Next update will be Feb 3rd, but I apologize that I’ve been fairly quiet outside of page updates, and I’m not sure when I’ll pick up again. Just having some thoughts.

Happy Halloween everyone! Here are some sketches of my fav vampires (and their companions) because I’m obsessed with this show

[ID: two pages of traditional pencil sketches of various characters from what we do in the shadows (tv) and some notes. the first page has 3 sketches. the top one is of nadja and laszlo pointing to nandor, who is holding up a finger. a dialogue box pointing to nadja and laszlo says “he did it your honor” and nandor’s says “um…wait a second”. it’s labeled “big sibling energy”. the bottom left sketch is of laszlo and nadja sitting and looking to the left awkwardly. laszlo’s dialogue box says “yikes” and nadja’s says “ugh, human marriage”. it’s labeled “soulmates”. the bottom right sketch is of the guide standing holding a scroll in her hands. it’s labelled “my queen” and her dialogue box says “it’s above my pay grade”. the second page has 5 sketches. the top left sketch is of guillermo holding a stake by his side. it’s labeled “gatekeep” and his dialogue box says “my name is guillermo de la cruz”. the top middle sketch is of nadja holding a pillow and looking to the right, labeled “girlboss”. the top right sketch is of the nadja doll sitting, labeled “gatekeep”. the bottom left sketch is of lazlo sitting in his jalopy wearing massive goggles and looking to the left, labeled “malewife”. the bottom right sketch is of nandor standing at a podium, holding up a finger. it’s labeled “himbo” and his dialogue box says “you will surrender” /END ID]

If I ever lose my battle to depression…

know that I fought…

know that I tried…

know I did my best to overcome.

it was nice of the eclipse to happen on MOONday instead of SUNday hahaha 

am i right?! 

Please.

I’m on hiatus…indefinitely.

I realized that I’m just not having fun anymore and that I feel a sense of dread when I open the Tumblr app.

It’s hard to keep the passion alive when 70% of your notifs are spam likes from blank blogs and rude anons demanding more content. I just feel like a machine who is expected to keep churning out fics with no feedback or interaction.

Part of the reason I loved writing fanfic over writing original stuff was the sense of community. I loved getting feedback, and it helped keep me motivated in a way trying to write my own novel never did. Now that motivation is gone. So I might as well focus my time and energy on the original stories I’ve been neglecting.

To my mutuals and the friends I’ve made on here, I appreciate and love you so much! I’ll still be around to talk to so don’t be afraid to send me messages!

To those of you who reblogged and interacted positively, I’m sorry. I feel guilty for not finishing my series. Maybe I’ll drop a new update every now and then but no promises.

I’m sorry.

Surface Pressure

Wei Wuxian is the strongest disciple in all the Yunmeng Jiang Sect, he was even granted the title of Head Disciple when he was 12 years old!

Sometimes Madam Yu berates Jiang Cheng for this, for not being strong enough, for not being better than the son of a servant and a rogue, but even this doesn’t happen often, even so, Jiang Cheng will always feel bad for not being enough at his mother’s eyes and he will be feeling down for the rest of the day the few times that this happens

Wei Wuxian tries to not feel too guilty about it because he doesn’t have a choice, he has to be stronger, faster, smarter, and better than anyone else! He has to train harder than any other disciple, to meditate and expand his Qi beyond his own limits, to develop his golden core more and faster than any of his peers.
Because if not, he can’t protect his family
Because if not, he’ll be weak and disposable
Because he is blind

He wasn’t always blind though, he was born with beautiful, seeing, silver eyes that looked at everything around him with deep curiosity… But then, during a night hunt, the monster that took his parents from him also landed a direct hit to his head and eyes.

Even so, the change wasn’t immediate

Young Wei Ying spent a few months on the streets before his sight began to deteriorate, with good medical treatment and a strong golden core he could’ve been cured… but instead, the stress, danger, infections that his small developing core couldn’t fight, dogs, multiple injuries in all his body (in his head) and the non-existing medical care finally robbed him from his vision just a year before Jiang Fengmian found him

By then, the healers of Lotus Pier couldn’t do anything to reverse the process, the kid had lost his eyesight, he was blind. The medical team couldn’t do anything about it, but they still taught him to “see”; they taught him that by using his Qi in his eyes, he could see the spiritual energy of every living being, and the more Qi he used, the more Qi he had, the better his “sight” was.

