#park jisung

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EVOL — EPILOGUE: I AM SO A VIRGIN

→club pres!renjun x publicity officer!reader

genre: social media au, humor, fluff, slow burn, romance, slice of life, future angst, coming of age, college au

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[only press next if you’re an adult minors do not interact with the bonus chapter]

an:THIS IS 7 MONTHS AFTER THEY GET TOGETHER BTW !! if you guys didn’t get it the title is in reference to jackie (yn’s pfp) wearing a shirt that says ‘I am so a virgin’ in her portrayal as the virgin mary in a christmas episode ha..ha.. anyways the bonus chapter (after this one) is for LEGAL ADULTSONLY -_- I’ll only be tagging blogs that have their age on their blog who I know are adults, making that clear right now !!

taglist:@resceluwu@ellie-idk-anymore@hyunsbunny@aminihhj@flower-lise@eggoyu@haknyeonsju@eboyjuni@nshitae@daegalfangirl@luvdroids@samsemsame@haechansgfreal@butterfliesinthenightsky@lyleo@jiye0n0@haechansittinginatree@dojun00@baekhyunstruly@cwsana@fylithia@artspling@yutashotaro@rynshyuckies@babyjenono@yeonjunisbetterthanyou@runawayreki@kosmiks@bigtittietoji@dandelionxgal@diestheticu@scoups-of-sugar@onlyjenos@john-joong@renjunniex@becoolgirl@vantxx95@hrjchive@karaxomb@carayat@fullsunld@meltinghershey@brightestmark

EVOL — 58: PUZZLE PIECE

→club pres!renjun x publicity officer!reader

genre: fluff, slow burn, romance, slice of life, coming of age, college au

synopsis: you’ve made it clear that it was important he heard what you truly felt towards him, now it’s your turn to hear how important it is to him that you knew how he feels towards you.

wc: 3.6k+

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an: we’ve reached the end </3 dw, some extra parts will be up

“Beomgyu, where the fuck are they?!” Renjun was past scared at this point. You never missed any of Makeout Creek’s performances yet you still weren’t at the venue when the entire show was almost over.

Not only would your spot be complete shit and make his proposal rather difficult but the off chance that you’d just miss the proposal overall was eating him alive.

“I don’t know! I don’t know, neither she nor Mark are answering their phones. All I knew before coming here was that her parents were angry so they’re probably holding her back.” Beomgyu was just as anxious, biting at his nails while trying not to be weak for your future boyfriend.

Renjun mimicked Beomgyu’s actions and bit at his nails, his eyes showing obvious fright while looking around the venue. In only minutes or at least after two more performers, Renjun and the rest of his friends would go up on stage but with you not even in the picture, it was eating him alive.

As in for you, now all you could do was anxiously lay in bed until your parents called you down. Your brother trying to comfort you by showing you his collection of vending machine stickers. “Do you want me to go spy and listen to what they’re saying to him?” He slowly spoke, still woozy from the anesthetics.

He felt slightly guilty; earlier he had gotten his wisdom teeth taken out and his bratty behavior had taken a toll on their parents. The older pair weren’t used to either of their children throwing tantrums from the lack of spending time with them so having their day ruined by one of them not being able to calm down, made them take it out on you.

Despite you taking care of him the entire break and dealing with the tantrums he throws with you to avoid your parents knowing how he is, you could only take solace on the one day of the week you were allowed to go out. Even the entire day when he didn’t want your parents in the same room or the food they gave him, you came to the rescue, knowing well what he liked and would consume.

It wasn’t enough for them though and when they saw you act peaceful compared to their state while getting ready for tonight’s event they laid it out to you that you wouldn’t be going out at all.

Even when you tried to explain that they had already said yes, that you never missed a performance, and Renjun was finally back in town so you wanted to see him— they still wouldn’t let you go.

That’s when they also noticed you throwing a fit. Your constant placement of your hand over your chest, your nails sinking onto your skin, and you cutting yourself off to not say something vile to your parents. There they agreed that they truly didn’t know their children well.

“No, it’s fine. I’m sure Mark can sweet talk them.”

“He’s funny, I wish they would let him come around more often.”

