#thought of the day
The past is gone, dying, dead.
To remain there is to relive your death over and over.
The future is uncertain, unmade, unable.
To remain there is to continually be shattered and unwhole.
The now is here, clear, focused.
To remain is to be able to explore everywhere.
Where shall we exist?
So thank you for showing up,
Thank you for choosing to love me when I was ready to break-
You didn’t have to.
-I love you too
“there is no sanctuary for the sinner, no rest for those filled with years of misplaced guilt.”
-escape attempt #2
GOD I MISS OPEN HEART
Thought of the Day via Michael Blackwell’s TikTok [6.3.22]
I wanna be hit on by an elegant stranger in a restaurant, but secretly hoping that he would end up fucking me like a slut in the toilets. Is it a normal thought?
I read Oliver would in a sentence and my brain goes blue screen
He(my ex, that is) had ruined The Beatles for me
because everytime I listened to them,
I would just think of him
and how he would play for me.
How he would play(he played guitar very well)
here comes the sun
when I was sad.
I had become content(more like understanding I would have to live with it) with
having that sadness that would
set within me when I heard my favorite band play.
I just figured that, surely,
nothing perfect lasts forever anyways.
Then you came along,
and showed me that
perfect things don’t leave,
they just change.
When I played The Beatles that day in the car(you gave me the aux cord and for some reason, I only wanted to hear their voices sing to me)
and you sang along with every word(your voice is good, really, even if you can’t hear it),
I knew that
you were right for me.
Because you fixed it.
I can listen to them without feeling
like something perfect had been lost.
I can listen to them without
wanting to go back to how things may have been(I had been so sucked into that relationship that I didn’t realize till I met you, that it was a toxic one).
And I can’t thank you enough.
I can’t stress how much it means to me that,
I can listen to the voices who inspired me.
Inspired me to be a musician, to sing.
I can listen to them without
regretting so much I let happen.
You may not dub that car ride very important,
but to me it was a significant shift in my mind
and in my heart.
I just want you to know that
while certain things may still make my heart hurt
in regards to my past,
being with you is slowly fixing that.
and filling all the holes I thought were
too deep to be filled.
Here comes the sun, indeed.
Thought of the day: Having scent glands behind the ears is rare, but for the people who do have them, they are extremely sensitive.
