t think it makes much sense.
Because, at the very least, he:
chose to introduce himself to Aziraphale in his true form. In fact, Aziraphale’s reaction (or, rather, the lack of it) ensured a friendly start of their relationship, I think. I really like how blatant a move it was on Crowley’s part – no cheating here, I’m a snake and that’s how it is, sorry bud;
manifested as a snake just for fun in ep 2 in order to scare a human (no negative reaction from Aziraphale either);
showed his eyes to Aziraphale without hesitation, in a manner suggesting he’d been doing it for quite a while;
wears very noticeable accessories that scream I’M A SNAKE.
He changed his name, yes, but I really think it was about the way it sounded. Snakes can be different: some squirm at your feet and some coil around angels (remember how he’s circling Aziraphale). Crowley’s the latter ;) In short, it’s more about his stance and character than about his true nature.
If you think about it, Aziraphale is more judgemental of Crowley’s driving skills (notably, not enough for Crowley to change his driving habits anyway) than of his snaky nature. So why would Crowley suddenly be shy about it is a mystery to me.
Part of the reason I enjoy the “Crowley is insecure about being snakey” trope so much in fics is precisely *because* he’s so loud about being snakey. One reading of that is that it could be a little performative. He already has snake eyes, a snake tattoo, and (depending how literally you take the hissing) a tongue that can be snakey. On top of that he’s choosing to wear all these snake accessories and have snake decor in his house. It feels… aggressive. Like, “Yeah! I’m a snake! Fuck off!” And his audience for that is going to be in four groups:
Humans, who he seems to enjoy messing with or just playing around with the fact that he’s a demon and they don’t understand that super well.
Hell, who he’d need to play up the scary, threatening, cunning parts of himself for.
Heaven (ditto the above).
Aziraphale.
And it’s with Aziraphale and how Crowley acts around him that, to me, makes the trope really interesting. Yeah! He slithers right up the wall first thing to meet him… when he’s not *Aziraphale* yet, when he’s just another angel. To me, that felt like a power move, or at least him kind of fucking around with whatever square just let the humans escape. He’s just gotten done doing his first job for Hell, which necessitated being snake shaped. He could have transformed in the garden and then flown up, but he chose to transform in front of Aziraphale. It was intentional. And then Aziraphale reacts like he does, and tells him about the sword, and he’s not just *an angel*. He’s his own category, and he’s interesting… and we don’t see him going full snake around him ever again in the show. We never see him go full snake again at all. He’s always carefully controlling himself.
He has snake eyes, which he hides behind sunglasses from everyone, even from Hell. Once sunglasses are invented, he seems to only show them to Aziraphale, but still exerts control over them to make the irises small. Even when it’s just the two of them alone in the bookshop, he’s controlling them, and the control only slips when he’s stressed or in danger. (Aziraphale, notably, wears his eyes full snake during the body swap.)
His hissing, too, to borrow a line from the book, is something that he does when he’s forgetting himself.
It feels like such a careful performance. Very external, very controlled. Snakey, but never full snake. Never hiding that he’s snakey, advertising the fact really, but concentrating hard to ensure people only ever see the parts he want to be showing.
Aziraphale knows he’s a snake. Met him as a snake, and doesn’t seem particularly flapped by the notion, either. But there is a marked and profound difference between someone knowing what you are and embracing what you are. Between someone seeing the strange and scary parts of you and saying “alright, I can deal with that” and someone seeing them and saying “I love you not in spite of these things, but BECAUSE OF them.” For a character who was cast out of Heaven for being unacceptably different, that kind of unconditional acceptance and cherishing of his differences would be astounding.
THAT’S why it’s such a common trope, whether or not you think canon supports that reading of Crowley’s attitude towards his snake aspects as being a little insecure (though I do, personally).
Not to get too real worldy here, but I’m queer, and the difference between “ok, you can be that, but do you have to be so loud about it?” and “be whoever you are and I’ll love you even more once I can know more about you” is MARKED. I’ve heard that I shouldn’t make being gay my whole personality, and that putting rainbows on everything is being too obnoxious, and you know what? It just makes me want to be more obnoxious and put more rainbows on things. And I’m proud of being who I am, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still painful when I’m pushed away for it, or that it’s any less joyful when I’m unquestionably accepted.