You could only shrug with a sly smile on your lips. It was shameful that your parents never allowed any of the guys to stay for longer than half an hour and if they did, they had to be there. Kenia was the only lucky one to even know how your room looked besides FaceTime calls and pictures.

With a soft knock to your door, he opens it to find Mark making his way inside. “Okay, let’s go.” Motioning with his head, leaving your brother confused as to how he made it that far. “Really?!” Your excitement not noticing your brother’s concerns.

“Yeah, we better hurry before they process that they allowed me to come up to your room.” He smiled, ruffling your brother’s hair. “You’re right, oh my god— You want anything if we stop anywhere?” You asked your brother, gathering your sweater and purse, trying your best to hurry and not miss at least your friends.

He only nodded, gathering his own stuff and going to his room. Once gone, you turned to Mark, surprised that he could make your parent’s mind change. “Dude, what did you say to them?” Through smiles, you made your way down the stairs with him following behind, helping you put on your sweater.

“Don’t worry about it, I always find a way— You should get a jacket too, it’s actually really cold out there.” Agreeing you just grabbed the first jacket on the couch.

Though you didn’t ask questions and let it all be, your parent’s looked from their room window. They didn’t mean to ruin your day so knowing how much it meant for you to keep your streak in the words of Mark along with Renjun’s plan— they changed their minds and allowed you to go.

It was nice to know their daughter was in good hands, how caring your friends were, and the lengths Renjun was going to to profess his love for you. So with just Mark’s sweet words they did it, lifting up whatever restrictions they had.

Mark giving you his jacket after realizing you had taken your brother’s only cementing how you did have people who cared for you.

“Here,” you gave him the jacket in the back seat just so he wouldn’t freeze over either. He took it with a simple thank you, driving off the driveway and to your destination.

Through shaky-shivering voices the both of you conversed, him hearing you complain about your day while he talked about how mild his was.

Nearly to the venue, Mark took a left, parking just right outside a convenience store motioning with his head to follow him.

Though you two were already late and you were scared of missing Chenle and Jisung, you just followed suit not questioning why he decided to stop. Probably because he wanted to get something for your brother.

“I got offered a job by one of my clients.” He smiled your way, his hand reaching for the hotteok packages that read ‘2 for 1’. You smiled at him figuring this was a celebratory snack.

You were ecstatic to say the least, any time he came to you with these news he was always so excited to explain what he was to do. The giddiness in his voice making your chest full with pride.

“Yeah, it’s like long term though. Something about having my own cubicle and all but I don’t know.” He softly smiled, grabbing cups of ice from the cooler, one for you and one for him.

Humming in response you looked through the tea pouches, wondering where it was all leading. “Because you prefer like your own space? Why don’t you bargain with them?” Showing him a pouch to ask if he was interested he just nodded, grabbing two.

“Like how? Ask her if I can get my own office?” He chuckled at the idea, walking to the register and putting the items down along with the ones in your hands.

You nodded in response, taking a hold of the items once they were scanned. “I mean yeah. If they want you that bad why wouldn’t they?” You continued, following behind as he put his card away and walked towards the car.

When he unlocked it, neither of you hesitated to hop in. Even with cups full of ice and on your way to drink the tea, you were still going to complain about being cold.

“I don’t know, I feel like I’ll push my luck. They’re already going to do so much just to get me there if I agree.” Pouring the tea into the cup, Mark’s phone lit up signaling it was charged enough to finally turn on.

Chewing the hotteok before continuing, your eyebrows knitted a bit confused, the neon lights of the store highlighting your features.

Maybe it was because you always tried to get the most out of a situation and never tried to feel bad that you didn’t understand but that was just you.

“I guess it feels silly? Like thinking of all the expenses of just getting me an office in their building or letting me work from home it’ll be kind of pointless cause in that case I might as well stay where I am.”

Confused at his last sentence, time didn’t let you question furthermore. His phone finally rang once again with the angry ringtone designated for Beomgyu.

Checking the time, Mark muttered a soft ‘shit’ before pulling out of the parking space and pressing a button on his steering wheel to answer.

