My sister often tells me I am “fake” when I’m on phone calls or in class or work, and this has always rubbed me the wrong way. After thinking about it for awhile, I think it’s because it’s obviously implies that I am not being my authentic self and only portraying a certain side in order to “get what I want” (her words).
But I think you gotta be a little “fake” in life to get to where you need to be.
And first, a disclaimer: I don’t think this is being “fake” at all. I think a person can have multiple sides of them.
For example, when you’re out with your close friends, you may feel at ease and unfiltered. You can gossip, catch up, talk about your favorite TV shows/dating stories/family annoyances, etc. When you’re at work, you have a more polished side of you that shows: you talk courteously, you’re respectful to your coworkers and patient, you only talk about related and professional topics. Obviously, you are not going to act completely the same in all environments: with friends, with work colleagues, in class, etc.
When I talk with my professors, I have a more polished side. I’m not that close to them yet so it’s almost like a casual interview vibe with them, when I go in for office hours. These professors are going to write me letter of recommendations in the future, so obviously they don’t need to know me on a PERSONAL level the way my best friends do. Sure, they can know about my hobbies and things like that. But I’m not going to rant to them about how my sister used up all of my facial moisturizer, and it was expensive, and I was really upset.
Obviously, there’s a line. Don’t be COMPLETELY different from your “work” side and your “personal” side, and have contrasting personalities. I think your personality would show through in both cases (if you’re bubbly and social, that should be portrayed either way), but you’re just restricting yourself on what you’ll share.
I don’t know, maybe I’m not writing about this topic eloquently enough but tldr; be cognizant of what “you” you’re presenting in what environment!
“Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” - Mark Twain
If there was one piece of advice I could give my younger self, I would probably say this: Focus on your own journey, and stop comparing it with other people’s journeys.
I always heard how software engineers could make 6 figures easily upon graduation. Doctors are highly esteemed and select specialties make money out of the wazoo. If you don’t want to go the doctor route, PAs also have the potential to make amazing money.
It took me awhile to understand how each of us have different strengths and weaknesses. And it’s really not great to idolize certain professions without understanding/recognizing the work that goes behind it.
For example: There’s the stereotype that software engineers have “easy” jobs and the tech industry seems so relaxed and chill. “All” they do is code and they get paid a crazy amount of money. I used to admire them and honestly, was jealous of them – I wish I could earn that much! But the reality is, I’ve taken a few coding classes and truthfully, all of the classes were really difficult for me and I was stressed most of the time. I’ve come to the conclusion that coding and programming isn’t for me, or at least certainly not what I’d want to do for a living!
Another example: Doctors are incredibly hardworking. You have to go through YEARS of education and training to be a doctor. And honestly, I can’t handle that.
Recognizing the work behind each profession makes me realize how I wouldn’t be a great fit in those professions and makes me shift my mindset from “WOW! I’m jealous of that profession and wish I could make that much money!” to “Wow! I know I wouldn’t be happy in that position, but I recognize the work that it takes to get there and that’s admirable! Good for them!”
Instead of idolizing certain professions, we should admire when people pursue what they’re passionate about – whether that’s software engineering, being a doctor, working as a city planner, etc. Recognize that certain individuals are better suited for certain professions over others. Certainly, not everyone is suited to be a doctor, engineer, lawyer, etc.
Life is really about finding what your strengths and weaknesses are. When my friends are off pursuing their passions (or still trying to figure it out!), I’m genuinely happy for them. I used to secretly (in my head) compare salaries, benefits, job growth, etc. But it’s so unhealthy to have that competitive mindset. Is there even one job that is clearly the #1 option for everyone? Of course not!
All you can do in life is find what your passion is, pursue it, and if you’re so lucky to have your job and passion line together, oh man - that’s the dream!
If your only personality traits are framed around needing more money/needing more prestige, what happens when you get it? You’ll be fucking lost lmao. You can get to your destination at the same time, but with more enjoyment/fulfillment if you simply let yourself live life.
The worst thing you can do for yourself is never give yourself the opportunity to flourish into the best version of you possible. It’s essentially sentencing yourself to a life of regrets and what ifs. Don’t be afraid of trying! What’s truly worse is waking up at 60 full of regrets for never having tried. Is that what you want? If the answer is no, start trying, keep trying, and don’t give up until you succeed.
Casual cruelty has become so ingrained in a lot of people because we live in a society that is structured in a cruel way. To be quite honest you are obligated to consider the harm of your words and actions no matter your personal hardships.
Invest on skincare, spa days, facials, be mindful of your diet and avoid consuming inflammatory and processed foods, wear your SPF religiously, never sleep with your make up on, make sure you rest 7 to 8 hours daily, exercise, meditate/pray and become in-tune with your spirituality, drink plenty of lemon water daily, drink smoothies, take magnesium and supplement with different vitamins depending on the season of the year, avoid alcohol if possible. Take care and exalt your body and it will take care of you in the long run, don’t abuse it, cherish it.
If you grew up watching Looney Tunes, then you know Chuck Jones, one of all-time masters of visual comedy. Normally I would talk about his ingenious framing and timing, but not today. Instead, I’d like to explore the evolution of his sensibilities as an artist.