So the reason why I love that trope so much is that I see this terrified, trying so very hard to be cool demon swaggering around on screen, practically shouting “I’M A SNAKE, I’M DANGEROUS,” when it’s a part of him that’s been shunned and punished literally since the beginning of time… and I go “Oh, damn, that feels familiar.” And I want him to get that unconditional acceptance and love from Aziraphale once they’re safe to be together. To not *have* to control his eyes around Aziraphale because he knows he’s safe and loved and somewhere he can finally completely relax and stop performing.
Of course, canon supports multiple readings and headcanons besides, but I figured I should explain my personal reading + rationale for why the trope is appealing.
It’s the ease of being seenvs the mortifying ordeal of being known.
Their interaction in the Bentley in 1962 is not a rejection, it did not break Crowley’s heart. It was not hard for Crowley to hear “you go too fast for me”. He did not spend one moment torturing himself with that line. Crowley has his big slapped in the face rejection by Aziraphale moment and it is this one:
By not just refusing to even consider obtaining holy water but also not listening to Crowley, and calling their relationship–something Crowley was planning on fighting Heaven and Hell for–“fratenising” Aziraphale reaches right into Crowley’s heart and smashes it. He definitely replays Aziraphale’s exact delivery of “fratenising” over and over in his head for years to come.
But this:
This isn’t a rejection. This is hope. Crowley isn’t broken by this interaction. He is moved. That isn’t sadness. Well, there may be some sadness there. But in the same way that we may we cry at weddings or over newborn babies. It is awe, a kind of reflective openness. It is tender and hopeful. He is aware he has been handed something precious and for the first time has hope that there’s more to come with just a little patience.
By handing over the holy water Aziraphale is undoing his great rejection of Crowley and acknowledging that they do have their own side and it is worth fighting for. By saying that one day they might have a picnic or dine at the Ritz he is saying that they might have a future together after all.
In spite of the “too fast for me” this isn’t Aziraphale putting on the brakes, if anything this is Aziraphale speeding up, rushing towards Crowley to meet him halfway with promises of more to come.
For Crowley, this interaction is probably the clearest confirmation he’s gotten in 6000 years that Aziraphale actually does feel something for him too and might one day act on it. There’s no way he goes home from this depressed. He goes home deeply moved, hopeful, and reflective. What he’d been thinking for so long was a unrequited love might be requited after all.
Again,@tsilvy, why would you hide this in the tags
David Tennant and Michael Sheen on Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship
“That’s really annoying for him” is a bit that doesn’t get played up enough in fanfiction I think
Yes! I think maybe it’s because it breaks down his efforts to be cool.
Just to get a tiny bit meta for a minute, there was that post earlier about the thermos of holy water representing their love, and now I’m thinking of it again. What could be any more achingly uncool than a thermos flask? A tartan thermos flask? And yet that intrusion of tartan nerdiness into the spare, monochrome world of Crowley’s flat stands for everything that is most important to him, everything that he’d give up his cool for, give up his safety for, go to the end of the earth for. It stands for Aziraphale loving him back.
It’s also potentially the end of him, and he hides it away. But he keeps it safer than anything.
Very much so.
You got to think, too, sometimes it goes through his head as he’s busting into the Bastille because Aziraphale was craving crepes or dancing down the aisle of a church to foil a Nazi plot — it’s gotta run through his head that it would be so much easier if he could just ignore Aziraphale.
If he could just shrug it off, say “it’s his own dumbass fault” and just catch up if he ever re-corporates.
Or even just ignore that little anxious look of “could you do this for me?” Or tell him to knock it off whenever the “I’m gonna magic trick” face comes out.
But he can’t. Because despite everything, he does love Aziraphale, and that means pulling his stupid butt out of the fire every few centuries again. It means doing really annoying favors because how can he not? And it means watching the damn coin trick every time because even though it makes him cringe with second-hand embarrassment, it also makes Aziraphale happy and that’s always worth it.
And it’s just - arg - so annoying!
Yes! But! And! Aziraphale’s world is the only one in which Crowley gets to be cool. All he wants is to be suave and sophisticated and COOL, and all those things that act as an armour over the fragile, uncertain, vulnerable person only seen by God.