“You’re on speaker.” Mark put in quickly to which Beomgyu’s angry questioning was cut off. “yn in the car?” The one in the other line asked, you responded with a ‘hi’.

“Okay well Chenle and Jisung already started, they’re about to do their second song and they’re only doing three, so hurry up!” His desperation was growing towards the end, Mark speeding to get there.

The venue wasn’t that far from the convenience store but there were multiple traffic lights that you’d have to get through and right now you were four away.

“Is Renjun there?” You cut in, your obvious main goal to be with your lover. “I don’t know, I haven’t seen him. I’m backstage, Chenle told me to stay for when you guys get here so you can get a better spot.” Mark didn’t react but he surely thought it was funny how Beomgyu’s voice got slightly high when he lied.

Disappointment settled within you. You truly did want to go for Chenji but you also missed Renjun so much and this was your only reassurance of seeing him after almost a month.

“Oh my god they’re starting the second song. Can you guys just call me whenever you’re outside so I can let you in? I feel like I’m about to shit myself.” Beomgyu confessed, making the both of you and those around him laugh.

Mark reassured that he was two traffic lights away and that he should calm down, that he was probably more nervous than ‘them’.

Beomgyu’s last scream of frustration was the cause of the phone call to end making both you and Mark laugh. “He’s more worried about my streak than I am.” You joked, struggling to grab the cup without freezing your hands immediately.

“We just want the best for you.” He didn’t turn to look at you but he smiled, the fluorescent lights of the city flashing by his complexion.

He was more quiet than usual which only led you back to the conversation you were having before Beomgyu interrupted.

There was no way to pinpoint anything though. After the happenings at the start of winter break, it had taken a toll on his demeanor so you truly didn’t want to push it.

He had told you how he felt and what he had done and though he was confident and aware that he had let it all go, you still wanted to know if he was truly okay.

You dropped the thought though. If he is sure he was okay then you should trust what he feels about himself.

“Fuck it’s full.” He complained once arriving to the venue. All the parking spots were full and he could only guess he’d have to drive down a bit more to find an open area.

He felt anxious now, not for you but because he didn’t want to miss a second of the performance either. As for you, he planned on dropping you off just right outside, calling Beomgyu and letting him know you were out the back door while he sped to find a spot.

“She’s out there? Okay— okay, shit, um… Park where the performers are parked and come get the permit real quick, I’ll take yn to where Keni and Hak are at and then I’ll come back for you. Guys hide, I’m about to let yn in!”

The last bit was directed towards DNYL, Beomgyu had taken control all night and right now he had his phone stuck between his cheek and shoulder while filling out some paperwork to get a permit for Mark.

Maybe things like these are why the sponsor had made him Chenle’s assistant.

Jaemin, Donghyuck, and Renjun had heard Beomgyu clearly when he told them all to hide, scrambling to hide behind panels and other performers.

As in for Jeno, he wasn’t fast enough, not when he had hardly heard Beomgyu and was on a quest to finish a level in one of his games.

So when Beomgyu had opened the door to let you in, it was too late for him to scram. His eyes widened in horror knowing Beomgyu would scold him now that you had spotted him.

“What are you doing here? I thought it was only for performers.” You teased, greeting the boy. “Special privileges, friends and family passes.” He lied, tucking his phone in his back pocket.

You feigned being hurt, “Wait does that mean I could’ve come back here every time? That’s not fair. I could’ve had more time whenever Jaehyun performed.”

That being your first concern was making Renjun bite at his knuckles from behind a panel where he crouched down. His pained expression making Jaemin and Hyuck struggle to not laugh out loud.

“Yeah, good luck. Last time you couldn’t even move and he was standing right next to you.” You rolled your eyes fighting the urge to childishly stick your tongue out at him.

Thankfully Beomgyu broke the conversation, pushing at your shoulders and out the curtains not even letting you say bye to Jeno, claiming he still had to get Mark in.

Upon passing to the general area and noticing none of the guys were there, you grew a bit worried considering Jeno was the only one back there.

“Hey! I was worried you weren’t going to come!” Kenia greeted you, taking you into an embrace before repeating those actions with Haknyeon.

