‘Ephemera’ Poem

Written by The Silicon Tribesman. All Rights Reserved, 2020.

origami bones

Opening a dance of folded grace

crawling out from under the paper weight

these origami bones can’t stay

creased too long in one place

pressed precisely into position

but the scuffs and bruises of indecision

still mar complex arrangement of limbs

and so I collapse and start over again

n.a.

Wether it’s the hope of love

The grief of love

The lesson of love

Or the regret of love

Once you have loved

It always remains

༄

You said you wanted all of me

So here I am

Darkness

Melancholy

Rage

Why are you walking away?

༄

You know what you’ve done

But to say it out loud

Is too brutal a reality

It would be suicide by honesty

And you are such a coward

༄

I remember a time when

I thought he would change

When I thought that my love

Would take his anger away

What a dangerous choice

I was willing to make

To sacrifice myself for a man

Who could never be saved

༄

I remember his hands

The way they held me so tightly

The way they let me go

༄

With you

I am drowning

In despair

I breathe

Incurable sadness

Not air

༄

The day will still come

No matter how hard you close your eyes

The night will kiss the day goodbye

Painting colors in the sky

Welcome the darkness

Embrace the light

Don’t fight against the up’s and down’s of life

༄

If forever is a place

I hope I go there with you

But I know that heaven will sigh

When you arrive with tears in your eyes

Wishing you could face the fire

Just to bring me too

༄

The truth is

I am ordinary

This realization is equally painful

As it is liberating

༄

I was 16 years old // a little bird with no nest // or shelter from a storm // I’d been wandering a long time before I found them // my mother called them a den of foxes // wild and sinful // but they called me sister and sweet child // her mother taught me how to be a green witch // her father showed me how to change a tire // and her grandmother taught me how to spread my little wings again // I took to the skies years ago // been flying on my own for awhile // every now and then though, I visit my den of foxes // and they reteach this little bird what family is meant to be

thicker than water // hnl 2019

The brim of my coffee mug lined with strings of dews

The radio played the afternoon rhythm and blues

And filled in the void between me and the Autumn dust.

There was a time wherein children sitting in a circle must,

On a sheet of paper paint their fancies with the crayons,

And I covered the arms of the trees in blazing gold and bronze

Pouring a bucket full of sunsets in this liquid town.

Still reminiscing the days whenever I smell Autumn around.

they don’t bite

though they might

cause fright

into the night

their snarls will take flight

howl at the moon til’ morning light

the world still turns despite your plight.

— i s h

@theishentries

astraldemise:

one-whole-rat:

astraldemise:

do you think the process of metamorphosis hurts ? does the transforming creature inside the pupa understand whats happening to it ? do you think theyre scared ? do you think theyre afraid ?

this is so metal and most would call this poetry but reasonably i know from being on this hellsite long enough that you’re just gay and really into bugs

By the light of the morning

I bow my head to pray

Feel her spirit

It invokes me

As i worship where she lays.

pick me apart until i’m nothing but crushed daisies on a sidewalk,

until i’m dreams dashed on the pavement.

pick me apart, love…

pull at my seams,

drag on my soul,

weigh down my world with your burdens.

i will wear them til i drown,

and meet your diligence with my own.

so pick me apart, my love…

and i will hold my fragments in open palms for your perusal

until you take them, with pleasure,

your promises a riot on my heart…

your neglect, the rot i should’ve scented from the start

Like two doomed ships that pass in storm

We had crossed each other’s way:

But we made no sign, we said no word,

We had no word to say;

—Oscar Wilde, The Ballad Of Reading Gaol.

Somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond

E. E. Cummings - 1894-1962

somewhere I have never travelled, gladly beyond

any experience, your eyes have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me

though I have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, I and

my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines

the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals

the power of your intense fragility: whose texture

compels me with the colour of it countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens; only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

Film enclosed - Hannah and her sisters

Short bare Analysis - “somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond” is one such poem. At its most immediate level, it is a poem that honors an inexplicable mystery: how, through the experience of love, one human being can awaken something in the beloved that nothing or no one else has ever managed to touch.

We haven’t spoken for a couple of months after I left, because I was losing myself in the process of loving you. We were toxic for each other, we both know that. But all I can remember is the beautiful moments and laughter we shared. And looking back at those moments, I suddenly forget why I left.

You showered me with lovely words from the very beginning, even when I told you I don’t fall in love easily. When I finally let my guard down and gave in to your love, you changed. Your friendly manners turned mean and the goodnight calls disappeared into thin air. This is why I don’t let people in.