But the other demons just don’t get it - Crowley’s standards of Cool are entirely derived from his life on Earth and the antics of these humans he lives among. There is nary a wahoo to be found among them. On earth, the dark glasses and slick suits and up-to-the-minute haircuts mean something. They confer an antiestablishment edge of Cool to everything he does without him even needing to try hard.
And with Aziraphale, Crowley gets to play at being an action hero. He gets to waltz in and save the day. He gets to lounge insouciantly in the corner in dark glasses and take Aziraphale by surprise, then nonchalantly save his angelic arse with a click of his fingers. He gets to waltz (well, OK, hot-step) into a church full of Nazis, lay down a few one-liners and then literally bring the house down before sauntering off to his awesome, sleek car.
He can’t stand the magic show because it’s so massively cringey (thank you, Gaiman and Pratchett for the phrase ‘contact embarrassment’) that it taints him with its lack of Cool. But nobody else cares because nobody else knows who Crowley is or how cool he’s trying to be.
But Aziraphale knows. He doesn’t always get it (“Oh, bebop”) but he sees what Crowley does and what he’s trying to be. Aziraphale, the nerdiest nerd to ever nerd, sees Crowley’s Cool and adores him for it. You know it’s true because when he comes to play Crowley, he slams it like Dorothy Parker. We see Crowley in Hell a few times, but he is at his coolest when he’s played by Aziraphale.
And meanwhile, the Cool that Crowley wants to be but doesn’t feel inside is the thing that he sees in Aziraphale. As nerdy as Aziraphale is, when his back’s against the wall he’s an ice cold bastard. Crowley *wishes* he was that. His portrayal of steel-resolve, stiff-upper-lip, officer-and-a-gentleman Aziraphale facing down hellfire is what every plastic James Bond wishes they could be.
He simultaneously can’t stand what Aziraphale is like and adores him for it.
I can also imagine that Crowley has, in the back of his mind, an image of what the perfect partner for his aesthetic would be.
Like it varies a bit over time. But you know. He’s theoretically bringing the suave, cool, confident hero. So he needs a clever and quick-witted side kick, or a firy sexy “Bond chick” (though he is gender non-specific, I just couldn’t think of a male version), or a partner who is as cool as him with a perfectly timed back-and-forth dialogue that stuns and amazes their enemies.
And Aziraphale just…consistently fails to be any of these. He’s just a nerd, and not even like a cool nerd who can bring the latest tech, no he’s this cuddly bookshop owner in an outdated suit who takes biscuits on secret missions. Like what?!
But Aziraphale is also — beyond any shadow of a doubt — the best partner he could ask for. He’s smart, he can follow Crowley’s lead or come up with plans of his own, he knows what Crowley wants when he needs it, he is an absolutely terrifying bastard when they’re under pressure, and he does not ever give up.
And he happily embraces whatever weird schtick Crowley has going on this century. Oh now you’re a cool brooding hero? Ok. Suave badass? If you say so. Are we going Byronic again? Yes dear I’ll get your fainting couch. Crowley could declare he was Batman and Aziraphale would roll with it. Complete acceptance, no strings attached.
Like, how is Crowley NOT supposed to fall in love with that?
Yes to all of this. But also—
Loving Aziraphale significantly decreases Crowley’s chances of survival. Crowley doesn’t like it in Hell. He isn’t indoctrinated into the BS like Aziraphale. Without Aziraphale, I think he’d have escaped to Alpha Centauri or whatever possibly before the Antichrist was even born. Course he wouldn’t have been happy…
And yet, Crowley sought him out. Crowley struck up their first conversation, and several more after that, and of course he came up with the Arrangement. He had all sorts of practical, even selfish reasons for doing this: he was bored, he was lonely without anyone else who’d understand his position, it made more sense to split the workload and not waste their mutual time, it’s fun getting drunk and talking about random shit. But falling in love was the bit he didn’t plan, and couldn’t control, and it ran away with him, transforming the entire relationship, tying him to Aziraphale in inextricable ways, do that even when it wasn’t selfishly convenient or practical to be around him, Crowley had to anyway. He can’t even pretend there’s anything demonic about that. It’s confusing and frustrating and overwhelming and terrifying. And Crowley (and David speaking for Crowley) translates all of that as ‘annoying’, because that’s just… how he deals with things.