Chenle and Jisung had already finished their song but they were talking everyone’s ear off seemingly making time for whatever they would do for their last song.

You felt guilty for missing the entire show but right now all you cared for was the fact that none of their friends were there, Mark was still out the venue, and that despite looking all around— there were no signs of Renjun and it was simply making your mood die down.

“Have any of you seen Renjun or the guys?” Your sulkiness was becoming more evident and it was making Beomgyu slowly worry before rushing back to let Mark in.

Kenia and Haknyeon had no say in what was planned. They weren’t aware of anything so they felt most compassionate, rubbing at your shoulder for moral support in whatever you felt when they said no.

Jisung had spotted you looking around, struggling to suppress his own pout. Just as he softly slapped Chenle’s thigh to look your way, Beomgyu and Mark rushed to where the three of you stood. The two men softly panting from rushing and getting the guys prepared.

With a thumbs up towards the boys on stage, Beomgyu braced himself. Getting the clue, Chenle turned back to the crowd, a wide smile on his face.

“Finally our last song. This is actually a special act— quite a sweet romantic act I’ll say. Now don’t laugh, this will be something new for us but I think I’ll let the coordinator speak about it.” The echoing of the mic drowned when he smiled again, moving from his spot to which the curtains opened slightly, revealing his other four friends.

All you mustered was confusion but still relieved Renjun was actually here. Your obvious happiness showed through the wide smile and low squeal that rested on your lips when he smiled your way.

Attaining his position behind the mic, Renjun cleared his throat. “I’m not quite the performer but this means a lot to me and I’m glad everyone involved— guys, Mark, Beomgyu, even those abroad—“ Referencing Yangyang, Renjun turned to you with a smile.

“Thank you for helping me in expressing what I want to say in a more poetic way. yn— this is for you.” An adorable wink your way once again, not helping you stop from squealing in surprise and excitement.

Furthermore as the lights settled and you turned to Kenia, the both of you squealed out of happiness for you, the guys laughing, finding it cute.

The melody was soft, the guitar emitting a peaceful sound that Jisung produced as Hyuck began, his voice catching you off guard for how harmonious it was when most of his singing outside of this were playful broken notes for comedic relief.

It was a sweet feeling within you, the words the boys spewed made your heart swell, pushing you to feel overwhelmed in a good way.

It wasn’t until Jaemin came on and his words followed by Chenle made your smile turn into a delighted pout, the overwhelming feeling pushing its luck. You were in bliss.

“You’re my missing puzzle piece, finally put together. Broken into pieces filled up even my heart’s wounds.” Placing his hand on Chenle’s shoulder and leaning their heads closer, Jisung continued.

You have come to become my everything, my missing puzzle piece.”

They both placed their arms around their shoulder, their soft voices speaking about how the insecurities of being flawed plagued them but you being there helped ease them, helping them fill that void as they could fill yours (of course Renjun being the one with the sentiment).

Behind you the sniffling, making both you and Keni turn to spot Beomgyu and Haknyeon holding back tears or wiping them.

Once they heard yours and Kenia’s laughter they feigned the stuffiness causing congestion, Mark laughing at them as well before making you turn around to enjoy a performance special for just you.

With Jaemin reassuring you that Renjun always carried a piece of you (Referencing either the necklaces or film strips from your film photography days), you clutched at your own bracelet, a way to let yourself know you also carried a piece of him.

Yet with Renjun’s soft voice, your heart only seemed to ache furthermore. It wasn’t in a bad way but rather you have become overwhelmed now and to know someone liked you this much was doing it for you.

His arm hooked around Jisung’s waist, the rest of the guys surrounding the youngest as he sang: “you became a scenery in my world which I used to piece together alone.”

The lot turned to you as it seemed to come to an end and Jeno joined in connecting with Renjun; their words pleading you to not ever be apart from each other as you were his missing puzzle piece.

All that was left was Jisung continuing on strumming a few more strings, the guys smiling at each other feeling proud of themselves and hopeful for your response to Renjun.

When those on stage quiet down and Jisung placed his hand on the strings to signal he was done, the crowd cheered and applauded, thankful for yet another performance.