So he started his ridiculously hard training regimen

At first, Madam Yu had grumbled about him once or twice, but in all honesty, it was kind of her fault

After the leaders learned about the kid’s blindness, the woman, in a few moments of pure spite, hate and bitterness, had threatened the child to throw him into the streets again if he ever proved to be a weakness for the Sect.

She never really meant it, but the kid always took it seriously

Everyone in Lotus Pier knows about it… the reason why their Da shixiong is so strong, Jiang Cheng might be dissatisfied with himself for being weaker, but he never is bitter about his brother being stronger. He understands that Wei Wuxian needs the strongest golden core to be able to see

Also, it’s almost impossible to be mad at him, even if he is mischievous and appears to be arrogant at times, Wei Wuxian is also bright and fiercely loyal, and, how can Jiang Cheng be seriously mad at him when the kid keeps stumbling and crashing against trees and walls and overall being clumsy as hell??

He can’t, that’s how. And not only him, but the entirety of the Jiang Sect is really protective of their Da shixiong, they try not to show it out of respect, but really they can’t help it!

Especially Jiang Yanli! She is the most overprotective member of the sect; even if her cultivation isn’t strong, she has become the resident master in the healing arts and protective talismans

Both she and Wei Wuxian spend hours inventing dozens of talismans and arrays together; it was something that Wei Ying came up with in the first place (“It’s alright if you can use your sword shijie, look! today they taught us about this talisman, but I thing that if you invert the symbols…”). Wei Wuxian invents hundreds by himself as well, most of them are ones that make his life easier: a communication talisman, Qi infused paper so he can read, a talisman to help him with directions, etc.

While he and Yanli are masters in talismans and wards, he and Jiang Cheng are masters at archery. Whereas Jiang Cheng is actually the best archer at any given moment, Wei Wuxian can only shoot and hit marks that have some sort of spiritual signature, normal kites, or targets he can’t see them.

In the cultivation world much is said about the Twin Jades of Gusu Lan, especially in the north. In the south though, everyone talks about the Three Lotus of Yunmeng Jiang, with the emphasis on the Head Disciple of the sect; everyone says how bright he is, how genius and strong he is. No one says he is blind… because no one knows.

By the time the disciples go to Gusu for the lectures, the three children have a fearsome reputation. They arrive a week early, to let Wei Wuxian get used to the place and learn to navigate it, no one says anything about it

Wei Wuxian doesn’t have any problems being blind, he is already accustomed to it and he is even a little proud of what he has accomplished even with his condition, but there are times, such as this, that he is a little more than annoyed about his spiritual sight

Wei Ying takes one step inside the wards around Cloud Recess and instantly he has a massive headache. He felt the energy from the outside, but he never expected it to be this bright!! The Jiang siblings look at him concerned and take him to the healers (the Jiang Sect only tell about Wei Wuxian’s blindness to two people: the Lan Sect Leader, Lan Xichen, and the head healer Lan Hui)

Afterward, in the middle of the night, Wei Wuxian wakes up for some reason and he can’t go back to sleep. So, feeling restless, he goes for a walk (adjusting his Qi to lessen the brightness of Cloud Recess), only to get lost in the next few minutes; at some point, he takes a turn somewhere and crashes, head first, into a cultivator with the purest, most bright and beautiful spiritual energy he has ever seen

His breath actually hitches and he is pretty sure he is gapping and possibly blushing

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, when the stranger beats him to it

“Venturing out at night is prohibited in the Cloud Recess”

And that is how Wei Wuxian meets the second Jade of Gusu Lan, Lan Wangji

I’m sorry I’m sad.
I’m sorry for crying.
In sorry I’m covered in scars.
I’m sorry I want to die.
I know this isn’t what you expected, when you held tiny little me in your arms so long ago.
I’m sorry.

I’m so sorry.

Story time!

This just happened, I was just at maccas (MacDonalds) and I was waiting for my order not really paying attention. They called my number I went up and I got my food. The problem is that I never order what I grabbed. IT’S SOMEONE ELSE’S FOOD! I GRABBED THE WRONG FOOD! Now, by the time I realise I was out of the door, so instead of going in. I’ve ran so fast from the maccas and I’m never going back.

Why does the universe do this to me