#lotr incorrect quotes
okay but dwarves put SO much effort into their tombs already, carving perfect stone and inscriptions and making records to bury kin with kin and everything, let alone for Gimli son of Gloin Lord of the Glittering Caves.
The years of planning and amounts of paperwork and arrangements for the tomb of Gimli son of Gloin Lord of the Glittering Caves one of the Nine of the Fellowship one of the Heroes of Arda the Elf-friend and sturdy and possessor of the three hairs of Galadriel would be IMMENSE
and then Legolas rocks up in Gimli’s final days of life like: ok so I built this boat
Sometimes I think about how the Mithril shirt Thorin gave to Bilbo was described as something a ‘young elven prince’ would wear
And I just can’t get this image out of my head of Frodo rocking up to Rivendell in that same shirt and Legolas just looking at him like blink blink “why is this small one wearing my bar mitzvah tunic as armor”
*Merry and Pippin sitting in jail together*
Merry:So who should we call?
Pippin:I’d call Gandalf, but I feel safer in jail
Legolas:I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.
Aragorn:You people already know too much about me.
Gimli:I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.
Pippin:*verbal Fortnite dance*
Merry: Haha! …How are you doing that?
My Incorrect Universe #90
*when I first met everyone after coming back Middle Earth from my world after a long break before marrying Thranduil*
Me: I love everyone equally! There’s Thranduil, Legolas…..uh…..
Me: *looks at smudged writing on hand*
Me, sweating profusely: Elmers,Thorax, Brad and …
Me: *squints hard*
Me: Helmet and Lint….
Everyone:
Thranduil: *practically screeching and wheezing in laughter and rolling on the ground*
Legolas: *holding back giggles as his body shakes*
Gandalf, pointing at himself and Bilbo: Do you at least recall us?
Me, full of confidence: Of course! This is Bimbo and you’re Dumbled- I mean Gandhi ahahahah…..
Legolas: *giving up on controlling his laughter* HELMET. HALDIR SHE CALLED YOU HELMET HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Haldir,legit traumatized: I do not deserve this
*Everyone rushes to me to ask whether I remember them*
Me: *was just teasing everyone and now am genuinely taking pleasure in it as I mispronounce everyone’s name on purpose*
Thranduil teasing the others (Especially Elrond and Thorin) about this incident for the rest of their lives:
My Incorrect Universe #86
*When I still lived at Rivendell and “absolutely despised” the caterpillar browed bitch *
Me, standing in front of Thranduil holding a dagger : does this make me look threatening? are you threatened?
Thranduil,raising an eyebrow : absolutely not
Me,cornering him against the wall, menacing: what do you feel now?
Thranduil, breathing heavily : very aroused
*After getting married to the carterpillar browed beautiful man*
Me, backing up my husband into a wall : How are we feeling right now ?
Thranduil, kissing my forehead softly: Abosulutely in love. I would not even feel bad if you stab me because you probably did it for a reason and that is okay I will always love you.
Me, on the verge of crying: Goddammit I’m gonna- I’m gonna punch you with my lips
Legolas, across the corridor with a camera I brought him from my world and a tad bit watery eyed : Disgusting. I AM TAKING A PICTURE
My Incorrect Universe #84
Me : why do you like sending letters to me so much even though I literally work in the library three rooms across you ?
Thranduil : o-obviously because I love you my darling wife!
Me: *sighing* be honest with me….
Thranduil :*mumbling* fine, cause I like making Wax Seals……..
Me : *amused,raising an eyebrow* and?
Thranduil: *mumbling dejectedly*and I want an excuse to spend on more Wax Sealing Sets……
–Later–
Legolas: Why was Adar happily picking jasmines from the gardens?
Haldir, looking towards me smiling adoringly at the envelope in my hand which is sealed with wax and jasmine petals embedded in it:……
Haldir:*smiling* Maybe King Thorin slipped off the Misty Mountains…..