The lights had been turned off but to give their bows thankful for the cheers, the guys smiled at the crowd.

Renjun’s cheeks turned bright red when he spotted his siblings sitting at the bar and howling for him and his friends.

“Thank you for another night,” Chenle panted in between shy laughs, pushing hair off his face. “Would you want him to ask now or in private?”

Dismissing the crowd to turn to you, it was your turn to feel slightly embarrassed but your wide smile answering for you, barely able to say ‘now’.

The boys on the stage cheered when they knew your answer, patting roughly on his back and arms, pushing him towards the stairs to get to you.

Enthralled in the public commotion, the crowd followed his figure. “It’s quite overdue and I’ve been meaning to ask many times but something always stopped the plan but I truly want you in my life, forever if it’s possible—“

Holding his breath and his hands reaching for yours, Renjun smiled with an awkward laugh leaving his lips. “It would be a great honor if you agreed to be my… girlfriend. So would you?”

Renjun was still shy enough to ask the question, biting at his lower lip anxiously and his eyebrows living their own life as they contorted to his feelings.

You knew the question was coming but you still weren’t prepared to fully hear it coming from his mouth.

Eyes widened and your smile bigger than ever, your hands gripping his even more whilst you began to nod. “Yes! Oh my god, yes! I’d love to.” Pulling him into an embrace that made him relax and fall into a pit of his own laughter, his friends cheered which ultimately caused the crowd to also join the rumble.

Perhaps the majority didn’t care but it was entertainment you were giving them all. The cherry on top when you went in for a kiss, Renjun’s grip on your waist tightening as he kissed back.

With the echoing calm laughter emitting from the speakers, Chenle spoke against the microphone. “Again, thank you for the support and for helping these two. Have a good night!”

All in all you were extremely overwhelmed, prideful that you had friends that went out of their way to bring this joy for you and Renjun.

With that added, you’re glad your first love was with someone who also loved you, loved you immensely and for that you’ll thank whoever is out there looking out for you.

taglist:@resceluwu@ellie-idk-anymore@hyunsbunny@aminihhj@flower-lise@eggoyu@haknyeonsju@eboyjuni@nshitae@daegalfangirl@luvdroids@samsemsame@haechansgfreal@butterfliesinthenightsky@lyleo@jiye0n0@haechansittinginatree@dojun00@baekhyunstruly@cwsana@fylithia@artspling@yutashotaro@rynshyuckies@babyjenono@yeonjunisbetterthanyou@runawayreki@kosmiks@bigtittietoji@dandelionxgal@diestheticu@scoups-of-sugar@onlyjenos@john-joong@renjunniex@becoolgirl@vantxx95@hrjchive@karaxomb@carayat@fullsunld@meltinghershey@brightestmark

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jisung, a gen z kid, in a casual conversation: yeah i saw mark performing today. he’s such a king. stan mark lee for clear skin. yeah ❤

ten, a frustrated millennial who is coping with the fact that his sense of nihilism has been matched: what does that mean?

kun, trying to connect with the youth: it means mark has big dick energy

— TEXT ME!

pairing: park jisung x reader 

genre: fluff | wc: 0.1k | disclaimers: none

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[ : ]

“h-hi! do you need something?” you didn’t realize how high your voice had gotten, slightly embarrassed you began to look around, you just couldn’t bring your eyes to meet his again.

“ah yea! i’m jisung.. and uh i.. ithinkyourereallypretty” he looks down at the floor, regretting the current situation he was in.

you giggle lightly, realizing what the cute unknown boy was trying to say to you.

until you realize you have to speak to respond to him… you start getting nervous.

“me? oh.. really? hahahaha.. th-thank you? you.. you are too! oh my go-”

you stop your horrible attempt at speaking, realizing he shoved something in your pocket as he heard “you too,” .. then watched as he ran off to his group of friends that welcomed him with loud cheers o_O

“ 538-842-9436 ”

text me! or don’t… but i hope you do!

i’ll be waiting ahaha..?? :P

- park jisung B)

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© jjaehyuk, 2021. all rights reserved.