VERY ODD. If you like women to be covered up and low key, why wouldn’t you just go for the women that like being covered up and low key??? Why would you purposely go after a woman that is the complete opposite, ask her to be your significant other, then try to change her to fit what you want????
And they say it’s women that don’t know what they want ♀️.
It’s because men like to manipulate, mold, and break the spirit of the women they pursue in order to create their own puppet. They know exactly what they’re doing.
They’ll pursue a woman who’s shy and conservatively dressed and then expect her to dress in lingerie and put on a show for them. They’ll pursue a woman who’s outgoing and dressed to the nines and then expect her to dress down and not talk to other men. They do it on purpose. The purpose is conquest.
Joe DiMaggio married Marilyn Monroe and then wanted her to quit her career and be a housewife. He became enraged when she did this shoot and used it as an excuse to beat her so badly that concerned hotel patrons called the police and her makeup artist had to cover the bruises with makeup the next day.
When asked about that night later on, Joe DiMaggio said, “Things got out of hand, I admit it. But she pissed me off so much. She didn’t care what I thought about anything, she just wanted to do what she wanted to do.”
Arthur Miller married her, and then constantly picked on her and complained in his journals that she embarrassed him, that she was unintelligent, self-centered, a child, a spoiled brat, and a bitch.
When I think about men who chase after one kind of woman and then want her to become another kind of woman, I think about her. I think wow you could be Marilyn freaking Monroe and still some man would want you to be somebody else and call that love.
Some of the best writing advice I ever got was if you’re stuck on a scene or a line, the problem is actually about 10 lines back and that’s saved me from writer’s block so many times.
I feel like I need an elaborate explanation
Often times, I find myself stuck on what a character should say next or what should happen in a scene to connect A to B or so on. When this happens, I fall into the trap of writing and rewriting the same few lines over and over, and becoming more and more dissatisfied every time until I give up.
But problem is almost never actually whatever line I’m trying to write at the moment; the issue is the stuff leading up to the line. Maybe there are structural issues with the set up, maybe I wrote a bit of dialogue that was out of character leading to a discussion that doesn’t make sense, maybe I’m missing a vital piece of exposition or expositing too much. It could be a lot of things, but the important part of the advice is to look back and be willing to consider changes to something earlier in the work (even if you’re really attached to like a piece of dialogue or a particular sentence or something) instead of trying to find a way to force out a scene that’s not working.
people are absolutely EVIL about the boundaries of “picky eaters”. no, they do not have to try it. yes, they can know they don’t like it without having eaten it before. no, they probably have not suddenly grown a taste for the food they’ve said they hate. no, they probably are not going to like it in the Special Way This One Place Cooks It. yes, you are being a bad friend if you try to “trick” them into eating it anyway
Things that actually help picky eaters try new things:
“Do you want to try this off of my plate?”
“It’s made of [ingredients], I think you’d like [x part]”
“If you want to see if you like [x food], this is pretty good representation of it”
“You won’t like this, it tastes like [description]. Do you want to try it for fun?”
“Do you remember trying/have you ever tried [x food]? This is like that, but [differences]”
“I think you’d like the taste of this, but the texture is iffy. It’s [description]”
Make sure there’s other food they can eat if they don’t like the new one
And most importantly, build trust with that person by listening to them, showing that you take their concerns into account, and being cool if the answer is no. No is always an option. This isn’t something you do once, it’s a pattern you have to stick to if you want to establish that you are a safe person when it comes to food stuff
Basically: offer the food, explain what’s in it and why you think it’s worth trying, and then be cool with the answer you get. No pressure, no trickery, just be straight up with people
pokemon go is somehow lower than mario kart tour and fgo how???
Ok my previous answer is a joke and now that I looked at the website, I’m a level 50 pogo player and pogo has a lot of events that force you to play at a certain time, items you can buy to double your xp and spawn pokemon. People have been buying lots of money on raid passes to get shiny Pokémon and/or 100% iv pokemon from raids. People are also arguing eggs are loot boxes, some pokemon, especially if you want a shiny Pokémon are rarer than others.
I am in shock. I began to realize that they slandered me, they told everyone how bad I am. Now my friends are blocking me. What the fuck is that? I know who is behind this slander. But I will not be so stupid as they will not give their names. I will appeal to you, cowards. I considered you friends. Yes, I’m far from perfect. You blamed me for my mistakes in communicating with people who were quite large. I am corrected. But you fellows, you began to slander me so that I did not have friends. I know YOU are reading this. You organized a conversation where you showed screenshots of correspondence with me and discussed me. I didn’t behave well then, but what you did is even worse. What are you all miserable. Thanks to you, I’m losing friends. I hope your popularity and talent will disappear as well as my friends. I’m angry. I AM VERY STRONG ASH. I hope my good followers will understand the cause of my aggression. I hate losing friends. And they prevent me from starting them. This is another story. If you want, I will tell you my guesses. Thanks you.
this is a message for everyone who is 22. if you’re 22 please stop worrying. take a deep breath eat a bagel maybe. everything that feels impossible is going to work itself out. have a great day
do u have a message for 25 year olds
uhhhhh 2 bagels?
30 year olds, make sure you load those bagels up with cream cheese or peanut butter or something tasty
If you’re 42 like me, the message is simply “Don’t Panic”.
