#i wrote a poem

i told you i loved the night we spent together

i wish i could have captured the grin you wore

so proud of the terrible things you did to me

how i love that smile

the same lips that grazed my skin not long ago

the same hands that caressed my doll-like body

the same hair that I tugged on as i made a show of your acts

it was only an act

all of the good things came to an end

the heavy breathing started

my lungs were collapsing

my heart forgot to beat

it was too busy aching to love you

wishing to be more than just a body

how i envisioned the night sky sitting next to you was so much more beautiful when i hadn’t experienced it

whenever i felt my dream coming true there was a different feeling in the air

you were never there to watch the stars and fall in love

you were there to push me to your car

to rip of my clothes as i let out sweet fake moans into your ear

i couldn’t see the sky from the backseat

as my heart sank into the driveway below us

all i wanted was to fall in love

all you wanted was to fall into the rhythm of sex

making love they call it

we didn’t make love that night

my love was lost

somewhere out in that bright beautiful sky that i wanted to experience with you

i wanted to feel the rise and fall of your chest not feel the rise and fall of my body on top of you

we had very different plans for that night

i just wanted to see the stars

i’ve witnessed the cavities slither their way into his brain

etching out the desire to get out of bed

rotting teeth were never so beautifully maddening

the poor man didn’t stand a chance against the decay in his mouth

-sundayafternoonsedentary

was i created to lie here forever?

molded into a cancerous being

rotting from the inside out

i have been running from existence for so long

only to find out that i will never be able to escape my predetermined demise

so i will remain here

letting a once lovely creation rot

-sundayafternoonsedentary

something about falling snow is unsettling

peaceful to the eye

silencing the havoc throughout homes with a foot of soundproof encasing

sure the purity of the winter is breathtaking

but my lawn has been walked over time and time again

and the chaos is seeping out through the gaps of my snow boots

my screams echo with snow flakes hitting the ground

this chill in my bones is not serene

i spend hours upon hours lying sedentary within my porcelain throne

filled to the brim with the tears of my past lovers

soaking in the glory of being alone again

~sundayafternoonsedentary

will you turn my brittle body into poetry

when the cold kiss of death finally reaches my solitary corpse

will you interpret the path i skipped along

writing brilliant words of how my spirit dances in the wind

or will i be forgotten?

just to become a feast for the life that lives under the surface

scribbled lines in the once lively flesh

it was never pen ink that cherished me so

if my name has not been lost

and you happen to graze upon my initials in a history book

run to my tombstone

letting it be known that it wasn’t all for nothing

recite to my grave lovely words

soothing my wandering soul

remove my past from the chain around my ankle

let my image seep into the setting sun

allow all that is left of me to be the stanzas of a lifetime

an exhibit of beautiful words bleeding from a lifeless body

permit the future to forget the configuration of my skeletal being

but to devote their time to decipher the words you have strung together to recall my existence

please oh please let me be poetry

- sundayafternoonsedentary

make me a goddess

shaped out of pure divinity

mold my features so that they appear to kiss the setting sun

search my soul with eyes full of lust, love and wondering

so sweetly set me on your pedestal

displaying my celestial substance for all of the mortal beings to gaze upon

I should’ve jumped when the ball-point pen across the room started scribbling

scratching the surface of a worn down notepad

hovering over it, I saw my name

in bolded letters I read the word ALONE

how dare a mystery writer reach into my soul

ripping out my deepest feeling

addressing it like you would the day’s weather

I would’ve complained, if there were anyone to hear me speak

the invisible critic marked another word

AFRAID

my hand connected with the paper as an arrow pointed to my destroyed nail beds

I guess the analysis wasn’t wrong as I drew back my shaky hands

i’m sitting here in the peace of midnight

just trying to reciprocate the terrible feelings i’ve felt

never will i be able to comprehend how i felt with you

and nothing will be said about how my heart shattered when you left

all i have left is the darkness welcoming like an old friend

i’ve dreamed of death countless times

oh how i wish to not have woken up in the last moments before my demise

the sweet seconds before a forever peace are whispering to me

taunting me to stumble into deaths eternal embrace

how beautiful is it to be lonely

whenever the air you breathe has only been touched by your lungs

the emptiness in the echo behind your screams

thoughts to be sorted in the cavern of your cranium

how beautiful is it to be by yourself

i found myself ripping out my eyelashes

blowing them off my finger

wishing that you would find yourself falling in love with me

hoping that star that i pray to every night

would take pity on me

granting my wishes true

“When you’ve been with someone for so long, you fall into a rhythm, a pattern consisting of familiarity. Familiarity is great. It is the most important part of any relationship. At the same time, there are also some bad things about falling into patterns, some habits that can consume happiness and become destructive and self-sabotaging.

No relationship will be at a consistency of one-hundred percent happiness. And again, that’s okay, it’s fine. But once the contentment slowly slips away and all that remains is the familiarity that doesn’t feel genuine anymore, that’s a horrible sign. Suddenly, your partner isn’t satisfied doing the same things over and over again. Suddenly, the unsatisfactory allows itself into the relationship and complicates love languages and what the relationship lacks. Suddenly, nothing feels right and the unhappiness constantly makes the relationship feel heavier.

But it’s not always going to be hard. There will be good days. The love is felt and the connection stronger than it has been in a long time. But when bad begins to cover the good, it appears that there has been no good to begin with. That’s entirely wrong. Good has always remained, underneath the struggles. Where there’s positivity and hope, that’s the sign to keep fighting, to keep improving, to keep listening and changing.

Nothing is perfect, which is a constant reminder these days. The habits of patterns can be broken and there can be a time to refresh and start over. The unhappiness and unsatisfactory will someday fade and all that will remain is the constant love you have for them and a wonderful future of hardships and challenges yet to come.”

—S.V//Patterns//@sempiternal.poet on Instagram



He(my ex, that is) had ruined The Beatles for me

because everytime I listened to them,

I would just think of him

and how he would play for me.

How he would play(he played guitar very well)

here comes the sun

when I was sad.

I had become content(more like understanding I would have to live with it) with

having that sadness that would

set within me when I heard my favorite band play.

I just figured that, surely,

nothing perfect lasts forever anyways.

Then you came along,

and showed me that

perfect things don’t leave,

they just change.

When I played The Beatles that day in the car(you gave me the aux cord and for some reason, I only wanted to hear their voices sing to me)

and you sang along with every word(your voice is good, really, even if you can’t hear it),

I knew that

you were right for me.

Because you fixed it.

I can listen to them without feeling

like something perfect had been lost.

I can listen to them without

wanting to go back to how things may have been(I had been so sucked into that relationship that I didn’t realize till I met you, that it was a toxic one).

And I can’t thank you enough.

I can’t stress how much it means to me that,

I can listen to the voices who inspired me.

Inspired me to be a musician, to sing.

I can listen to them without

regretting so much I let happen.

You may not dub that car ride very important,

but to me it was a significant shift in my mind

and in my heart.

I just want you to know that

while certain things may still make my heart hurt

in regards to my past,

being with you is slowly fixing that.

and filling all the holes I thought were

too deep to be filled.

Here comes the sun, indeed.