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Boyfriend Dreamies ☁︎

First Contestant : Park Jisung


★not big on pda, purely because the others will either make fun of him, or just embarrass him. when you’re alone he’ll take care of you.

★forcing you into his hoodie or tossing a blanket around your shoulder if you appear cold. bringing you snacks and drinks even if you decline it.

★please don’t decline it, he just wants to take care of you in the same way that others take care of him

★when watching shows or movies he’ll subtly move closer to you, place his arm around your shoulder, or place his hand on your thigh. despite him being taller than you he’ll make himself appear smaller, placing his head on yours. the only thing that makes him happier than touching you, is when you switch it up, turning towards him and wrapping your arms around his waist practically sitting on his lip.

★both of you would play around with just how you’ll cuddle, but Jisung would definitely just gain the confidence to pull you onto his lap.

★he just wants to touch you, what can he say.

★he’d beg you to sit on his lives, but when you do he won’t be able to stop glancing behind the camera at you. his manager would be the only one actually able to make him focus, but his eyes would constantly go back to you. if he’s dancing every new choreography he attempted he’d look at you waiting for your approval. overall, his manager might have to temporarily ban you from sitting in on lives.

★if you have a bad day, he’ll appear on your door step with snacks and your favorite food and drinks.

★if school work is stressing you out then he’ll ask you to take a break. even if your deadline is in three days, how can you say no to him? this man knows what to do to get what he wants, and he will not take aegyo off the table if it gets you to take a break.

★once you save your work he’ll pull you into his lap, or pull you on top of him. your head laying on his chest, so he’s able to rub your back. he’ll sing or just talk to you about their latest comeback (universe)

★his actual plan was for you to fall asleep, which he completed

★once you’re asleep, I feel like he’d confess. yea, you’re already dating but this man would always just feel the need to confess if you fell asleep around him.

★dates are always well thought out. for example, a picnic. if there any foods you talked about wanting to try, he’s got it. the picnic may not be in an actual park, but he’ll convince someone to let him onto the roof of the building.

★he’d of course have the softest, thickest blanket he could find, along with spare blankets and pillows. if you shift even once he’ll assume you’re uncomfortable and get you another one so that you can be comfortable.

★cupcakes from the bakery you always wanted to, that menu item you’d been questioning from your favorite restaurant along with Jisung’s favorite foods (just in case you didn’t like yours)

★he’d bring you up there maybe an hour before sunset, by the time you’d finish eating and joking around the sun would be setting. my man loves to cuddle, he’s pulling you into his lap so that you can watch the sun set and the moon rise. fairy lights are strung up around just so that it’s not too dark, but it still allows you to watch the stars

★Jisung will actually confess after a date. and once more, yea you’re already together but he’d still feel the need to tell you. will definitely leave you crying, and he might panic at first, but once you say I love you back he’ll relax, and might even laugh at your extreme reaction

★yea I need a boyfriend.


(a series that I’ll be trying to push out during exam week)

Jisung: pass me some enslaved potassium please

Taeyong: excuse me?

Chenle: he wants bananas

Jisung: *talking about having a panic attack at a dance*

Johnny: wow you had a panic at the disco

Jisung: I scream

Chenle: you scream

ChenJi: We all scream

Renjun: just constantly each day is a new nightmare in this hell world we call earth

Mark: what the actual fuck Renjun

note; thank u for requesting! i’m sorry if this is bad,,

nct masterlist (lnks will be added later)

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

‘Sungie, it’s your turn,’ you mumble sleepily, shaking his shoulder gently.

‘Ok,’ Jisung murmurs back, ‘I’m going.’

You and Jisung had just had your first child together, a daughter named Chunae.

It was hard.

You found that you had fallen so much deeper in love with Jisung over the course of your pregnancy and the first few weeks of your little girls life. You would walk into the nursery and find Jisung asleep in the armchair with the baby on his chest, matching bottom lips sticking out. It filled your heart with so much love and pride at what you’d built with him, the happiness and home that you’d created together. For Jisung, he couldn’t believe he finally had a baby of his own. He’d seen so many of his members become fathers over the years, and had longed to become one himself for a long time. Now that he was one, it hadn’t fully sunk in yet, but he loved Chunae more than anything.

