#modern marauders

remus: yeah napping is restful but have you ever died?

remus: so good

james, returning from a theme park with sirius, remus and peter: so guys what was your favorite ride?

sirius:remus

remus: so, i heard you like bad boys.

sirius: no, not really.

remus: oh thank god.

remus: i can’t believe we’re locked in this room together

sirius: *throwing the key out of the window* truly unfortunate

james: knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. but wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

sirius: philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie.

remus:

remus: common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you twat

sirius: yeah you follow me on social media but will you follow me into war?

remus: shut the fuck up

Sirius, at a coffee shop holding the queue: *Blushing hard* This is awkward. How do I say bye? I mean I’m going to be back tomorrow. Should I go in for a soft kiss?

Remus: *With a poker face* Sir, please just take your coffee and leave so that the people behind you don’t murder you in my shop.

Harry: How much of an allowance did you get per week when you were a teen?

Sirius: Well, well, let me see…

Sirius: I was allowed to be alive, even though my Mum used to change her mind from time to time.

Sirius, to his neighbours: I’m going to microwave an unopened can of peaches and see what happens.

Sirius: *Dreamily* I heard it shrinks everything and I want some cute miniature peaches.

Sirius, an hour later: *Shouting from the porch* DON’T TRY THAT, PLEASE. OUR KITCHEN IS ON FIRE AND MY HUSBAND IS CHASING ME WITH A CANE SHOUTING MANICALLY!

//jily//

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I made this around christmas as a jily christmas aesthetic and it’s kinda nice?