#soul mate

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Many of us believe a lot of things about relationships that just aren’t true and we do things that, despite being well intentioned, can end up undermining our own happiness. That’s why this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast is all about boosting your relationship IQ by revealing the secrets of relationship success.

I interviewed relationship expert Dr. Gary Lewandowski. He is a Professor at Monmouth University and author of the new book Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship…and How to See Past Them.

We talk all about his new book, and some of the key topics we get into include:

  • How believing in the idea of a “soul mate” holds us back from finding relationship happiness.

  • Why it’s OK—and healthy—to be a little bit selfish in your relationship.

  • How too much closeness in your relationship can push you and your partner apart.

  • Why you shouldn’t tell your partner, “if you love me, you’ll change.”

  • How going for a partner who is way more attractive than you can produce a less stable relationship.

  • Why it’s important to embrace disagreement and conflict in your relationship.

  • Why breakups usually aren’t as bad as we think they’re going to be—and how to move on after a relationship ends.

Clickhere to listen to the full show!

To learn more about Gary, visit his website and check out his new book Stronger Than You Think.

You can also listen to my podcast and stream all episodes on Apple,Spotify,Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes, and please rate and review the podcast!

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click herefor more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and PsychologyonFacebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTubeandInstagram.

Credits:

Photo: Gary Lewandowski

Seven ways you can #attract a specific person like an ex using the law of attraction. so there is someone in your life or someone who isn’t in your life that you are desperately trying to attract this could be an ex, it could be someone that you really admire or just the ideal soulmate or twin flame of your dreams

The first way to attract a specific person is something that I’ve personally used in my life, and it’s actually the way that I attracted my fiancée. Write a pros and cons list. In the pros write down everything you want in this person, or if this is an ex write down everything good you now want to see in this person and all the things you want to happen with this person. In the cons list write down everything you don’t want in this person, and again, if this is an ex write down all the things you no longer want to have happen in that #relationship. Soon you will find that everything you have written down you will begin to see, because what we focus on we attract!

The second thing that you need to do to attract a specific person is you need to become really aware that we attract who we are. So if you write everything in your pros list about the kind of person that you want to attract, so perhaps you want to attract someone that is really friendly, is a great communicator, perhaps someone who has good relationships with their family, someone who is kind-hearted, who is nice - we attract what we are! So if you find that there are some things that you’ve written down about the person that you want to attract and you are so contradictive to that, so perhaps you want someone that’s fit and healthy but you just sit down you watch TV all day and eat pizza. You need to be what you want to attract - so become more like the person that you want to attract! If you want to attract someone that’s lovely and kind - be lovely and kind to people! If you want to attract someone who is fit and healthy start becoming fit and healthy!

The third thing that you need to do to attract a specific person is you want to become very good at #visualizing. So you may want to just spend five minutes a day visualizing your partner or the person that you want to attract. So if this is someone you know. like an ex. then all you have to do is just think of your ex, and think of all the emotions you have with that ex, perhaps you want to feel gratitude, being grateful - the universe loves gratitude! So if you’re really grateful for your ex, and the #manifestation as appearing in your life, it will happen much quicker.

The fourth way to attract a specific person is you might want to come up with an #affirmation, or an #incantation, to really help you get the feeling of attracting that person. So it could be something like “I am so happy and grateful that this person is coming into my life” and you just keep on repeating and repeating it. You also want to make sure that you have the feelings of feeling good, feeling alive, feeling #grateful while you are doing this. Perhaps you want to do it while you’re exercising, because again like I said about visualizing, sometimes it’s really good to be actually moving our body, to be standing in a resourceful state to be able to make those affirmations even more powerful.

The fifth way to attract a specific person is you want to become the best version of yourself. In the process of becoming the best version of yourself and you’re growing, and you have more #ambition, #growing your personal development, you’re growing that business, you’re growing your income, you’re doing whatever it is that you consider being personal #growth. By becoming the best version of yourself, doing those daily practices, so like exercising daily #meditating daily, being kind and considerate to other people, by doing these things we are attracting new people into our lives new experiences new circumstances, so we can find the person that we are truly meant to be with.

The sixth way to attract a specific person is when you go to bed at night only think about things you want to #manifest. I used to be thinking of all the things going wrong in my life before I went to bed, I used to have feelings of worry and the things that weren’t currently working. Try not to think of these things before bed, only think about the things you want and by doing so you will attract better things into your life, including the person you are trying to manifest.

The seventh, and the last way, to attract a specific person is to let go of the outcome. Now, I feel like is the most problematic thing that people find when it comes to the law of attraction, and manifesting, and the reason why this is because it seems contradictory. We get what we focus on we get, but we need to let go of the outcome!… Visit: www.christineloveridge.com

I completely and utterly refuse to understand half-loves. How do you only half-way fall from a building? Drown in a river? You are either all in, or you are not at all. Because when my love is lit, it may begin slow but it will eventually end up catching like wildfire. I will wholly love every part of your soul until I have charted every secret world you have ever lived in and thought you have ever kept hidden in-between your ribs. I will memorize the indentions of your hips and the way your eyelashes twist and topple together. I could never half explore your depths, just as I could never half exist. When I love you, it is whole.

Dream Date #1:

On a rainy day we stay inside and gather comfy blankets, make some tea, and let swing music echo in our place as we cuddle to the small pats of rain drizzle on our home

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