Despite this, Chunae was not an easy baby. For her first week of life, it was generally somewhat straightforward to calm down. It seemed to be one of four things; she was hungry, she needed changed, she wanted a cuddle or had a bad stomach.

These situations were fairly easy to resolve - you would breastfeed her or Jisung would give her a bottle, she would be changed, cuddled or given a stomach massage. Something Jisung loved was hearing her satisfied grunts, her little milk coma face was his favourite sight. But after a couple of weeks, the crying got worse.

Chunae would cry for hours on end, for seemingly. No reason at all. You would both desperately try to calm her, offering her bottles, giving her baths, changing the temperature in case she was too hot or cold, constant back rubs and pats, but nothing would change. She would just cry incessantly.

‘I think she might have colic,’ you sigh midway through one of these episodes.

Jisung only nods, cradling Chunae in his chest and stroking her back while she screams.

The two of you devised a sort of system that would happen when Chunae would cry. If you had not long fed her, Jisung would have to be the one to get up. He insisted on this, wanting you to rest.

‘Hi baby,’ Jisung stumbles into her nursery, rubbing his tired eyes, ‘come here.’

He leans over her crib and lifts her out gently, cradling her against his chest over the shoulder.

‘What’s the matter, hmm?’

Chunae just screams, and Jisung mentally begins preparing himself for the next couple of hours. He begins rocking Chunae in his arms, humming a random NCT Dream song quietly. He massages her back as slowly as he can, hoping to calm her, but to no avail.

‘Let’s just cuddle, okay?’ Jisung had read up a lot on colic, and how to help Chunae. The biggest tip generally was to just give cuddles, so that was what the both of you did with her most nights. Jisung sinks down into the armchair, settling Chunae so that she’s laying in his arms.

‘Don’t cry baby,’ he mumbles, ‘you’re okay. There’s no need to cry, everything’s okay.’

She quietens down a bit, but still strangled cries escape from her lips.

Being sat down with his baby daughter, it suddenly hits Jisung just how tired he is. He’s running on next to no sleep, big thick black bags under his eyes as evidence. He smells a little too, both from the lack of a regular shower and the baby powder and milk.

‘You take the life out of me,’ Jisung sighs, ‘what do I have to do to make you stop crying, huh?’

Chunae just keeps screaming.

So this was what being a father was like.

His hyungs had told him countless times that he would be awake all night with the baby, unable to stop them from crying endlessly, and just how constantly exhausted he would be. But he underestimated just how hard on him it would be. It was difficult to express sometimes. He knew you really have the brunt of it. You’re Chunae’s mother. You carried and gave birth to her, breastfeed her constantly throughout they day, and when you’re not doing that you’re pumping for bottles. Your body is tested every single day, hormones and emotions constantly running high. You’re upset and emotional, but still working so hard for your daughter. Jisung admired you so much. You were the most devoted and strong mother, and the things he had seen your body do were incredible, and it made him love you even more than he thought he could. He knew that his exhaustion wasn’t nearly as close to what you were likely feeling. Jisung tried so hard to help, taking over feeding and night time duties whenever he could to allow you to rest and take it easy. But he didn’t feel like it was fair to you to say he was tired. Despite that, this was when Jisung really felt like he had become a father. This baby in his arms was his, made from him and the person he loved most, his to take care of and attend to every need, to keep alive, to love and to mould into a happy and kind person.

Jisung sits with her for over an hour as her sobs gradually fade into weak murmurs.

‘Finally tired?’ Jisung whispers, ‘just close your eyes.’

Once Jisung is sure that she’s sound asleep, he gently lowers her into her crib, before tiptoeing out of the room.

He’s so relieved to climb back into your bed, even though his side is now cold to lie in.

‘Thank you,’ you mumble, half-asleep, ‘love you.’

Jisung kisses the side of your head and settles down into the mattress, falling asleep quickly. Until two hours later and she’s crying again.

Jisung: you know what they say, everybody likes a drink, nobody likes a drunk

Haechan: shut up, the only thing you’ve ever drunk is caprisun

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