Every time I feel happy for a moment, I wonder when life comes crashing down. And usually it doesn’t take long for something to happen that ruins my perfect moment. Maybe I’m not supposed to be happy. Why?

Before I fell in love for the first time, I didn’t get how two people could just break up and never talk to each other again. How could you do that after all the history you made together, I thought. But now, as I am heartbroken, I get it. You can’t just go back to being friends and pretend like nothing happened between you two. You can’t watch your ex-lover move on and meet someone else. It’s simply too hard to watch the person you once loved more than you loved yourself, look at someone else the way they looked at you.

You always told me I shouldn’t worry about her. She was just a friend, you said. I notice the way you talk about her with that spark in your eyes. You used to look at me like that. What did I do to deserve your betrayal? Am I not good enough?

I can’t believe how he could just betray me like that. I’ve done nothing but support and love him no matter what, with only disrespect in return. I’m unsure about a lot of things, but I’m certain I did nothing to deserve being treated like this. That’s why I have to walk away now.

I’d like to believe we will meet each other again when we’re slightly older. Maybe then we could love each other unconditionally, and nothing will be in our way. Maybe we will be right for each other. Maybe.

I can’t believe we went from strangers to friends, from friends to lovers, and then turned into strangers again. I shared everything with you, even my darkest secrets. But now a simple hello seems too hard to say. How did we get here?

I don’t want to lose you in my life but we can’t be together the way I want us to be. I guess I’ll have to accept to only have half of you, just so I won’t lose all of you.

If you push me away, you’re not gonna find me where you left me. My heart is big, but not big enough to deal with people who decide to love me when it’s convenient for them.

Nobody told me staying friends with an ex you truly loved is impossible. We can end on good terms, but I can’t be around you anymore. Every small thing reminds me of our time together. And don’t even get me started on your scent, it’s intoxicating.

Reading your old texts is enough for me to fall apart once again. I wish you were the same person as you were in the beginning. How did you turn so cold?  

It hurts so much feeling like I’m never good enough. I feel like I’m only someone temporary until something or someone better comes along. I don’t wanna feel like this anymore. It’s breaking me.

We’ve never skipped a day without talking, until now. It has been three whole days. I don’t know what you have been doing or why you don’t text me anymore. All I know is that I miss you like crazy, but I don’t want to bother you. Maybe it’s supposed to end this way?

All I wanted was to lay down with you after having sex. I just wanted to be held by you. But you didn’t want that. You wanted my body, while all I wanted was your heart.

You always told me I would be better off without you. I used to think you were just insecure and you wanted the absolute best for me. That wasn’t the reason. It actually was a warning. I am better off without you and you knew it all along. It just took me a bit longer to figure this out.

Lumière liquide

il y a cette folie qui s'émane.

Hors de la bougie, elle éclaire l'obscurité.

Au fond du gouffre, elle ne fane

S'emparer de nous, pour mieux régner.

Encore une fois, toujours plus fort,

Les nouvelles lueurs s'évaporent.

A l'état liquide, elles pouvaient persister.

Mais encore, cette brume devenue,

A pu, plus ou moins, nous sauver.

Face à toi, je me retrouve à nu,

Et que devenir parmi ces leurs, ces couleurs ?

Ses mots n'ont de cesse de me hanter.

Ils frappent plus fort encore,

Encore une fois, toujours plus fort,

Que les nouvelles lueurs, qui s'évaporent.

- menthaleau

Sometimes heartbreak isn’t experienced just from losing a lover; sometimes it’s at 3 in the morning and you miss your best friend that you don’t talk to anymore, sometimes it’s when you see a picture of a place you used to live in but you’re very far from it now, sometimes it’s from the stories and poems you read and hear about or when you miss the taste of a home-cooked meal. The human heart is so strong yet so fragile because although it is made of muscle we see and hear and listen and feel and love a bit too much about everything.

Your 20s are as a confusing time as your teenage years, because you have this realisation of new responsibilities and adulthood but you still feel like you’re a child, and you keep on looking at adults to tell you if you’re doing something wrong except you yourself are an adult now, and you keep second guessing yourself through things with faked confidence while also having a nervous meltdown inside, and it feels so freeing but scary at the same time, kinda like the first time you cross the road by yourself.

It’s harder to take the easier path. When you’re living in a society that encourages grind culture. it’s harder for people to choose the easier path because we’re afraid of how society will view us as ‘weak’. But just because you took the easy way out doesn’t mean that you’re giving up; sometimes taking the easy way out means being kind to yourself and putting yourself first, it means patience to gain the strength to do what you want.